Except that doesn't necessarily make one a gentlemen at all.

Quote :

"A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior. "

You can want to do all these dirty things but still be a gentlemen if you control your urges and act socially proper at all times.

7/26/2006 2:30:31 PM

Quote :

"does hanging out with a guy and drinking with him qualify as leading him on?"

yes

7/26/2006 2:59:09 PM

wtf

7/26/2006 3:01:37 PM

No it doesn't.

Please get more girl friends.

7/26/2006 3:30:41 PM

the probability that she is doing something to lead them on is pretty good though, i say this b/c if its more than one guy, it could be there all just one track minded, but i would say chances are you are giving off the vibe. so by her saying all i do is "drink and hang out" it probably means a little more.


And most of the time it seems it is done knowingly for attentions sake, but i guess thats a matter of opinion.

7/26/2006 4:54:14 PM

Girls love attention and feed off it, so I agree with ^.

[Edited on July 26, 2006 at 4:58 PM. Reason : a]

7/26/2006 4:58:06 PM

Quote :

"does hanging out with a guy and drinking with him qualify as leading him on?"

No, unless he is flirting with her blatantly and she is engaging in it as well. Then she would be leading him on if she is single. If she's got a man and is flirting, then that's a bit fucked up.

But just hanging out is not leading someone on.

7/26/2006 5:04:29 PM

ahh but once again... the assumption is that nothing more is going on. i think a quick answer to that question could be found if she would somehow describe her typical behavior towards a guy dominated event. I think by this point guys have pretty much been villified, so maybe now we need some sort of story from someone who has seen you act or behave. b/c i am willing to bet that i was right and that you give off signals naturally.

and the solution to this is simple, stop going to these things alone. when you are far outnumbered it becomes a giant competition, bring friends that even out the balance. that way there is not this constant pressure to hook up with the one and only girl there. who i would go as far as to suggest may unknowingly like the attention and thus continues to pursue these types of gatherings. I also wonder if the girls on here would agree, but would you admit that if put in a situation with a lot of guys "hanging out" if your demeanor doesnt change. I dont mean tell me of course not we are the same always... i mean tell me the truth, b/c i suspect that i am right. if you are to admit it to yourself i am of the opinion that any persons attitude changes in these types of situation, and their actions reflect. SHARE THE WEALTH BRING FRIENDS!!!

7/26/2006 5:36:00 PM

Quote :

"the probability that she is doing something to lead them on is pretty good though, i say this b/c if its more than one guy, it could be there all just one track minded, but i would say chances are you are giving off the vibe. so by her saying all i do is "drink and hang out" it probably means a little more. And most of the time it seems it is done knowingly for attentions sake, but i guess thats a matter of opinion."

I don't think I have ever done it knowingly. I think sometimes girls just enjoy the attention so much that they get giddy and carried away. Some people might describe me as a naturally flirtatious person--with men and women. I'd describe it as being overly friendly; it comes out when I'm uncomfortable or nervous or don't understand my role in a social situation, but it also comes out when I'm just extremely happy and excited (often for no real reason, kind of like I'm manic, but perhaps sometimes it's for the fellas--but am I happy to see the fellas or happy to get attention from the fellas?).

I'm aware of this quality. I distinctly remember the moment that I recognized it. I was eleven or so. It was really hot out, and I was bitching to my friend about how I wanted to go inside. I was in a really bad mood. This dude that I liked walked by and said hey, and it was like somebody flipped a switch. I went from scowling and bitching to saying "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" with a big fat smile.

It's not just for men though. I get excited and super friendly with girls too.

I dunno. If I meet a girl for the first time and we're chatting and she mentions that she loves Bob Seger or hat boxes or whatever, I may tug on her arm excitedly and be like, "OMG, me too!!!" and just start gushing. I do it to guys too, and maybe they perceive it as being an invitation for advances?

[Edited on July 26, 2006 at 5:56 PM. Reason : sss]

7/26/2006 5:36:44 PM

i think your right. In my opinion if i were to notice a girl who went from bitching to then seeing her light up as she talked to me, well i dont know how to take that but as a good sign. Not neccessarily to get laid or anything, but at the very least some interest. then combine that with an all guy situation and drinking.

7/26/2006 5:40:31 PM

sex forum

7/26/2006 5:48:55 PM

I wish the other ladies would talk about themselves. Maybe I should ask them questions and stuff? I'm totally reading all the replies and would love to hear more, ladies!

^So much more than sex (but also trivial in many respects). I still don't know why I titled this thread "SEX QUESTION."

7/26/2006 5:54:17 PM

Ask away!

