Quote :

"I have lost all pity for you with this comment "

Why? She made it to college, became an 'architect' but can't use a calculator to get two numbers out of it. On top of that she can not even read out loud. When I tried helping her with it, she would just become overwhelmed with guilt and start hitting me. That's BULLSHIT.

I don't need pity, she does. I can give you her email if you want to console her.



[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 2:33 PM. Reason : f]

3/9/2014 2:30:03 PM

Sorry

3/9/2014 2:30:04 PM

you did your wife's fucking homework for her and now are all "i dont understand why she won't support herself"

you're trolling so hard at this point i don't know why i'm bothering

3/9/2014 2:34:09 PM

I thought that I was helping her. I thought that she was going to get her degree and move on. She literally only had 4 math and english classes to take and then she would be done. By this point I was so deep in the relationship that I thought it was my only option.

My problem is that I grew up without parents and lived with legal custodians. So, I had nobody in terms of a parent to help me out with this or to warn me. Everybody was just happy that a guy like me could land a hot chick.

I am not trolling here, I am just trying to explain how and why I got things so wrong. And how I made everything seem so nice. I am sure that I am not the first married person to do that.



[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 2:41 PM. Reason : g]

3/9/2014 2:36:48 PM

because not having parents prevented you from stopping and thinking "oh, maybe these classes are required because she will actually need these skill sets to succeed in the field she is getting her degree in"

3/9/2014 2:41:33 PM

Quote :

"Why? She made it to college, became an 'architect' but can't use a calculator to get two numbers out of it. On top of that she can not even read out loud. When I tried helping her with it, she would just become overwhelmed with guilt and start hitting me. That's BULLSHIT. I don't need pity, she does. I can give you her email if you want to console her."

when portions of your life sound like the screenplay to a depressing lifetime movie, you need some help, otherwise you are part of the problem too. You have a son, got get help.

3/9/2014 2:42:17 PM

^^Oh don't you fucking jump on the dog pile. Does a chemical engineer actually need to learn King Henry IV? NO, it is just some requirement to bump up the tuition rates. It is not like I was finishing her model sets for her, that she did all by herself.

She is just a super hot chick that used her looks to ride through most of her life. This happens to lots of guys, and I am just glad that I realized it now.

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 2:47 PM. Reason : d]

3/9/2014 2:44:05 PM

It sounds like you made a mistake. In love and life, it happens. In fact, it happens to a lot of people, and they can take years to be honest about it

So it's awesome that you've recognized your blunder...but you're presently making the second mistake with all the badmouthing.

Don't do it yo! You can be way cooler than that!

You can be the bomb at divorce!

3/9/2014 2:46:04 PM

there is a difference between studying shakespeare and your wife being barely literate and not capable of doing 9th grade algebra bro

which is what you claimed

3/9/2014 2:46:11 PM

Yes, but I did not know about her literacy until later. We were in a pharmacy and she struggled to read Benadryl, at which point I nearly fainted. I tried to hide it so that she would not see it but she did. Later she told me that this has happened in all of her previous relationships and it gets worse every time.

I just hope to god that our kid does not have some learning dissability.

3/9/2014 2:49:59 PM

Quote :

"but you're presently making the second mistake with all the badmouthing. Don't do it yo! You can be way cooler than that!"

yah, but I am not badmouthing to her or anybody that actually knows 'us'. My internet Doppelganger is just venting. There has to be an exception there.

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 2:53 PM. Reason : d]

3/9/2014 2:52:34 PM

Wait. We're allowed to vent on here? I've been holding back this whole time because I want BigMan157 to find me attractive.

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 2:55 PM. Reason : So many things I need to get off my chest!]

3/9/2014 2:54:10 PM

You should dress up like a taco then

3/9/2014 2:54:46 PM

How do you marry someone without knowing their basic education level? I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't expect you to know your SO's GPA, but their general literacy level is pretty easy to discover within the first couple dates.

You gotta be a troll.

3/9/2014 2:54:51 PM

Quote :

" I just hope to god that our kid does not have some learning dissability. "

Are you fucking serious? Guys, yall posting in a troll thread.

3/9/2014 2:55:05 PM

nm

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 2:56 PM. Reason : g]

3/9/2014 2:55:35 PM

Quote :

"How do you marry someone without knowing their basic education level? I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't expect you to know your SO's GPA, but their general literacy level is pretty easy to discover within the first couple dates."

It is not that hard for people to hide problems that they have delt with their whole life. What she does is to resort to pitty, and since she is a pretty female she will always find a warm home to keep her company.

Also, one of her previous husbands was European, and all of the knowledge that she absorbed from him (and living in Western Europe) makes her come off as a stud in conversations about politics or culture. She is very clever, but academically not there.



[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 3:01 PM. Reason : d]

3/9/2014 2:59:32 PM

She's not that pretty

She is either clever or so stupid you are worried your child had a learning disability. She can't be both.

