Seriously though, I wish I had a dollar for each time I heard a chick say "I give the best blowjobs. All of my exes have told me that."

Yeah, and all of my exes have told me I have a huge dick too, but I'm not stupid.

8/9/2010 2:08:38 PM

I don't even get why you'd say that anyway. Either you're 1) bragging to people you're just friends with, which is dumb or 2) saying it to someone you're going to attempt to prove it to, when if it WERE true it seems like it would be better to surprise him with that information anyway, and if it isn't true then he's going to be hella disappointed.

And of course he would still inevitably tell you that you were, indeed, the best because if he tells you you're not actually all that then you will never do it again.

8/9/2010 2:14:26 PM

i had a girl tell me she was the best too and then upon sucking it felt like she was literally trying to suck my organs out through my penis hole. i had to slap her on top of the head and tell her to calm the fuck down. I seriously thought i was about to get shang tsunged

8/9/2010 2:16:50 PM

^^ on point

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 2:17 PM. Reason : a]

8/9/2010 2:16:58 PM

^^haha

8/9/2010 2:17:53 PM

Y'all need to use one of those anonymous e-mail service things to send your exes a "hey you suck at BJs" e-mail.

8/9/2010 2:18:08 PM

i'm terrible at all sexual acts...

but i'm so enthusiastic and willing that i usually hope quantity overcomes quality

8/9/2010 2:18:29 PM

i, too, have had girl(s) say they were the best head-giver EVER

they lied.

troops died.

8/9/2010 2:18:35 PM

Quote :

"its always disappointing when the chick dont suck dick"

yeah, you

8/9/2010 2:20:31 PM

I have never come across a chick that didn't suck dick. I figured they all did, but maybe I have just been lucky

If she don't suck, we don't fuck

8/9/2010 2:22:48 PM

^^^^ enthusiasm goes a long way

Quote :

"it felt like she was literally trying to suck my organs out through my penis hole"

hahaha

i think that more suction is generally in order from most women, but I guess too much of a good thing might be uncomfortable.

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 2:23 PM. Reason : ]

8/9/2010 2:22:52 PM

Quote :

"I have never come across a chick that didn't suck dick."

Just wait until you get married

8/9/2010 2:24:29 PM

Quote :

"I have never come across a chick that didn't suck dick. I figured they all did, but maybe I have just been lucky If she don't suck, we don't fuck"

Well I sure have. Maybe it's just me...

8/9/2010 2:27:13 PM

add to my topics, i like this thread.


but yeah Duke, you are right usually it is lack of suction that is the issue. but this...this just wasn't natural

8/9/2010 2:27:43 PM

i like how it's pretty much mandatory that girls suck dick but it's only optional for guys to return the favor

/sarcasm

8/9/2010 2:28:00 PM

damn right

8/9/2010 2:28:50 PM

Quote :

"sometimes the flash from DROD900's camera across the room would really make for uncomfortable hook ups. but then i told them it was just his alarm clock."

wait, what?

8/9/2010 2:29:59 PM

Quote :

"sexual counters "

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 2:32 PM. Reason : .]

8/9/2010 2:31:43 PM

Quote :

"i like how it's pretty much mandatory that girls suck dick but it's only optional for guys to return the favor"

No, no, no...silly girl. You suck my cock...your snatch is gonna get the oral. It's not optional, provided you don't stink like the tuna fleet.

8/9/2010 2:32:01 PM

Quote :

"i like how it's pretty much mandatory that girls suck dick but it's only optional for guys to return the favor"

don't most girls just do this out of the feeling of obligation anyways?

8/9/2010 2:33:51 PM

They don't do it out of obligation...head is throwing you the bait, man. I've only met a handful that really enjoyed doing it...

8/9/2010 2:35:07 PM

i've seen some that will be all "oh im TOTALLY into it" and then spend like 15 nanoseconds down there and are done

8/9/2010 2:36:40 PM

Speaking of BJs

Best dome I ever got was from a girl with braces

Most people think this is a recipe for disaster, but if she knows what she's doing, and you get just the faint scrapes of metal on the underside of the glans and freneum, it will knock your fucking socks off

8/9/2010 2:37:28 PM

i don't do it out of obligation, i'm just saying in my experience, i have given way more than i've recieved

though tbh most guys don't know wtf they are doing anyway and it's better to just get to the bwning

8/9/2010 2:40:47 PM

i think you answered your question from before there.