7/26/2006 6:19:48 PM

shit - i'll answer (and i'm a girl) - p.s. hi lucy

first - your questions that you asked

1) tell them no thanks, usually does the trick. depending on the guy (whether he's one to talk a lot or not) that might evolve into a conversation, but usually just "no thanks" or something similar does the trick
3) i'm horrible at telling when people are attracted to me - soooo I haven't the foggiest on this one
4) Why do girls lie?
6) Yes, I've dealt with it. I'm also of the opinion that "the friend zone" really means "I don't find you attractive" - as long as those words aren't said, I generally operate on the assumption that at some time something could potentially happen, and I try to be super careful to not be flirtatious or lead them on in any way (trying to avoid the situation?)

7/26/2006 6:26:42 PM

^ HAYYYYYYYYY

7/26/2006 6:28:54 PM

^ come to Charlotte and visit I'll give you a ding sometime

7/26/2006 6:30:12 PM

EhSteve said:

"If he actually has romantic feelings for you, maybe he should ask you out on an actual date before trying to get in your pants."

Perhaps he should, but sometimes the gurl just wants the D, and he misses out b/c he angled for something permanent that wasn't there and wasn't going to be there.

Btw, BridgetSPK, keep this in mind: Just because a guy wants to "go deep" doesn't mean he DOESN'T want a friendship. In other words, just because a guy gets a rejection for sex and keeps talking to you doesn't mean he's still digging for it and 1) he's dumb as a stump or 2) not listening because he still sees the chance or 3) translates "no sex" into "try hard and you'll get sex".....

Though he might jump at the chance to hit tha sheets with ya for ANY reason [ 1) you're hot 2) he's breathing 3) you're more attractive than REPULSIVE 4) he's drunk, WHATEVER ], he also might really like you're personality.

You might be so fun or likeable as a person (to communicate with, be around, whatever) that sex might feel a natural turn for him, but he'd still like you to be in his life, even as a friend only, if that's how the cards lay down. That's not to say that he might not try for sex later, even months and perhaps years later, because there could be THOUSANDS of reasons why. Just because he wants to plant it doesn't mean he won't be a great friend for life.

Also, don't take it hard if he's doesn't smile back when you shoot him down. Its natural, and even to be expected some. But if he's putting a guilt trip on you, then its something else. 1) He's not a friend or prospective friend. He just wants to dip it. 2) That lame shit likely worked before, so he's working from experience, and he thinks it might work again, so why not go all in. He might even realize its lame, but if he gets laid out of it, so be it.

Hope this helps or is atleast informative.

[Edited on July 26, 2006 at 6:44 PM. Reason : Final thought]

7/26/2006 6:41:47 PM

Maybe I need to look for jobs in Charlotte. Raleigh is getting old. Plus-- I may be losing my job. The station is making some cuts.

7/26/2006 6:42:05 PM

in the past 2 or 3 weeks i've really wanted to just move to a different city or something

7/26/2006 6:44:22 PM

I tend to get along better with males than females because I grew up with four older brothers. I hate reading stuff saying girls who likes being around guys are attention whores. From my experience, most of my guy friends treat me like one of the boys. They don't fawn over me just because I'm female and hanging out. Find some less horny guy friends Bridget!

7/26/2006 7:36:46 PM

Okay, question for all the ladies:

Do you like or have you ever liked an overtly and "excessively" horny man?

[Edited on July 26, 2006 at 8:13 PM. Reason : aaa]

7/26/2006 8:09:57 PM

Bridget, it sounds like you hang out with too many horndogs. Make new friends, hopefully ones who are close to your intelligence/maturity level.

7/26/2006 8:42:50 PM

im lazy
and girls do this too
usually they're fat/ugly or a combination of the 2

7/26/2006 8:52:09 PM

Quote :

" Do you like or have you ever liked an overtly and "excessively" horny man?"

Yes, more than once
If dated, we never left the house....
If not, we were (intentionally) never alone together unless in public...

I may also add that I've never met a man to say 'ehhh, I'm just not a sex brained kinda person'

7/26/2006 9:30:27 PM

Sex is good

7/26/2006 9:38:29 PM

Quote :

"I tend to get along better with males than females because I grew up with four older brothers. I hate reading stuff saying girls who likes being around guys are attention whores. From my experience, most of my guy friends treat me like one of the boys. They don't fawn over me just because I'm female and hanging out. Find some less horny guy friends Bridget!"

Good Lord.


This is why you shouldn't listen to women.

7/26/2006 9:49:22 PM

Quote :

"Find some less horny guy friends Bridget!""

aka fags

7/26/2006 10:00:08 PM

Google: The Ladder Theory

7/26/2006 10:32:59 PM

^^^^^

have i ever mentioned that you're my future wife?

7/26/2006 10:41:43 PM

yep, the ladder theory pretty much sums it up

7/26/2006 10:41:59 PM

^Meh. I just read it. It wasn't that interesting.

