ANYONE WHO DOESN'T LIKE FARTING IN PUBLIC IS CLEARLY NOT A MAN!!!

2/23/2011 2:04:56 PM

ftr this event did not happen. Mediocre attempt at humor

2/23/2011 3:37:52 PM

This $1 Totino's pizza (well, really, it was 28 cents...buy 7 get a $5 gift card at Target) is smaller than I thought it would be

2/23/2011 3:41:41 PM

Quote :

"lactose intolerance is unmanly"

No, but a latte is.

2/23/2011 4:09:19 PM

is not making enough money at your job a first world problem?

3/1/2011 2:17:43 PM

When I have to put in tips into the credit card machine


You have to

1. press '8'
loop
{
2. type reference number.
3. Displays the info. Asks Add tip? You have to type 1. Yes 2. No
4. type the amount in, press enter.
5. Displays the new info. Asks is this Right? type 1. Yes 2. No
}


Repeat for all 64 credit cards
That is 256 screens with 128 of them irrelevant.

Go ahead and tap on the desk 128 times and see how much time is wasted. Then do 256 times.

"Fix it until it's broken"


The older models had the system right

1. press '8'
loop
{
2. type reference number.
3. type the amount in, press enter.
}


[Edited on March 1, 2011 at 3:07 PM. Reason : .]

3/1/2011 3:02:22 PM

^also it makes it mandatory for me put $0.00 for all the non-tipped credit cards. What a huge waste of time.

3/1/2011 3:04:16 PM

^^^ Depends what your annual salary is

Just had a stupid shopping experience at Walmart

Did their "site to store" thing online because they had the best price online for the sewing machine I was buying. Went to the store today to pick it up and also got some groceries. When I get to the exit, the idiot working theft control is acting like I stole the damn sewing machine because it's on a separate receipt from the groceries. It takes her five minutes before she finally lets me go and I think it was more because she couldn't figure out that "Brother CE" on the receipt was for the Brother sewing machine but was tired of me trying to explain why I had two receipts

And then when I get home my damn package of Neese's sausage is missing from my groceries. I only bought seven grocery items

3/1/2011 4:38:29 PM

Why did you bother to stop for the Walmart person?

3/2/2011 1:21:48 PM

I tried going past her since she was already checking someone else's bags but then she physically got in front of my cart so I couldn't go anywhere

3/2/2011 1:30:14 PM

they can't physically stop you from exiting the building.

3/2/2011 1:35:13 PM

Yeah but it wasn't worth causing a scene over. Although maybe if I had I would have gotten my goddamn sausage

3/2/2011 1:36:33 PM

Walmart clerk is having a good laugh right now as she enjoys a scrumptious sausage lunch

3/2/2011 1:39:26 PM

3/2/2011 1:40:23 PM

I want to stop eating processed foods, but I enjoy Morningstar sausage too much to give it up.

3/6/2011 12:05:44 PM

I want to subscribe to some sort of magazine but I can't decide which ones I should...

Cosmo, or something else, or cosmo AND something else.

3/6/2011 12:23:57 PM

Quote :

"I tried going past her since she was already checking someone else's bags but then she physically got in front of my cart so I couldn't go anywhere"

I would fucking LOVE it if somebody did that shit to me. I would have ran her dumb ass over with a smile on my face.

For the record, "causing a scene" is exactly what you should have done. Dumb bitch doesn't know her job, doesn't know the law, and needs informing of both before she goes around getting a head trip thinking she can do that to people. I love walking out of the store and saying no thanks when they ask if they can see my receipt. I've never had anybody dumb enough to try and get in my way, but I do love the look on their faces when I whiz by.

3/6/2011 7:57:03 PM

I sat and stared at the ocean from my window too long...the light reflecting off the water hurt my eyes

3/7/2011 10:31:21 AM

I was trying to update some drivers for my bluRay player over the weekend and thought i was at the Sony esupport website, but apparently i was at some lookalike and gave them my cell number. I now get spam text messages and they won't stop. FML

3/7/2011 10:48:09 AM

on an unrelated note, the Neese's sausage people live next door to me

3/7/2011 10:53:38 AM

have you ever noticed that Neese's Sausage has an apostrophe 's'. That means it belongs to him. If a guy named Neese came up to you one day and said "give me that," you better hand it over. I'm sorry Neese, I never thought I'd run into you. You're a fucking bully man.

[Edited on March 7, 2011 at 11:42 AM. Reason : .]

