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nooooooooooo. instead, I suggest the two of you read The Five Love Languages. It's an amazing book and might be able to help.

4/5/2013 11:37:04 AM

what's next? you want them to go on Dr. Phil?

4/5/2013 11:38:37 AM

I want them to take a moment to explore how they feel and express love. Sure maybe they are both busy but if there's little things he can do to help communicate with her then it'll strengthen something he's spent 3 years of his life holding on to.

4/5/2013 11:43:14 AM

Sounds like she's moving on already, but doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings

4/5/2013 12:00:36 PM

My ex fiancee told me she was fantasizing about other people when in reality she was fucking other people.

4/5/2013 12:29:38 PM

exactly

4/5/2013 12:34:10 PM

Quote :

" don't know, I thinking her telling him is a cry for attention and maybe she's telling him in hopes that it'll help stop whatever is leading her down that path. Plus she's being truthful about her feelings and what's going on, it's better than lying or not trying."

THIS. She is scared that she is having these feelings for someone else. She is not being satisfied (doesn't mean sexually) by the current relationship for some reason, and this is her warning sign.

4/5/2013 12:37:32 PM

just because a person is attracted to someone who isn't their significant other doesn't mean they are not satisfied in their relationship

4/5/2013 2:01:45 PM

some more from the confessor...

Quote :

"Some background... We have been dating for over 3 years. She's 21. I'm 24. I trust her 100% when she said she hasn't messed with him. Apparently the dude she's thinking of is super masculine... Which I never thought would be a problem of mine. I played football in high school , I work out, I'm tall, have a deep voice, yada yada yada. The only "non-masculine" things I think I do to her are let her *ahem* take control in bed and just in general be too considerate. Also, I'm not the most confident guy out there. Again, I guess this is a warning sign to me to be more of a "man", take control and stop bitching on internet boards about it.... Exiled - open relationships would totally work if I already wasn't a jealous person/work in an engineering office MinkaGrl01 - I think she is honestly just scared she has these feelings. I really hope this can be rectified, and her being upfront with me was really brave/awesome of her. H8R - I thought your name was familiar... You told me I should break up with her 6 months ago in another confession. I hope you weren't right all along NCSUHippie - I think the "satisfied" or lack thereof is due to me not challenging her recently - in the bedroom, intellectually, or physically. This was her way of telling me, I guess."

4/5/2013 2:03:56 PM

^^ but the fact that she's telling him about it in a concerned way suggests something isn't exactly right

4/5/2013 2:09:07 PM

Good luck, broham

4/5/2013 2:09:26 PM

Can you link us to the confession from 6 months ago?

/nosy

[Edited on April 5, 2013 at 2:15 PM. Reason : oops]

4/5/2013 2:10:35 PM

the fact that she's 21 means it's over

4/5/2013 2:13:29 PM

^was going to post the exact same thing.

4/5/2013 2:15:28 PM

Shes 21, spends more time with him than you, and you somehow think its not over? Enjoy the sloppy seconds....


ITS OVER

4/5/2013 2:16:47 PM

Y'all are both young enough to bounce back quickly and easily. Just let her go, brah.

4/5/2013 2:16:50 PM

you were the older guy when she was 18. now she's 21. she just got her wings, she's getting antsy to leave the nest. it was a good run man, but it's not going to last. I've been there.

4/5/2013 2:19:19 PM

Damn even Jeepin is plowing this chick too?

4/5/2013 2:24:54 PM

Just because I tell you something you don't want to hear (even though its the truth) don't mean I haven't been there

I'm not the only one who sees it, dude. Open your eyes. She just turned 21. That's it. Ride's over.

You're just postponing the inevitable if you stay in it right now. If you want to keep this girl, and it looks like you do by your turning a blind eye to the entire situation, you've got to let her go.

[Edited on April 5, 2013 at 3:05 PM. Reason : tone]

4/5/2013 2:44:23 PM

there are roughly three ages that girls have a crisis/freak out and ditch out on their current boyfriend

18-19, when they go to college and/or join a sorority and start getting a lot of male attention.

21, when they can drink legally and want to start hitting the club scene 4 nights a week.

26-27, when they begin to panic that their current 3-4 year relationship could be "the one".


feel free to add on more guys.

4/5/2013 2:48:50 PM

I'd say 24/25ish is a good time for a freak out. Quarter life crisis. That time when we realize we aren't where we thought we'd be at this point in our lives. Or we are but it feels like shit.

