I AM SPARTACUS

1/28/2009 9:39:56 AM

Quote :

"it is for a female twwer who is in a relationship with a guy but is looking to hookup with a girl."

1/28/2009 9:41:45 AM

Why so serious Willy?

Let's face it Nilly, giving anyone the benefit of the doubt goes against the laws of chit chat.

1/28/2009 9:43:51 AM

Quote :

"but that's all i will say"

you just told on yourself.....it is mildew then

1/28/2009 9:44:00 AM

haha nope. mildew posts quite a bit compared to my other friend. this twwer users from like 4 years ago would possibly remember seeing his name but not any new user. I DO have a few guy friends on here that people don't know i have connections with. I keep it that way b.c. its our business and not yours, plus it was fun when we'd start up fake drama back in the day. haha.

1/28/2009 9:49:36 AM

Quote :

"i'll give you a clue, its not for a guy. it is for a female twwer who is in a relationship with a guy but is looking to hookup with a girl."

thats a horse of another color. if thats the case we need to know for sure because the scenario is entirely different.

1/28/2009 9:55:05 AM

Quote :

"i'll give you a clue, its not for a guy. it is for a female twwer who is in a relationship with a guy but is looking to hookup with a girl."

Quote :

"thats a horse of another color. if thats the case we need to know for sure because the scenario is entirely different."

Please disregard all comments I have made in the past in regards to this person being a slut. This person is now officially awesome. This is a celebration bitches. Praise and admiration onto you.

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 10:07 AM. Reason : -]

1/28/2009 10:05:49 AM

Quote :

"Let's face it Nilly, giving anyone the benefit of the doubt goes against the laws of chit chat."

1/28/2009 10:08:01 AM

if my girl wanted to hook up with another girl my only requirement is that i get to be there and share in the fun

1/28/2009 10:09:09 AM

^^ You know you like it.

1/28/2009 10:10:00 AM

Quote :

"omg its me i admits"

1/28/2009 10:22:06 AM

1/28/2009 10:26:59 AM

he really just needs to grow a pair of balls and dump his gf if he's not satisfied.

because we all know this will end well.

1/28/2009 10:51:47 AM

thx4advice all

1/28/2009 10:55:05 AM

Quote :

"he's looking for a mutual thing like the girl has a bf also etc. "

great, instead of a triangle there's a fucking square....

Quote :

"ps. he is hung "

get a big black rubber dildo if this is a issue

1/28/2009 10:55:27 AM

you're welcome!!!!!!!

1/28/2009 10:55:30 AM

Quote :

"ps. he is hung "

i dont find william hung all that charming

1/28/2009 11:25:52 AM

Well I think that if the other girl knows that the guy has a girlfriend she should stay away, but if she wants to do it then go for it. I mean if you're just dating there were not commitments there. Besides if your boyfriend is going to cheat on your wouldn't you rather him do it while you're dating instead of engaged or married?

So if a guy wants to have fool around with another girl and the girl wants to also, might as well. It's the guy that's gonna be the ass, the girl made no promises to the other girl (unless they are friends or something).

I agree with Casey, if he's gonna cheat might as well do it with me.

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 11:49 AM. Reason : ]

1/28/2009 11:45:28 AM

Quote :

"DAT 190% HUNG"

1/28/2009 11:52:07 AM

I would also like to add if the other girl is talking the guy into wanting to cheat, then the girl sucks.

1/28/2009 11:53:33 AM

I'm responding as I read this thread, start to finish, for the first time.

Quote :

"[I am posting for a twwer to protect his identity...but he wants to know:"

Tell him to pony up for an alias, man up and use his regular sn, keep it off TWW, or, even better, consider this a non-issue.

Quote :

"ps. he is hung "

So?

Quote :

"but if u seriously have a friend that you think it could work with..its better than a stranger, ya know"

If you can't work things out with your mate, break it off. Do both parties a favor.

