rawr rawr kngdouchebag here

[Edited on January 21, 2015 at 8:52 AM. Reason : Peace, we outta here.]

1/21/2015 8:52:47 AM

Hubs has been out of town since Monday morning.

MLK Monday - had the day off. Went to the gym, ran some errands, had lunch with a friend. It was 70 degrees and sunny here, so I went for a long afternoon run by the Savannah River. Got a manicure, made a t-bone with blanched green beans, watched a movie. In bed around 10pm. Excellent day. I wish every Monday was a bank holiday.

Yesterday was decent - work, the gym, sushi date with friends.

Today, back to the norm - work, gym, making dinner since hubs will be back.

1/21/2015 11:51:54 AM

Quote :

"SINCE HUBS WILL BE BACK"

I foresee the plot to a Cinemax thriller for some reason.

Quote :

"LUNCH WITH a FRIEND"

[Edited on January 21, 2015 at 12:10 PM. Reason : ]

1/21/2015 12:02:19 PM

Lunch was with Ann. Dinner the next night was with Ann and Leslie. I have few friends here.



[Edited on January 21, 2015 at 12:32 PM. Reason : ]

1/21/2015 12:31:25 PM

Like I said,

Cinemax thriller.

1/21/2015 12:35:44 PM

Only in my sweet dreams

1/21/2015 12:37:42 PM

Quote :

"And you drinkin' white wine COME ON SON"

1/21/2015 1:55:46 PM

Even better..... It was a Moscato

1/21/2015 10:45:23 PM

Kill yourself.

1/22/2015 9:08:24 AM

Quote :

"Id kill for a day like that. The wife gave me the option to go to delaware with her mom a few months ago. Brownie points are useless these days since I get minimal ass no matter what I do sooooo I stayed home watched always sunny and played gta all weekend only putting pants on to answer the door for pizza. It was the highlight of my 2014."

i swear to god every single day i read something on the internet that convinces me to never get married.

1/22/2015 1:51:32 PM

Yeah, I am sure it is YOUR choice to not be married.

1/22/2015 1:55:35 PM

Lots of good things about being married. But man, it is so nice to get some real alone time every once in a while. With no judging for eating crappy food and watching crappier television.

1/22/2015 2:10:56 PM

haha, you stupid, matt.

how'd your plan workout?

Also, re: white wine... if I'm drinking wine, it's white or rose. hate red wine.
But normally, I drink beer.

[Edited on January 22, 2015 at 2:17 PM. Reason : .]

1/22/2015 2:17:24 PM

Quote :

"Lots of good things about being married. But man, it is so nice to get some real alone time every once in a while. With no judging for eating crappy food and watching crappier television."

This, with the exception of crappy food. I tend to eat better when he's not around - he hate salad and I love it, but I'm not going to make him a good dinner and just have a salad myself.

1/22/2015 5:02:30 PM

Quote :

" HE HATE SALAD "

1/22/2015 5:34:47 PM

What the fuck is this shit? did you all get your balls cut when you got married? god damn.

1/22/2015 5:41:36 PM

This thread is trippin' me out. You guys have to wait until your spouse is gone to watch movies you like and eat food you want? Y'all don't have any alone time to do this otherwise, or can she not eat something else?

I just don't get it. I require a minimum of two hours alone every day or I'll go crazy. I should maybe not get married.

1/22/2015 6:58:43 PM

70% of the shit we do, we both want to do because we have the same interests. 20% of the time I have to do shit she likes (meet up with her friends, run errands, go shopping). 10% of the time we do shit I want to do (watch the State basketball game last night, hit up the brewery to watch football, go to the movies every now and then).

When she goes out of town, I have that extra 20% available to go to more movies, eat whatever I want, and watch as much basketball as I can (she hates basketball, but I get a pass on State games).

At the same time, the 20% of shit that I "settle" to do because of her, is actually beneficial to me. Like eating healthy. I could eat pizza and bacon/tomato/pimiento sandwiches for every meal with several delicious beers, but she cooks healthy (and tasty) stuff...therefore I don't get fat and unhealthy. I hate cleaning, but my house would be a dump if she didn't say "we're cleaning the house today, you get the downstairs bathroom and the kitchen, I get everything else", once very two weeks.

