how?

10/31/2007 12:55:09 PM

fuck.

lost

[Edited on October 31, 2007 at 12:55 PM. Reason : ]

10/31/2007 12:55:15 PM

huh?

11/1/2007 9:47:51 AM

Nov 1 1530

Holland's dikes fail, drowning 400,000.

Nov 1 1755

An earthquake and resultant fire in Lisbon kills 50,000. The jail was damaged, and escaped prisoners were looting, setting fires, and committing mayhem. Gallows had to be erected around the city to restore order.

Nov 1 1896

Tits appear for the first time in National Geographic, starting a trend of providing masturbation material to youth for decades. The tits are attached to a Zulu woman.

Nov 1 1939

A rabbit that was born of artificial insemination is shown to the world. History does not record why anyone felt that rabbits needed any help in the procreation department.

Nov 1 1948

A Chinese merchant ship with as many as 6,000 people aboard explodes and sinks off southern Manchuria, killing all aboard.

Nov 1 1950

Attempt by Puerto Rican nationalists to assassinate President Truman at Blair House fails, leaving one of them dead with a bullet in the head.

Nov 1 1951

US Soldiers are exposed to an atomic explosion for the first time in training exercises, at Desert Rock, Nevada. Participation was not voluntary and served both to train and indoctrinate.

Nov 1 1990

A New York City civil jury awards Sandra Miller $100 for battery after an incident in which boxer Mike Tyson grabbed her breasts, insulted and propositioned her. The jury found Tyson's behavior "not outrageous". Mike certainly has a way with women.

Nov 1 1994

A group of South Korean cannibals known as the Chijon Family are sentenced to death for murdering and eating five people. The group was founded in 1993 by ex-convict Kim Ki Hwan and several other prisoners, in solidarity against the wealthy. Eat the rich.

11/1/2007 12:38:55 PM

Nov 2 1974

The Time Go-Go Club in Seoul, South Korea burns, killing 78. Six of the victims jumped six floors to their deaths. After the fire started, club officials barred the doors, suspecting a ruse by customers to avoid paying.

Nov 2 1984

Velma Barfield, convicted of killing her mother, her boyfriend and two others with rat poison in their food was put to death by lethal injection in Raleigh, N.C. Barfield was the first female executed in the US since 1962.

Nov 2 1988

The Internet Worm is released by Cornell grad student Robert Morris. His ingenious program was meant to explore the Internet harmlessly, but due to a bug, it crashed some 6,000 computers. Spaf parlays the incident into a career.

Nov 2 1991

Jermaine Jackson's single "Word to the Badd!" is leaked to radio station KPWR in Los Angeles. The song attacks his brother Michael, with lyrics that include the lines

Reconstructed
Been abducted
Don't know who you are...
Once you were made
You changed your shade
Was your color wrong?
Could not turn back
It's a known fact
You were too far gone

While upsetting to Michael, it may have been a relief to him that the lyrics do not mention homosexuality or pedophilia at all.

Nov 2 1995

The image of Jesus Christ appears to many people in a photo taken by the Hubble space telescope, depicting a gigantic gas plume 7000 light years from Earth. Some CNN viewers pointed out the image resembles Gene Shalit more than the Lord Saviour.

11/2/2007 3:08:42 AM

Quote :

"After the fire started, club officials barred the doors, suspecting a ruse by customers to avoid paying."

11/2/2007 4:44:48 AM

Nov 3 1755

The colony of Massachusetts offers a 20 pound bounty for scalps of indian boys or girls under the age of 12. Warrior scalps fetch a slightly higher price, 30 pounds.

Nov 3 1913

Income tax law signed.

Nov 3 1957

Laika the dog becomes the first living creature in space. She asphyxiated when oxygen in the Soviet Sputnik 2 ran out. However, some western researchers speculate that Laika roasted when the satellite's heat shields were detached.

Nov 3 1979

Diff'rent Strokes premieres on NBC. The cast's child actors have gone on to bigger and better things: Todd Bridges (arrests: drug possession, 1983; attempted murder, 1989; knife stabbing in self defense, no arrest, 1993; assault with a deadly weapon, 1997); Dana Plato (armed robbery, 1992, then a porno centerfold; dead of a drug overdose in 1999); Gary Coleman (a short, pudgy gun nut who plays Nintendo games; 2003 gubernatorial candidate).

11/3/2007 4:23:41 PM

Nov 4 1963

At a Beatles command performance (present: Queen Elizabeth; the Queen Mother; Princess Margaret), John Lennon utters the remark: "Will the people in the cheaper seats clap their hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry."

Nov 4 1966

The Arno and Po rivers in Italy flood, submerging 2/3 of Florence. Irreplaceable rennaisance art treasures and books were destroyed. 113 people died and 30,000 were rendered homeless.

