Protip: Live in state where MIL does not reside.

3/20/2012 10:27:37 AM

Quote :

"Another point might be when she leaves a half-eaten plum on a BED and then refused to clean it up. I mean, who puts half-eaten food on a fucking bed in someone else's house? who the fuck does that?"

Seriously. I still can't wrap my head around that. Every time I read this thread my face goes when I get to that point in the story haha. No one would even dare to call me a neat freak with the way I leave papers all over my desk but half-eaten food on the bed is a whole new planet of dirty for me.

3/20/2012 11:07:54 AM

yeah I can understand dishes in the sink, mail laying around, clothing on the floor...but half eaten fruit!?!?!?!?!

that is begging for a maggot/fruit fly infestation and its going to stink like hell AND stain whatever it is laying on

3/20/2012 11:11:23 AM

And ON the bed no less! I could maybe get it if she had left it on a plate on the kitchen counter or something. Annoying that she didn't just take the extra effort to throw it away but still something normal people are guilty of doing. Really leaving eaten fruit on the bed just seems like a giant troll move to me.

3/20/2012 11:17:49 AM

my level of bluntness was so unbelievable to my future MIL she severed all ties (going on 3mos now).

3/20/2012 12:31:38 PM

Quote :

"Another point might be when she leaves a half-eaten plum on a BED and then refused to clean it up. I mean, who puts half-eaten food on a fucking bed in someone else's house? who the fuck does that?" "

That is just NASTY.

3/20/2012 3:13:51 PM

While not always practical, sometimes wouldn't it be best for the actual/biological child to step in and take care of the issue? There has been some tension and some control issues from my mother to me and my fiancee in the wedding planning process, and rather than have my fiancee and my mother have bad feelings over the issue, I've tried to keep them from speaking to each other until we get it worked out. Line of reasoning being that there is less likely going to be long-term resentment there, whereas the traditional in-law relationship seems loaded enough already. I don't want to add anymore baggage there.

3/21/2012 9:22:33 AM

yeah that fruit thing is mind boggling.

luckily i love my MIL to death (FIL too).
I think my wife feels the same about my mom. (my dad is out of the picture for the most part)

We are expecting in about 6 weeks though, so we will have to see if anything changes.

3/21/2012 9:26:15 AM

My MIL cleans my house all the time and does the laundry, which I do not complain about...actually I encourage it.

3/21/2012 9:50:10 AM

Thanks for all the feedback, comments, advice, etc.

Just to clear up a few things.

1. I totally realize this has gone on for way too long. It has been much easier to ignore up until this point, because:
- It only affected me, and I would just do my very best to avoid her when she came, ie work, go out with friends, or just hang out in my man-cave.
- Her visits were not that frequent. Once or twice a year at most. Other than when I went to NCSU (which was like a 5.5 hour drive), I haven't lived anywhere that was really that close (South Carolina, Connecticut, New York, and Washington).

2. I understand a few people said that they would absolutely have taken care of this in the past. That is great, in theory. But, the reality of the situation is, my wife has always been very close to her family. She knows her mom is quirky, but she still loves her. We got married when I was 20 and she was 19, and my wife has been following me around from duty station to duty station without complaining for the last 13 years. I know it's not easy on her, especially since she has always been so close to her family. So yes, I have felt a sense of obligation to just deal with all the shit that her mom does, because my job (and thus me) has already done enough to weaken the bonds she shares with her family. A lot of it has been WTF (the two incidents I described still blow my mind), but in the big scheme of life, is ignorable.

3. I bought the Pomeranian mix as a surprise for my wife shortly after her grandmother died. She was in West Virginia, attending the funeral, (this was only a couple months after our wedding). I figured I would surprise her with a SPCA puppy so she would have something to keep her occupied with when she got home. I was dirt poor at the time, and our apartment complex only allowed small dogs. It kind of backfired though, because I bought him a couple weeks before she got home, and the dog grew really attached to me, and has always been "my" dog. We have to put him to sleep soon, because he is getting old and in a lot of pain, and is starting to get aggressive towards people if they touch him the wrong way and hurt him. He has been a great dog. So if you want to make fun of me for owning a Pomeranian mix, you can suck it.

3/21/2012 3:55:32 PM