Whenever my power goes out, my microwave makes me enter not only the time, but the day, month and year before I can use it again.

Because whenever I forget what year it is, the first place I go is my microwave.

5/11/2011 1:47:16 PM

jeez, must be a microwave...OF THE FUTURE



that storm didn't even wake me up. what woke me up was when the power went out and my fan immediately stopped blowing cool air on me. FWP

5/11/2011 1:48:22 PM

^^haha and I get pissed off because mine wants me to put AM or PM when I reset the clock... FWPforeal

5/11/2011 1:49:37 PM

Storm definitely woke me up. Sounded like a transformer or something blew up it was so loud.

5/11/2011 1:53:13 PM

I love thunderstorms, but don't live in Raleigh and haven't had one in awhile. FWP

5/11/2011 2:02:40 PM

it's so weird, i can sleep through thunderstorms like it's nothing but a simple change in temp or something like that and i immediately wake up.

5/11/2011 2:02:41 PM

i cant believe i had to eat lunch with my fingers

and of course it was on the day i brought in curried apple and ground lamb meatballs, floating in sauce.

couldn't find a fork around the office to save my life.

5/11/2011 3:31:25 PM

Any self-respecting individual would have been able to MacGuyver something out of paper clips and business cards.

You disgust me.

5/11/2011 3:33:42 PM

1 rubber band, 2 paper clips, 1 fat highlighter = ergonomic fork

5/11/2011 3:38:00 PM

had lunch at 12....now i am hongry

5/11/2011 3:39:27 PM

have you ever licked a business card?

a high quality one?

the texture across your tongue can only be compared to those shitty ice creams with the wooden stick spoons. the feeling of it slowly, rubbing across my tongue, it's fibrous undulations moving from one taste bud to the next, like a microscopic fuck you that gives me goosebumps on my arms, and my lower back shudders like a 6 budweiser tall boy piss shiver.


pass.

5/11/2011 3:42:14 PM

lol im so bored at work i just made that fork myself. i wish i had something to eat with it.

5/11/2011 3:42:16 PM

how strong is it?

5/11/2011 4:25:29 PM

You don't lick the card. You bend it in a U shape to deliver the meatball to your mouth.

And regardless of the taste, its a better option than your pube plucking, testicle touching, cock caressing, grundle grabbing, balloon knot buffering fingers.

5/11/2011 4:30:01 PM

revamped the fork. 4 business cards. two each tri-folded length-wise and then stapled together with the other two to provide a ~4" handle. then paper clips bent and straigthened to provide the prongs. it should support a meatball or something simple.

5/11/2011 4:33:10 PM

Lol y'all are cute

5/11/2011 5:36:50 PM

My MagicJack had to be removed and plugged back in after a restart

5/11/2011 5:41:30 PM

I'm flying first class tonight, but it's a short flight (< 2 hours) and all I want to do is sleep.

And my new fillings hurt.

5/12/2011 1:15:54 PM

I want to take a nap, but the maid is cleaning the living room and still has to clean the bedroom

5/12/2011 1:29:02 PM

Quote :

"the texture across your tongue can only be compared to those shitty ice creams with the wooden stick spoons. the feeling of it slowly, rubbing across my tongue, it's fibrous undulations moving from one taste bud to the next, like a microscopic fuck you that gives me goosebumps on my arms, and my lower back shudders like a 6 budweiser tall boy piss shiver."

Oh god this, a thousand times this. The texture of raw wood in my mouth makes me want to die. It makes eating popsicles difficult.

5/12/2011 2:22:46 PM

jeez, i loved the classic vanilla or chocolate icecream cups when i was a kid specifically for the wooden scoop. i remember voicing my displeasure when they change to plastic a few years later.

5/12/2011 2:25:20 PM

oh god, that just makes me want to gag

5/12/2011 2:31:23 PM

why are you people licking business cards in the first place?

5/12/2011 2:35:39 PM

It's the only way to know for sure if they card company shit you out of good paper.

5/12/2011 2:40:32 PM

I hate it when the "wait 20 minutes to watch the DVR'd show so you can skip all the commercials" trick is so ingrained in your head that you forget not to do it when watching shows from Showtime or HBO.

5/16/2011 8:57:04 PM

My laptop fan causes my soda to become warm.

5/17/2011 2:22:31 PM

The rental car I got for this TDY (newish Mercedes W212) is better than my hotel room.

