205!

7/13/2011 12:08:55 PM

Guys, I'm Greg Hyer.

7/13/2011 12:09:19 PM

Quote :

"So I was strolling through Target, and I decided to take a walk down the sports aisle to see what was new. I encountered two kids, about 7 and 9 years old, playing basketball on one of the display "children's hoops" that was about 8' off the ground. The 9 year old challenged me to a quick game of one-on-one. Alright, I thought, it'll be fun. Turns out the kid was kind of a prick. He hit one lucky shot, and started shouting, "In YO FACE!" Big mistake. On the next possession, I body checked him onto the ground, and I then soared majestically into the sky, and tomahawk-jammed all over him. Towering over the young chap, I leaned down over him and whispered, "How you like me now?" Then I bought a videogame and a soda, because I'm an adult and have money."

7/13/2011 6:44:26 PM

confess to me

your pain is my pain

your joy is my joy

your sexual escapades goes in my spank bank for all time

7/13/2011 6:53:34 PM

someone please send me a confession

make it my bedtime story so i can fall asleep

7/13/2011 11:30:55 PM

^^^ I don't know if that was real or not, but it made me lol nonetheless. So thanks.

7/13/2011 11:42:42 PM

Quote :

"When I was a kid (12 or 13), I beat off in the third row of the family minivan on a cross country road trip while covered with a blanket and pretending to be asleep. I can't remember what I did with the jizz. The rest of the family was in the van. They either didn't notice or acted like they didn't notice. I can't believe I did that shit. Gross."

Lol, at least you didn't get caught.

7/14/2011 12:19:49 AM

Quote :

"Once when I was home for the holidays visiting family, I stayed in my old room from high school. One day, I was in the room, as a 25 year old adult, and my mom began to walk in on me and immediately closed the door shut. She thought I was masturbating. I wasn't. I was watching Cool Runnings. She then started asking me whatever it was that she wanted to ask me on the other side of the door, pretending like she hadn't just "caught me" committing mass spermicide. I then had supper later that evening with her, and I could sense her discomfort at the dinner table. Of course, I couldn't just say, "Hey ma, relax, I wasn't giving the pink Mustang a spit shine" because that would start a conversation that I wouldn't want to have. So I just ate the meatloaf, letting her think that she walked in on her grown-ass son knuckle shuffling on the ol' piss pump. It's a real bummer too, because now I have to live with the shame of knowing my mom thinks she saw me on a big date with Mrs. Palmer and her five slut daughters without the satisfaction of actually having had the orgasm. "

awkward.

7/14/2011 7:42:06 AM

tomahawk jam made my morning

7/14/2011 7:47:32 AM

i'd take a confession yo

7/14/2011 10:35:58 AM

^^^euphemism overload

7/14/2011 10:38:19 AM

Quote :

"I found out yesterday that someone who was an asshole to me in college applied for a job with my company. They have apparently made it through the first part of the interview process and even bragged about it on facebook. So, I had a friend (who is a cop) call the hiring manager and ask questions about this person, how seriously they are considering them, how well they know their background, etc. All in the wrong kind of way. So who is the asshole now?"

7/15/2011 1:58:48 PM

That is some shady shit. Whoever that is, I hope you get hit by a car and shit.

7/15/2011 2:00:27 PM

^^^ agreed \]

7/15/2011 2:01:18 PM

^^^ok so that made me laugh.

[Edited on July 15, 2011 at 2:02 PM. Reason : ^]

7/15/2011 2:01:42 PM

also fuck your cop friend i hope he dies

kill all police

7/15/2011 2:02:35 PM

whaddup tdub!!

Quote :

"I masturbate only to big beautiful women, its my latest fetish. With these women I don't just look at their bodies and think about how sexually appealing they are (there is some of that) but the eroticism is derived from thinking about their sexual personality and how good they would be in the sack. I imagine ever bigger woman is secretly a tiger in the sack and doesn't lay there like a wet blanket the way many skin and bones women do. "

didn't even expect a confession in my inbox! i love it!