You are really bad at this (except I can't seem to stop myself from feeding the troll)

3/9/2014 3:01:37 PM

Quote :

"one of her previous husbands"

well there's yer problem

3/9/2014 3:02:29 PM

So why did you marry her if she would hit you and choke you?

3/9/2014 3:03:17 PM

Yeah. She'd have to be a 10 to put up with that shit and she's maybe a 6 on a good day.

3/9/2014 3:04:40 PM

Not a troll. She clearly has a problem with learning material from books or in a course. But, she is pretty competent at absorbing information that is told to her. It is quite a paradox. This girl could spend hours talking about the responsibilities of the European Union, but if you gave her a coppy of a Hemingway she could not read it out loud.

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 3:06 PM. Reason : f]

3/9/2014 3:05:41 PM

But she couldn't do math... And is an architect?

3/9/2014 3:10:18 PM

She never was an architect. That was a lie. She interned as a designer but basically picked out colors for a hair salon and then was let go.

3/9/2014 3:11:34 PM

sorry, dude...everything passes. try to move on and rebuild your life

also, to those of you who think he is trolling: I knew BanjoMan on at least an acquaintance basis some years ago, and he really, really, really didn't like the sort of person who would troll about a ficticious (or even real) marriage

3/9/2014 3:12:08 PM

^Thanks and I will. Perhaps this thread should be deleted.

3/9/2014 3:14:29 PM

Sounds like dyslexia. Its very possible that her whole life the learning disability was masked by a combination of her fear of looking stupid and other people caring more that she was pretty.

Get her to someone who is trained in helping people with learning disabilities. You aren't going to do shit to help her, and doing the work for her won't help either.

My best friend has severe learning disabilities. When we were kids he could barely read, failed or barely scraped by every class and was in several special ed classes for the mentally handicapped. He finally started getting help in middle school and high school.

He made under 900 on his SAT's, had a barely 2.0GPA, but went on to his BS in Mechanical Engineering, owns a bunch of real estate, got married and has a kid, and is more in control of his life than anyone else I know (myself included).

Quit with he pity and get the girl help. All the behavior and symptoms you mentioned line up with the dyslexic and ADD/ADHD kids of my own childhood.

3/9/2014 3:17:58 PM

Dude, I totally tried. Not going for pitty. I had a talk with her that she is smart but may need some help. I found a doctor for and paid about 15% of monthly salary for her to go, but all she does is complain about me so that people feel sorry for her. And when she is frustrated she starts hitting me and hitting herself, gives herself bruises and then calls the police to make it look like I did it.

This is everthing that you have seen in Silver Linings Playbook except that she IS NOT WILLING to help herself. All of the episodes and the irrationality are totally there, pluse she is a diagnosed bipolar schizophrenic that spent 2 months in a mental hospital. If you have walked in my shoes and have any other options, I am all ears.

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 3:23 PM. Reason : d]

3/9/2014 3:21:42 PM

Anyway, this is the last song that I recorded with my Banjo before it was destroyed. Can anybody check that it is accessible?

Written and performed by yours truly...

https://soundcloud.com/myvitruvianman/meet-me-in-hamburg

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 3:27 PM. Reason : d]

3/9/2014 3:25:37 PM

Your options are simple: stay, or leave. But make the decision and then follow through on it. Make the decision, and don't turn back. It sounds stupid, but the sheer act of making a decision and getting out of the waffling and self-pity stage you are in will do you worlds of good. Make a decision, and then start doing things to enact that decision. It's really that simple

3/9/2014 3:27:00 PM

Dude, this is nowhere near self pitty. Have you ever been to a woman's support group before? I am just a little pissed because my only option has been either sleeping in a chemistry building or prolonging a defunct relationship. If she had her own income and could leave then I would be all smiles.

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 3:29 PM. Reason : f]

3/9/2014 3:29:04 PM

How many times has she been married?

3/9/2014 3:31:51 PM

^^I am her third. Her first was a fiver year long pleasantry that ended in a disaster. Basically her husband divorced her because she cheated on him and broke his heart. They were deeply in love and she was open to him about it or some shit like that.

Quote :

"Sounds like dyslexia. Its very possible that her whole life the learning disability was masked by a combination of her fear of looking stupid and other people caring more that she was pretty. "

Does not explain her problems with learning. It is beyond just speaking. But, I am not a professional of course and I am sure that somebody that had evaluated her would have considered it.

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 3:36 PM. Reason : d]

3/9/2014 3:34:35 PM

You don't need to give a fuck about anything else right now. Don't care about women's support groups, don't care about what she'll do without you, don't care about what she's done in the past. You need to make a decision about what's best for you and what's best for your son. Seriously, fuck every other thought in your head or excuse or concern. Figure out what the hell you want to do, make the decision, look at yourself in the mirror, accept it, and do it. The fact is, neither choice is going to be cake and ice cream, which is why you need to make a decision and then start working towards making that happen.

3/9/2014 3:35:14 PM

^This.

This just isn't about you, this is about your child. Document everything, take your kid, and get the fuck out. Now.

