[Edited on October 10, 2011 at 8:47 PM. Reason : love, marko]

10/10/2011 8:46:12 PM

I believe the definition can easily be condensed into, "someone you're likely to have an affair with"



See, I used to know this girl named Snoop. Gully as fuck, but I'm straight up about the business, so I didn't go for that shit.

10/10/2011 8:46:43 PM

well i ain't makin sweet love to those people

10/10/2011 8:48:02 PM

From careerbuilder:

Quote :

" 7 Signs You Have a Work Spouse CareerBuilder.com Do you have a "work spouse" at your workplace? A work spouse is a co-worker of the opposite sex with whom you have a close platonic relationship. In many ways, these relationships can mirror a real marriage. A recent CareerBuilder.com survey revealed that one-in-ten workers (11 percent) felt that they had a work spouse. And though it's usually beneficial to have a close friend at work, 20 percent of the workers polled indicated their real-life spouse was jealous of their workplace counterpart. Do you have a work spouse? Here are seven clear signs you might have a work spouse: 1. You depend on a particular co-worker for office supplies, snacks and aspirin. 2. There are inside jokes that you and a specific co-worker share. 3. You can be bluntly honest with this person about his or her appearance, hygiene or hair (and vice versa). You're comfortable enough to point out that the other's hair is sticking up -- or that someone's fly is down. 4. When something eventful happens at work, this co-worker is the first person you seek out for a de-briefing. 5. At breakfast, lunch and coffee breaks, your closest co-worker knows what to order for you and how you like your coffee (and vice versa). 6. You and your co-worker can finish each other's sentences. 7. Someone in your office knows almost as much about your personal life as your best friend or real-life spouse does. Pluses and minuses of a work-spouse relationship There are great benefits to having a close relationship with a co-worker. Among the benefits of a work spouse: · You have a friend who provides emotional support at work during challenging times. During times of stress at home or at work, you have a built-in support system. · Work spouses often complement each other in terms of skills, abilities and their approaches to work. The two of you can make a very productive team. · Having a trustworthy co-conspirator for those occasional workplace escapades (and juicy gossip) can be beneficial, and often acts as a way to release work-related stress. The possible pitfalls of a work spouse may include: · The relationship between you and your "spouse" might be misinterpreted by other co-workers as a clique. If others feel excluded, it may be a catalyst for personal or professional disagreements. · If the relationship goes sour, it can have a negative impact on you, your "ex" and your team as a whole. · If your real spouse becomes aware of their counterpart, it can create issues in your real-life marriage. Managing the work spouse relationship Here are some tips on how best to keep everyone, including your work spouse, happy on the job. Keep the lines of communication open. Make sure that other co-workers are not feeling shut out by the perception that you and your work spouse are an exclusive clique of two. If you are working on a project together that also involves the team, be sure to reach out to everyone for feedback and suggestions. Avoid crossing boundaries. It's great to have a support system and a close confidante, but be sure to set boundaries for how much to share with your office mate. More importantly, honor those boundaries. If the relationship becomes antagonistic or is too close for comfort, let your work spouse know you need a little space. Lighten the mood. If your life at home and at work is filled with complications, bringing a co-worker into the middle of those issues may not be beneficial for you. You should aim to keep the mood light and happy with your work spouse. You'll look forward to enjoying gossip, taking breaks and being able to relax with a friend without any concerns or complications. "

10/10/2011 8:49:13 PM

I'd be your any spouse

10/10/2011 9:09:29 PM

Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson

10/10/2011 9:13:12 PM

Can you have a dude work spouse and have it not be gay?

Because Theo and I are like 7 for 7 on that list

10/10/2011 9:14:36 PM

Work spouses destroy marriages... case in point

10/10/2011 9:15:04 PM

Quote :

"Please to describe "emotional infidelity." I just want to make sure I don't commit this horrible act."

Don't start falling for someone else, basically. It would hurt so much more knowing my significant other had fallen in love with someone else versus having a one night stand.

10/10/2011 9:19:22 PM

for me whether it's a physical or emotional affair, i'm still cracking skulls


[Edited on October 10, 2011 at 9:41 PM. Reason : ]

10/10/2011 9:41:11 PM

I agree that emotional cheating is terrible, and having been on the other end of that I can say that it hurts more than most things. I don't feel having a work spouse has to lead to this by any means; barring some unforeseen circumstance causing you to somehow fall legitimately in love I don't see how this would even be a question. I view it as a very close friend who is of the opposite sex/sex you're attracted to, and that's never interfered with my being loyal. I'm attracted to lots of women, doesn't mean I'll put them ahead of the one that matters most.

