Quote :

"A question ... you people who say to try out bookstores and grocery stores: How do you even approach that situation? The only thing I can see working is something like "hey, I see you're buying frosted flakes. I like frosted flakes. We should have sex ....""

its called being social. if you aren't comfortable with that type of approach, don't even try it, you will come off looking like a total goon/creepo

[Edited on March 12, 2007 at 12:51 AM. Reason : .]

3/12/2007 12:50:40 AM

Will people please quit proposing the internet route. Meeting people by way of the internet is pretty pathetic. I think using myspace or facebook to meet someone by "adding them as a friend" is borderline sad....but dating sites are ridiculous.

3/12/2007 9:42:15 AM

how about on the internet? have you tried that yet?

3/12/2007 9:44:54 AM

Coffee shops, gyms, book stores...

I refuse to date someone that I've met in a bar.

I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, I just know what I am like when I am drunk

[Edited on March 12, 2007 at 10:11 AM. Reason : dfsfsdf]

3/12/2007 10:05:59 AM

people are everywhere


just talk to them.


go down your street

find a store

go in

talk to girl

...

profit.

3/12/2007 10:07:58 AM

Coffee shops
join a business/leads group in the community (or what have you based on your profession)
grocery store
blind dates (get the word out amongst friends)
Book stores (Barnes & Nobles, etc.)
Community service groups (volunteer groups - American Red Cross, etc.)

There are countless was to meet people - getting involved within community activities opens up multitudes of possibilities because you'll be out and about...

3/12/2007 10:15:16 AM

people are everywhere

stop being a pussy.

just talk to them.


go down your street

find a store

go in

talk to girl

...

profit.

3/12/2007 10:18:04 AM

Quote :

"Will people please quit proposing the internet route. Meeting people by way of the internet is pretty pathetic. I think using myspace or facebook to meet someone by "adding them as a friend" is borderline sad....but dating sites are ridiculous. "

This is just stupid. It's just another way to meet people. Every girl I've met from online I would have NEVER met through traditional channels, and they have all been good looking and really damn cool.

For those of us who work 50-80 hours a week and have side projects and other responsibilities, meeting quality people to go out with is definitely tougher to do. I still go out and meet the occasional girl the traditional route, but the quality is much higher online (at least from eharmony).

I do think going the whole myspace/facebook egame thing is pretty sad though

3/12/2007 5:38:33 PM

just go to Chapel Hill and yell out loud "I LIKE WOMEN OK"

3/12/2007 6:13:24 PM

yea online is fine just don't do that gay my space and face book bullshit.
man up and join eharmony or match.com they are totally fine ways to meet people who you will get along with and have lots in common.

3/12/2007 9:13:49 PM

^^most of them are either idiots or mindless liberals, unfortunately.

3/12/2007 9:33:04 PM

you know what's really funny?

I met a really cool, good-looking, and single chick at the bar I was at for the State game on Sunday. We'll see how this turns out, I'm optimistic.

3/12/2007 10:13:20 PM

Quote :

"man up and join eharmony or match.com"

Seriously......

3/13/2007 2:45:02 AM

Yahoo! personals was the shit back in the day.

3/13/2007 2:52:21 AM

whats wrong with meeting a woman at a bar. i see a lot of people complaining, but not much supporting it. shes there, you're there, clearly you at least have some similar interest and hang out in the same kind of scene. seems liek a perfect way to get started imo. but i'm < 21

3/13/2007 10:16:26 AM

You don't see anything wrong with trying to form a relationship with a person who clearly thought downing 6 Yeager Bombs in 5 mins is a good idea?

3/13/2007 10:22:23 AM

No.

I'm a great guy, but I've done that before.

^^ is right. It's a good place to start because you already have something in common, you know you both like to have fun, etc.

3/13/2007 10:28:50 AM

^^He's under 21 so...probably not.

3/13/2007 10:29:41 AM

Stop worrying about "where" to meet new girls and focus on seizing the opportunities that come along. Girls are everywhere. Get off the computer and do any type of social activity. You are bound to run into some cute girls.

From there, just learn how to strike up a friendly conversation without being sleazy. If she's interested, she'll smile a lot and laugh too hard at your jokes. If she's not, forget about her and repeat the process with another girl. The main thing is to break the ice with confidence or a funny joke. If you're tenative and timid, you look weak and girls hate that shit.

