[perhaps]

5/23/2013 9:43:26 AM

i wouldn't dump my wife for having a heavy makeout session with punchmonk

[Edited on May 23, 2013 at 10:12 AM. Reason : ha]

5/23/2013 10:12:10 AM

My woman is so jealous, she gets pissed at me for texting platonic female friends. Even if they are good friends with her. Regardless, I'm at least honest about it and don't try to hide anything even if it angers her.

5/23/2013 10:13:22 AM

Of course it is.

And PS, I like how punchmonk drops a topic like this and then doesn't respond anymore haha.

5/23/2013 10:37:59 AM

Kissing is only cheating if you're concealing it from your significant other. Because with cheating, it isn't the act that is the betrayal but the dishonesty and secrecy that is the betrayal.

5/23/2013 10:42:57 AM

bwn?

5/23/2013 10:43:38 AM

Quote :

"yes, don't be a slut"

Also, I agree that hanging out with somebody of the opposite sex alone is borderline cheating. Unless they guy is gay, or it's somebody that has been just a friend for a long time, or somebody that I've met and didn't see as a threat. It's especially borderline if they've slept with that person in the past.

5/23/2013 10:52:58 AM

My GF used to go to the strip club with 2 of her guy friends every Friday. I used to meet them up there when I got off of work. I have since become really good friends with one of the guys and his wife/kids. We all hang out at least once a week.

Again, it wasn't cheating because she never tried to hide it or go behind my back. Plus, if I told her I had a problem with it, it would have stopped.

5/23/2013 11:16:06 AM

I can't do the peck on the lips hello/goodbye thing.

my wife's family does it-- they're from south africa, and are essentially european like that. I can't get past the idea of my lips touching some old lady's.

i do hugs. hugs are cool.

5/23/2013 11:19:02 AM

^ I am the same way. It makes me uncomfortable, but I can deal with it. My family has never been affectionate at all, so even a hug was reserved for major life moments (someone died, someone got engaged, etc etc). My GF's family is the exact opposite. They are all about affection, so it took some getting used to. I think that's the difference between growing up in the north and growing up in the south.

5/23/2013 11:22:58 AM

Hanging out with a member of the opposite sex is borderline cheating??? I just think that is cray cray.

I think that it says more about you than anything else. You have to be rather insecure, distrustful, and suspicious.

I mean, damn, I'm bisexual. Using that line of thought, I shouldn't get to hang out alone with any damned body.

5/23/2013 11:43:00 AM

^^yeah Indian people also aren't the most affectionate, and growing up in the south reinforced that. Although in college, I got used to hugs being a default greeting-- bear hugs for girls, and bro hugs for dudes.

^ i think your whole bisexual open marriage thing is a unique case. for the more 'mainstream' relationships, it's rare that a man and a woman hanging out 1 on 1 is not based on sexual tension once you're past the college age/lifestyle. Not saying it's an unequivocal rule, but it isn't common especially if you're married.

[Edited on May 23, 2013 at 11:48 AM. Reason : .]

5/23/2013 11:44:09 AM

1. Bisexuality in general is not unique.
2. I do not have an open marriage.
3. The only reason that men and women spending time together as platonic friends doesn't happen a great deal past marriage is because of cray cray spouses. Men and women can be friends as adults without wanting to get in eachother's pants and it's pretty juvenile to think otherwise.

And like I said, if that's true then every married person whose sexuality isn't uber hetero shouldn't have any individual relationships outside of their marriage because of the *gasp* sexual tension.

[Edited on May 23, 2013 at 12:20 PM. Reason : .]

5/23/2013 12:15:29 PM

People can totally be friends without doing it. Just don't get drunk alone.

5/23/2013 12:39:04 PM

Quote :

"Men and women can be friends as adults without wanting to get in eachother's pants and it's pretty juvenile to think otherwise."

I am quite certain that pretty much any of my GF's male friends would fuck her given the opportunity. The difference is, I trust her not to give them that opportunity.

5/23/2013 12:46:03 PM

I don't think it ever ends either. 60+ year old men are still tryna bwn.

5/23/2013 12:48:00 PM

Quote :

"Men and women can be friends as adults without wanting to get in eachother's pants and it's pretty juvenile to think otherwise."

there's a difference between not wanting to, and not saying you want to.

5/23/2013 12:49:06 PM

Quote :

"People can totally be friends without doing it. Just don't get drunk alone."

