It isn't what you want. It is what the court thinks your child needs. The baby is an infant, and mom has a job and you have no source of income. You are not looking too good. You also called the kid a "consequence" of marriage.

2/12/2013 1:51:45 PM

You have pretty much a 0% chance of getting anything other than weekend visits with this kid if she divorces you, and you'll have to pay lots of money to help her better afford to raise it.

Better fix things up with her quick unless you want to eat ramen for the next 22 years.

2/12/2013 1:58:16 PM

id feel more sorry for shoot if he wasnt a gimmick account

2/12/2013 2:02:08 PM

I don't have time to think about this. Money is everything.

2/12/2013 2:02:58 PM

Why does she need sympathy? I don't want to get divorced, simply because it's not good for the baby. It's her who raises this issue seriously.

2/12/2013 2:07:06 PM

shoot when was the last time you were intimate with your wife? What positions did you use during coitus (i hear missionary puts women in a bad mood)? Did you cuddle afterwards?

I think these are your problems.

2/12/2013 2:14:34 PM

Wrong!
I have never had sex with her since last October because she was in her final stage b4 delivery. And now she should be OK, but I can't arouse her desire by massage or other methods. She's always tired. I'm waiting for the V-day. She should have no excuse by then. It has been 2.5 months after the delivery. She should have fully recovered now.

2/12/2013 2:23:17 PM

make sure you stick it in her butt, azn women love that

2/12/2013 2:34:31 PM

In her butt? From asshole? OK, I'll try.
I like that too.

BTW: What does blonde like? I'm just curious.


[Edited on February 12, 2013 at 2:46 PM. Reason : add another note]

2/12/2013 2:40:59 PM

Shoot, I think your best bet is a nice set of flowers from the food lion.

Best of luck to you

2/12/2013 3:20:45 PM

You mean on the V-Day? I'll think about that.

2/12/2013 3:40:25 PM

haha TMI ITP

2/12/2013 4:02:54 PM

Give her a V.D on V.D

2/12/2013 4:04:03 PM

my suggestion solves all problems. man up

2/12/2013 4:08:03 PM

^^ ^^^What are the acronyms for?

2/12/2013 4:27:48 PM

what the hell is an acronym?

2/12/2013 4:38:08 PM

Dude you are screwed in this one. You've already fucked up too much and lost her attention.

When I'm with a girl I let her know she can leave anytime she wants to. That's what keeps them from leaving. The minute you ask them to stay you're doomed.

And I think Trent would tell you if you were twice the man you could be, you'd still be half of what she needs

2/12/2013 4:38:11 PM

^

2/12/2013 4:39:48 PM

Quote :

"That's what keeps them from leaving. The minute you ask them to stay you're doomed."

When someone frequently hangs it over your head that they'll leave you / divorce you, it's quite likely that they'll freak out if you leave them. If shoot is to be believed, she may have more to lose than he does. Maybe the ILs would then take responsibility for the kid and fuck him/her up royally.

Shoot is still probably a horrible husband. His lack of self-awareness is downright hilarious and his life is clearly a disaster. I look forward to future updates.

2/12/2013 4:47:43 PM

Quote :

"I have never had sex with her since last October"

2/12/2013 4:53:28 PM

You r kidding. My raising this issue for suggestions doesn't mean that my life is a disaster. Of course not. Everybody has his own problem. I just put it on tdub.

2/12/2013 4:53:35 PM

Quote :

"In her butt? From asshole? OK, I'll try. I like that too."

if your marriage doesn't work out, PM lewisje

2/12/2013 4:55:44 PM

Quote :

"I just put it on tdub."

Instead of having talk with wife. I suggestion you have sitting down with her. Taking her out to nice meals while ILs take care baby will be nice and tell her how you feel. Come up with plans together and stop resent from growing.

2/12/2013 5:00:35 PM

That's a really nice way. I like that.

2/12/2013 5:10:06 PM

El oh freaking el.

2/12/2013 5:13:59 PM

Minka just won this thread.

2/12/2013 5:34:20 PM

face, what do u mean? Women are so much like bitches that they are never satisfied for what u do for them?

BTW: the MIL is pretty evil. She knows I have a trouble about OPT from my wife, and she keeps laughing like ha, you won't make it!

[Edited on February 12, 2013 at 6:09 PM. Reason : add another note]

2/12/2013 5:53:01 PM

After reading through 3 pages of this thread it's clear the your are the source of your own problem here. Your wife and your MIL seem to just amplify the issues.
It doesn't seem you understand women very well, particularly your wife
You made the decision to have a child for reasons other than the two of you wanted to start a family

Your best bet is to hope to survive until your ILs are gone, then get you and your wife into counseling. You'll need to realize that counseling isn't just about talking things out either. You and she will have some issues that need to be addressed which will require action from both parties.

In the meantime if I were you I'd do everything I could to make her happy.
And if she is suffering from, I'd get it checked out quick. PPD can be a real stress on every relationship she has, so help her to seek treatment. I've had a friend who was eventually hospitalized for PPD, its not something that you can ignore and think will get better.

2/12/2013 6:17:23 PM

Why do you think i'm the source of problem? Please elaborate.

2/12/2013 6:26:16 PM

These are the clues for what I've seen (all quotes from you)

I don't get the impression you hold your wife in a high regard. You talk about her more like a problem room mate than someone you love, but don't feel the same love back.

Quote :

"Not many men can tolerate her aggressiveness She IS using me. That's the fucking reality She grew up in a poor countryside county in China. So that's maybe where her cold-heart attitude is from."

You've equated your commitment to her through the sacrifices the YOU make for HER. In marriage there is only shared sacrifice. If you hold these as reason as to why your wife shouldn't feel contempt for you, then it's no different than if you were angry with a mail order bride for not living up to her price.

