ok its been over an hour and both my fingers are still "bleed through the paper towel and drip on the floor" bleeding


imma gonna die!

4/26/2008 9:49:09 AM

so called 'The Alcoholic Catch'


when you've been drinking, you had/are having a good time
but you're more prone to injury
and if you so happen to cut yourself
the alcohol has thinned your blizzood

4/26/2008 9:52:29 AM

..... last night was fun but really not what i was expecting .

4/26/2008 9:54:18 AM

Quote :

"I feel like dog shit im glad i could help carson "

OH and to follow it up I got THE text this morning:

"Youre an asshole"

4/26/2008 10:14:41 AM

hahaha.... you're rocks... did you get them off finally ?

4/26/2008 10:15:33 AM

why are you bleeding? get in a fight with your coffee maker?

4/26/2008 10:17:00 AM

Quote :

"ahaha.... you're rocks... did you get them off finally ? "

I followed casey's advice exactly and I went from having a girl that wouldn't call me back and brushed me off 100x to fucking her brains out and walking out without saying bye. before then i hadnt even kissed the girl

4/26/2008 10:18:46 AM

bahahahahahahahahhahaha

4/26/2008 10:20:22 AM

Quote :

"girlFromLastNight: so wait, did we fuck schpenxel: oh god schpenxel: lol schpenxel: if i say no will it make you feel better? "

4/26/2008 10:27:44 AM

Quote :

"Youre an asshole"

hahaha...and she'll still do you again....

Quote :

"girlFromLastNight: so wait, did we fuck schpenxel: oh god schpenxel: lol schpenxel: if i say no will it make you feel better? "

haha...she's lying...she knows you did...

i keep telling you people...formalities hide shame very well

4/26/2008 10:30:53 AM

HAHA

she remember that im going to the beer festival today but not that we fucked?

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrright

4/26/2008 10:33:17 AM

yeah....she's definitely lying...


now make up a whole bunch of shit and tell her that she said all those things to you...

4/26/2008 10:34:43 AM

Quote :

"why are you bleeding? get in a fight with your coffee maker?"

it burst in my hands as i was cleaning it

it slipped and knocked the faucet

pwnt

4/26/2008 10:36:43 AM

Yeah I'm about to tell her all kinds of crazy shit just to see what she says

4/26/2008 10:36:43 AM

hahaha....yeah...then she'll say

"OMG...i didn't say that...."

or

"I did NOT do that"

then you can say...how do you know...i thought you didn't remember

4/26/2008 10:38:00 AM

Quote :

"schpenxel: i think half the condo place or whatever it is you live in heard me enjoying katie girl: hahahaha girl: oh dear schpenxel: yeahhh i'll tell you the details some other time girl: haha no no, tell me now"

is that a set'em up or what..

4/26/2008 10:38:25 AM

you guys give me some fucking funny things to tell her, fast

4/26/2008 10:39:29 AM

hahah they always remember when they walk funny.....

4/26/2008 10:40:56 AM

you've never met anyone that was as adamant as she was for assplay the first night

4/26/2008 10:41:04 AM

^ What? What? In the butt? ATM?

4/26/2008 10:42:34 AM

k...gotta go pick the old alcholic lady up from the hotel...

i'll talk to you kids later

4/26/2008 10:43:16 AM

Quote :

"you've never met anyone that was as adamant as she was for assplay the first night "

i tried

she was incredibly against it

lol

[Edited on April 26, 2008 at 10:49 AM. Reason : ps she had a brazillian done last week.. that shit was awesome..shaved doesnt compare]

4/26/2008 10:48:48 AM

she brought the anal beads

ask why she wanted to put plastic sheets on the bed

[Edited on April 26, 2008 at 10:50 AM. Reason : l]

4/26/2008 10:49:20 AM

Quote :

"schpenxel: you kept saying something about plastic sheets and us getting your bed dirty?"

4/26/2008 10:51:55 AM

^^^I've never had any run ins where the girl didn't shave. From my limited experience on t-dub, it seems like there are a lot of state girls that don't...