Nov 4 1979

The US Embassy in Tehran is stormed by "students", holding 52 hostages for 444 days. The incident propels Ted Koppel and his magnificent hair onto the national scene with a long series of repetitive Nightline: America Held Hostage specials.

Nov 4 1986

The Iran-Contra Scandal is first reported in "Al Shiraa", an obscure Lebanese magazine. The public would come to learn that millions had been paid for US weapons and equipment for Iran in exchange for the release of American hostages in Lebanon. Profits were illegally channeled to the Contras fighting the Sandinista government in Nicaragua.

Nov 4 1993

A series of fires rage in Southern California, destroying 300 very expensive homes in Malibu and 700 homes scattered elsewhere. Damage totals $500M to $1B. Half of the large fires were arson.

11/4/2007 12:07:23 PM

Nov 5 1605

Parliament is scheduled for detonation in the notorious Gunpowder Plot, in which Catholic conspirators attempted to roll back protestantism in England. Thirty-six barrels of black powder were uncovered in the cellar, and fuses were found in Guy Fawkes' pocket. In consequence, Fawkes was beheaded. Britains now celebrate his death with warm beer and fireworks.

Nov 5 1975

Logger Travis Walton is abducted by aliens near Snowflake, Arizona and is missing for five days. Aliens performed "various experiments" on the abductee. One can only imagine this involved anal probes of some manner. Needless to say, Walton finds the experience immensely lucrative as his experiences are chronicled in the mediocre book Fire in the Sky and a very bad film by Paramount.

Nov 5 1979

Ayatollah Khomeini declares the US to be "The Great Satan". In return, Time Magazine later selects the ayatollah "Man of the Year".

Nov 5 1994

Ronald Reagan announces that he has Alzheimer's. For some people it merely confirms what they suspected all along. [Trivia question: Which 1980's president fell asleep at an audience with the Pope?]

11/5/2007 3:17:25 PM

Nov 6 1962

Dick Nixon loses the governor's election in California, proclaiming to the nation, "You won't have Nixon to kick around any more." (This was a full decade prior to "Lick Dick in '72".)

Nov 6 1985

The Playboy Club in New York City admits topless male bunnies.

Nov 6 1988

Beatle/boozehound Ringo Starr checks into an alcohol rehabilitation center. While many consider Ringo the least talented Beatle, he has shown exceptional acting ability in his "Atouk zug zug Lana" role (Caveman, 1981).

Nov 6 1989

Kitty Dukakis, wife of Presidential candidate and Massachusetts governor Michael Dukakis, is hospitalized for drinking rubbing alcohol. According to Hunter S. Thompson, "She was a really good advertisement for speed for twenty-six years."

Nov 6 1996

In Vicente Guererro, Mexico, the family of Eduardo Quihua Maquixtle, including four children, are stabbed by three men who accuse them of witchcraft.

Nov 6 2002

Actress Winona Ryder found guilty of shoplifting, after she lifted $5500 in crap from Saks Fifth Avenue on Wilshire Boulevard. Among the merchandise she stole was a $760 sweater and $600 hair decorations. And an $80 pair of socks.

11/6/2007 1:55:35 PM

Quote :

"At a Beatles command performance (present: Queen Elizabeth; the Queen Mother; Princess Margaret), John Lennon utters the remark: "Will the people in the cheaper seats clap their hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.""

ahahaha nice

11/6/2007 2:12:28 PM

Quote :

"She was a really good advertisement for speed for twenty-six years."

hahahahahahaha nice.

11/6/2007 2:44:24 PM

Nov 7 1783

A man convicted of forgery is the last public hanging at London's Tyburn site, ending a gallows tradition begun in 1196.

Nov 7 1872

The cargo ship Mary Celeste sails from New York, never reaching Genoa. Four weeks later it is found completely abandoned, whereabouts of the ten man crew unknown. The ship's cargo was alcohol, so you decide.

Nov 7 1918

A ship from New Zealand brings the 1918 influenza epidemic to Western Samoa, killing 7542 -- about twenty percent of the population by the end of the year. Perhaps 20,000,000 people are killed from the epidemic globally, including half a million Americans.

Nov 7 1965

The Pillsbury Doughboy makes its first appearance. It (we refer to the creature as "it"; marketing may call it a Doughboy but there is no evidence of genitals) has had a long and uneventful career, but the puffy pastry is now in serious trouble as he recently shit a croissant in front of god and everybody.

Nov 7 1983

A bomb explodes inside the US Capitol building. The structure was damaged but there were no deaths or injuries.

Nov 7 1991

Magic Johnson announces that he is an AIDS victim. Perhaps the basketball player's condition has something to do with his sleeping promiscuously with thousands of women.

11/7/2007 1:35:14 PM

Nov 8 1879

Leon Trotsky's birthday!