Quote :

"I sacrifice a lot for her already. I brought her from China, and relocated from CT to NC for her I've sacrificed my career for her A LOT"

You seem to put your own interests above your family's, though from what I've read, this has changed some since you're no longer pursuing an academic career. I can only assume you are now job searching.

Quote :

"I pursue my academic career for too long. That causes the trouble."

You made the decision to have a child for the wrong reasons. The only reason to have a child should be because you and your wife are in a strong place and want to start a family. Children can strengthen strong relationships and tend to tear apart weak ones.

Quote :

"The baby is just a consequence of 5 yrs of marriage. She's 30 already. She need to give birth to a baby now. Otherwise, she's too old."

You seem to have an odd sexual relationship with your wife. You can have intercourse up to the point of water breaking. In fact it's pretty common for couples to get it on to help induce labor. And you can have sex 6 weeks after a delivery after a doctor has checked everything out and given the OK.

And If you think your wife has to use excuses to not have sex with you, then you're probably not getting the job done. Women tend to enjoy sex, so for your wife to avoid it would tell me she sees it more as a chore than enjoyment.

Quote :

"I have never had sex with her since last October because she was in her final stage b4 delivery I'm waiting for the V-day. She should have no excuse by then"

And finally. I can't imagine being a good person would mean talking to/about women the way you do. Even in joking I wouldn't consider calling a woman (whether your wife or your MIL) a bitch, or hitting on women or their friends during a discussion of your broken marriage the acts of a good husband.

Quote :

"This bitch brings me a lot of troubles so far. BTW: What does blonde like? I'm just curious. Your legs are so sexy. I like them"

If I were you I'd commit to working hard to repair my marriage. Prepare to listen to her and take action where she needs it. This is the best way to get her to listen to you and address your concerns.

or..
Give her the divorce. If fixing a marriage seems to difficult and you're unwilling to make the changes you'll need to produce a happy marriage then you'd be better off as a poor man with control of his life and a shot at happiness than a broken man in a loveless marriage who's unwilling to fix it.

And I'd only take advice on divorce, child support and child custody from a lawyer. Its not always guaranteed that she'll get full custody, and if she's the bread winner in the family and it's understood that you are the child care provider you may have some arguments in your favor. People in this thread may have experience in similar cases, but every case is going to be different, including yours. However, this thread will not be in your favor if it ends up in court.

[Edited on February 12, 2013 at 7:00 PM. Reason : ]

2/12/2013 6:58:24 PM

how much fucking proof do you guys need? he isnt real!

Quote :

"In her butt? From asshole? OK, I'll try."

nobody, i mean nobody, is this asian.

2/12/2013 7:54:46 PM

^^ I don't think it's that uncommon to marry out of convenience in the asia countries.

2/12/2013 8:03:20 PM

^^haha agreed

wonky grammar/language

but knows "MIL", "ILs", and "postpartum depression"

2/12/2013 8:17:42 PM

^^^^ How do u define love? Love is dramatic but marriage is very realistic. It's about compromise and sacrifice. It's just about two ppl staying together for win-win situation.
I'm busy job searching, so I don't have much time to handle this family issue. As long as it's not affecting my career pursuit, I can tolerate it. At this stage, I don't want to get divorced. Because I don't have energy to argue with her.



[Edited on February 12, 2013 at 8:51 PM. Reason : I know u r married now.]

2/12/2013 8:24:23 PM

omg

2/12/2013 9:10:43 PM

shoot you need to get yourself a "my buddy" doll and get her a "kid sister."

you need to both hold hands while singing their respective theme songs.

this will make everything work out in the end.

2/12/2013 11:12:54 PM

what are my buddy doll and kid sister?

2/12/2013 11:22:49 PM

2/12/2013 11:34:29 PM

So she can't bear my snore and sleeps separately with me now. I don't care about that.

2/12/2013 11:41:51 PM

Quote :

"if your marriage doesn't work out, PM lewisje"

lol no

shoot should just shoot himself now and get it over with

2/13/2013 12:11:04 AM

feel free to post nudes of soon ex in chitchat.

2/13/2013 12:23:40 AM

smc sent me a PM advising me to get rid of what I just said a couple posts ago

but unfortunately I had to reboot my computer following some Windows Updates, so I didn't even read the PM until it was too late to do that

2/13/2013 1:34:35 AM

^ good, because it shows what a mean person you are.

how would you like it if someone said the same thing to an LGBTXYZ person? you would call them a homo/trans/bi-phobe and have a low opinion of them.

but sure, you can tell someone to shoot themselves because they are having serious problems with their spouse and their immigration status. and you also said he loses at life in another thread.

ironic how you go around preaching tolerance and respect....

2/13/2013 4:00:32 AM

I post things like this not because of who he is but because of what he did.

2/13/2013 4:05:30 AM

and what did he do?

and anyway, whatever he did, is it so bad that he deserves death?

btw, it is obvious that you have misunderstood me. you think i am accusing you of racism. no. regardless of the reason you posted what you did, what you posted is mean, insulting, intolerant, and disrespectful.

so yes, still ironic that you go around preaching tolerance and respect.

2/13/2013 4:12:21 AM

I'm also convinced it's a fake account at this point.

Waiting for the wife's account to appear and complain that we drover her husband to kill himself. Brilliant.

2/13/2013 7:10:17 AM

yeah, this shit is dumb

obvious alias

but minka's post did have me rolling, haha

2/13/2013 7:48:03 AM

Alias

2/13/2013 9:05:26 AM

How do u convince me that you are not aliases?

2/13/2013 9:43:29 AM

I didn't know the asian massage places paid that much.

2/13/2013 9:52:10 AM