Quote :

"If the wife feels like her husband not attracted to her (despite the real reasons), then it's not uncommon for her to find solace in someone that may communicate that attraction more. "

...as well as getting her own sexual needs met.

Bottom line is that less sex normally leads to more problems.



By the way...if that person wants to PM me privately...I'd be more than happy to give the POV from the man's side. But again...the bottom line is that you need to talk about it.

[Edited on April 21, 2014 at 1:36 PM. Reason : .]

4/21/2014 1:27:45 PM

they should both wear nixon masks during coitus to spice things up

4/21/2014 1:36:03 PM

4/21/2014 1:36:55 PM

It happens with almost every long term relationship. That's why there is always that ongoing joke about about you never have sex anymore after you are married. After a few years, one partner is just not gonna be as in to it anymore. Count your blessings though -- unless you are Barney Stinson you are still probably getting laid a lot more than your average single person.

4/21/2014 1:45:09 PM

it at least sounds like the girl in this situation is trying to keep things spicy but dressing provocatively and actively trying to engage the man. it's really hard to stay sexually interested when you come home everyday to someone wearing the same pair of old gray sweatpants.

4/21/2014 1:48:53 PM

this makes me not want to be married because then you're just sort of stuck with someone. My reaction to "oh you don't want to fuck me anymore?" is "fuck you I'll go find someone that does"

that being said, I don't do long term anything. because dating is hard.

4/21/2014 1:56:12 PM

Quote :

" it's really hard to stay sexually interested when you come home everyday to someone wearing the same pair of old gray sweatpants."

NOPE. If the fiancé were willing, she'd get it 3x a day... her preference is the traditional tight-cuffed black sweatpants. (I call them MC Hammer sweatpants)

4/21/2014 1:56:59 PM

There's some motherfuckers putting themselves on blast up in here.

4/21/2014 2:15:43 PM

Quote :

"That's why there is always that ongoing joke about about you never have sex anymore after you are married. "

DUMB....and WRONG!!

4/21/2014 2:38:25 PM

This is probably waayyy too much information but I popped out a kid in March and look like utter hell most days and if I don't go out my staple outfit is maternity leggings and a baggy tee or baggy PJ pants and a tight tank top with my belly poking out and we have a countdown on our calendar for when my birth control is finally effective. And we were active all the way until I got put on bed rest and pelvic rest.

4/21/2014 2:53:16 PM

Fellas, you need to fuck your wife if she is walking around in lingerie for your dumbass. Even if you don't feel like it, so what. You can't take 10 minutes?

4/21/2014 2:55:07 PM

10 minutes

really?

that makes me sad. i'm extra not getting married now

4/21/2014 2:56:21 PM

Lots of people ITT not realizing that everyone is different.

4/21/2014 2:56:38 PM

^this

Just find someone who feels the same way you do.

4/21/2014 2:58:17 PM

Quote :

"that being said, I don't do long term anything. because dating is hard."

I figured it was because you devoured your mates after copulation, thus ending any potential for a long term relationship.

4/21/2014 2:59:06 PM

only the bad ones. if they do it right I usually just fall asleep.


thats when they escape

4/21/2014 3:01:04 PM

did you see me escaping? i was all WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP

4/21/2014 3:09:20 PM

Quote :

"10 minutes really?"

When you are married and you have sex often (like once a day, or every other day), 10 minutes is pretty common.

But when you are single and you have sex once or twice a month, 10 minutes is a little sad. It's all about perspective.

4/21/2014 3:17:29 PM

If you both know what you're doing....then 10 minutes should be plenty of time to leave both parties satisfied. I've had my marathon sessions. They mostly included a new sex partner or copious amounts of alcohol. 10 minutes is enough time to get the job done.

4/21/2014 3:20:58 PM

buncha armchair hoes in this piece

4/21/2014 3:21:28 PM

funny, they are talking about this exact topic on the radio show i'm listening to right now.

4/21/2014 3:22:08 PM

Quote :

"When you are married and you have sex often (like once a day, or every other day), 10 minutes is pretty common."

4/21/2014 3:40:28 PM

Quote :

"When you are married and you have sex often (like once a day, or every other day), 10 minutes is pretty common."

4/21/2014 3:43:58 PM

Quote :

"The other day on Facebook, some pics that Samwise16 uploaded caught my eye. They were of who I think is her sister. It's a cute-faced, chunky woman, with huge boobs. And man on man, those boobies look strangely so inviting to me... And I'm not even a person who likes chunky women, or huge boobs. Wtf is wrong with me?!"

4/22/2014 7:35:17 AM

Quote :

"MAN ON MAN"

4/22/2014 8:22:49 AM

lol what a creeper. Not gonna post the pic but I think I know what one he is talking about.

4/22/2014 9:21:37 AM

That dude is experiencing heterosexual panic.

