210

8/12/2011 12:09:09 AM

Quote :

"Between her smarts, looks, and her cooking abilities, I have one hell of a crush on Samwise16. "

8/12/2011 12:52:23 AM

I wish there were a blushing smiley

8/12/2011 12:56:39 AM

message me now and i'll love you forever. i'm being abandoned by the usual suspects.

8/12/2011 12:58:55 AM

Quote :

"Yesterday I saved my wife's life. Of course, leave it to both my mother-in-law and father-in-law to claim all the glory without giving me an ounce of credit. They always fight me for their daughter's attention and this about set me off. Now isn't the time to battle over semantics so I plan on telling her the truth at some point in the future once this situation calms down. For now, I'm just uber & and that she's okay."

8/12/2011 8:41:27 AM

i woke up to:

Quote :

"A friend of mine growing up had a sister who was a few years younger than us...when we would play together as kids, she was always kind of an annoying tag-along. By the time we were teenagers, I could tell that she kinda had a crush on me, and with the advent of Facebook and us getting back in touch a few years ago, it was pretty apparent that it had persisted ever since. I never really gave her the time, because she was my friend's little sister, she was just really boring and not my type, she was kind of a goodie-goodie, and she was good friends with another girl we grew up with that I really had the hots for (until she gained a bunch of weight later on), and I didn't want to screw up my chances there. Well, about a year ago, I figured what the hell...this had gone on too long and I was going to resolve it, hopefully by sleeping with her. She'd kinda hinted at coming down to my house and spending a few days, and just generally wouldn't leave me alone, and when I extended the invitation to come down, it wasn't long before she made the 5.5 hour drive. so she gets to my house, and we're kinda hanging out, and I'm trying to feign interest in all the boring shit she's talking about, and mostly thinking "I can't wait to bury my face into those glorious globes of tit that you have been blessed with since I last saw you as a teenager." Bedtime finally comes, and within about 10 seconds of us getting into bed, we're fooling around. Off comes the t-shirt she had just put on to sleep in, off comes her bra, and she's straddling me with those spectacular boobs hovering over my face. I thought, "you're still a totally lame goodie-goodie, but even girls like you will do things like this occasionally, and God bless you for it." Before much longer, I'm naked, and I'm about to remove her sweatpants, which was the last piece of clothing to stand between me and what should have been done in a previous decade. I start to slide them down, and she stops me and says "I have to tell you something, first." I think, "Oh dammit, there is no way this is going to be good news." It wasn't. She said "A while back, a guy I was dating...gave me something." I'm thinking "Oh no, she has herpes...or worse yet, the HIV." I ask her what that something was, and sure enough, "He gave me herpes. Everything should be OK if we use condoms, since I'm not having a breakout or anything." I'm like "Ohhh, no. I'm sorry, but I can't do that. No way. I'm so sorry for you, but there's no way I can take that chance." So at this point, she's pretty clearly holding back tears. I felt so bad for her, but there's nothing I can do or say, of course. ...but I probably could have not done what I did next. Being a guy and all, sometimes I can't help but do what my dick commands me to. I was kinda blue-balled by the situation, and she had gotten her emotions back together by then, so I laid my cock between those huge breasts of hers and thrusted away, all the way until I came all over her face, all over her chest, all over the pillow beside her head, in her hair, you name it. She gave a little giggle as I hopped up to grab her a towel, so maybe she didn't feel too used or degraded, but I felt like kind of an asshole. (but an asshole who's cock wasn't about to explode anymore) The next day, we went out and got lunch at a pretty decent restaurant, and went to a few cool places in town. She still wanted to hang all over me, and I was just thinking "This is terrible, I can't wait for you to go home, I would rather listen to a white noise generator than have a conversation with you, because it would be more interesting." She left to go back home that evening. At least now I can sign on to Facebook without her instantly sending me a chat message."

8/12/2011 9:05:51 AM

I can has confessions on my day off?

8/12/2011 10:30:52 AM

Eww herpes At least she was honest with you.

8/12/2011 10:51:39 AM

Quote :

""Be careful" said the first text message. " 'adda boy" said the second. I woke up to those two text messages from my parents, who never text me. Completely confused, I tried to figure out why both of my parents would resort to texting me in the morning. So, after a little investigating, I looked at my call log on my mobile, only to see that I called my parents last night at around 12:30 and was on the phone for approximately 15 minutes. Of course, I didn't mean to call my parents, and it was then that I realized that I accidentally rolled over my celly and hit the re-dial button last night whilst plowing some floozy I had just met outside of a Taco Bell. "

8/12/2011 9:38:44 PM

^ i feel like it's fake but it's still funny

8/12/2011 9:47:02 PM

confess to me please

make it bad

8/13/2011 12:03:20 AM

Quote :

"I used to have a serious problem with crystal meth in college. Now, years later, I worry that the sleep problems I have now stem from the heavy stimulant abuse years prior. "

i watched a doc on meth this week, stuff is ROUGH, gg getting off of it, hope you stay off buddy

8/13/2011 12:23:29 AM

yeah, i don't have an addictive personality when it comes to drugs and stuff, but I have used prescribed pharmaceutical amphetamine...I can see how someone could get hooked on it pretty easily.