5/23/2013 1:34:24 PM

Quote :

""Men and women can be friends as adults without wanting to get in eachother's pants and it's pretty juvenile to think otherwise.""

If a chick is attractive, the vast majaroity of men want to get in her pants. It doesn't mean they act on it, but they certainly think about it. Maybe it's not the same for girls.

5/23/2013 1:41:58 PM

^

Quote :

"I am quite certain that pretty much any of my GF's male friends would fuck her given the opportunity."

5/23/2013 1:43:13 PM

yeah it really comes down to the person and the circumstance. I would hate to think that my SO would go get drunk with a guy because men are fucking wolves. If they don't know you and you have a hot girl, they will take any opportunity they can to swoop in on her and if she's drunk it makes it a lot more likely to happen. I would hate to have the "I'm really sorry I only cheated because I was wasted" conversation. If you care about somebody, you don't put yourself in those types of situations.

Also, classic "date" situations like movies, dinner for two, etc. are sketch as fuck, especially if he pays.

I don't have any hot girls as friends for a reason. 1) I've fucked them and things didn't work out; 2) I've tried to fuck them and things didn't work out;

If I happen to have a hot girl "friend" the situation to do #1 or #2 has not yet presented itself, but I am waiting for it to.

5/23/2013 1:44:26 PM

when i was younger i commonly hung out with males and females, sometimes at the same time, and sometimes individually. But now that I'm married, i'd feel weird about just hanging out one on one with a female friend. would it be cheating? no, but still a little awkward.

5/23/2013 1:54:19 PM

Quote :

"So you're saying that time we made out meant nothing to you? "

errrr no comment on the alleged actions

[Edited on May 23, 2013 at 2:18 PM. Reason : ]

5/23/2013 2:17:57 PM

one time at camp i touched her boob

5/23/2013 2:26:51 PM

well considering my dog thinks it's cheating when I rub another dog on the head, I'm pretty sure my boyfriend would think it's cheating if I kissed another dude...

5/23/2013 4:17:22 PM

Quote :

""I am quite certain that pretty much any of my GF's male friends would fuck her given the opportunity.""

would you fuck any of your male friends' GFs if given the opportunity?

5/23/2013 4:23:07 PM

haha...Ken and I just talked about this about a month or so ago and then I read that article I posted. I always wondered how people felt about it. I am not sure if I made a thread before but I know I have answered about cheating in another thread.

Mindy in that article says that kissing someone else (for other people) has become such a big deal and that it is the gateway to sex. I kind of see it as that. I LOVE kissing and I am content with that but I think that a lot of people want to go further, so I didn't agree with her in that article. I also like the idea of a first kiss. Personally, I think me kissing a woman is different than me kissing another man but that is for my own concern not to put that on others. Ken agrees with me.

Also, I totally agree that doing anything without your SO knowing is cheating. I also try very hard not to think inappropriately but just for the record, Ken and I have an open constant dialogue. I myself have made mistakes in the past where I didn't tell him things and I have learned that I just need to talk things out with him because that almost destroyed our relationship at one point.

My ideas on cheating have definitely evolved from when I first started dating to now.

5/23/2013 5:25:45 PM

5/23/2013 6:51:22 PM

tl td 2r (too long, too drunk, 2 read)

I can test thistheary let me kwno

5/23/2013 7:02:02 PM

@OP

nah, baby.

[Edited on May 23, 2013 at 7:06 PM. Reason : .]

5/23/2013 7:05:34 PM

So qntmfred gets to watch punchmonk hook up with girls? Interesting...but I dig it.

5/23/2013 7:10:44 PM

Quote :

" an open constant dialogue."

Ding ding ding. The backbone of a beautiful relationship. I strive for the same thing in my marriage. I am not always successful, but I think that kind of openness helps prevent things deteriorating to the point where infidelity occurs. I am of the opinion that cheating is just a symptom of an ailing relationship and not the cause. Maybe that's why I think that you can have friends of your preferred gender without it being sketchy. If the relationship is strong and temptations can be openly discussed then it shouldn't be a threat to your SO.

