dammit fedex, you're guaranteed to be here by 3.. so i expect you here by noon

8/19/2009 2:00:18 PM

but i shoulda thought of that before we kissed....

8/19/2009 2:01:44 PM

glad my mom came to visit

8/19/2009 2:01:46 PM

Shit, I need some money fast.

8/19/2009 2:04:25 PM

slowest. printer. ever.

8/19/2009 2:05:21 PM

i know that you are out there....somewhere underneath the moon.

8/19/2009 2:09:13 PM

it didn't work so that means i need to get to sleep

8/19/2009 2:09:32 PM

Where did Ben hide the dog food? My puppies are HONGRY!

8/19/2009 2:10:08 PM

aww.

8/19/2009 2:10:22 PM

Some days are better than others. Monday was horrible and instilled in me the desire to jump off a tall building or eat the business end of a shotgun.

Tuesday was somewhat better, and I was actually productive.

Today, we've taken a step back to chewing on the muzzle of a Remington 1100.

8/19/2009 2:25:30 PM

NeuseRvrRat: nope. I am bored at work.

8/19/2009 2:26:00 PM

oh man....999 facebook friends


who's going to be lucky 1,000

8/19/2009 2:27:55 PM

8/19/2009 2:31:48 PM

jesus, I talked to him just a week ago

8/19/2009 2:33:22 PM

casey if you get another friend i'm defriending you so you still won't have your 1000

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 2:34 PM. Reason : then i am going to add you back so i can be 1000]

8/19/2009 2:34:21 PM

I'm only at 382. So unpopular...

8/19/2009 2:35:33 PM

i have just over 200. i'm a fucking hermit.

8/19/2009 2:43:43 PM

I only have 72.

8/19/2009 2:44:52 PM

If 200 friends makes you a hermit then I am beyond classification.

8/19/2009 2:45:34 PM

i can't help it if i'm a social butterfly


i've had way over 1000 at some point...


i bet i've lost 50 or more

8/19/2009 2:46:14 PM

i'm also a cougar trainer in my spare time.

8/19/2009 2:46:45 PM

8/19/2009 2:47:28 PM

i don't need training

8/19/2009 2:47:31 PM

perhaps i should have said a couger tamer

8/19/2009 2:48:16 PM

thought you were a bobcat?

8/19/2009 2:48:19 PM

lately i'm more like a house cat

8/19/2009 2:49:03 PM

your house cat stinks.

8/19/2009 2:49:34 PM

i love house cats

i mean, i got 3 of 'em

8/19/2009 2:49:37 PM

my ruckus prom date and I are wearing matching red chuck taylors

DO YOU WANNA LIVE FOREVER?

8/19/2009 2:51:22 PM

mine bailed on me and won't write me back

8/19/2009 2:53:17 PM

we'll write a mean note and slide it in his locker after 3rd period

8/19/2009 2:54:17 PM

can we TP his house too? or egg his car?? or do a drive by and call him a cocksucker as we pass his house???

i've never done such things of course...but i hear that's how hs girls handle their bizness

8/19/2009 2:55:42 PM

i should be a DD for anyone who needs a ride home that night

some friends of mine did that one New Year's. they went up to the ONLY BAR in knightdale and told the bartender they were taking people home and they made over $800 that night

8/19/2009 2:56:16 PM

toothache go away come again another day

8/19/2009 2:57:16 PM

girl call a fucking dentist

i'm telling you, a filling doesn't cost that much

hell, if you whine enough, maybe they'll do it pro-bono

8/19/2009 2:59:50 PM

jesus i'm bored

and someone opening my packages before i get them is really annoying.

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 3:02 PM. Reason : at work, that is]

8/19/2009 3:02:09 PM

That toof is only gonna get worse if you let it continue to rot son.

8/19/2009 3:02:55 PM

well crap...

somebody just defriended me


now i'm back to 998

8/19/2009 3:17:37 PM

it wasn't me

8/19/2009 3:18:29 PM

8/19/2009 3:18:55 PM

^^but she caught you on the counter

8/19/2009 3:19:44 PM

it was ^^^^^

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 3:20 PM. Reason : erwe]

8/19/2009 3:19:49 PM

it wasn't me!

8/19/2009 3:20:28 PM

quite a few people have added me over the past couple of weeks

8/19/2009 3:20:29 PM

^^saw you kissin' on the sofa!

8/19/2009 3:20:59 PM

it wasn't me!!

8/19/2009 3:21:25 PM

i hear you had her in the shower...

8/19/2009 3:21:39 PM

it wasn't me...

8/19/2009 3:22:40 PM

she even caught you on camera!!

(and now, i'm listening to this song on my ipod.... )

8/19/2009 3:22:52 PM

haha, i remember my 9th grade teacher coming in one day and talking about that song. apparently she hadn't listened to "new" music since her son had been born a few years earlier and was completely shocked at such lyrics

8/19/2009 3:23:20 PM