Quote :

"he's looking for a mutual thing like the girl has a bf also etc. "

Punctuation. It's your friend. I had to re-read that too many times to get what you were saying.
He's looking for someone who is concerned about covering her back, as well. I.e., he's scheming.

Quote :

"Yeah, to me, someone who says they are in a "committed relationship" and then looks for some 'tang on the side is an asshole."

See, there is nothing wrong with having more than one person you're banging. As long as all parties know about each other, and are okay with it. Preferably, they have all met at least once or twice, so as to be able to give informed consent.

Quote :

"I know i tell him this all the time. BUT i can't stop him."

You can't protect people from themselves. Don't waste your energy. As a rule, people tend to learn best the hard way.

Quote :

"you can always tell his GF that hes a cheating bastard. i know that i would want to know if my sig other was banging someone else"

I have mixed feelings on this.
On one hand, it's their relationship - not yours.
On the other hand, how else is she going to learn that she needs to be protecting herself?
If nothing else, you need to say "You need to be acting as though your man has contracted A, B or C STD". Either she'll start wondering why, and talk with her man, or she'll ignore your well-founded warning, in which case, being cheated on is also now partially her fault.

Quote :

"It was pretty harmless."

Engaged. Banging someone else secretly. Not harmless.
If you can't talk to your man about wanting something more/different than what he's giving you, then you have no business getting married.

Quote :

"You said he is hung. Is he also good-looking, sexy, an excellent lover? Is he an interesting person with good conversational skills and an easy-going nature?"

I.e., is he even worth cheating with?

Quote :

"I really think he's gay. I tell him that all the time."

Is this thread about mildew?

[user]& I dunno if his sig. other is on tww or not. so don't want her to get mad at me.[/user]
Why on earth would you care if she gets mad at you?
1) Don't be a people-pleaser
2) She's dating him, not you.

Quote :

"A woman's thought process on being the bang buddy while a guy is in a committed relationship: 1) I am banging him to gain his favor and/or love 2) I don't mind that I don't get the attention and time I would get from him in a relationship because: 3) Soon he'll leave the other girl for me and: 4) He won't cheat on me despite the fact that that's how this thing started."

I know some girls who learned the hard way about #4. Some girls never learn.

Quote :

"Thats why you color code them by mixing up the races too...you won't call your white girl Tamika by mistake"

Nice.

Quote :

"maybe seeing this thread and everyone's responses will reiterate what I have been telling him all along and cheating is not right."

Nope.
He is simply going to filter out all 'no, don't do this, you idiot' responses from all sources, and hang on to the 'sure, go for it!' responses

Quote :

"sounds like he is needs security"

When Jonbo first started posting here, it was about cheating on his girl. Based on his posts, it was clear he was only staying in it for the guaranteed action, and to quit being a pussy. He didn't like that very much. I have literally lost count of all the girls he's cheated on since then. Partially because he stopped dating people I cared about

Quote :

"i'll give you a clue, its not for a guy. it is for a female twwer who is in a relationship with a guy but is looking to hookup with a girl."

She still needs to talk to her man.
Guess it's not about mildew.

Quote :

"I like guys who have integrity and are honest. This kind of two faced act is NOT appealing. Also, who know how many other girls he is doing on the side? I don't want to get that herp yo."

+1

Quote :

"However, if this is an open/swinger relationship situation where everyone's cards are on the table that's different. Then it just depends on everyone being cool with it and not being crazy. People treat sex like a non-renewable resource and guess what? IT'S SO TOTALLY RENEWABLE and we can do whatever we want with it."

I love Metricula...especially for that last line.
I love that I can say to my fiance...that guy over there. You mind if I proposition him? I'm bring him over to meet you here in a minute. The rules are the same for a man or a woman: Z wants to meet who I'm banging, and give his seal of approval. The rules are much the same for him as they are for me, although I'm a lot more flexible on meeting whoever he decides to do. With him traveling for work, I'd hate for him to have to take a pass on getting laid just because I'm not up there in Boston.

