the redhead at the bar tonight had the best body i've ever seen

7/9/2013 2:03:06 AM

Insomnia is fun.

7/9/2013 2:13:18 AM

I'm kind of annoyed for her that so much penis paraphernalia will be brought to the bachelorette party knowing she had a hard time simply going to buy penis straws for mine.

But whatever.

7/9/2013 9:42:50 AM

dammit I forgot to redeem my starbucks birthday beverage again

[Edited on July 9, 2013 at 9:45 AM. Reason : 31, fuck you July for being the longest month ever ]

7/9/2013 9:44:48 AM

only three hours of sleep. today is gonna SUCK BALLS.

7/9/2013 10:09:53 AM

I figured out I can make it rain every day just by wearing sunglasses in the morning

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

7/9/2013 11:24:47 AM

what's with the penis stuff at bachelorette parties anyway? it makes less than zero sense.

7/9/2013 12:40:16 PM

how do you feel about strippers at a bachelor party?

7/9/2013 12:42:43 PM

i feel fine about them

i feel fine about strippers at a bachelorette party, too

that's all animal instinct and tight bodies and shit before you're stuck with whatever misshapen normal human you're marrying

but penis-shaped straws? what the fuck does that have to do with anything?

7/9/2013 12:45:11 PM

Quote :

"what's with the penis stuff at bachelorette parties anyway? it makes less than zero sense."

Why does it not make sense?

Quote :

"but penis-shaped straws? what the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

What about boob cakes? What does that have to do with anything?

7/9/2013 12:45:45 PM

Ugh. I'm so over bachelorette party planning. I am not having one.

[Edited on July 9, 2013 at 12:59 PM. Reason : ]

7/9/2013 12:45:51 PM

i think i pulled a butt muscle

7/9/2013 1:09:08 PM

so tired of being one someone's list of people they call when they want something for free and then not being given the pay job when it comes up.


rage quit

7/9/2013 1:23:32 PM

Quote :

"but penis-shaped straws? what the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

it's hilarious to sip alcohol through a tiny cock

7/9/2013 1:23:57 PM

Quote :

"but penis-shaped straws? what the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

because it's funny. little penises are funny to laugh at.




yeah that didn't come out the way it was intended

[Edited on July 9, 2013 at 2:14 PM. Reason : not really a fan but I can see how they are funny]

7/9/2013 2:03:41 PM

I am not as amused by all the penis stuff as other people seem to be either. But I figure the more I say that, the more dicks I'll end up surrounded by on my bachelorette party.

But they were already talking about finding me a penis costume to wear so I guess it can't go too much further.

(No, Jessica, that is not a challenge.)

7/9/2013 2:08:33 PM

Not a "penis costume" - a strap on

7/9/2013 2:54:25 PM

Why not enjoy the pink plastic dicks? A bachelorette party is the ONLY time in life where a woman can go out in public covered in multi-colored phalluses and no one would even raise an eye-brow. In fact, they will even buy her drinks.

7/9/2013 3:21:20 PM

I guess I don't understand why anyone would want to go out covered in phalluses. It's not like "this is your one chance to run naked in the streets" or "this is the only time you can eat a whole chocolate cake without anyone judging you."

[Edited on July 9, 2013 at 3:58 PM. Reason : I'm sure I will enjoy it. I just don't really get it. ]

7/9/2013 3:58:09 PM

do all three

7/9/2013 4:03:22 PM

I already have. But I guess not at the same time.

7/9/2013 4:04:40 PM

do it at the same time

run naked down the road while covered in penises and eating cake

7/9/2013 4:05:37 PM

I can never turn down a challenge.

7/9/2013 4:06:33 PM

put the video in Premium Palace

lets sell some subscriptions

7/9/2013 4:11:21 PM

I back this plan 100%

7/9/2013 4:22:59 PM

NCSUHippie does make a very delicious chocolate penis-cake.

7/9/2013 4:30:03 PM

7/9/2013 4:41:17 PM

and blackberry cobbler

7/9/2013 4:41:38 PM

she uses the finest Swiss chocolate and fresh, locally-sourced dicks

7/9/2013 4:51:05 PM

I have found that dark chocolate makes for a better dick cake.

7/9/2013 4:59:32 PM

fuck, I should have left work when I had a chance, now it's storming.... hopefully it'll end soon

7/9/2013 5:10:17 PM

so its finally happening
...im getting fat


just so you know

7/9/2013 7:47:15 PM

My husband just took a photo of my butt because he finds the words on my panties partially covered by my shirt are funny. 1. Butt looks much better without so much junk in my trunk. 2. Forget apple bottom. That's a motherfucking pumpkin.

7/9/2013 9:22:54 PM

^^Weren't you just on some sort of multi-week European tour? Everybody gets fat on those!

7/10/2013 12:09:31 AM

Shit is going down familialy and socially, then both of my parents end their trip in the hospital, one of my best friends had surgery today, I can't leave the house, and our neighbor died.

I can't even.

7/10/2013 12:57:28 AM

^wow, that's a lot of drama



30

7/10/2013 8:56:11 AM

Quote :

"Running is the most efficient way to burn calories and get fit without disturbing your diet. If your not an athlete just like a runner but interested on losing weight."

gg, CNN

7/10/2013 9:58:51 AM

wow. so terrible on so many levels

7/10/2013 10:02:09 AM

computer goes wonky all of a sudden...

7/10/2013 10:07:57 AM

I stopped at "your"

7/10/2013 10:11:47 AM

because football players are healthy athletes

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

7/10/2013 10:14:11 AM

google was weird

7/10/2013 10:40:55 AM

Got a 99 in both my classes. Yay!

7/10/2013 10:42:03 AM

why didn't you try to get 100?

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

7/10/2013 10:42:26 AM

7/10/2013 10:49:41 AM

7/10/2013 10:54:27 AM

Scrolling through this page, I have two new favorite TWW quotes

Quote :

"it's hilarious to sip alcohol through a tiny cock"

Quote :

"do it at the same time run naked down the road while covered in penises and eating cake"

Thanksguys

And ^(dunnohowmany) @MinkaGrl01, yes. Yes it is. And that's a very minimal summary. Several days ago was also the anniversary of a friend's death... three friends from college have passed away in the past year, one last July, one at the end of February, and one one month ago.
Life wat r u doin. Life. Stahp.

7/10/2013 11:02:58 AM

dang son

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

7/10/2013 11:22:06 AM

Well that was unexpected

7/10/2013 11:24:17 AM

BBQ pork chops and homemade potato salad in my NEAR future.

7/10/2013 12:33:13 PM