8/9/2010 2:42:04 PM

It has been my experience that all girls give head until you get into a long-term relationship with them. Once they're pretty certain they've got you that is the first thing to go out the window.

Hmm. So I guess now that I think about it every experience over the past 2 years has been a disappointing sexual encounter

8/9/2010 2:42:39 PM

inbox

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 2:43 PM. Reason : dyswidt]

8/9/2010 2:42:40 PM

and its green omg

8/9/2010 2:43:46 PM

Quote :

"though tbh most guys don't know wtf they are doing anyway and it's better to just get to the bwning"

i am the clit commander

8/9/2010 2:44:22 PM

2 words


road

head

8/9/2010 2:45:35 PM

Quote :

"It has been my experience that all girls give head until you get into a long-term relationship with them. Once they're pretty certain they've got you that is the first thing to go out the window. Hmm. So I guess now that I think about it every experience over the past 2 years has been a disappointing sexual encounter"

I used to get head all the time. Then we got married and it was every once in a while. Then just on my birthday. Now, never.

8/9/2010 2:45:37 PM

Yeah, I don't ask for oral anymore because nobody has done it right. Just get to fuckin where I know that'll feel good as long as you can last more than a minute lol

8/9/2010 2:46:19 PM

So now I am curious. Guys, do you all think you're great at your end of the deal too? Apparently everyone just seems to think that.

8/9/2010 2:46:25 PM

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 2:47 PM. Reason : wtf oh shit server blah blah]

8/9/2010 2:46:25 PM

^^^^ that's crap. Completely unacceptable.

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 2:48 PM. Reason : ^^^^]

8/9/2010 2:47:33 PM

^^^ I've never had any complaints in the cunnilingus department.

^ You're telling me...

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 2:48 PM. Reason : *]

8/9/2010 2:47:55 PM

Quote :

"i don't do it out of obligation, i'm just saying in my experience, i have given way more than i've recieved though tbh most guys don't know wtf they are doing anyway and it's better to just get to the bwning"

I don't think you can go with the gender stereotype here. I, too, have given much more than I receive. Well, up until the latest GF.

8/9/2010 2:48:48 PM

duke is like DeltaBeta if we were married i would suck your dick all the time

8/9/2010 2:49:29 PM

I think it's funny Duke thinks not getting bjs anymore is unacceptable but it's perfectly okay for most men to not know how to lick a clit.

(He may not, just judging by his carats lols)

8/9/2010 2:51:47 PM

Quote :

"So now I am curious. Guys, do you all think you're great at your end of the deal too? Apparently everyone just seems to think that."

i know i'm great. and like someone above said, as long as your stuff is well kept and fresh i got no problem returning the favor.

8/9/2010 2:52:52 PM

so jesse...when are we hanging out?

8/9/2010 2:53:43 PM

^^^wait a minute, that was never even implied

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 2:55 PM. Reason : !!!]

8/9/2010 2:53:43 PM

Haha, this fucking guy..

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 2:54 PM. Reason : referring to ^^^]

8/9/2010 2:53:57 PM

^^^^Likewise, I always go down there unless they tell me not to. And then I start to wonder

Based on their reactions to what I'm doing down there I think I'm pretty good. I suppose they could be pretending...? When I'm getting head if it doesn't feel good I'll try to say something to make them change it up till it does feel good.

8/9/2010 2:57:26 PM

WATCH THE TEETH, BITCH

8/9/2010 2:57:58 PM

Quote :

" I seriously thought i was about to get shang tsunged"

Hahahahaha


Also, on the issue of women not giving head when they think theyve got you for life.... lawl! I've left relationships like that in the past, and I will again if need be.

8/9/2010 3:01:01 PM

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 3:03 PM. Reason : k]

8/9/2010 3:01:01 PM

lickin pussy aint rocket science

8/9/2010 3:01:49 PM

in this thread, we are all don fuckin juan demarcos

8/9/2010 3:01:49 PM

in this thread, we are all don juan fuckin demarcos

8/9/2010 3:01:49 PM