7/16/2011 1:58:13 AM

Quote :

"So, I really hate it when someone calls me "boy." Fuckin' can't stand it. Makes my blood boil. Really fuckin' gets my goat. If an older man calls me "boy" in a condescending tone, I lose my shit. I am sans shit for the rest of the day when that happens. Well, one time, I was walking through a Food Lion parking lot, and I was reading over the notes one of my professors put on one of my papers I had just gotten back. I didn't realize it, and I bumped into a man in his 30s pushing his cart back to his car. Before I could even apologize, he looked at me, and said, "What's the matter BOY, ain't you got no fuckin' manners? BOY, you better pay attention next time. It's bad enough your people think you can come here illegally." It's like pushing a light switch. I didn't even think about it, I just cold-cocked him right there in the parking lot. Knocked him right out. I was fuming. In my anger, I took his wallet. I didn't take his credit cards or money, I just wanted his wallet. About a week later, I realized how wrong it was that I did that. I still had the guys wallet, and his drivers license, so I went to his apartment so I could drop-off his wallet and leave. Right as I walked up to his house, he opened the door (I guess he saw me walking up). He opened the door, and said, "You got a lot of nerve. Unless you're hear to trim the hedges, I suggest you leave, BOY" Instantly, my shame turned into rage, and I knocked him out again, right on the steps of his front door. Fuck that guy."

7/17/2011 2:12:31 AM

confessions, ill take em

7/17/2011 2:37:00 AM

Quote :

"I have been having dreams about an acquaintance of mine more and more in the last month or so. We used to live together (just roommates and only briefly), we now work for the same company (but I haven't actually seen or talked to her in months) and we did a fair bit of flirting / casual going out before I met my wife. Is there any meaning to this? The dreams range from very innocent friendly encounters to graphic sexual escapades. What to do? I've never had dreams like this about the same person over and over again, its a little creepy. If i happen to see her around town i don't think i could have a normal conversation. and sure as shit not telling the wifey about this"

7/17/2011 11:14:44 AM

Dreaming about someone that you don't know all that well could mean that there are some parts of your life that you need to know better...

However, if this is someone that you are infatuated with then the dreams are nothing more than your brain saying that you have a crush on them.

7/17/2011 11:24:19 AM

someone confess to me....

7/17/2011 11:58:00 AM

someone sounds like they are full of shit in this thread

7/17/2011 6:58:02 PM

an update to my string of confessions re: person cheating with friend's spouse

Quote :

"Alright so me and my friends wife are still seeing each other or whatever people would like to call it. In order to allude suspicion we have started doing habitat together a few Saturday's a month. Essentially, we invite our spouses and if they don't want to go we go some place and have fun. If they come for the first half we say we want to stay the second half and then leave around 2 to do the do and some times our spouses come and we both work all day. Right now things are working out very nicely and the sex is very hot. We are very open and share videos and fantasies that we find exciting. Some times its met with a laugh and a no way and other times its met with the other admitting they have wanted to try that for a long time. We had a long talk about how it is effecting our relationships with our spouses and both of us agree that arguments and general disagreements are at a long time low. This really seems to be working out and I am glad both of us can manage this so casually."

7/17/2011 7:28:28 PM

So the boy confession is probably fake but I laughed sooooo loud at it anyway

7/17/2011 7:58:19 PM

Why not just share with your spouses?

7/17/2011 8:00:16 PM

yea most people aren't okay with that.

7/17/2011 8:06:12 PM

Cheating is a symptom, not a problem, and it should be discussed.

7/17/2011 8:07:48 PM

Quote :

"I have stopped up 6 toilets with my record sized poops in the past three weeks. "

7/17/2011 8:14:19 PM

Quote :

"I'm willing to bet that stategrad is an alias for solinari. both are annoying in the same way "

Quote :

"i met up a couple on friday night for a 3some. "

[Edited on July 17, 2011 at 8:36 PM. Reason : oh lala]

Quote :