[Edited on April 26, 2008 at 10:52 AM. Reason : carrot sticks]

4/26/2008 10:51:58 AM

cat<3

4/26/2008 10:52:11 AM

tell her you've never had a squirter before

and are wondering if she just peed on you

4/26/2008 10:53:19 AM

^^^yea, i havent had any like that since like high school before they figured out what was up lol

[Edited on April 26, 2008 at 10:53 AM. Reason : asdf

[Edited on April 26, 2008 at 10:54 AM. Reason : ^HAHAHAHASHAH i'm so doing that, hold on will post]

4/26/2008 10:53:37 AM

^^ LMFAO

[Edited on April 26, 2008 at 10:54 AM. Reason : fuckin' carats]

4/26/2008 10:53:49 AM

Quote :

"schpenxel: you arent usually a squirter are you asdf: no schpenxel: oh, well it was pretty fucking ridiculously wet schpenxel: you better not have pissed on me asdf: um, no asdf: im not a pisser either asdf: ur gonna give me a complex and ill never be able to have sex again schpenxel: ill just get you drunk"

[Edited on April 26, 2008 at 10:56 AM. Reason : asdf]

4/26/2008 10:55:40 AM

4/26/2008 10:57:01 AM

nice

so im guessing you're not trying to get it again

4/26/2008 10:57:07 AM

shit

she'll be begging me for it

assholes finish first

4/26/2008 10:57:39 AM

wtf is happening near Gorman and Avent Ferry?

I can hear all sorts of sirens and things

4/26/2008 10:57:58 AM

i'm laughing my ass off over here

4/26/2008 10:58:39 AM

gg

4/26/2008 10:59:44 AM

^^ Dude we are so gonna have to hit up the bars and pick up some skanks! Fuckin' skanks...

[Edited on April 26, 2008 at 11:00 AM. Reason : Jager Bombs!@]

4/26/2008 10:59:57 AM

i'm coming to raleigh in a few actually

but for the beer festival and a birthday party at uhouse or wtf ever its called now

4/26/2008 11:01:12 AM

<3 Brazillians <3 <3 <3

4/26/2008 11:02:31 AM

I'm in Charlotte until May 16th. There's a bunch of older chicks here. For some reason, they're really easy to pick up.

4/26/2008 11:02:32 AM

there are few things that make me happier than the fact that the bangin' pizza joint the next block down opens at 10 on saturday mornings

4/26/2008 11:02:43 AM

It's really nice to have a fulfilling job for once.

4/26/2008 11:04:00 AM

Quote :

"There's a bunch of older chicks here. For some reason, they're really easy to pick up."

by the time they hit 26ish they drop the bullshit "i dont wanna fuck a random guy and up my numbers some more" thing and figure why the fuck not..i'm old and maybe he'll marry me one day

it's grand.

[Edited on April 26, 2008 at 11:05 AM. Reason : t]

4/26/2008 11:04:26 AM

^ It is pretty epic. I find that 28-31 is the easiest. They never believe that I'm only 21... FTW!

4/26/2008 11:05:39 AM

charlotte women suck though they have no personality....

4/26/2008 11:07:29 AM

Quote :

"asdf: i know you secretly wanna skip raleigh and just come see me Auto response from schpenxel: raleigh for beer festival and jasons last bday party in raleigh"

that bitch wants the nuts bad

ok i'm done talking about her

^^yea, i agree 100%. The problem with me is I look about 16-17 when I shave, like shit when I don't and well..no girls believes that I'm 24

My brother is the opposite.. 21 and everybody thinks he's at least 25. i guess it'll be nice later in life

[Edited on April 26, 2008 at 11:08 AM. Reason : CARROTS]

4/26/2008 11:07:47 AM

^^ I'm not interested in personality. Who wants to talk?

4/26/2008 11:11:02 AM

Quote :

"21 and everybody thinks he's at least 25. i guess it'll be nice later in life"

That's what I hear. Like my mother at my age, I look 4-7 years older than I actually am; now she's 43 and looks maybe 35

Quote :

"Who wants to talk? "

Your mom, for one. That bitch just won't STFU

[Edited on April 26, 2008 at 11:11 AM. Reason : dlfj]

4/26/2008 11:11:29 AM

thats what she said

4/26/2008 11:12:29 AM

2261

Quote :

"Your mom, for one."

[Edited on April 26, 2008 at 11:15 AM. Reason : carrot sticks]

4/26/2008 11:15:07 AM