"Women like money. Men like hot chicks. Eventually they settle."

7/26/2006 11:08:22 PM

Just so you know, The ladder theory was written by a short, fat man...
with a short, skinny penis.....
and with No money, was insecure, with No 'game,' and the jealousy of men who scored while he didn't.

He just uses all those things as excuses instead of simply admitting that he sucks.

7/26/2006 11:15:42 PM

I believe that you have to be a friend to a girl before you get to fuck her...unless she's a whore

7/27/2006 12:07:35 AM

You get it.... I'm so proud!

7/27/2006 12:15:05 AM

I thought that was common knowledge.

I mean a wife is a friend.

7/27/2006 12:18:57 AM

^^^ i'd argue that most girls--even those most people would characterize as "good girls"--have had casual sex with someone without being interested in him beyond physical attraction, and that doesn't make them whores.

Whoredom is when that behavior is the default setting, and the rule rather than the exception.


^yeah, should be your best friend, by far. I'll never get married if that's not the case.

[Edited on July 27, 2006 at 12:23 AM. Reason : asdfasdf]

[Edited on July 27, 2006 at 12:24 AM. Reason : asdf]

7/27/2006 12:22:09 AM

that's the amount of leverage you give to the "borderline" whore girls then

[Edited on July 27, 2006 at 12:23 AM. Reason : .]

7/27/2006 12:23:07 AM

@ lucy - you've got a place to crash if you want to line up interviews - you're welcome at any time for however long you want! srsly.

@ bridget - no - i'm generally turned off by that - much prefer a guy who is a gentleman in public and both a gentleman and otherwise when fucking. to be blunt.

7/27/2006 12:24:22 AM

Quote :

"and both a gentleman and otherwise when fucking."

?

I'm not sure that would make any sense even IF it weren't an awkward combination of a poor choice of words.

7/27/2006 12:28:31 AM

how does a gentleman fuck differently than a "non-gentleman"?

Does he say excuse me everytime he has to deep dick?

7/27/2006 12:31:12 AM

this is why i stay away from girls with a ton of guy friends

7/27/2006 12:44:37 AM

now if that ladder theory wasnt complete bullshit.. that was interesting, someone really took the time to write all that stuff out. anyone else read it and can honestly say its not true/true?


honestly now.... not what you instantly think. i am bordering on that was damned insightful....

7/27/2006 2:54:11 AM

No, dude, not insightful at all.

7/27/2006 3:29:03 AM

OK I'm gonna bttt this and agree from experience. But I will also say I brough this on myself.

I've been trying to make more dude friends in the area that live on my side of town, so I've been hanging out with this guy. He knows I'm in a relationship and that I only want to be just friends. I happened to tell him I was in a rough spot with my guy a couple of weeks ago, but never told him it was resolved. (I mean, we're just hang out buddies) Anyways, I take him out to meet some of my friends and when we come back he says that he knows I said I wanted to be just friends but that he likes me.

OK, I just kinda didn't say anything. (And in retrospect, know i should have) So I drop him off and he goes in for a kiss. And I, very politely, just push him back and say "I'm sorry, but I just want to be friends." So now I feel bad, like I didn't give this guy the right impression, when I tried very very hard to do so up front. I dunno.

7/29/2006 5:40:43 PM

Don't feel bad about it, Andrea. Your friend either 1) wanted to try/push his luck or 2) got caught up in the moment.

It's so easy to get caught up in moments. Especially when you feel comfortable with a person. Like, duh, didn't we all see Dawson's Creek? "OMG Joey, you're like my best friend." "OMG Dawson, you're my best friend." "OMG, let's make babies."

It also helps when both friends are sexually repressed. Horniness outweighs genuine attraction sometimes. Or just common decency.

7/29/2006 6:29:49 PM

^^what kind of things do ya'll do when you hang out? go to movies, eat dinner? that kind of stuff?

7/29/2006 7:03:16 PM

Mostly meet at a local bar for a beer. a couple of times we've rented movies and ordered pizza at his place. I'm just now starting to integrate him in to meet some of my larger group of friends.

[Edited on July 29, 2006 at 7:08 PM. Reason : thx lucybot ]

7/29/2006 7:08:03 PM

i think the best way to avoid these types of thing is to not to do this one-to-one hanging with the opposite sex.

7/29/2006 7:19:37 PM

^ agreed...with the stipulation that if the person of the opposite sex is undeniably gay, then it's okay

[Edited on July 29, 2006 at 8:48 PM. Reason : .]

7/29/2006 8:48:02 PM

I don't think that's fair to anyone. I guess the moral of this is that there has to be constant communication and cognizance that what one says in passing can be taken to heart.

7/29/2006 9:21:49 PM