50 bucks Jeepin regrets this move down the road

Any takers?

3/15/2011 2:18:28 PM

I will only take that bet if you provide me an over/under on how long it will last

3/15/2011 2:21:28 PM

Are we talking how long he actually stays in the same house as her, or how long the relationship lasts? Because if I know Jeepin (and I think I do), he'll stay with her well beyond his normal realm of tolerance just to prove a point.

3/15/2011 3:27:29 PM

Quote :

"(and I think I do)"

lol

3/15/2011 3:29:36 PM

Say hi to Pattie and Randy for me

3/15/2011 3:37:46 PM

i just got deja vu

3/15/2011 3:45:54 PM

thread is a good read.. just ended a 2 year relationship recently, and the thought of moving in definitely crossed my mind earlier in the relationship. ha glad we didn't.

will read again, when it becomes relevant

3/15/2011 9:04:44 PM

the place we wanted was snaked out from under us

back to the drawing board

3/16/2011 9:16:17 AM

^ Epic sign.

3/16/2011 9:39:19 AM

eh, we knew it was a chance going into it. the other prospect's timeline was better than ours.

3/16/2011 10:44:01 AM

i'll have a downtown condo ready july 1 if yall are looking for around then PM me for more details.

3/16/2011 12:43:43 PM

Bump

8/7/2011 9:30:26 PM

i just read the entire thread today

i am joining this world soon

didn't know if any other people had new advice to add!

8/7/2011 9:39:09 PM

congrats, kadwackle! It's fun. Are y'all living in Raleigh?

I heart my bf more and more every day.

Living with someone makes you realize their intimate quirks. And love them more for it.

8/7/2011 9:49:16 PM

have him start practicing NOW putting down the toilet seat every time after peeing. falling into the toilet at 3am is never fun!

8/7/2011 9:51:45 PM

Train him to bring you wine in bed. First reward him with cookies, so it's a Pavlovian response. Then, eliminate the cookie reward and switch it with wheat thins.

8/7/2011 9:57:07 PM

^, ^^ LOLOL

yes, raleigh. a really cute house. i have never lived with an SO before and i haven't had a roommate in years haha. could be an adjustment

we've dated for 5 1/2 years though so hopefully it will just be kinda natural?! i guess we will find out! oh, life

8/7/2011 9:58:36 PM

My best advice is to have a scheduled girls' night once a week. Make sure to give each other a bit of space at first. This also helps you keep a good connection with your friends.

The big challenge is in balancing your time. I make sure to give my bf a majority of my time. But I still prioritize one night a week for gfs. He has time for his own things, and my friends don't feel abandoned.

Also, be sure to do a special "date" night once a week to keep the spark alive. Get him drunk and get him to reveal what he REALLY really likes. Even after 10 years, you could be surprised!

8/7/2011 10:06:00 PM

Also, read about the five love languages and put out at least once every two days.

8/7/2011 10:14:51 PM

once every two days? that works out to about 3x a week. but what if you do it 3x a week but it's like... 3 days in a row? is that bad?

8/7/2011 10:16:57 PM

Where's the advice for moving in with an insignificant other?

Oh wait... It was probably "don't do it"

Carry on

8/7/2011 10:19:00 PM

LOL

Moving in with an insig other = moving out on an insig other.

Best to be avoided, unless it's Hugh Hefner. In which case, enjoy bunnydom and get hour ph d in the meanwhile.

8/7/2011 10:27:07 PM

Quote :

"falling into the toilet at 3am is never fun!"

man i can't tell you how many times i've peed all over the toilet cover at 3 am b/c punchmonk put the seat down

[Edited on August 8, 2011 at 2:46 AM. Reason : srs]

8/8/2011 2:46:20 AM

If they're doing something that bothers you, let them know immediately (in a nice way). Little things can start adding up quickly.

8/8/2011 2:50:17 AM

Quote :

"Make sure to give each other a bit of space at first."

Everyone needs their space.

8/8/2011 8:35:00 AM

Plan a shower or kitchen prank to play on them and post it to youtube.

8/8/2011 8:37:39 AM

make sure yall talk about your future plans (nothing has to be concrete) in the sense that - a) do you guys want to get married, b) if so is there a game plan for that.....because if one person is expecting to get married and the other isn't and one is set with their opinion...well then that could be a disaster.

but i feel relationships in general need to have this conversation regardless.

i think i've mentioned this before but discuss bills, salary, etc etc. this is huge. my boyfriend and i discussed all of this prior and set up a plan for how we will split things prior to moving in. we've made adjustments to it since but most couples fight over two things: money and children.