10/11/2011 9:36:41 AM

What happens if your SO falls for someone else, never acts on those feelings, and at some point the feelings either go away or that person exits their life??

Your SO still loves you, and because of that, they never cheat. Do you fault them for having strong feelings (maybe falling in love) for someone else?

I think it shows that your relationship is even stronger because they decided not to jeopardize it by getting physical.

10/11/2011 9:55:24 AM

Falling in love with someone else, but never acting on it? Fuck that shit. Is it supposed to be some kind of noble act that told you?

First they'd have to admit it to you. That is an awkward and trust breaking conversation in itself. How would you feel as her husband having to comfort while grieving over the loss of her work spouse, who she admitted to being in love with? Fuck that. Might as well have just fucked each other.

10/11/2011 10:02:04 AM

Quote :

"First they'd have to admit it to you. That is an awkward and trust breaking conversation in itself."

How is it trust-breaking when you're being honest with someone??

And you're also the last person who should be giving type of love advice on t-dub (which is saying a lot). You're a relationship retard.

10/11/2011 10:06:40 AM

I kinda agree with the telling statement. If they never told you, how can you even think of it that way? You would never know about it so you would never know what type of reaction you would have. If they did tell me they were falling for someone else, I wouldn't care if they "acted" on it physically - it would still hurt so much more to hear something like that.

[Edited on October 11, 2011 at 10:08 AM. Reason : And even if they told me after the fact, it would still hurt]

10/11/2011 10:08:08 AM

They are FINALLY being honest now.

Where was all the honesty when they were developing strong enough feelings for someone to admit falling in love with them behind your back?

10/11/2011 10:10:07 AM

So the consensus is that you can't "fall" or in be in love with more than one person at a time?

We're not penguins.

Quote :

"Where was all the honesty when they were developing strong enough feelings for someone to admit falling in love with them behind your back?"

Maybe they thought they could fight it or that it wasn't going to grow.

[Edited on October 11, 2011 at 10:12 AM. Reason : .]

10/11/2011 10:11:23 AM

Quote :

"Might as well have just fucked each other"

haha, Pikey, you just popped your cherry, so nobody can expect you to know anything about this.

Ive always felt like you should not shit where you eat. It is ok to have a close relationship with a coworker, but they need to remain a coworker and you need to remain professional about it. Nothing is worse that working with the flirting couple.

10/11/2011 10:11:45 AM

Look, I realize everyone isn't going to have the viewpoint as me. But for me personally, no, I cannot be in love with more than one person. I put all the energy I have into my relationship and it would be very hurtful if I found that I wasn't the only "apple of their eye." Sounds silly to some, but connecting with someone else on an emotional level to the point of being in love with them is very hurtful.

10/11/2011 10:14:54 AM

Quote :

"Maybe they thought they could fight it or that it wasn't going to grow."

I don't see how that makes it any more or less okay.

10/11/2011 10:15:19 AM

Quote :

"Look, I realize everyone isn't going to have the viewpoint as me. But for me personally, no, I cannot be in love with more than one person. I put all the energy I have into my relationship and it would be very hurtful if I found that I wasn't the only "apple of their eye." Sounds silly to some, but connecting with someone else on an emotional level to the point of being in love with them is very hurtful."

I feel you on that and almost completely agree. I feel that 95% of cheating occurs because people put themselves in the situation to cheat. Most of that includes going out, drinking, surrounding yourself with the opposite sex (or same sex if that's your thing), etc. But it works on the emotional level as well. Continuing to have contact with someone you are attracted to in your every day life.

I brought up my question because of this thread and work relationships. Sometimes you have to be around someone for extended periods of time (work or maybe a good friend) and maybe you can't help but let feelings develop.

I'm okay (but definitely not happy) with the emotional "cheating" as long as its admitted and it stops. I think once you take it to the physical level is when you're telling your current bf/gf/spouse, "I didn't care enough about you to stay away from this person physically." If you abstain, you are showing how much you still love and care about your current SO. But that's my opinion, and apparently we differ.

10/11/2011 10:23:17 AM

Well, let me just say I am not going to fault someone for developing some sort of innocent crush - I get that it happens, we're human. I consider falling for someone to be completely different. Like, for example, how you said you can't help if you work with someone for long periods of time and you develop a friendship. But to me, you can help what you talk to that person about... and there's a difference between what you can talk to someone you're in love with and a work friend. If that makes sense.

I guess my whole point is, not only recognize if something's going too far, but recognize if you develop a little crush on a coworker. Don't let yourself sink into becoming more and more connected with them and recognize boundaries.