Nov 8 1923

Adolf Hitler attempts to seize the government in Munich. The event is now known as the "Beer Hall Putsch" and lands his ass in jail.

Nov 8 1937

The Nazi exhibition Der ewige Jude (The Eternal Jew) opens in Munich, which ran until the 16th. Later, a film is released by the same name. "Wherever rats appear they bring ruin, by destroying mankind's goods and foodstuffs."

Nov 8 1973

The right ear of John Paul Getty III is delivered to a newspaper along with a ransom note. It takes two weeks to arrive. Previously, the kidnapping was thought to be a ruse by the son to obtain money, but the ear convinces his father to pay the $2.9M ransom.

Nov 8 1991

Convicted crack smoker Marion Barry, who served six months in prison in 1990, is re-elected mayor of Washington D.C. Astonishing. And even more astonishing, on the same day Sonny Bono is elected to the United States Congress.

Nov 8 1997

President Bill Clinton speaks at a dinner sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign, the nation's largest gay rights organization. It is the first time an American president has so addressed a gathering of sodomites.

Nov 8 1997

A newborn baby is abandoned at a toilet in Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom. While the baby was found within five minutes of birth, police are still searching for the mother.

11/8/2007 10:32:49 AM

Nov 9 1888

Mary Jane Kelly, a 25 year old hooker, falls victim to Jack the Ripper. Mary's face had been mutilated; her breasts had been removed and she had been disembowled. Her various internal organs were scattered about.

Nov 9 1953

Dylan Thomas drinks himself to death.

Nov 9 1971

John Emil List, a "deeply religious" Lutheran, kills his mother, wife, and three teenage children. He is not found until 1988, living with a new improved family as Robert P. Clark in Richmond Virginia.

Nov 9 1997

Michael Paul Lookinland, aka "Bobby" from the Brady Bunch, charged with drunk driving in St. George, Utah. With a BAL of 0.258, the 36 year old former child star was very drunk.

Nov 9 2346

Romulans commit an atrocity now known as the Khitomer Massacre, slaughtering over 4,000 Klingons on an agricultural colony. Worf and Kahlest are the only two to survive.

Damn Romulans.

11/9/2007 2:55:00 PM

Quote :

"A newborn baby is abandoned at a toilet in Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom. While the baby was found within five minutes of birth, police are still searching for the mother."

WTF

11/9/2007 3:06:34 PM

Nov 10 4004 BC

Adam and Eve are driven from Paradise.

Nov 10 1928

Emperor Hirohito enthroned at Kyoto.

Nov 10 1938

Kristallnacht, Night of Broken Glass, in Germany. Members of the SA, SS, and Hitler Youth round up some 30,000 jews. Jewish homes and shops are targeted for vandalism, 177 synagogues are destroyed by fire and 91 jews are killed.

Nov 10 1940

Walt Disney begins serving as a secret informer for the Los Angeles office of the FBI, to report back information on Hollywood subversives. He was made a "Full Special Agent in Charge Contact" in 1954. We should note that Disney was atheist and thus subversive in his own little way.

Nov 10 1972

Two men hijack Southern Airways Flight 49 out of Birmingham, and hopscotch it variously in the U.S., Canada, and Cuba while demanding $7M. At one point they circle Oak Ridge National Laboratory and threaten to crash the plane into that top secret nuclear installation. After two days, and exhausting most of the aircraft's supply of mini-liquor bottles, the plane lands for good in Havana where the hijackers are jailed by Fidel Castro. Said one of the two hijackers later, "I wanted to fly over the Statue of Liberty and urinate on it."

Nov 10 1997

Seymore Hersh's book "The Dark Side of Camelot" published, includes allegations that explicit photos were taken of John F. Kennedy with various sex partners and brought by a Secret Service agent to a Washington gallery for framing. The gallery owner, Sidney Mickelson, stated that the participants included a naked Kennedy and assorted lady friends wearing masks.

11/10/2007 11:14:43 AM

Quote :

"Nov 8 1997 A newborn baby is abandoned at a toilet in Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom. While the baby was found within five minutes of birth, police are still searching for the mother. "

http://tinyurl.com/2jc2bb

Quote :

