Quote :

"I'm late to lunch (not that late) and he gets in the car and says to me, "The next time I tell you what time to be somewhere, you BETTER be there AT THAT TIME." That's a good way to make me even later next time, buddy "

Nothing beats passive aggressive behavior for dealing with conflict in a relationship.

7/29/2011 10:05:59 PM

Quote :

"I am ---close to turning this thread into The official complain about ThePeter/saps852 thread."

Way ahead of you . Except for the saps part, no complaints there

7/30/2011 12:15:23 AM

dudes, fyi, asking a girl to go fuck you in a bathroom is a great way to make her want to never see you ever again

not the best date I've been on

7/30/2011 12:24:38 AM

Guy must not of hit it right

7/30/2011 12:26:50 AM

the bathrooms in Vegas casinos would be baller hookup spots.

7/30/2011 12:42:20 AM

is it okay to ask your wife that?

7/30/2011 12:45:05 AM

what are you asking my permission for? I'm not her pimp.

7/30/2011 12:57:28 AM

He won't clean up after his cat or himself. If I ask he'll say he'll clean up, then leaves to go have fun with his friends.

7/30/2011 6:56:48 AM

^^ i don't think he was asking about your wife

it was a general question in response to dropdeadkate

but i have been wrong before

7/30/2011 7:06:24 AM

ddk, I have clean bathrooms, wanna fuck?

7/30/2011 8:27:08 AM

my bad. He wanted to fuck in a public bathroom. As in a gross dirty bar stall. How about ew.

Sorry for the confusion

7/30/2011 9:38:17 AM

wtf gross

Did he have a shot before the proposition?

7/30/2011 9:40:02 AM

Yea actually he did. Oh well

7/30/2011 9:44:14 AM

Quote :

"what are you asking my permission for? I'm not her pimp."

dat eleusis gold

7/30/2011 9:46:34 AM

LOL that's a classic eleusis line. He's been using it for at least ten years now.

7/30/2011 9:50:07 AM

lol

7/30/2011 10:35:04 AM

was travelling for business for 2 weeks on our credit card, casually mentions there's like 4 grand on it. few hours later stops me from ordering medical supplies but refuses to answer any questions about what he charged and leaves to go smoke a cigarette

8/7/2011 12:16:41 AM

wtf? He'd rather smoke than let you order medical supplies?
Can't you see recent expenditures online somehow?

8/7/2011 2:07:15 PM

Tha fuck?

8/7/2011 2:10:55 PM

Quote :

"I'm late to lunch (not that late) and he gets in the car and says to me, "The next time I tell you what time to be somewhere, you BETTER be there AT THAT TIME."

I haven't been in a relationship in a few years but I'm such a hypocrite with this. When I get focused on something you'd better not miss the timeline . . . I won't lash out but I'll get quietly spooled up and the whole day / evening / weekend will be off to a bad start.

But I've also got a bad habit of being 90% ready and then getting distracted by something utterly pointless and then realizing that now I'm going to be late. Never more than a minute or two but I hate being late regardless.

I fail at life

8/7/2011 2:28:36 PM

You mean like oversleeping for a full day's activity?

8/7/2011 2:31:17 PM

No, that was a genuine mistake. I'm more talking about having everything but my socks and shoes on and getting distracted by some stupid argument on TSB or responding to comments on CNN.

8/7/2011 2:43:53 PM

Quote :

"He'd rather smoke than let you order medical supplies?"

... that is a little misconstrued- more like he'd rather not deal with the argument right then and went outside to smoke. His smoking has nothing to do with her medical supplies- it is just a distraction from the problem at hand

8/7/2011 2:44:32 PM

Quote :

"And hey guess what, we had an adult conversation about it and I didn't even get a black eye this time."

FTFY

8/7/2011 3:37:06 PM

He's constantly trying to convince me to skip work and play golf or go to the beach with him. Bad influence.

8/7/2011 3:40:56 PM

Send him my way when you have to work. Though there will be none of this:

8/7/2011 3:55:01 PM

LOL! Actually, that's a good idea. He needs more guy friends who golf.

He did convince me to play hooky from work next Friday to go to his family's beach house for a long wknd.

But he always forgets that when I work from home, I still have to actually work. God forbid.

8/7/2011 4:01:07 PM

What kind of work is he in with that kinda flextime?

8/7/2011 4:10:24 PM

Retired pro tennis player

Also works for his fam's insurance biz, but that's flex

8/7/2011 4:13:12 PM

Quote :

""And hey guess what, we had an adult conversation about it and I didn't even get a black eye this time." FTFY"

Considering I'm going to be starting taekwondo and some crazy self defense moves and kicks, he would be an idiot to give me a black eye plus, I know he wouldn't do that. He just likes to act so tuff sometimes

8/7/2011 6:59:35 PM

He doesn't really respond to little affectionate things I do for him. I mean, I'll get an "aww. *kiss*" but that's really about it. Some more recognition would be nice. I guess I just don't feel like he appreciates everything.
I mean, it's nothing big, but just things like leaving him presents or something in his bag he takes to work or love notes or breakfast in bed or something.
I know he's not the most affectionate guy and he really doesn't know how to respond to some things, but some sort of recognition or reciprocation would be nice. If I asked him about it he'd probably say something like "well things like that are just things you do."
I dunno.
:sigh:

8/7/2011 10:44:08 PM

you two need to read this book

8/7/2011 10:45:35 PM

I think making sure he spends some amount of time is his best way of showing he cares.

