are you trying to justify kissing someone who isn't your SO? just curious

[Edited on August 14, 2013 at 2:18 PM. Reason : whatever works for ya. who am i to judge?]

8/14/2013 2:18:02 PM

Quote :

"My GF has several friends that give me a peck on the lips to say hello/goodbye. And my GF gives a few of my friends a peck on the lips to say hello/goodbye."

I think this is incredibly weird and uncommon.

Quote :

"Women, on the other hand, don't have clear or rational reasons for who they let fuck them. If a man said it was okay for her to fuck everyone he worked with, the woman is just as likely to fuck an entry-level associate as she is to have sex with the CFO. I'm sure you all know a girl who is hot as fuck and could basically have her pick of the litter yet usually only fucks unemployed losers."

what??? No.

8/15/2013 1:23:26 AM

^ it's really not that uncommon.

My dad kissed everyone good bye (cultural thing)

Creeped me out tho.


For me the line is what you wouldn't want your so to find out about is cheating.

8/15/2013 6:35:49 AM

guy friend i work with - lots of mixed signals, but we are just friends. we're both married. not always happily married, but we're both married. we dont kiss or anything but theres some flirting and the occasional physical contact. like the other day, i told my husband that slenderman sat on my lap at work. and he didnt care. and i told him that slenderman faked me out with a hug, and when he had his arms around me, he then decided to whip out a justin beiber perfume sample and rub it all over my back and hair. and hubby didnt care.

so i think it does depend on who youre with. i'm pretty sure if i went home and said slenderman kissed me, hubby would not be too happy.

but at the same time, relationships have a physical contact component, that when not met, can lead to the eyes straying, then the hands straying, then even the mouth straying.

8/15/2013 7:19:18 AM

Just fuck the dude and get it over with.

8/15/2013 7:24:11 AM

threads just about kissing, i thought ^

8/15/2013 7:32:48 AM

Yeah I've seen this before. You two are going to fuck.

8/15/2013 8:09:08 AM

Quote :

"A combination of the words wedlock and lease. Two people commit themselves to a marriage, to a written contract for a period of years. One year. Five years. Ten years. Whatever term suits them. The marital lease can renewed at the end of the term, however many times the couple likes. It could end up lasting a life time if the relationship is good and worth continuing. But if the relationship is bad the couple can go their separate ways at the end of the term they've chosen. The messiness of divorce is avoided and at the end, it can be as simple as moving out of a rental apartment."

this is really gross. about as bad as staying in an unhappy marriage

contract-based "love"

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 8:31 AM. Reason : .]

8/15/2013 8:30:19 AM

^ did you even read the whole article? he's not saying its going to replace traditional marriage - just should be an option for certain couples.

^^ aint no way. im not attracted to him.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 8:51 AM. Reason : merp]

8/15/2013 8:51:17 AM

^ The "lease" is about as important as the marriage...which means its not.

Why wait one, five, or ten years for the lease to end up. Just don't get married (or sign this stupid fucking lease idea) in the first place and get out whenever the fuck you want to get out.

8/15/2013 9:59:37 AM

^
exactly

i have similar issues with "traditional", state-controlled marriage. if you need a contract to force you to be with someone, you shouldn't be with them. sounds like a miserable way to live.

8/15/2013 10:02:34 AM

That's what the author was trying to say. A lot of people don't take marriage very seriously nowadays. So let those people sign a lease and the ones who are actually in it for life can get married for realsies.

Obviously that would never actually work because everyone probably thinks they really mean it when they get married. But I think it's an interesting talking point.

I see that as directed more toward the people who get married because they want to have a wedding, their friends are, they are afraid of ever being single, they think it's cool, etc.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 10:05 AM. Reason : .]

8/15/2013 10:04:29 AM

^I never look at marriage as forcing you to be with someone. I look at it as three things:

- tax benefits

- being able to throw a big, expensive party (depending on the costs...completely unnecessary and a waste of money, IMO)

- a girl being able to get a stupidly expensive diamond on her finger that she would never get without a wedding/marriage

8/15/2013 10:06:21 AM

^^
yeah and i think that idea is gross marriage for reasons other than because you love the person. just looks like a way to scheme benefits that shouldn't exist in the first place.

Quote :

"^I never look at marriage as forcing you to be with someone. I look at it as three things: - tax benefits - being able to throw a big, expensive party (depending on the costs...completely unnecessary and a waste of money, IMO) - a girl being able to get a stupidly expensive diamond on her finger that she would never get without a wedding/marriage"

right. i'd never get married if it wasn't for tax benefits (and i'd still rather avoid it tbh). i can't promise that i'll be the same person in 20 years.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 10:20 AM. Reason : .]