" National News Briefs; Abandoned Baby Was Woman's Ninth Child Published: February 7, 1998 An infant born at Walt Disney World and abandoned in a toilet three months ago has been identified as the ninth child of a tourist from the Philippines, the police said today. The tourist, Madona Arcelona, 43, gave birth on Nov. 8 in a restroom stall at the park, the police said. The baby girl, whom social workers named Jasmine after a character in the Disney movie ''Aladdin,'' may be adopted by her aunt and uncle. The police plan to charge Mrs. Arcelona, who has returned to the Philippines, with attempted murder and aggravated child abuse. Commander Steve Jones of the Orange County Sheriff's Department said the identification was made with help of Mrs. Arcelona's sister-in-law and her husband, who live in New Jersey. They have already adopted another of Mrs. Arcelona's children, a 16-month-old girl, and want to adopt Jasmine. The police said they used a DNA sample from Jasmine's 16-month-old sister in New Jersey to make the positive identification. The New Jersey couple were at Disney World with Mrs. Arcelona, but said they did not know she was pregnant because she was obese. Mr. Jones said the couple accused Mrs. Arcelona of being the child's mother after hearing about Jasmine on the news and discovering blood on their car seat. She denied it, but Mrs. Arcelona's husband also became suspicious, Mr. Jones said. "

[Edited on November 10, 2007 at 12:04 PM. Reason : ]

11/10/2007 12:04:01 PM

Nov 11

It's poppy day. All we can say is, groovy man.

Nov 11 1215

The Fourth Lateran Council meets. They adopt the doctrine of transubstantiation, meaning that bread and wine are transformed into the body and blood of Christ. This means all Catholics are essentially cannibals on a feeding schedule, but who are we to judge a theology?

Nov 11 1634

Under the urging of Anglican Bishop John Atherton, the Irish House of Commons passes "An Act for the Punishment for the Vice of Buggery." Seven years later, the good Bishop Atherton is himself the second man hanged under the Act.

Nov 11 1969

A drunken Jim Morrison, Door, is arrested by the FBI after he repeatedly prods a stewardess.

Nov 11 1978

A renovated Hollywood Sign is unveiled. The original sign was built in 1923, and said "Hollywoodland". Its 45 foot high letters have served as the jumping point for several suicides, including the first: starlet Peg Entwhistle (letter "H", 1932).

Nov 11 1988

Seven bodies are discovered under the ground of a Sacramento California boardinghouse owned by Dorothea Puente. The batty landlord had killed nine elderlies and was receiving their social security money.

Nov 11 1997

19-year-old girl Marianne Biancuzzo is charged in Tucson for drowning her newborn baby in a toilet and hiding the remains in a coffee can under her family's bathroom sink. The baby's carcass was discovered by her 15-year-old brother. What size coffee can you ask? 3 pounds. The brand name has not been released by police.

11/11/2007 9:12:35 AM

i woke up hungover this morning

HISTORY IN THE MAKING!

11/11/2007 11:37:08 AM

Nov 12 1912

Frozen bodies of Captain Robert Scott and his men found on the Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica.

Nov 12 1933

Hugh Gray of the British Aluminium Company took five pictures of the Loch Ness Monster, the first known photos. Four the the five exposures were blank, and the remaining photo was later proven to be a hoax.

Nov 12 1934

Charles Manson born in Cincinnati to a 16 year old prostitute and an unknown father. He grows up to do... interesting things.

Nov 12 1938

Hermann Goering announces that Madagascar will be the Jewish homeland, with support from Himmler and others. The original idea actually belongs to a jew of the 19th century, Theodore Herzl. Negotiations were conducted with the French government regarding this so called "Madagascar Plan" (France owned the island at that time), but were broken off in 1942 -- probably because Britain controlled the seas.

Nov 12 1942

Mobster Frank Costello has mob informer Abe "Kid Twist" Reles, then in protective custody under guard of six policemen, defenestrated. Reles was in a position to put away several important bosses including Bugsy Siegel and Albert Anastasia. Brooklyn police are greased with $50,000 to allow the killing to occur. His body isn't found until much later.

Nov 12 1970

Cyclone and floods hit Bangladesh (then called East Pakistan). Over 200,000 poor people die.

Nov 12 1993

A Russian woman purchases meat at the Saratov public market at a very good price, but a sutured wound indicates foul play. Yuri Lukin, a local hospital worker, is subsequently arrested for removing human body parts from his employer's refrigerator to raise cash for booze.

Nov 12 2001

An American Airlines Airbus A300 crashes after takeoff from New York City, the first major crash after the terrorist attacks of September 11.

11/12/2007 11:59:17 AM

Nov 13 1805

Johann Georg Lehner invents the hot dog. At long last a use for all those hog penises, lips, intestines, and ears.

Nov 13 1969

In Des Moines, Iowa, Spiro T. Agnew utters his line "nattering nabobs of negativism", complaining of television news bias. Nattering nabob William Safire actually ghostwrote the phrase.

Nov 13 1974

Nuclear activist Karen Silkwood's car is forced off the road into an embankment, while travelling to an interview with author and New York Times reporter David Burnham. Her files were missing from the wreck, but a not-so-impartial FBI investigation concluded accident. For the TV movie they give Meryl Streep the part.

Nov 13 1974

Palestinian Liberation Organization leader Yasser Arafat stuns the world by wearing a sidearm to the United Nations General Assembly, where he gives his landmark address.

