Quote :

"God is stealing his confessions from Something Awful. Super lame. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1650173&userid=56444"

11/11/2009 11:23:09 PM

Quote :

"when i was 16 junior in HS i was semi-regularly fucking a 13 y.o. seventh grader. she had big tits and a right hairy bush, but i still felt like a complete loser and tried to hide it from everyone. "

11/11/2009 11:23:37 PM

tl;dr

11/11/2009 11:23:39 PM

i was beginning to wonder how we had so many married people that were cheating

11/11/2009 11:23:53 PM

^^^ nice

[Edited on November 11, 2009 at 11:24 PM. Reason : .]

11/11/2009 11:24:22 PM

I just wanted to muddy the waters a bit.

About half of what I've posted was actually PMed to me by someone on these forums. Now you get to figure out what was real and what wasn't!

It's not as obvious as you might think.

11/11/2009 11:24:39 PM

That invovles effort

11/11/2009 11:25:25 PM

confess to me people

11/11/2009 11:26:14 PM

Quote :

"I fucked a girl on my younger sister's cheerleading squad when they had a slumber party one night. She was in uniform."

11/11/2009 11:26:23 PM

^^^yeah fuck effort

[Edited on November 11, 2009 at 11:26 PM. Reason : too lazy to think right now]

11/11/2009 11:26:23 PM

Quote :

"I'm nervous about going back to school and finishing my degree, because i dont want to be the old person in class."

11/11/2009 11:26:28 PM

Quote :

"I'm in love with joe_schmoe. i masturbate while fantasizing about him licking my pussy"

11/11/2009 11:26:56 PM

Quote :

"In a 24 hour period, I've done an entire ounce of cocaine... by myself... and on more than one occasion."

11/11/2009 11:27:17 PM

Wouldn't that ^^ say "you" instead of your name

[Edited on November 11, 2009 at 11:28 PM. Reason : ^]

11/11/2009 11:27:44 PM

From a girl:

Quote :

"My favorite kind of porn has a lot of kissing, going down on the girl and watching the girl orgasm during sex. "

11/11/2009 11:28:19 PM

^^^that person needs to find another dealer.

[Edited on November 11, 2009 at 11:29 PM. Reason : .]

11/11/2009 11:29:24 PM

Quote :

"Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me, because I am a girl and have never cared about my future wedding day. "

11/11/2009 11:29:43 PM

TELL ME YOUR SECRETS please

11/11/2009 11:31:35 PM

Quote :

"zorthage is a dumb faggot who spoils everything"

awwww

11/11/2009 11:32:28 PM

Quote :

"last week when this girl was friends with and I were at the Nordstrom at Southpoint mall, she was going to try on underwear in the women's dept. I was just outside waiting for her, and she called for me. I slowly wandered back there to find her dressing room. She cracked it open and said, "Hey, come in here for a second." I walked in, and she closed the door. She was standing there in a pair of transparent lace matching bra and panties. I was dumbstruck because I mean we had sexual tension but she had never been like this before. I muttered, "Uh... wow. You look great." "Really?" she smiled. She started grabbing my cock in my jeans, which was obviously already hard from staring at her tits in that lace bra. She went down on me right there in the dressing room, and gave me the greatest fucking head I've had in my life. She let me cum right in her mouth and swallowed it all while washing it down with the Frappuccino I had from Starbucks. After that we drove home and fucked again. I haven't talked to her about that day yet, and I don't know what to say to her."

11/11/2009 11:32:45 PM

Quote :

"I'm enjoying the PM conversation that I'm having right now, and I never thought in a million years I would enjoy talking to this person"

11/11/2009 11:32:54 PM

What is up with the zorthage hate? Hes a great dude

11/11/2009 11:33:27 PM

yea, zorthage seems like a cool dude

11/11/2009 11:34:37 PM

Quote :

"I will often times read things that I type out on tww or on facebook outloud to see how it sounds. "

I do this and still manage to post things that make no sense.

11/11/2009 11:35:23 PM

Quote :

"I can make it to work no matter what. I could be hungover as shit going on almost no sleep but still make it in first thing in the morning. Then when I have class at noon I'll stay in bed and just say fuck it. I've been like this my entire time in college, how pathetic."

Quote :

" I don't know how zorthage married that beast."