3/7/2011 11:41:55 AM

^ ha, gg.

rip mitch hedberg

3/7/2011 2:18:27 PM

I hate that we cant use the Fridge closer to my side of the building so I have to walk all the way to the back to get my jelly for toast in the morning. Blah

Also we have a really nice Keurig coffee maker, but I went to corporate this past friday and they have this crazy computerized thing that makes capuccinos and lattes and all that jazz. The Keurig needs to bounce!

3/7/2011 3:12:58 PM

I took off work tomorrow a long time ago to go golfing but it is supposed to rain all day.

I hate golfing in the rain.

3/10/2011 10:58:22 AM

People crowding up my beach.

4/23/2011 5:09:59 PM

gas prices suck right now!

4/23/2011 9:35:18 PM

I hate having to push the buttons on my oven/stove so many times to get the temp to what I want. I have a digital "interface" if you will and when I turn it on it's preset to 350. But if I want to change the temp, I have to hit the up/down arrows until I get what I want. I just went to bake my awesome Totino's pizza and I had to hit the up arrow 20 times (5 degree increments) to get it to 450. Way to much work

4/26/2011 2:01:07 PM

^^I've got some bad news for you, and it involves the phrases '"worse"" and "from now on."

4/26/2011 2:08:49 PM

Having to leave work early to wait for the grocery delivery man. Haha.

4/26/2011 3:39:18 PM

opening my backpack at the gym only to find that my 3/4 full bottle of body wash has completely emptied itself all over all of my stuff. Now, I have to go buy more, clean my backpack and everything in it, and buy a new hair dryer because it apparently cannot handle having body wash on it....

4/26/2011 4:12:27 PM

Quote :

"I hate having to push the buttons on my oven/stove so many times to get the temp to what I want. I have a digital "interface" if you will and when I turn it on it's preset to 350. But if I want to change the temp, I have to hit the up/down arrows until I get what I want. I just went to bake my awesome Totino's pizza and I had to hit the up arrow 20 times (5 degree increments) to get it to 450. Way to much work"

hold it down.

4/26/2011 4:13:10 PM

Yeah, mine goes up by higher increments if you hold it down.

4/26/2011 5:32:33 PM

Shit, talk about your brain being baked
My shit's still in the oven on 480 degrees

4/26/2011 5:33:44 PM

I didn't notice until I was on the elliptical that one of my earbuds had fallen off somewhere so I was stuck listening to music in one ear.

4/26/2011 5:37:42 PM

Quote :

"I love walking out of the store and saying no thanks when they ask if they can see my receipt. I've never had anybody dumb enough to try and get in my way, but I do love the look on their faces when I whiz by."

Anyone tried this approach at Costco?

4/26/2011 6:04:38 PM

That's different. It's a private club.

4/26/2011 6:17:56 PM

WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY GROCERIES! Next time I pay the extra dollar for a confirmed delivery time, not this bullshit window/range shit.

4/26/2011 8:54:22 PM

It's such torture waking up to the sight and sound of the ocean and then having to leave and go to work. I just wanna spend the day out on the beach...not getting bitched at while I'm working.

5/3/2011 9:05:26 AM

i feel bad for getting up at 8am just to smoke and watch stargate sg-1.

5/3/2011 10:08:05 AM

The straw for my iced latte is too long

5/3/2011 10:43:37 AM

sure working 4 days a week is awesome...but working 10 hours is HARD!

5/3/2011 10:44:56 AM

My manager just scheduled a meeting for 4:00pm. There is no way im leaving work before 6.

5/3/2011 2:47:20 PM

THAT SON OF A BITCH

5/3/2011 4:15:29 PM

I needed groceries last night but Trader Joe's closes at 9

[Edited on May 3, 2011 at 4:19 PM. Reason : .]

5/3/2011 4:19:30 PM

^^^ we've had meetings at 3:30 on friday every day this semester.

5/3/2011 4:26:37 PM

I have taco leftovers in the fridge for dinner but I want a pizza, but I really should eat the leftovers

5/3/2011 4:46:42 PM

BEARD EMERGENCY

5/3/2011 5:06:18 PM

I left my smartwater out of the fridge and now it is warm

[Edited on May 3, 2011 at 5:18 PM. Reason : and I just spilled said bottle of water. not so smart water ftl.]

5/3/2011 5:11:53 PM

Twitter app is negatively affecting my battery life.

5/3/2011 6:03:16 PM

My lease is up in 10 days and I don't want to spend a grand a month to live by myself but don't like having roommates.

5/3/2011 7:46:43 PM