I've picked up girls at Wal-Mart, the gym, the bookstore, a gas station, a baseball game, the airport, volunteer worksites, etc. And i'm not particularly funny or good-looking. I just make it a point to try to talk to pretty girls when I get the chance, and occasionally I get lucky.

3/13/2007 10:47:13 AM

^How did meeting the girl in Wal-mart turn out for ya?

3/13/2007 11:30:10 AM

The girl ended up being too young so I ended the night early. She was smokin hot, but I'm getting too old to be fooling around with underage chicks.

3/13/2007 12:03:12 PM

Quote :

"You don't see anything wrong with trying to form a relationship with a person who clearly thought downing 6 Yeager Bombs in 5 mins is a good idea?"

Yeah....because everyone that goes to bars takes shot after shot, pounds beer after beer, and downs rum and coke after rum and coke. Some of you guys are pathetic.

And I would expect someone who spells "Jager"..."Yeager", to really know what goes on in bars....

3/13/2007 12:16:39 PM

so what do you have against internet dating sites anyway? Why's it so sad to look for someone with similar interests online?

Just curious.

3/13/2007 1:58:25 PM

I'm actually finding myself asking this same question lately. I mean I think some of you who have been single a lot in college don't realize that it could be hard for someone who was in a relationship for a long time. For instance, I was in a 4.5year relationship that ended a couple months ago. I was in a long relationship before that too, so i really haven't been single in over 6 years. I mean there are some good suggestions in here, but it's definetly an adjustment to get used to just walking about to girls and starting random conversations. I mean if I see a girl in a bookstore, 1) what am i supposed to say to her to randomly start talking to her, 2) why would she want me to walk up and talk to her while she was in a book store? i mean it's just a really foreign concept for me, but i definetly want to start meeting people, i guess i just have to say fuck it and try not to care if i look like an idiot a few dozen times?

3/13/2007 3:55:29 PM

Quote :

"i guess i just have to say fuck it and try not to care if i look like an idiot a few dozen times?"

Ding Ding Ding!

We do it countless times in bars, why is it such a foreign concept to do so elsewhere? Like I said, don't be sleazy and don't go over the top. But when the opportunity arises to strike up a conversation, go for it. You'll know if she's interested in you pretty quickly. And if the girl looks annoyed or busy with something else, then forget her and wait for the next opportunity to come along. Yeah, you're probably gonna get rejected more often than not, but so what? It's better to get shot down 50 times and meet 1 cool chick than not meet anyone at all.

There are a lot of girls just waiting for a guy to approach them. Why do you think they spend so much goddamn time trying to look pretty every morning?

3/13/2007 4:10:29 PM

Quote :

" eah....because everyone that goes to bars takes shot after shot, pounds beer after beer, and downs rum and coke after rum and coke. Some of you guys are pathetic. And I would expect someone who spells "Jager"..."Yeager", to really know what goes on in bars.... "

I think you correcting me on the finer points of how to spell the name of an overpriced beverage actually validates my point.

3/13/2007 4:28:36 PM

I met my GF on teh intarweb 3+ years ago. So far, so good.

3/13/2007 4:40:30 PM

I met my ex-wife (as of today; divorce is final) in a bar. Though she's not a typical barfly, I'll be damned if I will ever go that route again.

3/13/2007 4:48:27 PM

Congratulations on the divorce being finalized.

(was that impolite?)

3/13/2007 4:56:41 PM

Quote :

"I think you correcting me on the finer points of how to spell the name of an overpriced beverage actually validates my point."

Actually...it doesn't. But nice attempt at dancing around my reply instead of making a good argument.

Quote :

"so what do you have against internet dating sites anyway? Why's it so sad to look for someone with similar interests online?"

For one thing, it gives people another excuse to be lazy and not improve their social skills....which is extremely lacking in a majority of our population these days.

So you're not good at going out and talking to people....so what?? You can only get better...go out and try some more. And there are other methods (as has been discussed thoroughly in this thread) to meeting people.

To me, using the internet to meet people is a cop out. And saying you don't have time is bullshit. You'll have plenty of time to take out that girl you met on the internet who also like Dave Matthews Band, dogs, and going to the beach. And to the guy who's "met some really cool and attractive girls" through dating services....are you dating any of them currently?? How many became long-term girlfriends?? Just curious.

