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fuuuuuuuuuuuu all the rain this morning made me decide not to pack my running gear and just come home to run on my treadmil but now the sun is coming out and I'm going to miss meeting my friends for a run along the perki trail

9/27/2012 2:11:40 PM

I'm tired as bawls

9/27/2012 2:19:36 PM

me too. overslept and came in at 10 am

9/27/2012 2:29:07 PM

AC is out at the office...but my room is still feeling good. The other fuckers with all of their windows and "natural light" are burning up right now. My "cave" is nice and cool.

9/27/2012 2:39:36 PM

I think I just got a booty call on facebook msg from a guy I knew in high school and have maybe seen once or twice since graduation in 2001... I havent spoken to him since november 2011 when I messaged him asking if he was going to the reunion


he called me "honey boo boo" in the message....

9/27/2012 2:50:37 PM

Quote :

"Opera singer grows algae on her face by feeding it with her breath and then the audience eats it"

Strangest headline ever? Perhaps.

9/27/2012 2:59:56 PM

Billy goes running up to his father. "DAAAAADDY! DAAAAADDY!" he whines. "GUESS HOW OLD I AM!"

"I don't know, how old are you, son?"

"I'M SEEEEEVEN! I'M SEEEEEEEEEEVEN!"

"That's great. Now I'm a little busy, so go and tell your grandfather or something."

So Billy goes running off to his grandfather. "GUESS HOW OLD I AAAAAM! GUESS HOW OLD I AAAAAM!" His grandfather gets up from his chair, brings Billy into his room, locks the door, and says, "well, let ol' grandpa have a look, then."

He unbuttons Billy's pants, then forces them to the ground. He harshly grabs the boy's penis, and inspects it closely, then does the same with his testicles, making sure to squeeze hard enough to properly analyze their firmness, but not so hard that Billy might scream uncontrollably and alert the others in the house. After a moment of thought, he instructs Billy to turn around.

His dry, calloused fingers brutally penetrate the boy's sphincter. His yellowed and cracked fingernails mercilessly rip into the raw flesh of the boy's rectum. The dirt on his nails, caked on from months without washing or bathing, is finally carried away into the boy's bloodstream. He clasps a hand over Billy's mouth, and intensifies his probing.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, he removes his hand from the boy's ravaged asshole. He holds up the brownish-crimson mixture of rectal blood and fecal matter, and thoughtfully analyzes the way the light reflects off of the surface. He then holds it to his nose, and inhales deeply, displaying a look of deep satisfaction.

"You, Billy," he exclaims proudly, "are seven years old."

Billy remains sobbing in the fetal position on the floor, the once-white carpet around the lower half of his body stained a vibrant reddish-brown. He manages to choke out the words: "how... how can you tell?"

A subtle smirk crosses the old man's face. "I heard you tell your father."

9/27/2012 3:34:25 PM

what ... the fuck

9/27/2012 3:35:15 PM

9/27/2012 3:36:46 PM

i did not laugh. That is unbelievably crass, insensitive, and psychotic.

YOO IZ A BAD MAN

9/27/2012 3:37:29 PM

Wait, does slave think that's funny? I'm confused.

9/27/2012 3:38:16 PM

if youre confused then some part of you laughed

9/27/2012 3:38:54 PM

wtf I'm not reading that

9/27/2012 3:39:52 PM

I tried ta take it back, boss.

9/27/2012 3:40:08 PM

9/27/2012 3:40:35 PM

he removes his hand from the boy's ravaged asshole. He holds up the brownish-crimson mixture of rectal blood and fecal matter, and thoughtfully analyzes the way the light reflects off of the surface

9/27/2012 3:40:50 PM

9/27/2012 3:42:28 PM

9/27/2012 3:42:40 PM

dont wedding rings go on the right hand?

9/27/2012 3:44:04 PM

nope, left

9/27/2012 3:46:38 PM

sheesh

9/27/2012 3:47:09 PM

i'm just used to my eyes knowing where to look quickly

9/27/2012 3:48:36 PM

ive been looking at the wrong hand

9/27/2012 3:48:59 PM

lol apparently in india you should also check toes....

