Quote :

""what makes your religion more correct than all the other religions?""

7/13/2012 11:17:18 PM

Who created God or did he create himself?

7/13/2012 11:44:46 PM

You didn't answer my question

7/13/2012 11:47:48 PM

Quote :

"Who created God or did he create himself?"

Quote :

"And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shall you say unto the children of Israel, I AM has sent me unto you."

Exodus 3:14

Good enough for me.

7/14/2012 12:02:48 AM

Quote :

"And Edie said unto Moses, WHAT I AM IS WHAT I AM: and she said, are you what you are or what?"

New Bohemians 4:57

7/14/2012 12:20:30 AM

Is Jesus the son of God? I took HI 404 (Rome to 337 AD). One day we had a lesson on the mystic faiths that predated the time of Christ. One of those religions involved the belief that a god had his body chopped up and died. Three days later his goddess wife put him back together and resurrected him from the dead. There were other parallels too between these faiths and the big 3 of todays world.

7/14/2012 12:31:48 AM

Do people come to you with ridiculous problems and expect you to fix them?

7/14/2012 12:41:19 AM

Hello kind sir,

Concerning altar boys.

I would have liked you to be a bit more specific with their ages. "Teenage" is a big range. We're talking three distinct and different social and physical developmental levels here.

The first group, the 13 and 14 year olds, might not even have hit puberty yet. They'll probably be gaunt, with virtually no muscle structure whatsoever, with the fat ones featuring unsightly globe shaped globules of flesh across their chests, as proper tits hadn't yet had the chance to develop. Their faces are a mixed bag, some smooth as silk, some scarred by the constant battle with acne. Their genitals are mostly hairless, with maybe a stay bit of stubble proudly sported by the few most mature of the bunch.

For this group, you'd probably want to avoid actual intercourse and just stick with the hands and mouth, and I say that for a couple of reasons. One, of course, is that you're not even sure if these kids can properly ejaculate yet. Two, and this is the big one, is that I don't think most of these kids would be able to handle you. Your cock is almost fatter than it is long. Its shaped like a football. You could do some real damage to these kids. I think your best bet is just stick to the basics and save the good stuff for the older children.

15 and 16 year olds are almost universally assholes. They smoke, they drink, they curse, they steal and they're generally just unpleasant to be around. My 16 year old cousin is probably the meanest fucking person I know. I wouldn't wish the company of 15 and 16 year olds on anyone. Except you. Because you're second meanest fucking person I know. You don't take shit from anybody. If anyone can handle these bastards, its you.

For this group, you have a little more free reign than than the last time, but it would still be prudent to exercise some caution, particularly with the more frail looking ones. An ill timed thrust could still shatter a pubic bone or tear or tear a rectal wall. Focus more on the ones who look a bit older, maybe like that Taylor kid from Twilight. Try to get them to all bend over in a line and do suicides where you run down to the first kid, bang him for one stroke, run back to the starting line, run to the second kid, bang him for one stroke, run back, etc. Its a great workout, and it makes everyone feel like they're involved.

17 and 18 year olds are pretty much adults. Some kids in high school look 25. Facial hair is the norm here, with an emphasis on goatee's and sideburns. The acne that plagued them in the past is gone for many, but its remnants cursed on the unfortunate few now left them the target of jokes and scorn from their classmates. Some of the athlete types had taken up weightlifting, and thick sinewy muscles began to ripple across their bodies. This group was prime for dick.

Your dick. Anything is fair game with these guys. You name it, you fuck it. Get creative. You played it safe with the earlier groups; now's the time to really let lose. Experiment. Everyone has a fantasy. I'd like to plunge my fists up two dude's butts and have someone twirl me around like an egg beater. I'm sure yours is probably much worse than that. Maybe have everyone nut in a shot glass and act like you're going to have a contest where the loser has to chug it, but instead, make everyone take a sip. Maybe Manhattan Transfer a used condom back and forth as many times as you can. Maybe take a scalpel and cut 1/8" slits at 8 equidistant spots along the smallest kid's anus and surprise rape him so that your cock will actually fit. Whatever you want.