8/15/2013 10:18:55 AM

I'm just going to come out and say it but please keep in mind that I'm not judging you, I've been there (I wasn't married but yeah)

This isn't the first thread you've brought your "situation" into and it's obvious you like and crave the attention you're getting from your "slenderman". I hope it's just a "work husband" thing and that's why your husband doesn't care. Definitely don't let him kiss or do anymore touching, unless you don't want your marriage to work out.

8/15/2013 10:25:04 AM

^^^ the tax benefits are fairly moot if you both work and never have kids, though, since you're probably paying a higher income tax rate

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 10:26 AM. Reason : .]

8/15/2013 10:26:04 AM

It's definitely an attention thing if we can believe her when she says she's not attracted to him. Hubby is definitely not giving her enough attention at home and she's definitely trying to make him jealous by telling him all of these little flirtatious things she's doing at work. Very high-schoolish if you ask me.

Makes me wonder if the husband has something on the side. When he comes home, he's all..."I don't give a fuck what you're doing...I'm getting mine."

^ah dang it.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 10:30 AM. Reason : .]

8/15/2013 10:30:20 AM

Quote :

"Hubby is definitely not giving her enough attention at home and she's definitely trying to make him jealous by telling him all of these little flirtatious things she's doing at work."

this.

8/15/2013 10:31:42 AM

My GF flirts with a lot of vendors she works with all the time, and she's very honest about it. I have no problem with flirting, because I do the same and she knows this. Again, the honesty is the key. I mean, she'll tell me about the cute new lawyer that they are working with or the hot young stud one of the vendors just hired.

But I will say this, if it ever came to touching I'd have a problem with it. It's different if she hugs/pecks one of our regular groups of friends, but it crosses the line when it's someone she works with. Especially if it's someone I have never met.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 10:44 AM. Reason : a]

8/15/2013 10:38:55 AM

Time to go to marriage counseling

8/15/2013 10:38:57 AM

From what I remember... it's pretty easy to have sex with a girl who is already flirting with you. The SO (if one exists) has never been much of a factor.

This is why I probably wouldn't be cool with the "Hey, I was totally flirting with this guy at work" stories. Because when I'm on the other end of that story, I definitely smang that girl.

8/15/2013 10:48:09 AM

single flirting and attached flirting are 2 totally different things.

or at least they should be

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 10:50 AM. Reason : a]

8/15/2013 10:49:56 AM

yeah. I wouldn't put up with my SO flirting with someone else, let alone kissing.


I'd be all

8/15/2013 10:54:58 AM

Quote :

"single flirting and attached flirting are 2 totally different things. or at least they should be"

That's the thing, I don't think they are, at least not in my experience. Whether they should be or not is moot. It's just like... don't fuckin do it. I've been in a situation where I saw my (ex)gf flirt, heard her "explanations" then made my own rationalizations. Then I grew up. Fuck that shit.

8/15/2013 11:20:29 AM

so "growing up" means not trusting your S.O.? We've all been cheated on, bro.

imo, "growing up" means not sweating the small shit.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 11:25 AM. Reason : a]

8/15/2013 11:24:26 AM

you grew up and got jealous?

sounds regressive, tell me less

8/15/2013 11:26:41 AM

^ nail. head.

It's all situational anyways. I bartended for years and had a girlfriend for a majority of that time (different gfs...but the point still stands). I flirted my ass off every single shift. Some girls were okay with it, some weren't.

And there's nothing wrong with a little casual flirting...but you also shouldn't be grabbing dicks and flicking nipples.

8/15/2013 11:32:00 AM

^

8/15/2013 11:35:00 AM

Quote :

"I'm just going to come out and say it but please keep in mind that I'm not judging you, I've been there (I wasn't married but yeah) This isn't the first thread you've brought your "situation" into and it's obvious you like and crave the attention you're getting from your "slenderman". I hope it's just a "work husband" thing and that's why your husband doesn't care. Definitely don't let him kiss or do anymore touching, unless you don't want your marriage to work out."

yes it is 2 threads, however it is there to respond to others.

8/15/2013 11:58:53 AM

her husband couldn't make it out with the group that night. i ended up talking, dancing, and doing locked arm shots with her all night. I think she would grab me and dance on me anytime a guy hit on her just to send the guys away because she is married. when everyone left we doubled back to get food sloppy and ate and afterwards she took me back to another dance floor and danced super tight. i told her she was lucky shes married. one of the guys had a double hotel room where her and the single girl were sharing the other bed. they invited me to crash but she wanted the middle. we stared at each other all night in bed without touching.

im good friends with hubby and pretty sure he would be extremely pissed but we were drunk and nothing really happened. i don't think that could ever be explained to him and he must never find out.

8/15/2013 12:12:28 PM

Quote :

"you grew up and got jealous? sounds regressive, tell me less"

Words coming from guys who let dudes fuck their girlfriends and wives. And putting up with it is mature? hahahahaha

8/15/2013 12:18:04 PM

well that might be the most blatant straw man I've ever seen.