8/13/2011 12:26:21 AM

^just when I was thinking of taking something to make me sleep

yeah I totally have an addictive personality...I'm lucky I don't have the bank account to match lol

8/13/2011 12:27:52 AM

I want to hear more about the dude who saved his wife's life. Like what happened?

8/13/2011 12:27:57 AM

Quote :

"Just after I graduated college, I spent a couple of months banging a stripper from Thee Dollhouse. On the one occasion we actually went somewhere instead of just hanging around the apartment and banging, it was to a movie at the Crossroads 20 in Cary. I don't even remember what movie it was, but I do remember that about halfway through, she pulled out my junk and started blowing me in the theater. At exactly the worst time possible, she took her mouth off of it and looked up at me, and I came all over her face and hair. In the theater. That was pretty much the end of our involvement. Not long after that, a couple of my friends ended up boning her. Then, another one of our friends married her. "

[Edited on August 13, 2011 at 1:12 AM. Reason : strippers at it again]

8/13/2011 12:59:08 AM

Quote :

"So I'm completely smitten with one girl who I fucked things up with bad, sexually, in terms of not being able to perform. Now I'm getting messages from my ex, who I know I can bang (even though she's less attractive) because I've done it a thousand times before. I don't want the ex but I feel like a confidence booster in terms of successfully fucking would be helpful, if only because I'm not old enough to be having performance problems yet and feel pretty shitty about it. Meanwhile I'm crazy about the other girl and she says she likes me but we are NOT dating or in any sort of relationship at this point, but I still feel like it would be wrong to bang this other chick."

errrbody confessing about sex to me......GIVE ME MORE

8/13/2011 1:18:13 AM

The truth will set you free, my children.

8/13/2011 1:21:39 AM

MOOOOORE

Quote :

"I have boned a girl and then immediately forgotten her name (like by the time I walked out to my car to go home). I have also boned a girl who I presume must have told me her name at some point, but I couldn't have even told you her first name as I was pounding away on her, and that was done stone-cold sober at my house with a girl who came over to visit because she was friends with my then-roommate"

8/13/2011 1:41:20 AM

Quote :

"the last confession you posted reminded me of this... i had been hanging out with this guy for awhile and even slept over at his place a few times, but nothing beyond kissing had happened. well last time i slept over i decided i wanted to have sex with him. he is really attractive, like 6'5 and super smart, and i really liked him. i was really excited because a few times when we had been making out/cuddling i could feel his penis so i knew it was going to be big, plus i have never hooked up with someone as tall as him, i don't know why but that turned me on. but when the time came he couldn't get it up . it was so weird and awkward. it was rock hard until he went to put the condom on, then it just went away. i knew he was embarrassed and i felt bad but what the hell do you do in that situation? i wasn't sure if it was my fault, if i didn't turn him on, or what. it was weird. so we did not end up having sex, and i didn't hear from him for a few days which was fine, because i felt awkward about the whole situation. but now he has been wanting to hang out again and im not sure if i want to..."

8/13/2011 1:43:49 AM

In response to ^

Quote :

"t's not about the girl's attractiveness. If we're hanging out with you that much, we think you're hot. But a LOT of things come into play at that point, regardless of the image of the male as being an ever-horny robot. Stress kills an erection. Maybe the guy is stressed because he's really into you and wants to perform well so you'll like him. Maybe he's stressed about outside shit. Maybe it's been a while since he's done it and he's not sure if he's still "on his game." Maybe he's intimidated by you for some reason, feels like you're not in his league. Maybe it's some combination of the above or things I haven't even thought of. Maybe the condom freaked him out (not saying you shouldn't use one, but under some circumstances it can negatively affect things). But no guy keeps staying over the night with a girl, let alone keeps getting hard with a girl, if he thinks there's something wrong with her."

8/13/2011 1:59:28 AM

Maybe he actually wants a relationship and not just meaningless sex.

Oh, wait I forgot people don't do that anymore.

8/13/2011 2:01:31 AM

i'll get a boner over a good pizza, so i can get a boner in any situation. that is the modern day measuring stick.

8/13/2011 2:14:45 AM

i love this thread

and baaahahahahahaha ^

8/13/2011 7:52:50 AM

Condoms are finicky motherfuckers

8/13/2011 2:57:44 PM

the thought of WHY I am using a condom is an incredibly large turn off for me. Kids and STD's.

It's best just to go through the motions of putting the condom on, and try to keep from thinking about it much harder than that.

8/13/2011 3:15:05 PM

Quote :

"every girl I've ever slept with has tried to talk me out of wearing a condom. "

8/13/2011 3:27:29 PM

^ ALMOST every girl I've ever slept with has done the same.

[Edited on August 13, 2011 at 3:30 PM. Reason : ]

8/13/2011 3:30:03 PM

oh fuck that - i sure as hell wouldn't

8/13/2011 3:32:33 PM

am i that ugly?