This reminded me of him a bit... >.>

8/7/2011 10:51:52 PM

Quote :

"If I asked him about it he'd probably say ... "

If it bothers you, you need to tell/ask him about it so he at least knows. It's not fair to him for you to be moping about it on the side with him thinking everything's peachy while you're growing resentment for the things he doesn't do.

8/7/2011 10:57:15 PM

Everyone should read that book. A lot of great information in there about how different people express love. It completely opened my eyes to my wife's need to just spend time with me. Which i never understood. It is especially useful for men.

8/7/2011 10:57:59 PM

^^^^

Or save yourselves the time and take this test:

http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp

And realize that the way you communicate isn't the same way that other people communicate, and you have to have empathy to get along with other people for a prolonged period of time, mate or otherwise.

8/7/2011 11:33:44 PM

^ Just looked over that...
There's honestly no way I can answer it honestly or choose between the two.
I adore spending time with him more than anything, but I go the extra step of little gifts and going places where he does not. I know I should ask, I would just feel bad or greedy saying "hey do things for me".

8/8/2011 11:40:35 AM

Sounds like yuffie_chan has some impossible expectations for her significant others to live up to. Sounds like she will never be able to be satisfied and nothing will ever be good enough to make her happy to the point she stops complaining.

8/8/2011 12:52:46 PM

^ i dont think she has impossible expectations but yuffie you need to realize that as women, we expect things differently than what a guy would expect.

if you are getting upset because he's not reciprocating on doing little things for you, getting you gifts, dropping notes, etc etc like you are for him and it's bothering you - stop doing it. being in a relationship isn't a game of who does what and how many times. it's silly to be like, "well i wrote you a love note and i didn't get anything in return" because it sounds like you're more hurt that he doesn't reciprocate and do the same for you as you do for him.

but if you like doing things for him because you enjoy doing it, don't stand there expecting something in return every time.

in short: quit making everything a game or your relationship is going to lose.

8/8/2011 1:02:16 PM

i realized a long time ago that exactly what ^ is accurate.

if you're expecting something in return all the time, you're most likely not going to get it.

8/8/2011 1:04:34 PM

i know when i first moved in with my boyfriend, i would be like, "i vacuumed, and did the laundry twice, and emptied the trash 3 times, and walked the dog 15 times" and then i realized how stupid i sounded because it's not a game of who can do more. it also caused a lot of petty fights in the beginning. i will admit that sometimes i still get a tad frustrated but we're in this together and there's plenty that he does that might not be visible for just anyone to see but that he does.

8/8/2011 1:06:29 PM

Quote :

"Sounds like yuffie_chan has some impossible expectations for her significant others to live up to. Sounds like she will never be able to be satisfied and nothing will ever be good enough to make her happy to the point she stops complaining."

I don't complain about it, I haven't said anything, I said that originally. You're actually being kind of a dick for saying that, I never demand things from him, I don't complain about things, and he's wonderful to me. I am happy with him. I'm just saying on here that it would be nice, as this is a thread to complain, and I know he'll never see it. I know he's not like that and I know we have different ways of showing we care for each other.

I guess I didn't clarify part of what's frustrating... it's more that he says he's going to do things like that, but doesn't. I just surprise him with things instead, where he doesn't do surprises, and he tells me about things he would do but never does them.

Not seeming really appreciative is a kind of peeve I guess, it's not as much of a big deal with me as I made it out to be, I just came on here to rant for a minute.
Sorry if the previous post made me sound like a greedy bitch.

8/8/2011 2:33:25 PM

If it's enough to make you complain on an internet message board, it is enough to bring up in a relationship.


Also, doesn't he read this?

8/8/2011 2:36:01 PM

Quote :

"he's wonderful to me. I am happy with him"

i thought he was a habitual liar and it pissed you off....

shrug

8/8/2011 2:44:58 PM

Going back and deleting everything is a weak way of dealing with this, but I guess it'll make people shut up for a few.
Sorry I'm too grumpy.

[Edited on August 8, 2011 at 3:04 PM. Reason : ]

8/8/2011 2:45:24 PM

^ so now you're abusing him?

honestly, he needs to get that lying issue checked out ASAP.

8/8/2011 2:50:33 PM

Quote :

"I don't complain about it"

Oh, you don't, do you? I believe this thread, 3 pages deep now of you complaining, proves otherwise.

8/8/2011 2:51:26 PM

lol@smacking him around

8/8/2011 2:51:38 PM

Speaking on behalf of men everywhere, yuffie chan sounds like a horrible girlfriend.

8/8/2011 2:53:14 PM

Going back and deleting everything is a weak way of dealing with this, but I guess it'll make people shut up for a few.
Sorry I'm too grumpy.

[Edited on August 8, 2011 at 3:03 PM. Reason : ]

8/8/2011 2:53:48 PM