8/15/2013 12:22:16 PM

what?

my girlfriend is totally a lesbian

8/15/2013 12:23:12 PM

^^ Not if you read it with my other posts. I said in my experience, girls who flirt are girls who fuck. SO or no SO. Why should I think your women are any different? Maybe you guys just lucked out and got some really special ones. Yeah, that's it.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 12:26 PM. Reason : Not a strawman at all]

8/15/2013 12:26:05 PM

anyone who says theyve NEVER flirted with anyone else while in a relationship (or flirted with someone who is in a relationship) is obviously a liar. sometimes flirting isnt on purpose and youre not aware.

however, i thought the thread was about kissing someone who isnt your SO, not flirting with someone who isnt your SO?

just sayin...

8/15/2013 12:27:20 PM

^^ nah, the difference is that we ain't talking about hoodrats.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 12:38 PM. Reason : .]

8/15/2013 12:34:34 PM

so how come we all (most? teenyboppers? idk) love when jim and pam got together on the Office, even tho jim kissed her when she was engaged, but we frown upon such behavior IRL?

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 12:40 PM. Reason : we be hypocrites?]

8/15/2013 12:36:55 PM

^^

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 12:38 PM. Reason : a]

8/15/2013 12:38:27 PM

Quote :

"^^ I think your experience is limited solely to hoodrats."

Yeah, you would think something like that.

Good luck to you guys anyway. I'm not saying I HOPE your girls a making cockolds out of you. But I don't think I'm the most charming and good-looking dude on the fucking planet either, so if that's how it's been in my experience, then I think it's a pretty good general rule.

But I can assure you that I don't mess with hoodrats. If you knew where I live, where I went to school, and where I work, you'd understand that I don't ever have any interaction with hoodrats.

And recently, I've found girls who flirt while they have SO's extremely off-putting. I won't even talk to them. And by flirting, I mean actual flirting. Not joking around. Flirting.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 12:44 PM. Reason : ]

8/15/2013 12:39:19 PM

Quote :

"But I can assure you that I don't mess with hoodrats."

OH THANK GOD I WAS WRONG ABOUT THAT

8/15/2013 12:45:29 PM

^^what is your definition of flirting vs joking around?



[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 12:46 PM. Reason : .]

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 12:53 PM. Reason : you seem judgemental?]

8/15/2013 12:46:14 PM

Quote :

"girls who flirt are girls who fuck"

teach us more wise master

8/15/2013 12:50:59 PM

Quote :

"you seem judgemental?"

Sure, but probably not how you would think. We each have our own set of experiences.

Quote :

"teach us more wise master"

Yeah, I figured that would be pretty obvious, but it doesn't seem so in this thread...

8/15/2013 12:56:17 PM

i only say judgemental as a question. you seem to be very....erm....opinionated on what constitutes flirting and being a whore as opposed to joking around?

i was honestly just wondering what your differences between the 2 would be.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 1:01 PM. Reason : please note - am not hitting/flirting with you - just asking questions bc im a nosy bitch]

8/15/2013 1:00:44 PM

I don't understand how this is even a question.

Girls who flirt are disrespecting the relationship, and disrespecting their partner - period.

8/15/2013 1:05:06 PM

I wouldn't consider kissing someone grounds for a break up, but it could be a serious issue to me. If it's a continuous situation where you have let it known you don't like it and it still happens then it would be grounds for break up.

Although, there's a huge difference between a peck on the lips and a long passionate smooch.

8/15/2013 1:07:09 PM

Quote :

"i only say judgemental as a question. you seem to be very....erm....opinionated on what constitutes flirting and being a whore as opposed to joking around? i was honestly just wondering what your differences between the 2 would be. "

OK look, I don't think that just because a girl is talking to me, or addressing me on the internet, she is flirting with me. But that was a funny joke. Ha ha.

What's the difference? It's obvious there isn't a clear line, but you just know. Right? If a girl asks me to eat lunch with her, that isn't flirting. If she looks me dead in the eye and makes some sexual remarks or gestures while we're out at lunch, then she might be probably flirting (still depends on context though).

I think I have to get back to work...

8/15/2013 1:11:32 PM

Quote :

"I don't understand how this is even a question. Girls who flirt are disrespecting the relationship, and disrespecting their partner - period."

Or, it's like everything else, and what works for one couple doesn't for another. If both people in a relationship are OK with casual flirting, that doesn't affect you and your relationships.

Different strokes.

8/15/2013 1:35:01 PM

i flirt with skwinkle all the time and totally get away with it

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 1:41 PM. Reason : see, i'm doing it right now]

8/15/2013 1:38:33 PM

Quote :

"Yeah, I figured that would be pretty obvious, but it doesn't seem so in this thread..."

actually i was implying that you are wrong

8/15/2013 1:42:23 PM