"I have had several one night stands recently. I have always been very good at not getting emotionally connected with any of the guys, mostly by not getting their names (I give them all nicknames). Then if I ever see them out again I act like I don't remember who they are. I also do my best to hook up with guys that are completely out of my league so that it's easier for me to keep it completely physical. However, my most recent was very different. It was someone who I had met several times, but this particular night was the first night we had ever hung out, he and I have a mutual friend. He was very nice to me, actually did things for me. Treated me like a human in a way. (Most of the time I treat the guys like crap and I will generally leave as soon as they fall asleep so I don't have to see them anymore). But this time I actually stayed all night with him, the next morning, he was still incredibly nice, even wanted to cuddle. When I left he wanted a hug. He didn't tell our mutual friend anything that we had done, but instead said he would want to hang out with me again. I don't know how to handle this, I actually enjoyed the time he and I spent together, and I was completely surprised by his actions and words. I have a serious crush on him and now I'm afraid I won't know how to act around him next time I see him. Unlike every other one nighter I have had, I am actually looking forward to the next time I get to see him. I'm also sure it will very much hurt my feelings if he acts indiferent to me next time we see each other. "

[Edited on July 17, 2011 at 8:52 PM. Reason : and another.]

7/17/2011 8:32:10 PM

i need a confession. i'm really good at it. you confess, i post.

7/17/2011 8:56:27 PM

I'll take a confession!

7/17/2011 10:05:03 PM

Quote :

" pisses me off to no end that people believe that they can use our Bill of Rights "Freedom of Speech" to say whatever the hell they want, even if it tramples upon the rights and liberties of other people. This isn't what freedom of speech is for and it appalls me that there are so many uneducated people who take this freedom for granted and exploit it outside it's original intended use. "

7/17/2011 10:55:29 PM

seems like that person just doesnt understand free speech

in fact freedom of speech generally does NOT allow your rights and liberties to be trampled upon, hence libel/slander laws, etc. your rights extend until you begin taking away someone else's rights.

there is no right to not be offended

[Edited on July 17, 2011 at 11:30 PM. Reason : also, that isnt really a confession]

[Edited on July 17, 2011 at 11:30 PM. Reason : also, i want a confession ]

7/17/2011 11:30:03 PM

Quote :

"I am embarassed to tell my friends who are all married or engaged or in a serious relationship how lonely I really do feel. But at the same time it pisses me off so much that they have never tried to set me up with anyone, when I have set so many of them up "

7/17/2011 11:33:38 PM

Quote :

"I have a lady friend over. She's hot. But we just met. I have to fart. I think I'm going to, then I'll just blame it on the dog. "

let it go, if she leaves, it was never meant to be

7/17/2011 11:35:19 PM

Quote :

"My bf keeps accidentally referring to me as his wife. Makes me think something must be wrong with him. That's weird for a guy, right? "

7/18/2011 12:19:09 AM

Quote :

"hey, i confessed a while ago with this: last night i went out in my hometown with some friends, met a friend-of-a-friend, attractive and similar interests. ended up flirting/drinking/dancing with him for the better part of three hours. our group moved to another bar where a i ran into a guy from middle school-high school (who i had a teeeny tiny crush on and have been chatting back and forth with him for a while but we've never met up). immediately ditched the guy i'd been hanging out with all night and made out with my old friend. baahahahaha, now i feel like a jerk but whaaaatever now i have a followup confession: went to see this friend last night and had the most satisfying sex i've had in more than two and a half years... i enjoyed the conversation too aaand we've already made plans to get together in the future (i'm kinda diggin' the 2hr distance for a number of reasons) "

7/18/2011 4:03:36 AM

Quote :

"i really like army guys for some reason...bdu's turn me on"

7/18/2011 8:37:40 AM

Quote :

"My bf keeps accidentally referring to me as his wife."

Your boyfriend is married, and you are the ho.

7/18/2011 8:43:02 AM

Quote :

"So I'm going out with this girl this weekend that I just met, and I don't really know anything about her. So I put her name into the 'ole google machine, and her name popped up on a college message board in a thread titled "biggest sluts on campus." DAMN! SLUTS! I'm excited "

7/18/2011 9:13:53 AM

Quote :

"My wife's complaining is really starting to distance me from her. For the past three years of our relationship I have done all the cooking and most of the dishes (by hand) and general house cleaning. Recently, I got a promotion that is a really good step for us and requires me to work 70 hours a week and some saturdays for about 18 months, which has resulted in my wife now doing the cooking, cleaning and dishes (by dishwasher). She only cooks 3 nights a week and rarely makes it to doing laundry but complains endlessly about how busy she is and how hard all this responsibility is for her. She only works 3 miles from home and for only 35 hours a week (half days on Fridays). It is so frustrating that she feels overwhelmed by managing what I did over the past three years, even though she works less and gets more sleep. This weekend we dog sat and that added responsibility pushed her emotionally over the top, even though we equally bared the walking and feeding. Given the disparity in our situations its difficult for me to have any empathy for her and I want to tell her to just suck it up. If she can't handle this I don't think she can handle kids, and I really want kids. "