Those are just a few ideas. PM me for more.

7/14/2012 1:32:09 AM

Was Jesus black?

7/14/2012 1:51:45 AM

Quote :

"what makes your religion more correct than all the other religions?"

can anyone who is religious answer this?

7/14/2012 2:07:49 AM

there are over 40,000 species of spiders. How did Noah coax two of each to come aboard his yacht? what did they eat for 40 days and nights? Did Noah also bring 3 million flies? thanks

7/14/2012 10:54:25 AM

^^Haven't you guys ever watched South Park? I would think by now that everyone would know the Mormons were correct and the rest of us are going to hell.

7/14/2012 10:59:10 AM

If only the penitent man shall pass, and the penitent man simply kneels before god, how did Indy also know to do a forward roll to avoid the blade that came up from the ground?

what does tumbling have to do with penitence?

[Edited on July 14, 2012 at 11:12 AM. Reason : ya'heard?]

7/14/2012 11:07:15 AM

My wife is southern baptist and i'm forced to take that shit on.

How much should I hate jews and catholics?

I really like Uncle Andy from Weeds and Ed Norton in that movie Keeping the Faith.

[Edited on July 14, 2012 at 4:22 PM. Reason : yup]

7/14/2012 4:19:52 PM

my friend loudRyan wants to know if Jesus tamed and rode a Utahraptor?

Also, who are you voting for in this election as a man of god? Do you give any credibility to the Mormon religion?

7/14/2012 4:38:14 PM

If god is so great, how do you explain this:

7/14/2012 10:13:49 PM

^just what in the actual fuck is that?

7/14/2012 10:46:33 PM

7/14/2012 11:39:13 PM

new to me!!! WTF


question: is being a good person enough?

7/15/2012 12:27:25 AM

eww eww i have some


if jesus died for my sins why does he still exist in heaven?

if god is all good and all powerful why is there so much suffering?

why does the OT not mention that jesus would be sacrificed for our sins?

why is the OT god ok with slavery and genocide?

why did jesus only cure blindness for that one guy and not all blind people?

7/15/2012 9:42:21 AM

if god is beyond any human's understanding, what is the point of theology?

7/17/2012 8:21:49 PM

Why do you prefer christian mythology over greek mythology?


IMO, Greek is more badass in general and the half god/human guy was stronger.

7/17/2012 9:46:48 PM

haha holy shit. first google result
http://carm.org/why-believe-in-christianity-over-all-other-religions

short version:
"believe in christianity because things foretold in the old testament really happened. and by "really happened," I mean that they happened in the new testament"

7/23/2012 6:07:34 PM

Quote :

"If truth is relative, then the statement that truth is relative is an absolute truth and would be self defeating statement by proving that truth is not relative. But, if truth is absolute, then the statement "truth is absolute" is true and not self defeating. It is true that truth exists."

LOL, that shit is deep yo!

7/23/2012 6:20:46 PM

I once had a pastor say something really interesting...

"The Bible is full of truth...not facts"

7/24/2012 8:20:54 AM

could god microwave a burrito so hot that even he could not eat it?

[Edited on July 24, 2012 at 7:19 PM. Reason : either way there is something he cant do...]

7/24/2012 7:17:49 PM

bttt

religious people often tout the power of prayer when someone recovers from an illness. do religious people ever pray for amputees to have the limbs regenerate? if not, why? thanks

8/31/2012 10:12:12 AM

Quote :

"^just what in the actual fuck is that?"

That, sir, is a coconut crab. 3 foot leg span, up to 9 lbs, and can live for 60 years. Technically a species of hermit crab, though the adults do not carry shells.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coconut_crab

8/31/2012 12:04:31 PM