5/23/2013 7:48:26 PM

i would make out with bottombaby








's vagina

5/23/2013 7:55:22 PM

[honesty and open dialogue]"I love you baby, but I really want to fuck the shit out of this girl that works beside me who has been hitting on me big time. But I'm not gonna fuck her, because I love you....but I might still jerk off to her every now and then and probably imagine I'm fucking her when I'm fucking you...but just once or twice. Love you babe, wanna watch some Dexter?"[/honesty and open dialogue]

5/23/2013 7:58:02 PM

Quote :

""...we need to be realistic about our partners, [they] are going to be attracted to other people as we are ourselves...realistic about the fact that love means for many refraining from fucking other people it doesn't mean that you don't want to fuck other people. We idealize monogamy to this point where everyone who fails at it physically or just emotionally feels like they're not truly in love...because they want to fuck other people. We've pitted people against their own natures...""

5/23/2013 11:34:32 PM

I Have Judged Every Woman I Was Not Related To On Whether Or Not I Would Sleep With Her I Have Ever seen


Also Dont Know Why Phone Is Capitalizing The First Letter Of Every Word But I Am Not Upset Enough About It To Fond Out How To Change it

5/24/2013 12:37:53 AM

HOW ABOUT AUSTRALIAN KISSING THEM?

5/24/2013 1:18:17 AM

I don't think it is cheating. I don't know an actual one word description to identify what it is exactly.

I think it's really irresponsible and disrespectful to the person that you committed to, though. And using that logic, the SO should drop their partner because they have no loyalty and obviously lack control of themselves.

5/24/2013 1:30:47 AM

A lot of people like to talk about "standards" and this and that, but the reality is that men and women are completely different when it comes to their sexual behavior.

A man wants sex and he wants it from as many women as possible. He settles on sexual relations with one person for a number of reasons, including love, security, protecting his property (i.e. he's the only one who gets to fuck her), and consequences. This is the correct explanation for why men are able to function in a monogamous relationship.

Now, if a woman was able to convince a man that it was okay to fuck anyone else, it's game on. Let's say she said that all 10 of her best girl friends were willing to have sex with them. These girls range from a 4 to a 9 in terms of looks. ALL of those are girls are going to be fucked by the man. Let's say she meets a girl who's a 2, and one day she comes over while the woman is at work and offers to suck the man's dick. Even though she's over 200 lbs and ugly as fuck, the guy is still going to come in her mouth. This is how men operate.

Women, on the other hand, don't have clear or rational reasons for who they let fuck them. If a man said it was okay for her to fuck everyone he worked with, the woman is just as likely to fuck an entry-level associate as she is to have sex with the CFO. I'm sure you all know a girl who is hot as fuck and could basically have her pick of the litter yet usually only fucks unemployed losers. You can't compare behaviors here because women are looking for something that no one understands and men are all about quantity.

Cheating is cheating. If you want to know if something is cheating, ask your significant other. In my opinion, if you have to ask, it's cheating.

No one should live in a fantasy world, though. Just because you're married or in a committed relationship doesn't mean that you don't find other people hot as fuck. It just means you don't pursue it.

5/24/2013 3:13:56 AM

Quote :

"if you have to ask, it's cheating"

Yes

5/24/2013 7:04:27 AM

Quote :

"To me, this is still cheating. And more than just "hanging out""

definitely cheating

also, agree with this:

Quote :

"if i was married in that situation, she'd be coming with me, or i would take a different job state-side"

5/24/2013 10:58:18 AM

^^^
so many things wrong with that post i can't begin to point them out

5/24/2013 1:18:10 PM

^ disagreed

5/24/2013 1:46:28 PM

i don't agree with most of that post either, but definitely the part i quoted

5/24/2013 2:34:47 PM

that doesn't make any sense though. how do you know what your SO is or is not cool with without talking about it? especially since some people consider talking to the opposite sex cheating

5/24/2013 2:49:10 PM

i guess i'm looking at it from my POV. i know i can talk to my dude friends without my SO flipping out. if there's something i need to ask about, which really hasn't actually come up in our relationship, then it's probably not something i should be doing.

5/24/2013 2:52:52 PM

Depends on the relationship between the two and the kind of kissing involved. A peck on the cheek of your mom / sister / relationship similar to those roles, not a problem. 90% of all other situations, yes.

Acraw is describing emotional cheating, and it will toll on the girl more than she thinks. She also seems to be relying on others for her happiness, which again will only end badly for her.

5/24/2013 3:06:09 PM

yeah fuck her. we have not talked in a week. that's going to change when she comes back from her weekend trip.

5/24/2013 9:54:32 PM

http://glo.msn.com/relationships/crushed-1534430.story

8/10/2013 4:44:03 PM

AND -- http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/08/13/211700456/would-some-marriages-be-better-if-couples-signed-wedleases

8/14/2013 2:12:06 PM