I don't even know if that makes sense

10/11/2011 10:26:18 AM

In terms of family, my dad had two at his old job from two departments he worked with a lot. I got worried at one point when I was in HS that it was something more, but it never was. I really found out when I started working and had the same thing several years later.

When I was doing IT for a school district, I was one of the few men that these buildings full of mostly women got to talk to during the day. It helped that I was a young, outgoing, and usually pretty cheerful guy, so I was quite popular with the ladies. When our IT was temporarily decentralized, I got moved into a network closet in the school I was assigned to handle. The "office" was noisy and very cramped and adjoined the library, so I spent a lot of time in the library hanging out because it was quieter. I became really good friends with the librarian and her kid too. She was very nice, and a little flirty and touchy, but a bit older than myself. She was divorced and I think she would have been DTF, but I was not looking for that. To keep from any improprieties I did not do anything with her outside of work. I had a couple others during my time there and having my office and responsibilities changed every year or two, and a couple even referenced me as their "work hubby", but I think all the rest were genuinely work related only and nothing more than just being friends.

10/11/2011 10:37:51 AM

I see no harm in this if you are both single.

10/11/2011 11:09:51 AM

first 2 no-no's of dating for men are

1) do not date a married woman
2) do not date a girl at work


I am acutely aware of these 2 rules. They are the most important thing a man should follow when dealing with dating women. Yet here I am, just finishing up a conversation with a properly married woman who came by my desk to just have a little chit chat. An innocent chit chat in my book. Except no. She has to play the "tee hee oh look now i'm touching your arm" and laughing and the giggling routine. And what's worse is she keeps negging the fuck out of her husband. Telling me shit about how he's lazy and won't work out with her.

I have stone face with no emotion just listening to her and respecting her opinions and lightly joking with her. She comes by now at least 1x a day to do this. Is it bad that she chats online furiously with me also?



here i am feeling like a pathetic shitbag of a human being b/c i'm maybe a few inches away from literally breaking both of these rules at once.



[Edited on October 11, 2011 at 11:29 AM. Reason : ,]

10/11/2011 11:26:05 AM

Quote :

"she chats online furiously with me also"

yeah, it's not like you can't say "sorry I'm busy doing work, at work" or blocking her online...


... cause that's just way too hard....

10/11/2011 11:32:58 AM

never get your money and your honey from the same place

10/11/2011 11:35:25 AM

Quote :

"Tarun football!!! 9460 Posts user info edit post ^^ you sir, are a good man! "

spoke too soon!

10/11/2011 11:36:17 AM

If I work with only guys, and were to get a work spouse, would I be in violation of gay marriage laws?

10/11/2011 1:38:41 PM

I have a work wife. It lead to drinks a couple random times. Then one time I hooked up with her. No drama. It was chill. Yea and she's 16 years older than me.

10/11/2011 4:36:34 PM

Quote :

"2) do not date a girl at work "

How does this work? It seems that most of the successful (for the time being…) couples I know met at work.

Which makes sense… you’re more likely going to have things in common with someone that chooses the same profession as you.

10/11/2011 8:04:47 PM

I, for one, am glad that my wife is in a completely different field than me.

The last thing I want to do when I come home is talk about work.

She basically feels the same way-- probably more so since she works twice as many hours as I do.

10/12/2011 9:23:22 AM

No women work here anymore, so no.

iheartkisses is my e-boo though

[Edited on October 12, 2011 at 10:02 AM. Reason : egame]

10/12/2011 10:01:59 AM

I think it goes to the fact that men and women can't ever really be JUST friends. Once there's sexual tension there, it's not a real friendship but an excuse to flirt.

10/13/2011 2:24:40 PM

step 1. unload all of your personal life problems on your work spouse.

step 2. have wild sex with your actual spouse.

10/13/2011 2:27:53 PM

my last admin sort of was, especially regarding my expenses and travel. even when i went on personal trips to far away lands, i left copies of my passport, emergency contacts, and other important stuff with her. i always got her souveniers from travel, as well as something every Christmas.

10/13/2011 3:55:05 PM

Quote :

"I think it goes to the fact that men and women can't ever really be JUST friends."

Says who?

10/13/2011 3:58:47 PM

follow up (the amendments)

10/13/2011 4:05:12 PM

ah, I do love that movie. .
Sucks for my guy friends then, if that's the consensus but I'll just keep on keepin' on.
I don't think about having sex with my guy friends. If I'm thinking about having sex with a guy, he's not my friend, he's a target I'm a serial monogamist, that's just how I operate.

10/13/2011 4:20:50 PM

If you're straight, can you still have a male work-spouse? What about work-spouse-bigamy?

10/13/2011 5:43:14 PM

how has nobody posted this yet?

10/13/2011 5:46:10 PM