8/8/2011 8:44:15 AM

If you can afford it, get a place with an extra room or rooms for your own activities. I was ready to kill everyone in my house, bf included, last year when I didn't have a room with a door, and people kept trying to talk to me while I was trying to study. My desk was in the bike room, and that didn't work so much when people were fixing stuff.

Kicking out one roommate, so we could get more space, was the best thing we ever did to increase our happiness. A former bedroom became my study/sewing room/band practice room, and I can shut the door whenever I need to work on creative projects, study, be by myself or have friends over for sewing. We also got a breakfast area back because I moved my sewing crap out of there.

I've learned if I'm going to hang out a lot with my bf at events and with the same friends, we need to balance it by having our own work areas. He has his own man cave for music and computer stuff, complete with a wall full of neatly hung cables. The man is incapable of putting away laundry neatly, but he spent hours hanging cables by size and type Lolz.

8/8/2011 9:22:26 AM

Quote :

"have him start practicing NOW putting down the toilet seat every time after peeing. falling into the toilet at 3am is never fun!"

i assume you're joking

8/8/2011 9:36:42 AM

Big Yerry is making a Big Mistake

Avoid living with your partner until marriage

Thats 101

8/8/2011 10:08:25 AM

Why buy the cow when you get the sex for free?

8/8/2011 10:31:33 AM

Sex loses its luster faster than you'd think, especially with the same person

Liken it to buying a fast car strictly for those precious few times when you get to really open it up on the highway

8/8/2011 10:51:58 AM

i don't know. i think living with someone before marriage is the way to do it (IMO anyway)

i have a lot of reasons for this thinking. but one of the biggest is i don't think people should get married because they want to live together. or have sex. or whatever. that shouldn't be a reason to get married. divorce is expensive (among other things). marriage is definitely not a commitment to be taken lightly, in my opinion. having had friends that got married at 22 and are already divorced. other things come with trial periods. anytime you buy something or make an investment you do research about it or are given a trial period. why would you treat your LIFE with any less thoroughness than the purchase of like, a microwave?! these are just my own personal opinions though. i understand people differ on this issue.

and yes, the house is 2bdrm. i was not going to do a 1bdrm place. that was just not in the cards. it isn't a huge house, but 2bdrm min. was pretty much a requirement. plus, people can stay over easier when they come visit! PLUS it has a giant fenced in yard for the doggy. and a shed that the landlord said we could make into a fancy doghouse haha (she does animal rescue so is all about the pets).

8/8/2011 12:28:09 PM

My boy and I don't have a good reason for getting married-we don't have kids, nor are planning on it, we both have health insurance, and we don't have significant assets or property together yet. He's already written me into his will (I'd put him into mine, but I don't have anything to leave him except for our dogs). Living together is, functionally for us, being married- we make financial and life decisions together, split the bills and rent, and fuss at each other like any other seriously committed couple does.

I've met his parents, they've met mine, his family minus his parents are awesome, and nobody's pressuring us to go down to the courthouse and make it official. I also don't want the stress, drama, or expenses associated with a wedding. I've recently started declining all but my closest friends' wedding invitations, because it quickly adds up in terms of time away from work, work-study and school, hiring a petsitter and dogwalker, and time away from creative/community responsibilities, as well as travel expenses. I send a nice wedding gift instead.

8/8/2011 2:00:16 PM

what stinks is we both can be messy but on different things so her messes piss me off and mine piss her off... so we're incessantly cleaning after each other but every no and then we get into a mexican standoff where no one does shit... until we both cave simultaneously and clean the whole place.


We really are the same person with different reproductive organs and other minor differences.

8/8/2011 3:05:29 PM

^ lol sounds like me and my husband.

8/8/2011 3:09:21 PM

Yeah I don't know who is the messier one in our relationship. We are both messy but about different things. Like I hate a messy kitchen and bathroom but will throw my clothes all over the bedroom floor lol. I also like making the bed. He thinks it's stupid. We will prob fight the most about who mows the lawn haha.

8/8/2011 8:39:49 PM

Quote :

"i assume you're joking"

yep. totally joking. i love sitting in the toilet bowl. and having guests walk into the bathroom to see the toilet seat up. yick.