Quote :

"In some parts of India, Hindus may use a toe ring or bichiya which is worn instead of a ring on a finger"

lol i love wikipedia

9/27/2012 3:56:31 PM

9/27/2012 4:59:37 PM

How do people on House Hunters hate carpet so much? I get those occasions where some idiot has put it in the bathroom or kitchen, but complaining about any carpet being anywhere in the house happens way too often for me to get.

9/27/2012 7:32:05 PM

Because hardwood floors are much, much better.

9/27/2012 7:36:43 PM

What kind of shit pay job gives you less than 12 hours notice to let you know you'll be working out of town all weekend?! Fuck you and your life.

9/27/2012 7:52:05 PM

Stoked I get to watch the browns game on the nfl network, on my couch

9/27/2012 8:02:10 PM

same here! although i may pass out before kickoff at this pace...

9/27/2012 8:15:22 PM

same here! although i may pass out before kickoff at this pace...

9/27/2012 8:15:23 PM

I wonder if the people in saps picture are hindu.

9/27/2012 8:35:13 PM

they look like they're from south america

[Edited on September 27, 2012 at 8:46 PM. Reason : like natives]

9/27/2012 8:45:10 PM

9/27/2012 9:08:26 PM

9/28/2012 12:51:16 AM

it feels like it's a million degrees in here but supposedly it's 65

9/28/2012 12:54:21 AM

your head is so big, your body feels the effects of global warming

9/28/2012 12:59:28 AM

in no conceivable way is that funny

9/28/2012 1:03:09 AM

your head is so big your clothes don't get wet when it rains

9/28/2012 1:07:51 AM

Whatever will I do this weekend?

9/28/2012 1:11:18 AM

zzzzzzz

9/28/2012 5:55:05 AM

I think that was the first time I've slept through the night in months

9/28/2012 6:40:46 AM

Quote :

"An Ohio sheriff's department says a woman has been struck by a pet llama that was trying to greet her and has died."

9/28/2012 8:08:14 AM

picked a good day to work from home - got day one of the Ryder Cup on the tv and a light morning of emails/phone calls

9/28/2012 8:59:41 AM

Quote :

"How do people on House Hunters hate carpet so much? I get those occasions where some idiot has put it in the bathroom or kitchen, but complaining about any carpet being anywhere in the house happens way too often for me to get."

Carpet sucks.

9/28/2012 9:04:26 AM

I might eat my lunch for my breakfast. What a rebel I am.

9/28/2012 9:10:25 AM

^^ This. It's just a giant trap for dust and dander and god knows what else. It doesn't matter how often you vacuum, it never seems to be completely clean. I can't wait to rip out the carpet in our house and replace it with something else.

9/28/2012 9:15:57 AM

I hate carpet in most general living areas (depending on how a house is laid out, a nice quality carpet in a certain room is not bad). No matter how much you clean and vacuum it, it will always harbor dust, dirt, and allergens. And really, who cleans and vacuums their carpet as much as they should? Hardwood, tile, or concrete in the living areas with rugs is the way to go imo. Much less rug/carpet area to clean and it just look so much better, especially if you have an open floor plan.

I have no problem with carpet in bedrooms though, especially if it is a nice quality carpet. We are getting our entire downstairs hardwood in just a few weeks except for one guest bedroom that I decided to leave carpet for a few different reasons. Whenever we do the upstairs, I think I will hardwood the master and the hallway and leave the other rooms carpet.

[Edited on September 28, 2012 at 9:17 AM. Reason : ]

9/28/2012 9:16:29 AM

I'm torn on carpet. I've never had much of an issue with it, and I really like the soft, high quality stuff. But I've been steam cleaning mine lately and I can go over the same area I cleaned a week ago and still get pretty gross post-cleaning water coming out of the thing. Makes me wonder how much ick is really in there.

9/28/2012 9:19:18 AM

If you really like the feel of carpet, then just put a big rug down. I've got a nice shag rug in my living room that is nice to lay down and relax on.

I also like uniformity in the floors throughout the house. So I think it's weird if you're walking on hardwood then go into a carpeted bedroom. With the exception of tile in a bathroom (and possibly a kitchen if it isn't an open floor plan)...then I'm all about hardwood throughout.

[Edited on September 28, 2012 at 9:23 AM. Reason : .]

9/28/2012 9:22:49 AM