Sounds lame as fuck, but she makes me a better person. I have to sacrifice shit I want to do every now and then, but it's usually beneficial to me anyways. Even if its not, every now and then you have to do shit you don't want to do for the good of the relationship. Either way, I don't see how it's bad that I like to veg out and watch movies when my wife goes out of town. What's bad is if you do that shit everyday. Get out of the house fattie.

1/23/2015 8:17:57 AM

I eat what I want and do what I want when my husband is home. But when he left for 6 weeks I still spent the first couple days eating ramen and frozen veggie burgers and not cleaning up after myself.

But I guess we also go through phases like that when we are together every once in a while too. It's not being married that makes us keep the house clean and eat well. It's just being an adult and having adult priorities and responsibilities. But every once in a while we just get kind of tired and want to live like we're in college again for a few days. It's a little easier for that to happen when it's just one of you and not both.

1/23/2015 9:02:42 AM

It's not like you can't get alone time or eat what you want or watch what you want when your married, it's just different. I can't stay up until midnight watching TV and eating brownies in bed if he's going to bed early. And it's not really alone time if you're just one room over. I mean, yes, you are alone, but you never know when he'll pop into the kitchen and silently judge for watching Princess Diaries 2 again.

1/23/2015 9:06:25 AM

Quote :

"You guys have to wait until your spouse is gone to watch movies you like and eat food you want? Y'all don't have any alone time to do this otherwise, or can she not eat something else?"

nah, it ain't like that at all.

Here's the deal. all of this shit that we do when we are by ourselves for a day or two comes down to guilty pleasure shit that we don't really want anyone to witness. When i'm home alone without the wife and kids, I regress into caveman/homeless guy mode which involves sub-standard hygiene, eating an entire pizza in one sitting, watching shitty movies/gaming and making a huge fucking mess in the process. maybe some amphetamines. and constant jerking off. Then waking up in a pile of empty tall-boys feeling like I got gang raped by the last week's posters in CL casual encounters. And right as I'm starting to get over the hangover and surveying the wasteland that I've turned my house into with a degree of satisfaction, I realize that she's gonna be back in two hours.

Two hours later there isn't a motherfucking fiber of evidence that anything was different than when she left.

And i've got the crackhead out of my system for the foreseeable future. I am once again ready to be an upstanding citizen who bathes daily, takes out the trash, cleans the kitchen, bathes the kids, fixes the creaky step, assembles whatever-the-fuck new thing my wife bought, and all of the other shit that we do as thirtysomethings with careers and spouses and kids.

tl;dr - none of us want our wives, or really anyone, to see us like this.

[Edited on January 23, 2015 at 9:25 AM. Reason : .]

1/23/2015 9:24:25 AM

^ pretty damn close

1/23/2015 9:28:35 AM

^^Seconded.

1/23/2015 10:10:59 AM

^^^Thirdeded.

1/23/2015 10:37:52 AM

mommy/daddy issues ITT

1/23/2015 10:46:18 AM

5^

FUCKING CLASSIC!!

1/23/2015 11:53:29 AM

6^
Damn. That was perfect

1/23/2015 12:10:30 PM

Quote :

"nah, it ain't like that at all. Here's the deal. all of this shit that we do when we are by ourselves for a day or two comes down to guilty pleasure shit that we don't really want anyone to witness. When i'm home alone without the wife and kids, I regress into caveman/homeless guy mode which involves sub-standard hygiene, eating an entire pizza in one sitting, watching shitty movies/gaming and making a huge fucking mess in the process. maybe some amphetamines. and constant jerking off. Then waking up in a pile of empty tall-boys feeling like I got gang raped by the last week's posters in CL casual encounters. And right as I'm starting to get over the hangover and surveying the wasteland that I've turned my house into with a degree of satisfaction, I realize that she's gonna be back in two hours. Two hours later there isn't a motherfucking fiber of evidence that anything was different than when she left. And i've got the crackhead out of my system for the foreseeable future. I am once again ready to be an upstanding citizen who bathes daily, takes out the trash, cleans the kitchen, bathes the kids, fixes the creaky step, assembles whatever-the-fuck new thing my wife bought, and all of the other shit that we do as thirtysomethings with careers and spouses and kids. tl;dr - none of us want our wives, or really anyone, to see us like this."

re-quoted, b/c yes

1/23/2015 12:23:24 PM

Is this what I can look forward to when getting married?