3/13/2007 4:59:26 PM

i met my long term girlfriend originally online. we didnt email back and forth 100x or anything, we just immediately met and it worked. i see nothing wrong with using it to meet people, but using it as a primary communication source early on is a bit much.

3/13/2007 5:02:50 PM

What exactly is your point. Your sarcastic reply and nitpicking of my spelling doesn't actually contain any information on why people go to bars.

3/13/2007 5:10:45 PM

My brother met his fiancee on e-harmony.com

I've never used an online dating site, but some friends have and they recommend it. Once you get past the creepy/dorky intarweb stigma, it makes a lot of sense because of the relative anonymity and ability to quickly scan thru hundreds of profiles.

3/13/2007 5:12:40 PM

You said this....

Quote :

"You don't see anything wrong with trying to form a relationship with a person who clearly thought downing 6 Yeager Bombs in 5 mins is a good idea?"

I said that someone who doesn't even know how to spell the liquor in the most common shot given at bars these days doesn't know enough about going out to bars to make a valid comment on it. I for one hate Jager bombs...but I've also seen a Jagermeister bottle before.

And your post was making a stupid generalization that everyone that goes to bars goes out to take shots and get hammered. And the bottom line is that that's far from the truth. I don't know how often you go out or what places you go to...but you're wrong.

The only problem is...the drunkest people are the loudest and they are the ones you remember. So you may see ten people at a bar who are wasted off their asses, and those are the only people you remember and you say to yourself the next day..."man, everyone was WASTED at the bar last night."

People go to bars for different reason and people have different drinking habits.

Just for person examples...here are reasons I go out:

- To take a load off. I work and go to law school. When I have a day or two off, I like to go out and have a few beers and have good conversation with my friends.

- To watch a game. I usually like to watch games in the confines of my own home, but I've got friends that like to watch it at bars, and sometimes my cable company doesn't cover certain games.

- To eat good food and drink drinks I can't make at home. I like to go to wine bars and try different wines (I'm a big fan of the buzz you get from wine). There are also some bars that have numerous beers on tap that I like to try or to try new ones.

- To listen to good music. I like it all....jazz, alternative rock, reggae, etc. I'm lucky I'm in somewhat of a big city where I have the options to go out and listen to live music. But it's nice to go out, have a few drinks, and listen to some good live music.

- To meet people (the gist of this thread). I actually like meeting new people. I've got good friends that I work with and go to school with...but I've found a lot of good friends through going out. Sometimes they are people that I see at the gym or at other places and then I see them out and start conversation. Either way, you can meet cool people when you go out.

- To meet girls. It's really not that hard. Newsflash....if a girl is out, I'd say there's about a 75% chance she's out to meet guys. The other 25% include girls that are drug out by their friends, or girls that are taken and just like to go out with their friends. If your social skills suck, go out and work on them. You definitely learn from rejection. You just can't go out and expect girls to come up to you (although it can happen).

- To get wasted. Might as well be truthful. Sometimes I just need to get drunk. It doesn't happen that often, but usually after final exams or while celebrating a birthday or major accomplishment, I just feel like getting trashed. I feel like this is the same for most people. Of course you have your lushes who get trashed all the time, but that's definitely in the minority.

3/13/2007 5:42:35 PM

So you go to bars to

-loud music
-meet people
-meet girls (same as above, but ok)
-get wasted

which we can then infer, girls go to bars to

-loud music
-meet people
-meet guys (really only this, I've never actually seen girls go to bars to talk to other girls not in their social)
-get wasted

Hmm. Still thinking I'm right on this one.

Also, I'm sorry I misspelled a drink I don't order. Next time I'll be sure to reference the menu before commenting.

As a side note, I never actually claimed not liking bars and for that matter don't recall a weekend in the last three months that I haven't gone out with friends.

Try again champ, write another essay filled with anecdotal evidence.

3/13/2007 6:53:33 PM

^Where are you getting your "6 Yaeger shots in 5 minutes" from anything I listed other than "getting wasted."

And "loud music"??? Loud music comes up about one out of the five times that I go listen to live music. I'm pretty big on Jazz and small acoustic groups. Last bar I went to I sat right beside a duo playing and was able to keep good conversation going with everyone at my table.

And you left off about half my list. So try again.

