23

11/21/2010 10:21:09 PM

Dear leftover lasagna,

Just because I don't put a splatter guard on you in the microwave does not mean that you must misbehave like you just did...AND you know I HATE a dirty splatter filled microwave!!

For that I will eat you rather slowly and angrily!

no longer your friend,
Amna

12/10/2010 1:29:22 PM

someone stole the idea from tww

http://www.dearblankpleaseblank.com

12/28/2010 11:56:32 AM

Dear Beeping Smoke Detector,

Why must you always torment me? Just when I think we've put the battery in the right one another starts to beep. How many fucking smoke detectors are in the house anyways?


Sincerely,

Elise

12/28/2010 11:59:07 AM

Dear house,
please clean yourself. I have done enough for you. I am sick of paying your bills.
Can't you be nice to me? I just gave you nice new lighting in the bedroom. Be good, pretty please.

12/28/2010 12:26:49 PM

Dear bed,

I have been fearing you all day today.


Signed,

JTTIREDNCSU

[Edited on December 29, 2010 at 12:42 AM. Reason : j]

12/29/2010 12:42:16 AM

Dear Merlot,

i love you so very much!


sincerely,
Tarun

2/5/2011 10:58:18 PM

Dear popsicles,
I wish you would stop tempting me from way downstairs.
K Thanks!

Lindsey

2/5/2011 11:29:42 PM

Dear popsicles beer,
I wish you would stop tempting me from way downstairs.
K Thanks!

Lindsey Tater

2/5/2011 11:32:15 PM

Dear knees,

Stop acting like you are 40 yrs old and popping all the time. It gets old and kinda hurts. Although, it's pretty cool to annoy people with it as it sounds like a creepy old door closing with crackling noises and then a loud pop when fully extended.

k, bye

2/6/2011 12:38:19 AM

Dear nose,

Why must you hurt and cause my head to hurt. Please don't be screwed up again. I don't want to have to go back to the doctor.

2/6/2011 2:35:02 AM

Deer sleep,

How I do miss thee. I often lay in bed at night wondering what you were up to. I miss the long nights we had together. I miss the weekend mornings we would have together. I miss the refreshing feeling I had after we spent hours together. I often times find myself nodding off at work during the day dreaming of all the time we used to spend together. Please come back. I miss you

Love,

Sleepless in Cary.

2/6/2011 3:48:51 AM

Quote :

"Dear knees, Stop acting like you are 40 yrs old and popping all the time. It gets old and kinda hurts. Although, it's pretty cool to annoy people with it as it sounds like a creepy old door closing with crackling noises and then a loud pop when fully extended. k, bye"

haha my knees have been doing that since i was 18 years old. Stupid football and Osgood-Schlatters disease

2/6/2011 8:54:14 AM

dear ouchy pimple,
please go away. You hurt and are ugly. You are not wanted here.

2/6/2011 9:56:38 AM

Dear Cinnamon Toast Crunch,

Marry me?

Yours forever,

Ribs

4/21/2011 8:15:43 PM

Dear Law & Order: SVU,

Why are you always the only thing on TV?

I am always hooked

Much love,

Betty

[Edited on April 21, 2011 at 9:15 PM. Reason : SVU***]

4/21/2011 9:12:36 PM

dear gpa,

i'm sorry.


love, joie

4/21/2011 9:15:03 PM

Dear Hanes Boxers,
I am sorry,
Really,
Me

4/21/2011 9:27:49 PM

Dear corner of the wall next to the kitchen,

I like my toes and do not want them broken. Please stop sneaking up on me, thanks.

MrsCake

4/21/2011 9:32:00 PM

Dear not quite so funny thread,

4/21/2011 9:33:11 PM

Dear Elliptical,

I am tired tonight, but I promise to ride you soon.

Sorry,
bmel

4/21/2011 9:42:33 PM

Dear Mom's wireless internet,

Please to work for me?

love,
piddlebug

4/21/2011 10:07:38 PM

Dear Pandora,

Why do you keep playing Christmas music on my mix station?