Quote :

"join a swingers club...problem solved"

Nope. Not at all. For whatever reason, this person can't talk to their mate. That speaks to a very significant underlying issue...or maybe several.

1/28/2009 12:07:03 PM

i did not read the thread

but if you want to fuck someone else, why wouldn't you just break up?

hes wasting his time if he has a gf and is even considering a "girl on the side"

1/28/2009 12:15:45 PM

And now for the rest of my responses...
tl;dr, I know.

Quote :

"You all are ready to hang this guy, but no one else (I don't think,) has said or asked anything about whether the partners in these relationships know about or approve of the proposed polyamory."

You have missed what polyamory is. Note amor in the word. Same root as amory and amorous - the root word is love. A recurring thing and FWB are not polyamory. Polyamory happens with committed LTRs, not FWBs or booty calls.

Quote :

"You see, the phrase "committed relationship" does not mean "monoamorous relationship". Of course, like I said, I'm aware that people frequently mean "monoamorous" when they say "committed", but that isn't proper. Two of the main general reasons people misuse that phrase are: 1) All people simply repeat words they hear, never stopping to decide if they're "proper". And this, I understand. 2) A (religious and/or social) agenda to suggest that all "committed" relationships should be monoamorous. (Not acceptable) It's unfortunate that GoldenGirl wasn't more clear in the first post. However, since she hasn't corrected the screams of "Cheaters!!" "Burn Him" "Kill the Slut!!", I can reasonable assume that in this case, she is referring to actual cheating, wherein both partners are committed not only to the relationship, but also to being monoamorous. "

+1
(monoamorous isn't a word. Monogamy is the word you should be using here)

Quote :

"If that was the case, we wouldn't be seeing this thread. Nobody is gonna ask for permission to be a hussy if it's already been given."

Pretty much...and like Willy Nilly pointed out, GG hasn't bothered to say that it's not a monogamous relationship, so it's reasonable to assume that it is.

Quote :

"haha there are hot guys on tww they just don't post!"

You haven't looked in the 'let's see your beautiful face' thread

Quote :

"Please disregard all comments I have made in the past in regards to this person being a slut. This person is now officially awesome. This is a celebration bitches. Praise and admiration onto you."

Eh...when she's single, send her my way. Or when her man is okay with it.

Quote :

"Well I think that if the other girl knows that the guy has a girlfriend she should stay away, but if she wants to do it then go for it"

What you really just said here was "Who cares if the guy has a gf? Do what you want"

Quote :

"I mean if you're just dating there were not commitments there."

That is a very fallacious assumption.

Quote :

"Besides if your boyfriend is going to cheat on your wouldn't you rather him do it while you're dating instead of engaged or married?"

Yes...but that doesn't suddenly make the behavior any more palatable.

Quote :

"It's the guy that's gonna be the ass, the girl made no promises to the other girl (unless they are friends or something)."

It's not about what you owe the girl. It's about making the smartest choice possible, and not being an enabler to despicable behavior.

1/28/2009 12:17:35 PM

Quote :

"I love that I can say to my fiance...that guy over there. You mind if I proposition him? I'm bring him over to meet you here in a minute. The rules are the same for a man or a woman: Z wants to meet who I'm banging, and give his seal of approval. The rules are much the same for him as they are for me, although I'm a lot more flexible on meeting whoever he decides to do. With him traveling for work, I'd hate for him to have to take a pass on getting laid just because I'm not up there in Boston."

maybe one day you will be lucky enough to be in love with someone so much that you only ever want to be with them, and the thought of them with someone else would make you sick

seeing a post like this it is no surprise that you two are going through a rough patch

1/28/2009 12:21:50 PM

People like you are why most people keep their "deviations" under wraps.

1/28/2009 12:24:16 PM

wanting your fiance to pee on you is a deviation, being ok with him fucking other people means that you have issues and are not in love

1/28/2009 12:26:50 PM

haha thats bullshit. Just because its not your thing or your relationship can't handle it, doesn't mean people cant be in love and sleep around.