5/17/2011 2:25:43 PM

my droid two is not getting good signal

5/17/2011 3:22:35 PM

i hate running out of pita and having to use my finger to scoop out the rest of the hummus, my fingers are going to smell like garbanzo beans for the rest of the day

5/17/2011 3:25:04 PM

That actually sounds like a 3rd world problem.

5/17/2011 3:35:17 PM

I was trying to squeeze the last bit of conditioner out of the bottle and I dropped it right on my big toe



Toe's fine, but I have a big date tonight, and with no conditioner I'm afraid my hair is going to look a bit greasy

5/17/2011 9:43:24 PM

The soda I bought was gross so now I have to drink beer

5/17/2011 9:48:26 PM

2 liters never stay fizzy

5/17/2011 9:49:57 PM

Quote :

"S: I'm never going to get any synthetic ass at this rate. I tried so hard."

Quote :

"That actually sounds like a 3rd world problem."

Huh? That's definitely not a PROBLEM in the 3rd world. They would eat that shit with their hands to begin with. So yeah, being afraid that your poor finger will smell like chickpeas is definitely a FWP.

And to the hummus eating girl: running water and soap exists... hummus smell does not stay on fingers like, say, garlic smell. It can be eliminated with just water. Shows you have never touched it!

P.S. Eating hummus and other similarly-textured foods (Nutella mmmm) with fingers FTW.


[Edited on May 18, 2011 at 7:21 AM. Reason : ]

5/18/2011 7:16:29 AM

i made my oatmeal too dry.

5/18/2011 9:10:41 AM

First World Problems (Page 2 3 ... 31 32) wolfpackgrrr 1584 28667 9:10 AM by simonn
Define racism yrrah 38 506 9:07 AM by spöokyjon

5/18/2011 9:16:00 AM

The inside of my ear itches and I can't get to it.

5/18/2011 9:18:04 AM

^ 2 hahaha

5/18/2011 9:20:17 AM

the air conditioning in my office is way too high, it was 54.4 in here when i arrived today

if this doesn't improve i'm gonna have to take my laptop and work outside

5/18/2011 9:26:32 AM

Quote :

"And to the hummus eating girlMinkagrl01: running water and soap exists... hummus smell does not stay on fingers like, say, garlic smell. It can be eliminated with just water. Shows you have never touched it! P.S. Eating hummus and other similarly-textured foods (Nutella mmmm) with fingers FTW. "

or that I dont wash my hands but yeah the smell didnt linger

5/18/2011 9:27:22 AM

I really hope they wait until later to put in the new coffee machine. Though it will be pretty amazing, I need to make sure I can get to my caffeine ASAP

5/18/2011 9:31:19 AM

Can't decide what to do with my day off Friday

5/18/2011 9:46:35 AM

this queen size mattress is too firm and hurts my lower back, so I keep having to switch what hip I'm laying on in order to keep playing on my laptop :\

5/18/2011 9:48:37 AM

Ok so coffee machine has been installed

I am enjoying a nice irish cream cappuccino

success

[Edited on May 18, 2011 at 1:13 PM. Reason : it could be a little sweeter]

5/18/2011 1:13:14 PM

This morning I ran out of water.

Yes I have my filtered water delivered and a cooler system in my kitchen. My next delivery isn't until Tuesday!


Thankfully though, the same delivery guy delivers water to my work and he came in to today and gave my three extra 3 gallon jugs for me to take home! Water crisis averted!

5/20/2011 2:34:35 PM

Just finished jogging only to come home and find out our water heater has exploded. So now I can't take a shower until the jerks come to fix it for the fifth time. And my husband cleared everything out of the closet next to the water heater only to find out our sleeping bags are moldy because of this leak At least renter's insurance will buy us better sleeping bags than what we currently have

5/31/2011 9:12:11 PM

I do not have enough money to buy all the wire I want to install in my house.

5/31/2011 10:13:51 PM

ebay

5/31/2011 10:16:13 PM

My son somehow managed to soak the Roku remote and it's not dry yet, so it won't work (if it's going to work again). There's all this technical information online about how you can work the Roku from your laptop, but I'm not tech savvy like that. So Silas and I are stuck watching 1 of 3 channels or Netflix on the laptop.

[Edited on June 7, 2011 at 10:33 AM. Reason : ,]

6/7/2011 10:33:28 AM

You kid watches way at 2 much television.

My AC is broke.

6/7/2011 10:37:15 AM