6/16/2011 2:19:22 PM

dear license and other important papers

please to appear soon so that i don't have to turn my apartment upside down

ktnx

6/29/2011 8:30:22 PM

Dear 4th of July weekend,

Hurry the fuck up and get here.

Sincerely,

Ribs

6/29/2011 8:38:55 PM

Dear Thursday,
Please to fly by and feel as if you never happened.
Lindsey

6/29/2011 9:47:25 PM

Dear inanimate objects,
Please keep talking to my physics professor, they make for funny stories in class. Seriously, he went on a rant today about how he talks to inanimate objects but doesn't like it when they talk back.
kthxbai,
yuffie_chan

6/30/2011 4:33:31 PM

Dear internet,

Thank you for finally working again after the big bad lightning disabled you. I was getting a little worried there.

I love you,
egyeyes

6/30/2011 5:18:25 PM

Dear Baby Bjorn sling,

Thank you for allowing me to "hold" my baby close, but still have the use of my hands. Also, thank you 1000x over for calming down our acid reflux-y baby. Poor baby

~LK

8/18/2011 8:51:17 AM

6/2/2012 7:22:39 PM

dear malbec,

come to mama.

your biggest fan,
lk





dear boat,

i take back everything i said. i'd rather have him working on you in the garage than two states away.

apologies,
lk

PS i look forward to tubing

6/2/2012 7:25:15 PM

Dear ice cream,
Shut the fuck up, i hear you in the freezer. I'll get to you shortly. I'm with Ms. Cabernet Sauvignon at the moment.

-Slaptit

6/2/2012 8:04:26 PM

dear ammunition, gunpowder, primers, propane, chemicals, and everything else the moving company will not move,

please pack yourself.

sincerely,
nrr

6/2/2012 8:59:11 PM

Dear Ungraded Papers,

Fuck you.

Yours,
Byrn Stuff

6/3/2012 2:41:26 PM

dear load of dishes,

go do yourself.

cheers,

GJ

6/3/2012 2:51:01 PM

Dear Resumes,

Seek and destroy. I've done all I can with you to make you as presentable as I can. The rest is up to you. Please, please do your job.

I don't want to live in my car, thx.

Me

6/3/2012 2:57:12 PM

Dear gut,

Please cease and desist your cravings for hot and spicy pork skins.

Fuck you,

hey now

6/3/2012 6:23:01 PM

Dear Penis,

Quit overriding my thinking.

Best,
Brain

6/3/2012 6:24:40 PM

Dear thread,

I kind of sort of remember you.... Reminds me, it's time for new socks.

6/3/2012 6:41:07 PM

Dear 1999,

please take your beanie babies back.

6/4/2012 5:39:35 PM

Dear tiki torches,

I can't wait to drink margaritas by the glow of your flickering flame.

Til then,
LK

6/4/2012 9:14:45 PM

Dear Rashy Blisters on My Feet,

You make my feet itch and every
step hurt. I really would like for you
to go away. While I am happy not to
have to get up to go to see the
trainer in the morning, it's just not worth
it. And now I feel extra guilty about
having Chinese for dinner.

You suck,

Erica

6/4/2012 9:35:28 PM

dear technology,

you fucking suck. i can't do my job because the database is down and adobe flash keeps crashing while i'm trying to watch the olympics

goddammitalltohell

8/2/2012 11:41:49 AM

Dear spot we found on Leahuff Island, which is only accessible by Justin's boat:

Word.

Your newest fan,
LK

8/2/2012 12:23:30 PM

Dear Ankle,

Please stop getting swollen cause of the stupid issue with my shin. I'd like to be able to continue training for my tri.



kthnx

9/1/2012 7:09:55 PM

dear boat,

i really miss you. i want to sit on you and catch fish. i know you've got to be tired of seeing the other boats around you getting attention, but i've got this stupid job thing. i'm sorry. we'll spend some quality time together soon.

love,

nrr

10/24/2012 8:23:25 AM