Nov 13 1985

An eruption of the Nevado del Ruiz volcano melts a glacier, causing a mudslide that kills 23,000 poor people in Armero, Colombia.

Nov 13 1986

Ronald Reagan tells television audience: "We have not -- I repeat, did not -- trade weapons or anything else for hostages, nor will we ever."

11/13/2007 1:53:20 PM

Nov 14 1940

The Nazis bomb Coventry, destroying the cathedral and killing several hundred people. British Intelligence knew ahead of time -- the German ENIGMA ciphers had been decoded -- but did not warn the town's citizens. Of course, Coventry was a legitimate military target, something the English government tried to play down.

Nov 14 1968

National Turn In Your Draft Card Day.

Nov 14 1991

Former postal employee Thomas McIlvane shoots and kills four of his ex-coworkers and wounds five others, and then suicides. The act was revenge for his recent firing for lying on his time card. McIlvane's previous work experience includes a dishonorable discharge from the Marine Corps, after he ran over a car with a tank.

Nov 14 1993

Michael Jackson checks into a drug rehabilitation program in order to treat his addiction to painkillers, taken in response to media allegations that he is a homosexual pedophile. According to his publicist, Jackson was "barely able to function adequately on an intellectual level."

11/14/2007 12:58:51 PM

Quote :

"ran over a car with a tank."

always wanted to do it, but never did. I have seen it though, and it was AWESEOME!!!


best thread ever, btw.

11/15/2007 7:31:49 AM

Nov 15 1864

The sack and burning of Atlanta by General William Tecumseh Sherman, making Georgia howl. That act and the subsequent March to the Sea makes Sherman the most hated and despised man in Georgia history.

Nov 15 1940

Nazis quarantine the Warsaw Ghetto, population 400,000 Juden.

Nov 15 1941

SS chief Himmler orders the arrest and concentration of all homosexuals in Germany. Excluded were certain top Nazi officials who happened to be fags, including Himmler.

Nov 15 1978

A chartered Icelandic Airlines DC-8 with 249 pilgrims returning from Mecca, crashes on approach to Sri Lanka's international airport in Colombo, killing 183 believers.

Nov 15 1979

A package from the Unabomber in the mail carried aboard American flight 444 explodes on the way to Washington. Several people suffer smoke inhalation.

Nov 15 1985

A research assistant is injured when he opens a present from the Unabomber addressed to a University of Michigan professor.

Nov 15 1990

Producers acknowledge that Milli Vanilli (the 1990 "Best Artist" Grammy Award winners) did not sing on their album. One of the duo, Robert Pilatus, later attempts suicide in 1991 but he couldn't even get that performance right. He does succeed 7 years later, though.

11/15/2007 2:12:42 PM

Nov 16 1906

Opera star Enrico Caruso is charged with an indecent act committed in the monkey house of New York's Central Park Zoo. He pinched the bottom of a woman described as "pretty and plump", causing outrage amongst New York high society. Caruso claimed a monkey pinched the lady's bottom.

Nov 16 1957

Serial killer Ed Gein kills his final victim, Bernice Worden, a storeclerk in her 50's. Her decapitated body is later found outdoors hanging from a block and tackle, gutted. Some parts were unaccounted for.

Nov 16 1981

Actor William Holden dies after a fall, hitting his head on a table. He is too fucking drunk to telephone for assistance; instead he bleeds to death while dabbing his serious wound with kleenex.

Nov 16 1989

A death squad composed of El Salvadoran army troops slaughters six Jesuit priests and two others at Jose Simeon Canas University.

11/16/2007 11:37:02 AM

Quote :

"Cyclone and floods hit Bangladesh (then called East Pakistan). Over 200,000 poor people die."

I got dejavu when I read this headline:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12784349/?GT1=10547

Quote :

"1,100 reported killed in Bangladesh storm Cyclone packing 155 mph winds flattened homes, uprooted trees "

11/16/2007 12:27:52 PM

Nov 17 1796

Empress Catherine the Great dies of a stroke while sitting on the commode.

Nov 17 1968

NBC preempts the final 1:05 from a very close Jets-Raiders NFL football game with "Heidi". Two touchdowns were scored during this missing time. Sports fans everywhere applaud and understand the network's decision.

Nov 17 1973

"People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I am not a crook".

Nov 17 1992

Scaremongering "journalists" at Dateline NBC falsify a demonstration involving a GM truck exploding on impact. In reality the trucks do not explode on impact, and smarmy reporters do not always tell the truth.

Nov 17 1997

In a three hour gun battle, Islamic militants in the ancient pharonic city of Luxor indiscriminately slaughter 60 tourists. Six gunmen and two Egyptian policemen are also killed.