1/23/2015 8:18:16 PM

Depends on you significant other. Mine is quite low maintenance herself, so she doesn't give much of a shit if I want to get up on Saturday and game all morning. Can't play GTA V or Borderlands in front of the kids, but mine is usually pretty cool about most things, except me being super ducking sloppy.

1/23/2015 9:31:26 PM

The plan went well.

Accidentally got tuned up on some blantons bourbon, played guitar hero Metallica like nobody was watching (thank god nobody was), and had a really good time eating and being all round generally worthless.


What single people don't understand is that I, as many married people do, rarely get alone time. I worked the past 2 weeks from 6am to 8pm (work is a bit crazy right now) and my wife has way more time to herself than me. A pro tip to newlyweds is plan some time alone, doesn't have to be an over nighter, but a few hours here and there is healthy since most people forget to take care of their own mental health. My mental health apparently is rocking out and drinking, who knew.

[Edited on January 23, 2015 at 9:51 PM. Reason : Oh, and fuck you, that's why!]

1/23/2015 9:48:03 PM

Not sure how to take this one, but I think "having very little time to oneself" is a definite minus. How about not marrying someone needy? Structure sucks.

1/23/2015 10:08:47 PM

and LOL at Bobbydigital's post.

1/23/2015 10:13:04 PM

Better cooking, all you food snobs?

1/27/2015 7:38:35 PM

haha

2/10

[Edited on January 27, 2015 at 8:32 PM. Reason : ,]

1/27/2015 8:28:19 PM

I love it when my wife goes out of town, but for different reasons.

My wife is a total slob, and I'm near insane levels of OCD. When she's gone the first thing I do is clean the house top to bottom. The beds are made, dogs shit is up, floors clean etc.

Then I grill, drink, drive the tractor, drink some more, watch man shows (Gold Rush, Shipping Wars, Porn etc), then drink some more and go to sleep.

Nobody's yelling at the dogs, dirtying the house up, judging me etc. I love it. Usually by day 4-5 I miss her and I'm ready for her to come home. Theennnnnn she comes in the door, tracking in mud, yells at the dogs for jumping and dumps her shit everywhere.

1/27/2015 8:43:39 PM

^^^ On board with that meal. If you're going trashy go all the way. Kudos!

^ You need to have a talk with your wife if she's that terrible/slobby. Who the fuck stands living that way?

1/28/2015 8:12:52 AM

i read that as he has issues controlling compulsive behaviors. except for the yelling at the dogs line.

file photo:

1/28/2015 8:50:17 AM

Quote :

"A pro tip to newlyweds is plan some time alone, doesn't have to be an over nighter, but a few hours here and there is healthy since most people forget to take care of their own mental health."

Luckily for me, I had 3 months of submarine separation twice a year for the first 4 years. Now I'm having to adapt to not getting that much me-time.

1/28/2015 9:09:55 AM

Not gonna lie...that hot dog/mac and cheese looks delicious....and reminds me of my college years. Except I used cut up deli meat instead of hot dogs. Wish I would have used hot dogs instead...

1/28/2015 10:02:40 AM

Quote :

"Not gonna lie...that hot dog/mac and cheese looks delicious"

1/28/2015 10:20:51 AM

truth.

1/28/2015 10:30:44 AM

Even better: those were "Omaha Steaks" all beef hot dogs.
Delicious

1/28/2015 12:22:51 PM

Quote :

"Not gonna lie...that hot dog/mac and cheese looks delicious"

1/28/2015 2:25:50 PM

Hot dogs and mac and cheese. Show that to your wife, and tell us her first response.

A meal only a man would eat.

1/28/2015 2:30:37 PM

^,^^ - y'all got real jobs. man up, that shit looks nasty

1/28/2015 3:49:03 PM

Give me 2 hotdogs, 1 can of baked beans and I have a meal fit for a king.

1/28/2015 3:50:38 PM

If you were a real wild man, you would've opted for the regular Coca Cola drink instead of your pussy whipped Diet Coke

1/28/2015 3:56:08 PM

Vanilla Coke FTW

1/28/2015 3:58:35 PM

Quote :

"Hot dogs and mac and cheese. Show that to your wife, and tell us her first response. "

I love it. But only with Velveeta Shells and Cheese.

1/28/2015 4:10:47 PM