4/22/2014 9:53:36 AM

Quote :

"MAN ON MAN"

4/23/2014 6:28:28 PM

I'll take a confession or two

4/28/2014 9:33:07 AM

Quote :

"I've started lying to my wife about how much I'm hanging out with this one girl. Two months ago I moved to Boston for work and my wife is moving here in July, when she can transfer with her company. Since I was going to be here alone, without any social network, my wife put me in contact with a female friend of hers that I'd met once or twice before. That friend and I now spend 4 - 5 days together each week. I've started lying to my wife about the frequency because when I mention that I'm hanging out with her friend she'll make small comments about it. I get that 4 - 5 days a week is a lot but we're not hanging out solo. We may grab dinner solo two days during the work week but on the weekends it's usually a large group. I'm now starting to worry because if I keep lying I'll eventually get caught and that will make it seem like something is going on, which it isn't. Not sure how to play this one out."

oh man, this is interesting. this could be small potatoes if you start being open and honest about it, especially if it's nothing other than friendship. Couple questions I have initially.. How close are your wife and the other girl? Are there any "feelings" developing between either of you or is it very platonic like you make it seem? What kind of comments does your wife make?

4/28/2014 11:57:29 AM

I'd get that out to your wife ASAP. Especially if there's no romantic feelings towards the chick you've been hanging with. The longer you wait, the bigger shitstorm you'll incur once she finds out...and she will.

4/28/2014 12:02:58 PM

Yeah for fucks sake man, it's time to start righting that ship. For starters, how do you know she's not talking to your wife too?

Even if she's not, it'll come up and she'll find out eventually. Start telling the truth stat and if you're lucky she won't find out that you're dumb and lied to her.

[Edited on April 28, 2014 at 12:34 PM. Reason : also find some other shit to do besides hanging out with her/that friend grou]

4/28/2014 12:06:07 PM

some answers...

Quote :

"My wife and this girl were close a while back (2007 - 2009) but not as much once her friend moved to Boston. They only recently started talking again once our move came up, but even then its infrequent. I don't have any feelings towards the friend and I'm pretty confident she doesn't have feelings towards me. While we do click very well- same general interests/humor/etc...- I don't feel like I'm dating her when we're out to dinner. But to be entirely candid, there have been two moments during which I've met a new friend of hers and they'll say "i didn't know you were seeing anyone but i really like him" or "you two are great together, how did you two meet". So we must be giving off some sort of vibe. My wife will say things such as "oh you're going over there again" "wow, you two must be getting close" little stuff like that. So I can tell she's getting a little jealous, since some other woman, friend or not, gets to hang out with her husband in a fun city. If she weren't getting jealous I'd tell my wife about each time we hang out but if I tell her I feel she'll continue to get more and more jealous."

4/28/2014 12:55:24 PM

July is a long fucking time away...all kinds of time for you to fuck up your marriage.

If you want to stay with your wife, stop hanging out with this chick so much, and if you are incapable of that, start telling the truth.
If you don't want to stay with your wife, you're probably an asshole since you haven't shared anything about how your marriage sucks.

4/28/2014 1:01:41 PM

stupid wife was stupid for suggesting you two hang out in the first place

4/28/2014 1:10:08 PM

just tell your wife, it's no big deal

if she turns it into a big deal then curb your hangouts

4/28/2014 1:13:13 PM

if things are good in your marriage i don't think you necessarily have to "fess up" about hanging out with the friend. just start being open that you are hanging out from this point on. maybe it's the nice weather that has you two out with a group more often or something as simple as that.

i feel like if you cave and admit to all this extra time together it'll come off as guilt ridden for the wrong reasons.

4/28/2014 1:48:55 PM

Quote :

"just tell your wife, it's no big deal if she turns it into a big deal then curb your hangouts"

4/28/2014 1:51:07 PM

I feel like him going to his wife all 'It's no big deal' after he's already been a least mildly deceptive about it would be a horrendous idea. It'll throw up all kinds of red flags for her even if he's not meaning to. He needs to come clean about it, but not in an offhand kind of way.

4/28/2014 2:06:52 PM

^^^ that would be my approach.

4/28/2014 2:23:58 PM

this is such a non-issue, i can't believe how much play this is getting. just stop hanging out w/ her so that what you've been telling your wife is the truth. you're a grown man, you can handle two months on your own.

4/28/2014 2:26:15 PM

^ This.

4/28/2014 2:29:59 PM

maybe the wife is trying to sabotage their marriage?

pass the shitty dude off to someone else guilt free.

4/28/2014 2:32:01 PM

Please stop lying to your wife. Nothing good will come of this. Fess up now before it turns into something major. When your wife moves to Boston they will probably start hanging out again, assuming you don't ruin their friendship, and the amount of time you and the friend spent together will come up. Better to be straightforward about it now. Also, going out 4-5 times a week seems like a lot, imo. Stay home, save some money and buy your wife something nice.

4/28/2014 6:48:50 PM

Confess to me and clear your conscience heading into the weekend

5/2/2014 2:19:20 PM

Quote :

"stupid wife was stupid for suggesting you two hang out in the first place"

This.

5/3/2014 5:46:56 AM

^^^ Yes. So well said.

[Edited on May 3, 2014 at 8:01 AM. Reason : sss]

5/3/2014 8:00:39 AM

Quote :

"Lately, when jerking off, I've held a webcam in my left hand and focused it on my dick. So basically I've been jerking off to me jerking off, in real time. I'm not gay (I don't think) but it's really erotic, somehow, to see my hand and cock in action from the 3rd person."

ummm

5/3/2014 12:07:27 PM

did you send that to yourself?

5/3/2014 7:24:47 PM

Astral projection fetish?

5/4/2014 3:24:58 PM