I have two pieces of advice:

1) See a marriage counselor ASAP. There's probably something deeper going on ... and a counselor can help you get to the root at it and objectively look at your options for how to improve the situation.
2) Consider hiring a housecleaning service once a week or once every other week. It's $50 to $100 bucks and it's WELL worth it if it would improve your marriage and take some of the stress off your wife. While it may seem silly to pay for something you could do yourself, it may help. If you live in Wake County, Merry Maids is offering a promotion: http://www.merrymaidsofwakecounty.com/promotions.html

7/18/2011 9:48:10 AM

Quote :

"I just read that confession about the guy working 70+ hours a week plus saturdays, and realized that I loved my fiance way too much to ever spend that much time at work, regardless of the financial incentive... even if it was "short-term." Nobody deserves to have their SO's job come before them, and I'd rather be poor and happy than successful and miserable. I realize that most people will disagree with that, but many of them are so dysfunctional themselves that it really doesn't bother me. I'm glad I read things like that, so I know not to make his mistake when I'm in those shoes in the coming year. "

7/18/2011 10:10:00 AM

Quote :

"this one is to post regarding the response to my confession: "Nobody deserves to have their SO's job come before them" Just because I work a lot doesn't mean that my job comes before them. I get up to work early when she is asleep and I haven't as so much as been late for dinner. I'm with my wife from at least 7PM until bed time (11PM) every week night and then every weekend from 5PM Saturday Until Sunday bed time. My time at home is spent watching the bachelorette, america's next top model and a variety of other shows that I rather not mention because I want her to enjoy our mutual time together. The accusation that I have put my job before my SO couldn't be further from the truth. "

[Edited on July 18, 2011 at 10:43 AM. Reason : s]

7/18/2011 10:42:46 AM

^^^ in my "advice" thread, i had a male who PMed me with a similar problem that he was experiencing with his girlfriend. he did a good bulk of the work around the house and she was complaining he wasn't doing enough. i think my response was, "she'll never be happy no matter what you do."

now this is coming from someone who does a bulk of the housework and contributes almost 50% to the bills even though i make less than my SO. not every couple is the same and you have to find what works. do i get annoyed sometimes and wish i had more help around the house? hells yes, i am human, who wouldn't like to have a maid come in and clean or have someone offer to take care of the vacuuming for me on a regular basis.

i agree with Lucy, yall need to seek out some counselors and get this shit banged out otherwise yall will be basing your relationship off of chore charts and who did whats. you sound like a good husband and has made an effort to help out around the house. if the amount of hours you have to work is temporary and will advance your career NOW before you have kids and it's something you discussed with your wife and you both agreed would be a great opportunity, then she has absolutely no reason to not to step up to the plate and put in her share around the house.

[Edited on July 18, 2011 at 11:26 AM. Reason : edit ]

7/18/2011 11:25:52 AM

Quote :

"When I was about 10 years old, my grandparents gave me a big stuffed animal. One night I started feeling horny and acted like I was having sex with the stuffed animal. I was still fully clothed and everything, just dry humping. About that time my brother walks into the room and catches me. I tried playing it off and started just petting the stuffed animal. He asked me a question and then turned around to leave. I thought I was in the clear, but before he walked completely out he told me to stop pretending to have sex with stuffeded animals. "

lol

7/18/2011 6:17:14 PM

Quote :

"Last night, I held my girlfriend while she slept, and I realized as I watched her that without a doubt this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. "

Aww. Someone's going to be posting in the engagement ring thread...

7/18/2011 7:33:04 PM

i am jealous of that

7/18/2011 7:55:52 PM

Quote :

" I could literally go for hours without stopping. And sometimes I have a hard time stopping because it always feels good! I don't do it often but when I do it's like a day long sesh. over and over and over and over again and again!! "

7/19/2011 1:11:30 AM

hey

me want confessions

7/19/2011 1:13:02 AM