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 3:39 PM. Reason : She has no money/job by CHOICE and you are ALLOWING her to create a harmful environment for your son]

3/9/2014 3:36:30 PM

you married some coon from Jamaica? you should have seen this coming, bro

3/9/2014 3:38:05 PM

Can't do it, don't know how. I should have listened to acraw a long time ago.

Anyways, has anyone tried the song yet? I think that it is one of my bestests songs.

3/9/2014 3:38:07 PM

I will have this thread deleted and shut up if at least one person will listen to the damn song. That is my deal. Please do it for Der KugelWächter (my banjo). May he rest in peace.

3/9/2014 3:40:16 PM

You'll never know how you are going to do it until you make the decision. That is step 1. Don't worry about anything else, just do step 1. Step 1 is making the decision. Bust out some paper and a pencil and write down pros and cons to each choice. Review it, sleep on it, then make a decision. Once you make a decision, you'll have ownership and clarity of thought that this is the way you want to go, and you'll start seeing how to make hit happen. But you won't have ANY of that until you make a decision, and right now, you haven't made a decision.

3/9/2014 3:42:55 PM

Thought about getting help for yourself? Serious question.

3/9/2014 3:43:19 PM

Quote :

"Can't do it, don't know how."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I hope you're trolling. Otherwise you're a pussy ass bitch who gets what he deserves.

3/9/2014 3:43:30 PM

^^ that's step 2, btw, lol

3/9/2014 3:43:56 PM

I love the banjo. <3 I liked it.

3/9/2014 3:44:22 PM

^^^In terms of documentation. I don't have any recordings or video tapes, and she would not let me file anything with her therapists. I could file a letter with an attorney but I don't have one. The only documentation that I have is this and other threads.

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 3:45 PM. Reason : s]

3/9/2014 3:44:54 PM

Shes not pretty. You felt special because shes brown. You married a baby momma, NEVER MARRY A BABY MOMMA

3/9/2014 3:45:53 PM

^^^Thanks. I will have to switch to guitar for at least a couple of years. That sucks, but maybee it will give me a different sound or something.

^No. she is pretty. There are 2 pics of here in my gallers. One was a headshot of her in a slutty halloween outfit, and the other is 2 weeks after giving birth. Find me a photo of a mother 2 weeks after borth that looks better than that.

BTW, was it mentioned in this thread that she threw my 1,000 $ banjo out the door today? I think that may be the main reason that I am pissed. I don't have 100$ now that I could use to buy another one, or even to get it repaired (if that is possible).

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 3:49 PM. Reason : f]

3/9/2014 3:46:24 PM

Quote :

"I am her third. Her first was a fiver year long pleasantry that ended in a disaster. Basically her husband divorced her because she cheated on him and broke his heart. They were deeply in love and she was open to him about it or some shit like that."

So you say this is her third.

and in this thread
http://thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=640416&page=1#15985832

You say this

Quote :

"I was in this situation with my current wife for about two years before we got serious. It does sound like she is not willing to switch teams and is trying to just string you along for more fun and favors. If you are interested in trying to lock it down, the main thing is to just keep the ball in her court by telling her how you feel and try to avoid switching to ultimatums. I have found that women care more about feelings and such than guys give them credit for, and dishing out ultimatums comes off as insensitive and a lot of women will not respond well to that. But, if I were you I would be throttling down on the high hopes and enthusiasm right now. The other thing is to ask yourself what you want out of it. Do you want something serious? Actually, this sort of fucked up situation worked out well for my wife and myself because I did not want a serious relationship, and she was not ready to start a whole new serious relationship, so we were in this two year limbo of messing around and being romantic while at the same time realizing that it was fragile and not stable. It actually took a lot of pressure off of us knowing that she was going home to bone her bf, and I could focus on grad school without having to tend to her every fucking need. I also never felt guilty about pursuing some weekend crush and having fun with other girls. Also, a word of warning to you because it happened to me, I was not the only 'other' guy. There ended up being somebody else in the picture that neither myself nor her bf knew about. Again, it didn't really bother me because I was already aware of the situation, but it was a surprise. "

So you were the other guy in her second marriage and she got divorced because of you.

Either you're trolling, or you need serious help

3/9/2014 3:48:59 PM

bitch is a chimp, bro

3/9/2014 3:49:46 PM

^^Sorry, she was with another guy for 4 years and it was never clear to me if they were technically married or not. She was never honest about it because she was a little ashamed I guess. But, regardless it was a 4 year relationship where they lived together and shared car bills, house bills and 3 animals.

Any more bites at the song? It is not that bad for a demo. Please be friendly with all of your comments.

[Edited on March 9, 2014 at 3:53 PM. Reason : s]

3/9/2014 3:51:31 PM

dude, stop your caviling. stop worrying about how you'll get documentation, stop worrying about her therapist, STOP WORRYING ABOUT HER. think about yourself. think about what's best for you and what's best for your son. Then make a decision. Don't think about the past, don't think about what you had, and for fuck's sake, stop thinking about a damned banjo. Think about your future and your son's future, and make a decision.

3/9/2014 3:53:02 PM