1/28/2009 12:37:20 PM

if you are really and truly in love you only want to be with that person

its ok though if you haven't experienced it yet, you will one day

1/28/2009 12:40:50 PM

I've thought about this for a while after watching friends in similar situations and experiencing some of this myself, and I must say I agree with pooljobs

Relationships like this never seem to work unless a child is involved, and fail often enough even with the anchor of a child that it would be fucked up to bring a child into it intentionally.

It also sounds like both people in the OP intend to cheat, hence the need to "protect an identity". Pretty despicable, they should just break up with their current boyfriend and girlfriend if they feel the need to sleep around behind their backs.

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 12:46 PM. Reason : .]

1/28/2009 12:42:34 PM

15/10

1/28/2009 12:46:14 PM

Are yall saying that it is not possible for anyone to separate love/sex? That no one has the ability to be deeply in love with someone and sleep with someone else with out problems.

1/28/2009 12:46:41 PM

coolio, you're just biting on the trollbait.

1/28/2009 12:47:37 PM

I bet it tastes delicious huh?

1/28/2009 12:49:17 PM

Quote :

"Are yall saying that it is not possible for anyone to separate love/sex?"

no, i am not saying that at all. what i am saying is that when you are in love, you don't want to. sure, there are temptations and you might even give into them, but if you are truly in love with someone doing that would make you feel so shitty that you would never want to again. when you are in love you only want to be with one person, sex becomes something so much more.

1/28/2009 12:51:53 PM

I don't doubt it's possible for some people to seperate love and sex. I think a lot more people think they can, and realize after a while that it fucked up everything they had. Why be greedy? Cherish what you have and focus on improving that.

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 12:56 PM. Reason : I'm also not trolling.]

1/28/2009 12:55:45 PM

Quote :

"what i am saying is that when you are in love, you don't want to."

What's true for some people isn't true for all folks.

Quote :

"when you are in love you only want to be with one person, sex becomes something so much more."

It does. And it's a different kind of sex.
...In addition to the casual fucks you might also have that are often pure physical pleasure. Or other LTRs on the side. It's not uncommon to have tiers of lovers.

Meaningful sex with your main partner is not mutually exclusive to other kinds of sex.

We get it: it's not your cup of tea, and you don't understand it.That's not a license to make it your place to come to conclusions about what it must mean for other people. I mean, no one can stop you from judging, but it's also not the best idea. You aren't walking in their shoes, and they aren't in yours.

Quote :

"Why be greedy? Cherish what you have and focus on improving that."

See, for once, I don't think you're trolling. You're not making personal attacks on others based on differences. Here, at least.

You can cherish what you have, and improve relations with your mate as much as you want. You can also work with others. Like I said: not mutually exclusive.
And what's your answer to when Partner A ardently wants something Partner B just can't deal with...and Partner A is deeply unsatisfied without it? Like, to the point of depression?
That's actually something that happens quite often, and I feel so sorry for folks in marriages who feel that cheating is the only way to get what they want.

Sex is pretty powerful: it brings couples really close, but sexual friction or dissatisfaction can ruin things in a heartbeat.

1/28/2009 1:02:02 PM

no, you've apparently never been in love. or are just so happy to be in any kind of relationship that you have convinced yourself that you are ok with this.

1/28/2009 1:06:29 PM

And that's the conclusion you've drawn, and you're welcome to do so. I just wanted to point out some of the flaws in your logic. Especially when making blanket statements.

1/28/2009 1:07:28 PM

Quote :

"People treat sex like a non-renewable resource and guess what? IT'S SO TOTALLY RENEWABLE and we can do whatever we want with it."

Quote :

"People treat sex like a non-renewable resource and guess what? IT'S SO TOTALLY RENEWABLE and we can do whatever we want with it."

Quote :

"People treat sex like a non-renewable resource and guess what? IT'S SO TOTALLY RENEWABLE and we can do whatever we want with it."