8/8/2011 9:07:07 PM

I've been living with my GF for a year now... It's actually going very well!

We get a long great, we cook most nights of the week and she keeps the place clean.

I definitely recommend living with someone before marriage. You get a sneak peak of what your in for.

8/8/2011 9:37:46 PM

for our house in the US we had a maid service come in every other week because we fought about cleaning more than anything else - worth its weight in gold

for our apartment now we don't have a maid but on the plus side it's much smaller so i don't have as many places to throw stuff

8/8/2011 10:55:03 PM

i told my dad and it was totally not even a deal at all

i tried to do the whole "i respect your opinion" thing and he cut me off and was like, "you are 27 you can do whatever you want" and i was like NO LEMME FINISH I GOT THIS SPEECH ALL PLANNED OUT

basically he just asked if it was in a safe neighborhood. what the house was like. could he come over and see it. how long the lease was. how much i was paying. and then we talked about making a fall garden in the back yard. then he said it seemed like a good idea to him.

YAY. now i'm even more excited.

8/20/2011 10:36:44 PM

I graduated high school at 17 moved in with my gf (also 17) and have lived with her ever since. We are now happily married.

[Edited on August 21, 2011 at 1:06 AM. Reason : .]

8/21/2011 1:05:23 AM

^^ Your dad is cooler than my mom. She put the blinders on.

My (now) wife and I lived together soon after we met. Then I moved to Raleigh and she followed about a year later.

Before I moved, she essentially just stayed at my place all the time (still had her own place and whatnot, but kept clothes, toiletries, etc. at my place). When she followed me to Raleigh, she completely moved in with me. She didn't say anything at the time, but it turns out she felt as if she was imposing on me because I wasn't overtly accommodating. I didn't really care if she wanted to rearrange the closet, furniture, suggest things to get rid of, etc., but since I never really said that, she was always a little unsure.

So, my advice is: either move someplace new together, or, if you're going to move into someone's current home, make a point of being accommodating (be vocal and physically expressive about it).

8/21/2011 8:16:57 AM

Bttt

1/15/2012 1:33:27 PM

We moved in together on Dec 16, 2011 and are getting married on Jan 21, 2012. Pretty good so far.

1/16/2012 11:09:48 AM

this thread has made me feel bad about not cleaning.

brb, time to vacuum.

1/16/2012 3:53:56 PM

Quote :

"The current gf has made this the rule. And not even "engagement"...it has to be "engagement with a date set." I definitely agree though. I've had several girlfriends ask me to move in when things were going great, and I said "no" just because. Then several months later things would go sour and I would say to myself "thank god we weren't living together or I would be doubly miserable right now." As many marriages end in divorce these days, it makes sense to be wary about moving in with someone who is only a bf/gf."

i think the exact opposite

i think moving in with an SO is the only real way to see if you could tolerate and hopefully enjoy living with them for the next 60 years or til whenever one of you dies

i dont advocate moving in with someone or having someone move in with you just because they're your girlfriend, but i think living with someone for at least 6 months is a must in order to learn if you would want to spend the rest of your life living with them

if you live with someone for awhile, and things go sour, sure you'll be miserable while one of you moves out and moves on, but its better than something going sour after you're already married

As many marriages end in divorce these days, it makes sense to be wary about moving in with someone who is only a bf/gf marrying someone without having ever lived with them

1/16/2012 4:42:52 PM

now I remember why I don't vacuum.... our vacuum SUCKS (or doesn't, depending on how you look at it). I need vacuum recommendations. something not too expensive but gets up dog hair well.

but our bathroom is now bleached. I love bleach.

[Edited on January 16, 2012 at 4:46 PM. Reason : Dog Sit]

1/16/2012 4:44:54 PM

i have a bissell powerforce. it's decent, but i think this place will be forever haunted with black dog hair, even long after we've gone.

ALSO - still having toilet seat issues! should i even bother asking anymore?! i think NO

[Edited on January 16, 2012 at 4:57 PM. Reason : ]

1/16/2012 4:56:44 PM

u still moving to Greensboro?

^ stop asking. I have been living with my girl for over 2 years and she has just given up at this point. I am much better about putting it down, but I still forget sometimes.

[Edited on January 16, 2012 at 5:32 PM. Reason : a]

1/16/2012 5:30:23 PM