3/13/2007 7:06:17 PM

I can't tell you how many of my rather unfortunate looking male friends have hit quality coug off of okcupid.com

3/13/2007 9:06:31 PM

^haha, so people have really had good experiences with eharmony? is everyone looking for relationships, or can it just be for female friends too? could someone describe like the different phases and stuff?

3/13/2007 9:13:01 PM

Quote :

" This is just stupid. It's just another way to meet people. Every girl I've met from online I would have NEVER met through traditional channels, and they have all been good looking and really damn cool. For those of us who work 50-80 hours a week and have side projects and other responsibilities, meeting quality people to go out with is definitely tougher to do. I still go out and meet the occasional girl the traditional route, but the quality is much higher online (at least from eharmony). I do think going the whole myspace/facebook egame thing is pretty sad though "

Amen to all of the above. But eHarmony is the only one I trust.

I've had great experiences, but just like dating at a bar - they aren't all for you. Out of the 5 I dated, 1 was a definite no after the 1st date, all others were at minimum 4 month deals.... How you met really is irrelevant to me, but I agree that part of that battle is getting over the internet stigma.
I agree with having the opportunity to get to know some really cool people, that otherwise I likely would have never met. You also have the opportunity to talk as long as you want before meeting to get to know them, as opposed to the bar hog that wants you at his house in the sack on night 2 (or if you dig that, go the bar route). Over all I have been quite pleased.

3/13/2007 9:25:05 PM

i've had luck with both okcupid and match. my current g/f i met off match last year in january and we've been together ever since and most likely will stay together unless some freak thing comes up. okcupid i've found 1-2 good friends off of which is definitely worth it in that sense. but for dating i would say match, for friends i would say okcupid, for plain sex i would say adultfriendfinder or myspace.

3/13/2007 9:28:27 PM

^ There was one thing I didn't like about match - The same thing that I do like about E/H... the matches are much more tailored to people/personalities/lifestyles/etc similar to mine, and that I'm interested in. Match (at least to me) was a little too "click on a cute face and see if they wink back" crap for me.

3/13/2007 9:35:04 PM

Yeah but eHarmony you can't look for other matches can you? Don't they just stick you with someone?


[Edited on March 13, 2007 at 9:40 PM. Reason : I mean TWW is meeting broads off the internet, and you goons do that all the time. laff!]

3/13/2007 9:38:44 PM

^^ that is tru about eharmony. they do tailor all that a lot better to the individual person. however, because of that, sometimes a person wont really get any potential matches because there are a few factors that block the matching. with match, i think it's a bit easier to find someone. you are right about the "click a face and wink" deal but as a payin member, it's so much more powerful.

3/13/2007 9:42:41 PM

seconded

3/13/2007 9:51:08 PM

Quote :

"you know what's really funny? I met a really cool, good-looking, and single chick at the bar I was at for the State game on Sunday. We'll see how this turns out, I'm optimistic."

Tonight was the first date since our fun at the bar. I guess maybe I shouldn't have ruled out meeting women at bars, cause this one is great in just about every way.

Quote :

"Stop worrying about "where" to meet new girls and focus on seizing the opportunities that come along."

Best advice in the thread. While I am a confident guy and can be very extroverted at times, sometimes I forget that the best time to meet people/women is when you least expect it.

3/13/2007 10:06:32 PM

If girls like QTPie are on eHarmony, I might just have to join up

3/14/2007 10:08:51 AM

OKCupid works pretty well.

At the same time, I think the "don't try to pick up women in bars" thing greatly depends on what kind of bars it is you're going to and what your intentions are with said girl.

3/14/2007 10:27:46 AM

my problem with online dating is the people usually turn out to be fat and/or ugly

okcupid included, not many lookers there

3/14/2007 4:54:55 PM

Quote :

"I do think going the whole myspace/facebook egame thing is pretty sad though"

actually...i'v met some cool girls that are friends of a friend. having some one to vouch for you is priceless.

3/14/2007 5:24:43 PM

most of the girls i've dated i've met through a mutual friend.

Dating a girl you meet in a bar when wasted is a bad idea...i agree on that.

besides most bars around here have music way too loud to be able to have a normal conversation that doesn't involve yelling at each other....unless you go some where nice like Sullivans.

3/14/2007 4:58:52 PM