11/17/2007 12:55:54 PM

what are you going to do when this thread reaches a year

11/17/2007 12:58:26 PM

seppuku

11/17/2007 2:48:29 PM

11/17/2007 2:49:09 PM

November 18th:

326 - The old St. Peter's Basilica is consecrated.

1421 - A seawall at the Zuiderzee dike breaks, flooding 72 villages and killing about 10,000 people in the Netherlands.

1493 - Christopher Columbus first sights what is now Puerto Rico.

1626 - St. Peter's Basilica is consecrated.

1865 - Mark Twain's story The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County is published in the New York Saturday Press.

1916 - World War I: First Battle of the Somme ends - In France, British Expeditionary Force commander Douglas Haig calls off the battle which started on July 1, 1916.

1943 - Holocaust: Nazis liquidate Janowska concentration camp in Lviv, western Ukraine, murdering at least 6.000 surviving Jews. German SS leader Fritz Katzman declares Lviv (Lemberg) to be Judenfrei (free from the Jews).

1970 - U.S. President Richard Nixon asks the U.S. Congress for US$155 million in supplemental aid for the Cambodian government.

1978 - Jonestown incident: In Guyana, Jim Jones leads his Peoples Temple cult in a mass murder-suicide that claims 918 lives in all, 909 of them at Jonestown itself, including over 270 children.

1999 - In College Station, Texas, 12 are killed and 27 injured at Texas A&M University when a huge bonfire under construction collapses.

11/18/2007 12:05:48 PM

Nov 18 1421

On Saint Elizabeth's Day, heavy storms combine with the high tide to cause a series of dikes to fail in southern Holland. Massive flooding destroys 72 villages, killing somewhere between 4,000 and 10,000 people.

Nov 18 1686

King of France Louis XIV's anal fistula is operated on by surgeon Charles Francois Felix, with great success. To prepare for the operation Felix practiced his surgery on anuses of the peasantry, with some fatalities at first but improving his technique in time for the royal bung.

Nov 18 1953

U.S. Army scientist Frank Olson jumps from the 10th floor of a New York City hotel room, plunging to his death. Five days previously, a CIA experiment wherein Olson was slipped LSD went awry, giving the fragile scientist a very bad trip. That trip proved detrimental to Olson's mental health. Twenty years later, Olson's wife sues.

Nov 18 1969

Joseph P Kennedy dies at age 81. Achievements: Bootlegger; ambassador to England; his mob ties helped get John F. Kennedy elected. When Jackie wanted a divorce from the philandering president, he offered her $1 million.

Nov 18 1970

Singer/polygamist Jerry Lee Lewis divorces his third wife Myra Gail, after 12 years of marriage. Not only was she jailbait when they got married (being 13 at the time), but Lewis was married to Jane Mitcham at the time.

Nov 18 1978

Congressman Leo Ryan is slain at the People's Temple compound in Guyana, after which over 900 members of the cult led by the Reverend Jim Jones drank cyanide laced Flavor Aid (a Kool Aid knockoff), their bodies bloated by the sun when they are discovered several days later.

Nov 18 1997

Gary Glitter arrested in Britain on a child porn charge. Glitter had brought his computer in for repair, where contraband images were discovered.

11/18/2007 11:22:16 PM

Nov 19 1581

Russian Czar Ivan The Terrible kills his son, also named Ivan. The younger Ivan interrupted the elder Ivan, who was beating Ivan Jr's pregnant wife because of her inappropriate garb. Still in a fit of range, dad smote his son with a staff, killing him.

Nov 19 1703

The Man in the Iron Mask dies in the Bastille. He was a prisoner of Louis XIV, forced to wear a black velvet mask, and his identity has never been revealed.

Nov 19 1915

Labor activist Joe Hill executed for a murder he did not commit.

Nov 19 1954

Driving to Los Angeles, Sammy Davis, Jr. is in a serious automobile accident in San Bernardino. He lost his left eye, but the resultant publicity greatly accelerated his career. The following year, the hepcat turned into a Jew.

Nov 19 1961

Michael Rockefeller, 23 year old son of New York Governor Nelson Rockefeller (later Vice President), disappears while searching for Asmat wood carvings in the jungles near Atsj, Papua New Guinea. He was probably eaten by the Asmat.

Nov 19 1970

Lance Rentzel, American professional football player, is arrested for exposing himself to a ten-year-old girl. He was later sentenced to five years' probation. Rentzel was said to have handled the situation bravely, continuing to play pro football and opening admitting his problems. At one point, he labeled himself a "sex pervert." In 1973 he made further headlines when he pleaded guilty to possession of marijuana.

Nov 19 1994

A Rotterdam University study determined that over one in four members of the Dutch Parliament have smoked marijuana.