11/11/2009 11:35:45 PM

^^^/^^^^

Quote :

"When somebody asks for more confessions and I send one, on more than one occasion I've almost replied with "pm sent" "

Quote :

""^^^that person needs to find another dealer." when you're doing a ball a day, you build up a bit of a tolerance."

[Edited on November 11, 2009 at 11:39 PM. Reason : a]

11/11/2009 11:37:27 PM

Quote :

"i have talked to more new girls while i am sober today than i have in months... it sucks and is awesome at the same time. "

Quote :

"I shot a man in Reno."

11/11/2009 11:38:48 PM

Quote :

"I killed a homeless male prostitute / cokehead for $40. I left his body under a bridge. years later it's still a cold case, with no leads. i'd have to say it's the reason i drink so much. its about the only way i can make the guilt disappear."

11/11/2009 11:39:57 PM

Quote :

"I killed a homeless male prostitute / cokehead for $40. I left his body under a bridge. years later it's still a cold case, with no leads. i'd have to say it's the reason i drink so much. its about the only way i can make the guilt disappear. "

11/11/2009 11:40:23 PM

lol

11/11/2009 11:40:41 PM

Quote :

"I killed a homeless male prostitute / cokehead for $40. I left his body under a bridge. years later it's still a cold case, with no leads. i'd have to say it's the reason i drink so much. its about the only way i can make the guilt disappear. "

11/11/2009 11:41:12 PM

Quote :

"I shot a man in Reno."

i always assumed jc was still alive and posting on tww

11/11/2009 11:41:35 PM

Quote :

""I killed a homeless male prostitute / cokehead for $40. I left his body under a bridge. years later it's still a cold case, with no leads. i'd have to say it's the reason i drink so much. its about the only way i can make the guilt disappear. ""

11/11/2009 11:43:16 PM

Quote :

"I am downloading ALL of the System of a Down I can find. Not a big fan, but I miss my HS best friend who listened to the shit out of them and is currently living 4 states away The result is art history test studying/ROCKING OUT TO PRETTY SILLY MUSIC simultaneously. "

11/11/2009 11:43:40 PM

Quote :

"I stalk begonias on the regular"

11/11/2009 11:45:07 PM

in that case... I'll take my top off

11/11/2009 11:46:23 PM

Quote :

"It amuses me when people wonder why I married ambrosia1231. "

11/11/2009 11:46:28 PM

Quote :

""I killed a homeless male prostitute / cokehead for $40. I left his body under a bridge. years later it's still a cold case, with no leads. i'd have to say it's the reason i drink so much. its about the only way i can make the guilt disappear.""

11/11/2009 11:47:20 PM

Quote :

"I can see begonias right now, and she's not topless"

11/11/2009 11:47:29 PM

Quote :

"I shop for engagement rings and lie to the sales people about my wonderful, imaginary significant other as to not seem so lame"

11/11/2009 11:48:15 PM

lols ITT

11/11/2009 11:48:34 PM

Quote :

"i have nothing interesting to confess to you ITPM "

11/11/2009 11:49:17 PM

^^^^mmkay what about now?

[Edited on November 11, 2009 at 11:50 PM. Reason : .]

11/11/2009 11:50:05 PM

Quote :

"me and my friends are going to try a party them with beach balls with numbers or names on them and if it is a name you have to go meet that person and make them drink or if it is a number you have to drink that number... dont know if it will work but hopefully it will be fun... "

11/11/2009 11:50:29 PM

Quote :

"The best compliment I've ever been given was when a girl undid my pants and took out my cock and said, "Wow, you have a really big cock." Her voice had this almost concerned tone to it, as if this was going to be a hindrance to her. It wasn't."

11/11/2009 11:51:39 PM

Quote :

"i wish i had a more interesting name. it's not fair that god shamgod has a cooler name than me "

11/11/2009 11:53:25 PM

Quote :

"I want to get roofied (under the direct supervision of someone I trust) and have someone tape it - just to see what I would do. "

Quote :

"lesbian scenes are hot, but i can't get off watching one. "

Quote :

"I care way too much what people on the Internet think of me. "

11/11/2009 11:54:24 PM

Quote :

"the first time a girl grabbed my junk i was worried she wouldn't like it."

11/11/2009 11:55:28 PM

Quote :

"I was raped last night but atleast she was hot as fuck "

11/11/2009 11:55:45 PM

set em up

11/11/2009 11:57:11 PM