Quote :

"People treat sex like a non-renewable resource and guess what? IT'S SO TOTALLY RENEWABLE and we can do whatever we want with it."

1/28/2009 1:07:31 PM

Quote :

"I just wanted to point out some of the flaws in your logic."

and yet all you've done is show that you are in an unstable relationship and unhappy with yourself

interesting

1/28/2009 1:09:35 PM

Oh?

How's about you try backing up that assertion

1/28/2009 1:10:20 PM

http://tinyurl.com/bhuzrt

1/28/2009 1:11:24 PM

Meh.

1/28/2009 1:12:28 PM

jesus i cant read all this shit

1/28/2009 10:15:53 PM

DO IT!!!!!

1/28/2009 10:16:44 PM

Friends with benefits is NOT the same as being the girl he's using to cheat.

1/28/2009 10:17:07 PM

3 pages!? WOAH

1/28/2009 11:14:37 PM

pooljobs:

Quote :

"maybe one day you will be lucky enough to be in love with someone so much that you only ever want to be with them, and the thought of them with someone else would make you sick"

Quote :

"being ok with him fucking other people means that you have issues and are not in love"

Quote :

"if you are really and truly in love you only want to be with that person"

JESUS FUCKING CARLFACE
Seriously, this guy is either the stupidest fool I've encountered in a while, or he is trolling. How a college educated adult can hold any, let alone this particular "blanket statement" to be true, is beyond me.

And it's not just that he apparently disagrees, but he's got this self-righteous attitude:

Quote :

"it is no surprise that you two are going through a rough patch"

Quote :

"its ok though if you haven't experienced it yet, you will one day"

Quote :

"you've apparently never been in love. or are just so happy to be in any kind of relationship that you have convinced yourself that you are ok with this."

He is clearly either a moron or a troll and doesn't deserve any response, even this one.
I feel unclean even responding to such trash-thought.

ambrosia1231 put it well: (+1)

Quote :

"We get it: it's not your cup of tea, and you don't understand it.That's not a license to make it your place to come to conclusions about what it must mean for other people. I mean, no one can stop you from judging, but it's also not the best idea. You aren't walking in their shoes, and they aren't in yours"

....and if he can't understand that, why bother paying him any attention?

ambrosia1231:

Quote :

"You have missed what polyamory is....the root word is love......FWB are not polyamory. Polyamory happens with committed LTRs"

Semantics... I guess...
Polyamory can refer to FWB, NSA, LTR, swingers, group sex etc.*, and all combinations of those. It doesn't mean just one thing. It is an umbrella term. [*edit: some may or may not be polyamory]

Quote :

"monoamorous isn't a word."

LOL.... "monoamorous" is a word. (Why on earth would you suggest it isn't?)

Quote :

"Monogamy is the word you should be using here"

"monogamy", "polygamy", and other "-gamy" refer to structures and/or organizations, typically marriage, not mere relationships -- as I was referring to.

Quote :

"i did not read the thread but if you want to fuck someone else, why wouldn't you just break up?"

Perhaps because you and your significant other may discuss and decide to practice some form of polyamory. However, I'm guessing that you, like most others, simply assume that all relationships are (and/or should be,) monoamorous.

[Edited on January 29, 2009 at 7:21 AM. Reason : ]

1/29/2009 7:06:16 AM

all that multiple partner bullshit is for people that dressed up in costumes and fought each other with foam swords outside of the dorms in college, the people that never got laid in high school and then met other people in a similar situation in college and had tons of ugly sex or fat sex. you all are so happy to finally be in a relationship and have such poor opinions of yourself that you convince yourself that you are ok with this. its sick.

maybe one day you will feel better about yourself and will actually meet someone you can fall in love.

1/29/2009 7:26:30 AM

this thread is funnier than dane cook getting murdered by the zombie of bill hicks riding a unicycle

1/29/2009 7:28:05 AM