225

9/23/2011 6:05:07 PM

Quote :

"I work for the DEA. Anyway, one day, we're raiding this house of a known drug-dealer. We bust in, and catch everyone by surprise, and the dude puts his dog on us. We had no choice but to shoot the dog which was sad. Then, the guys wife threw her titties in my hands. It was weird."

9/23/2011 11:52:13 PM

LOL I was thinking about that bit earlier today

9/24/2011 12:21:19 AM

Quote :

"I've had long term relationships in the past. I've gone out on lots of [multiple] dates recently. But right now every time I feel like I might be interested in a girl, she's not; every time a girl is interested in me, I'm just not. I'm getting older now and as cliche and sad as it sounds, I just want to find the person I'm supposed to be with and its just not happening. I'm just tired of waiting for it and every day that goes by I become a little more jaded about dating and girls in general."

9/24/2011 1:41:18 AM

^tots.

9/24/2011 3:37:32 AM

Quote :

"totally intrigued by dropdeadkate from what I've seen, she is totally my type"

9/24/2011 7:30:21 AM

^^^ I think everyone goes through that at some point. Except I guess the people who get married way too young.

9/24/2011 8:11:48 AM

I never went through that.

9/24/2011 9:38:29 AM

I'd PM someone that I can't get any attractive girls to let me stick my cock in them these days, but that's not exactly a secret

9/24/2011 9:41:20 AM

^aaaaaaaaahahahaha

9/24/2011 9:41:47 AM

I admit, it's hilarious

BUT FUCKING FRUSTRATING

9/24/2011 9:46:22 AM

may i suggest beer goggles?

9/24/2011 9:50:00 AM

For some reason they don't work for me

Might need the hot ladies to wear a pair, though. hahaha

9/24/2011 9:52:17 AM

Quote :

"My girlfriend is taking BLET and got her utility belt and handcuffs and all that issued yesterday. Last night was an awesome night "

What the fuck is BLET?

9/24/2011 9:52:28 AM

law enforcement training

9/24/2011 9:52:51 AM

^^ niiiiiiiiiiiiiice

and beer goggles have led to some pretty horrible life choices for me. fml

9/24/2011 9:54:44 AM

I guess I should consider myself lucky. I had a friend who would get a few drinks in him and start hitting on the ugliest girls I've ever seen and he honestly thought they were beautiful. Hey, I'm sure they had great personalities, but come on.

9/24/2011 9:56:27 AM

to put it all in perspective, some of the ugliest dudes are the best in bed.

idk how that works out exactly. could have had something to do with how everyone in england is fuck ugly to begin with. oh, and if it happens in another country IT DOESN'T COUNT RIGHT?

9/24/2011 9:58:06 AM

It only counts if you tell other people about it... oh wait

9/24/2011 9:59:44 AM

9/24/2011 10:00:13 AM

Quote :

"to put it all in perspective, some of the ugliest dudes are the best in bed."

jackpot

+1 for me

9/24/2011 10:09:13 AM

SEND ME CONFESSIONS

WORK BORES ME

9/24/2011 10:17:23 AM

Quote :

" could have had something to do with how everyone in england is fuck ugly to begin with."

I went to England when I was 12 and the only hot guy I saw there was my cousin

9/24/2011 10:34:10 AM

hahaha

so, did you bang him?

9/24/2011 10:36:03 AM

I was 12 and he is my cousin!


So of course. :-p

[Edited on September 24, 2011 at 10:46 AM. Reason : i]

9/24/2011 10:37:45 AM

*high five*

9/24/2011 10:39:44 AM

o/

9/24/2011 10:44:10 AM

rofl

9/24/2011 10:45:16 AM

OH HAY COUSIN OF BMEL

9/24/2011 12:20:00 PM

He's cute but what do his teeth look like

9/24/2011 12:40:04 PM

truth

9/24/2011 12:40:49 PM

Bmel we need to know if your cousin brushes his teeth.

9/24/2011 12:41:38 PM

lmao

9/24/2011 12:48:09 PM

Quote :

"I'd probably go balls deep in minkagirl"

9/24/2011 12:51:07 PM

thoughts and words no longer cooperating

[Edited on September 24, 2011 at 12:58 PM. Reason : she is cute though]

9/24/2011 12:57:21 PM

hey send me some confessions. im bored

9/24/2011 5:16:35 PM

taking confessions

Quote :

"not to shit on anyones parade but getting engaged for the second time is probably just as special right? esp if theyve been dating for less than a yr huh"

oh my

[Edited on September 24, 2011 at 7:00 PM. Reason : moar!]

9/24/2011 6:47:55 PM

Also taking confessions and/or naked pics.

9/24/2011 7:00:18 PM

i'm taking confessions and applications.

9/24/2011 9:57:09 PM

I'm waiting with bated breath.

9/25/2011 12:36:17 AM

ummmm ok so i went to ruckus to drink, and now i'm home, and it was a cool night, but i'm seeing triple

9/25/2011 2:04:27 AM

I think you're in the wrong thread. But you might want to just lay down.

9/25/2011 2:05:29 AM

I MIGHT BE.. BUT THIS IS ACTUALLY THE THREAD I MEANT TO POST IN

BUT I'M STILL DRUNK

[Edited on September 25, 2011 at 2:17 AM. Reason : ACTUALLY i meant to post in the other confession thead. so you right.]

9/25/2011 2:16:46 AM

9/25/2011 2:19:47 AM

post

9/25/2011 3:35:04 AM

Quote :

"I totally met marriage potential tonight and that terrifies me to my very core "

Never fear. Marriage is a good thing.

Quote :

"K. So I found this girl. This is after I was in a 6monther with one that didn't work out. Old girl neverdid anything and complained all the time, but naturally was hot anyway new girl is decent. She does lots of cool active shut like cycling, running has a dog. Our dogs get along. Getting her doctorate etc. The thing is. She's a horrible kisser and I find myself spacing out and not being super attracted to her, even tho she looks decent. By horrible kisser I mean stiff lipped with tongue. What is that shit. I texted her letting her know that she is cool but if we want to continue this we're going to have to have an instructional kissing session instead of shitty good night kisses like I've been getting. Of course no text back. Time to find a broad that my chemistry clicks with and it just doesn't look good on paper "

If there isn't chemistry, there isn't chemistry. You can't fix that shit.

9/25/2011 11:01:59 AM

Quote :

"I texted her letting her know that she is cool but if we want to continue this we're going to have to have an instructional kissing session instead of shitty good night kisses like I've been getting."

9/25/2011 11:08:13 AM

Quote :

" I like to think of myself as an ambitious Cupid. Only, instead of a bow and arrow, I carry a safety pin. And instead of striking young lovers, I just walk down the hygiene section of Target and poke holes in the back of condom boxes. Valentine's day is usually my finest hour."

9/26/2011 6:50:20 AM

i forgot to post this:

Quote :

"Sometimes, I like to think about hooking up with DDK and egyeyes. At the same time. "

9/26/2011 9:02:30 AM

i also think of bwning 2 girls at the same time.

from time to time.

9/26/2011 9:07:15 AM