11/19/2007 3:24:53 PM

Quote :

"Nov 19 1703 The Man in the Iron Mask dies in the Bastille. He was a prisoner of Louis XIV, forced to wear a black velvet mask, and his identity has never been revealed."

it was his twin brother, duh.

11/19/2007 4:03:06 PM

Nov 19 2006: The Wii was released.

11/19/2007 4:03:46 PM

This is more about negative events so that should be:

Quote :

"Nov 17 2006: The Playstation 3 is released."

11/19/2007 4:07:24 PM

Nov 20 1912

Mad Bomber Carl Warr enters Los Angeles city jail with 60 sticks of dynamite strapped to himself. After an hour, two detectives attack Warr who then pulls the bomb's trigger. Nothing happens, and the freakishly masked bomber begs police to kill him.

Nov 20 1917

T.E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia) held prisoner, whipped, and raped by Turkish Army officers. He thoroughly enjoys the experience.

Nov 20 1977

Hillside Strangers, Kenneth Bianchi and Angelo Buono Jr, abduct, abuse, and kill three women: Kristina Weckler, Sonja Johnson, and Dolores Cepeda. The two killers would dress as Los Angeles police officers to gain the women's confidence.

Nov 20 1979

Over 300 Shi'ite muslim radicals, followers of Juhaiman al-Utaibi, take control of the Great Mosque in Mecca, demanding a return to more conservative rule. Two weeks later, over 100 of them are dead after a battle with Saudi military. A further 63 are beheaded at scattered locations over Saudi Arabia, to serve as examples.

Nov 20 1995

Lady Diana interviewed on the BBC television program Panorama, where she admits having an affair with James Hewitt, a British army officer. After Diana's death, Hewitt publishes a tell-all book, juicy excerpts of which the tabloid Mail on Sunday bid half a million pounds for.

11/20/2007 1:41:15 PM

Nov 21 1973

A gap of 18-1/2 minutes is revealed in one of the Watergate tapes, a conversation between Richard M. Nixon and Haldeman. The erasure is blamed on an accident by Nixon's private secretary Rose Mary Woods, but scientific analysis determines the erasures to be deliberate. Later, Chief of Staff Alexander Haig blames the erasure on "some sinister force".

Nov 21 1980

Don Henley, drummer for the Eagles, arrested for drug possession and contributing to the delinquency of a minor when a naked 16 year old girl is found in his home suffering from drug overdose.

Nov 21 1980

The third deadliest hotel fire in history occurs at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas, caused by faulty wiring; 84 people dead. Helicopters were used to rescue stranded guests from the top floors.

Nov 21 1993

Death of actor Bill Bixby, who played David Banner (The Incredible Hulk's mild mannered persona, before the gamma radiation) and also starred in The Courtship of Eddie's Father. Cancer at age 51.

Nov 21 1997

Lead singer of INXS Michael Hutchence found hanged in his hotel room at the Ritz-Carlton in Sydney Australia. Police have denied that his death was due to Autoerotic Asphyxiation. Hutchence is survived by his daughter, Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lily.

11/21/2007 2:27:44 PM

tomorrow, Nov. 22, 1962 JFK was assassinated... and in 1981, I was born w00t!

11/21/2007 2:28:54 PM

get the fuck out.
it says today jackass.

11/21/2007 4:00:12 PM

Nov 22 1963

President John F. Kennedy assassinated.

Nov 22 1963

Death of a President, by William Manchester, is the authorized version of the Kennedy assassination. Jackie Kennedy gave ten hours of interview; both Look magazine and the German publication Stern serialized it. Jackie asked that certain passages which were "too personal" be removed. According to the Paul Krassner's periodical The Realist, this is one of the passages:

"That man was crouching over the corpse, no longer chuckling but breathing hard and moving his body rhythmically. At first I thought he must be performing some mysterious symbolic rite he'd learned from Mexicans or Indians as a boy. And then I realized -- there is only one way to say this -- he was literally fucking my husband in the throat. In the bullet wound in the front of his throat. He reached a climax and dismounted. I froze. The next thing I remember, he was being sworn in as the new President".

It is true, that LBJ was found chuckling over the dead Kennedy on the airplane. However, Paul Krassner embellished the rest just a little bit.

Nov 22 1980

Mae West is dead.

Nov 22 1993

Anthony Burgess, author of the ultraviolent A Clockwork Orange, dead. He had been diagnosed with a brain tumour and doctors gave him one year to live back in 1959.

Nov 22 1996

The actor who played Spock's father Sarek, Mark Lenard, dead of multiple myeloma at age 68 in Manhattan. He is survived by Leonard Nimoy.

Nov 22 1997

Coolio arrested in Germany, for attempting to shoplift $2000 in clothes. A clerk at the store also claims Coolio punched her in the stomach during the altercation.

11/22/2007 2:12:38 PM

Why was LBJ laughing at the dead kennedy?