4/5/2013 2:51:47 PM

yeah my last one could probably stretch from 24-27 and include all of that.

4/5/2013 2:54:51 PM

...so my synthesis from this recent string of posts is: avoid women from ages 18-28.



got it.

4/5/2013 3:46:28 PM

^ Pretty much.

Once they get in their late 20s...watch out. Biological clock starts rearing its ugly head and they want to get serious fast so they can start trying to have babies by their early 30s.

4/5/2013 3:47:51 PM

i feel like some of the chicks i've met recently in their very early 30s have been really judgmental.,/]

4/5/2013 3:49:22 PM

i feel like i'm so hyper aware of the fact that women in their 30s are like that, so i'm desperately trying not to be like that. and so far, doing a decent job

4/5/2013 3:53:01 PM

You had her from 18-21 I say get out now before the crazy kicks in and be happy about it.

4/5/2013 3:53:47 PM

when you hit your mid-30s the term is "bitter"

4/5/2013 3:56:36 PM

this thread is getting depressing....

4/5/2013 3:57:25 PM

nah, shits gettin real

4/5/2013 4:00:12 PM

Don't confuse the silliness of all females (our "crazy" as you call it) with actual psychotic tendencies. It can all look the same on the surface, in the early stages.

4/5/2013 4:03:07 PM

one thing you can get from this site is experience

whether you listen to or follow it remains to be seen

I know I didn't listen when ppl told me, I fucking did it my way

4/5/2013 4:03:36 PM

^^that's actually very profound

[Edited on April 5, 2013 at 4:04 PM. Reason : ^]

4/5/2013 4:04:04 PM

I've had this string of meeting mid-20's girls who show a lot of interest quickly but then fizzle out almost right away.

There was one in particular where we hit it off so well the night we met (no alcohol involved, btw), but then I ran into her the very next day and she didn't even want to talk much. We have a lot of mutual friends so we're going to continue to see each other at different gatherings and events, but I just can't figure out why she's so hot and cold.

4/5/2013 4:07:01 PM

^^^i agree.. it's a lot harder to listen when you're the one in the middle of the situation, but hopefully he takes everyone's advice on this.

when i was dealing with my crap, i had a lot of friends give me advice and they were 100 percent right, but of course i didn't listen because "its different this time!!" because it involved me.

good luck dude!

[Edited on April 5, 2013 at 4:09 PM. Reason : .]

4/5/2013 4:09:06 PM

I cry just a little when I think of letting go

4/5/2013 6:24:36 PM

Quote :

"So, last night I met this girl. First off she handed me money right off the bat which was weird but anyways we talked for a little bit. We have quite a bit in common yadda yadda yadda. Anyways at some point during the night while I was talking to her my friend is giving me the 'abort mission' sign. So I did what any guy would do, I got her number and ignored her for the rest of the night. When I talk to the dude he doesn't really give me a clear reason why I shouldn't. I feel like he was insinuating that she's a slut or has aids or something but he never said. What do I do?"

4/8/2013 8:26:39 PM

nevermind

[Edited on April 8, 2013 at 8:27 PM. Reason : :3]

4/8/2013 8:27:47 PM

I haven't taken any confessions in a while...I'll do it!

4/8/2013 8:49:51 PM

^^^

Quote :

"What do I do"

Give her a call. Sleep with her and get back to us.

4/9/2013 11:32:19 AM

Quote :

"First off she handed me money right off the bat which was weird but anyways we talked for a little bit."

Am I the only one confused by this?

4/9/2013 11:42:27 AM

Nope I was but pretend to understand.

4/9/2013 12:04:38 PM

She thought you were a male prostitute was my first thought.

4/9/2013 12:58:05 PM

I hate when that happens to me

4/9/2013 1:00:53 PM

Maybe she had the herp, and the money was to ease the blow when you finally found out.

4/9/2013 2:48:30 PM

follow up confession:

Quote :

"Let us say that I provided non-sexual entertainment for a group of people that she was included in. Money was not expected and is definitely 100% not customary. LastInACC I've decided to take your advice. I will report back in a few days."

4/9/2013 2:54:48 PM

WTF is non-sexual entertainment?

4/9/2013 3:40:48 PM

he was hangin out with a batchelorette party as the sassy gay guy

4/9/2013 3:43:14 PM

he brought the blow

4/9/2013 3:48:33 PM

he's a magician

4/9/2013 4:34:32 PM