[Edited on August 13, 2011 at 3:33 PM. Reason : ]

8/13/2011 3:33:19 PM

lol

i didn't say i wouldn't sleep with you, i said i wouldn't insist on you not wearing a condom.

8/13/2011 3:35:16 PM

lmao

jackpot

8/13/2011 3:35:26 PM

Quote :

"about the confession of the guy not getting it up with a condom.... I can't either... completely ruins the mood for me and no matter who/what/why/where, me + a rubber = disappointing time. that girl needs to calm the hell down."

8/13/2011 7:24:02 PM

alcohol/drugs/exhaustion can negatively affect sexual performance as well

8/13/2011 7:38:18 PM

i know of more than one guy who loses his boner at the sight of a condom.

OPEN FOR CONFESSION

8/13/2011 7:50:38 PM

Condoms are made from kryptonite.

8/13/2011 8:03:42 PM

are you saying that your penis is the man of steel?

8/13/2011 8:06:42 PM

Sometimes

8/13/2011 8:07:28 PM

Quote :

"its saturday night and im bored out of my mind... i might get high and eat an entire box of teddy grahams "

Yummy! I'm also bored, but I'm eating ice cream.

Quote :

"I'm seriously bored/disinterested with life and have been for a while. Not suicidal by any means, but it's been so damn long since I've been genuinely happy/angry/sad/etc.... /emokid "

I think everyone goes through a period of apathy. Perhaps I should introduce you to the previous confessee and let you entertain one another.

Quote :

"Anyone who is in relatively good health and in their 20s should be able to get a stiff when sober. If they can't, it's because they jerk-off too much, and probably with a bear grip around their tally-wacker. They're just using "stress" as an excuse. If they stop putting their cock in a vice when they beat off, they'd be sound as a pound, and good to go. "

I don't know. When life is handing me lemonades, I don't always feel hot to trot. I can understand having difficulty getting it up, but then again, I masturbate constantly.

[Edited on August 13, 2011 at 8:33 PM. Reason : one more]

8/13/2011 8:14:38 PM

Quote :

"i am dating this foreign girl and it seems she keeps having somewhat valid reasons for us to not have sex. First time was too soon (we only had been out on a date a couple times I was fine with that I respect that) Second was that time of the month (I said I was fine with sex then but she had some confidence issues or something I think) Third was a week after that time of the month and she was deathly afraid of pregnancy scare and wasn't confident in the effectiveness of condoms... We do everything else except for vagina and anal intercourse (which she said she will do but it "feels wierd"). Everything else is going great, we get along and can talk about almost anything I just don't know how to get her over her fear of sex/pregnancy and confidence issues without seeming like all i want from her is sex which apparently is one of the reasons she broke up with her last boyfriend... i really hope that wasnt the only reason she broke up.. and yes i know she has the crazy but all women have the crazy, just with this one is smart, i get along with her, we both seem to be at the same level of relationship (in)experience and she is a great cook. I hope once we do have sex and she gets over her issues she will want it more but I have my doubts... tldr foreign chicks = crazy in a different language. "

It sounds like she's a virgin. If not a virgin, she might as well be. Her issues sound very much like newbie sex issues.

8/13/2011 8:47:42 PM

BEAR

GRIP

MASTERBATOR

8/13/2011 8:53:29 PM

Quote :

"I would do nearly anything if it meant you would be my e-friend. I know I was a jerk in the past and have no clue how to make up for it or if that is even possible, but I'll be damned if I'm not gonna try. "

*lol*

Dork.

8/13/2011 10:29:23 PM

Quote :

"ok so after reading everyone's commentary, i have decided i will give this guy another chance. except i'm probably going to hang out with him a few more times without getting physical just to make sure the connection is there (if that makes any sense). he might be in the "friend zone" now so i'm not sure if the deed will ever be done. i will keep tww updated, haha."

8/14/2011 2:52:42 AM

sunday confessions anyone??

8/14/2011 10:03:48 AM

Any confessions hur?

8/14/2011 12:28:48 PM

taking confessions as well...

8/14/2011 12:29:44 PM

3 confessors standing by.

8/14/2011 12:41:55 PM

Quote :

"i've been in a horrible mood this past week my roommate (who i've lived with for more than 2 years) is getting on my nerves for the very first time... its mostly because she lets her boyfriend treat her like shit and he does it in this round-a-bout way and makes it look like its his humor, when really he is just being a lazy butthole i havent wanted to work out, and have been doing nothing but watching tv and searching the internet i'm afraid i am bored with life and sinking back into depression which i've been working for 7 months to get out of (and was successful for a short period of time). but now the feelings are all too familiar. not sure what to do now. "

I hate people that treat other people like crap then pretend it's all supposed to be funny. It's not funny.

8/14/2011 2:05:18 PM

I'll take some confessions

8/14/2011 2:06:13 PM

whoop whoop

8/14/2011 4:00:45 PM