11/22/2007 3:52:55 PM

Nov 23 1910

English murderer Hawley Crippen hanged, after he was caught aboard the SS Montrose attempting to escape to Britain. It was the first use of radio for the apprehension of a criminal.

Nov 23 1963

The first episode of Doctor Who premiers on the BBC. What makes the show so special? This.

Nov 23 1976

Jerry Lee Lewis arrested in front of Graceland in Memphis for public drunkenness, and carrying a chrome plated .38 derringer revolver.

Nov 23 1980

Over 2500 people are killed when a 6.8 earthquake rocks the Campania and Basilicata regions of Italy.

Nov 23 1997

After a minor traffic incident, three Mexican police officers remove taxi driver Jesus Gallegos from his car and beat him. In front of bystanders. Gallegos charred body is found the next day. The three have been charged with homicide.

11/23/2007 4:37:33 AM

Nov 24 1326

The gay lover of King Edward II, Hugh le Despenser the Younger, is hanged after his penis and testicles are burned in front of him -- "because he was a heretic and a sodomite, even, it was said, with the King."

Nov 24 1740

William Duell, murderer, hanged at Tyburn in London. He is not killed immediately, though this is not noticed by the executioner. Deull later awakes on the dissection table.

Nov 24 1963

Jack Ruby shoots Lee Harvey Oswald. What really happened?

Nov 24 1971

D.B. Cooper hijacks a Northwest Orient 727 and parachutes into the freezing rain over Washington state from the rear stairway of the plane with $200,000 in cash. Rotting currency from the ransom is eventually located, but his rotting body isn't.

Nov 24 1983

Jimmy "the Beard" Ferrozzo is crushed to death after hours in San Francisco's Condor Club. Ferrozzo, the club's assistant manager, was fucking one of the strippers on top of a baby grand piano when one of the pair inadvertently flipped the switch to the motorized winch that lowered the instrument from the ceiling. Only when his legs are trapped between the piano and the ceiling that Ferrozzo manages to shut off the hoist, but he dies of a heart attack. The exotic dancer remains trapped underneath his body until firefighters arrive to free her, several hours later.

Nov 24 1991

Freddie Mercury dead from AIDS.

Nov 24 2003

After his BMW struck a Toyota Camry, country singer Glenn Campbell is arrested with an impressive blood alcohol level of .20 on charges of "extreme" drunk driving, hit and run, and assaulting a police officer, in Phoenix AZ. He is freed on $2000 bond. While in custody, Campbell hummed his hit Rhinestone Cowboy repeatedly.

11/24/2007 2:17:08 PM

Nov 25 1867

Patent granted to Alfred Nobel for dynamite.

Nov 25 1957

Mexican painter Diego Rivera dies of heart failure. Earlier as a student, Rivera claimed to have purchased cadavers and experimented with Cannibalism. Human dining preferences included breasts and brains. Also in his autobiography he wrote that he had cancer of the penis, doctors recommending amputation. Both stories are considered somewhat suspect.

Nov 25 1970

Japanese playwright and novelist Yukio Mishima commits seppuku (self disembowlment) after an aborted coup attempt in Japan. He had authored over 100 works and was deemed by Life magazine the "Japanese Hemmingway"; certainly he is one of the best writers Japan has ever produced. But Mishima believed that "true manhood" required you to face your own death willingly.

Nov 25 1987

Secretarial bimbo Fawn Hall, Oliver North's assistant, removes documents from sealed National Security Council offices inside the White House by hiding them inside her skirt. Go girl!

Nov 25 1997

The Weekly World News reports that the Japanese have a fetishistic attraction to US Attorney General Janet Reno, whom many Americans believe is actually a man. If these reports are true, at the very least we should impose trade sanctions.

11/25/2007 3:11:45 AM

Nov 26 1865

Lewis Carroll sends the manuscript for the psychedelic novel "Alice in Wonderland" to his 12 year old special friend Alice Liddell. (Incidentally Carroll, born Charles Dodgson, had a thing for very young girls, frequently photographing them nude.)

Nov 26 1973

The Boston Strangler, Albert DeSalvo, stabbed to death in prison by a fellow inmate in Massachusetts. DeSalvo had killed 13 women.

Nov 26 1975

Manson family member Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme found guilty of attempting to assassinate President Ford. It is unclear why anyone would want to assassinate such an uninteresting president.

Nov 26 1976

Sex Pistols single Anarchy in the UK released. The song later appeared on Never Mind the Bollocks. Sadly, it has yet to be equalled.

11/26/2007 1:59:32 PM

did the idea for this thread come from the little "today in history" pieces between the history channel shows?

11/26/2007 7:11:09 PM

22 years and 51 weeks ago i was born

11/26/2007 7:44:59 PM

set em up

11/26/2007 11:09:01 PM