Go talk with Peter.

2/15/2014 11:19:54 AM

OMG......I HATE COMMERCIALS (TV or radio)!!!!!!!!!!

2/15/2014 3:37:55 PM

I am very drunk

2/15/2014 9:07:01 PM

I wish I was drunk after watching that bullshit

2/15/2014 9:16:15 PM

I'm starting to get really tired of Tinder. Of the girls on there over the age of 21 at least 20% have a serious case of the crazy eyes, another 20% have a kid, and 30% are just plain unfuckable. It really leaves you a very small group to pick from. Oh, and then there's the "all my pics are group pics" phenomenon. Fucking annoying.

2/16/2014 3:30:30 AM

Quote :

"serious case of the crazy eyes, another 20% have a kid, and 30% are just plain unfuckable. Oh, and then there's the "all my pics are group pics" phenomenon. Fucking annoying."

preach, brother.

been watching Casey Neistat's videos on Facebook for an hour. Makes me feel like I'm wasting my life.

2/16/2014 4:00:06 AM

waiting for bbehe to wake up so I can make breakfast. I want bacon in my mouth now!

2/16/2014 9:13:44 AM

Wouldn't you rather have some sausage?

2/16/2014 9:33:44 AM

2/16/2014 1:38:24 PM

its really loud in here. never really noticed that.

2/16/2014 3:13:50 PM

2/16/2014 3:24:28 PM

i have been smoking a little weed recently. i was never a pothead growing up/high school/college years....but recent stressful events and the fact that it is legal now and helps me sleep.....

2/17/2014 12:22:35 AM

can't sleep and spouse is gone, so I'm getting a jump on tomorrow's work. so lame.

2/17/2014 1:08:59 AM

2/17/2014 4:35:08 AM

That was a lot of food to force down

2/17/2014 7:05:51 AM

So glad my 24 hour duty is almost over. I sure do love sleeping for 2 hours in a computer chair.

2/17/2014 7:16:20 AM

2/17/2014 11:24:12 AM

Just want the work day to hurry up and finish so I can go home and finally play Titanfall. Didn't get to play all weekend, however I could've posted in the good godamn sex thread.

2/17/2014 11:31:18 AM

Quote :

"i have been smoking a little weed recently. i was never a pothead growing up/high school/college years....but recent stressful events and the fact that it is legal now and helps me sleep..... "

I am the same. Never smoked it until I was 27! I wish I had though, it probably could have helped me out a lot seeing that my anxiety is through the roof. I wish it were legal here.

On an unrelated note. I apparently ruin men. I am probably un-date-able...

2/17/2014 11:46:07 AM

So my Mom just sends me an email telling me she and my stepdad are going to Pennsylvania for his 50th bday to stay at this place: http://www.intercoursevillageinn.com/

Quote :

"INTERCOURSE VILLAGE INN "

wtf? thanks mom

2/17/2014 2:34:44 PM

2/17/2014 2:44:03 PM

Quote :

"wtf? thanks mom"

I have always wanted to go to Intercourse just to get one (or all) of the tourist shirts they sell.

2/17/2014 2:45:39 PM

I look to see if a comic was posted by lewisj before wasting my time.

2/17/2014 7:05:27 PM

i hate it when people (girls) ask me to "tell them something good"

2/18/2014 2:57:58 PM

^who says that?

2/18/2014 3:57:53 PM

Rufus & Chaka Khan

2/18/2014 5:49:55 PM

Quote :

"i hate it when people (girls) ask me to "tell them something good""

that's strange. in what context?

2/18/2014 6:20:05 PM

Information overload at the new job has my brain fried tonight

2/18/2014 8:34:14 PM

2/19/2014 9:40:45 AM

I feel like I can't trust anyone who is not a blood relative at this point

2/19/2014 10:50:19 AM

at least you can trust them. i keep my family locked in a snowglobe with IDGAF carved into the base

2/19/2014 11:12:30 AM

Hay guyz. So for the first time in quite a few years, I'm having sex on a regular basis. And I've come up with quite a few questions/ponderings that I'd like to hear you guys' input on. (I'd also like, incidentally, to hear you people's own musings on all things sexual: your favored techniques, certain pitfalls you've encountered, and any other observations you've formulated about sexual intercourse that you think might be worth sharing.) And I figure we might as well discuss sex, anyway, because it's fucking interesting.

So, some points...

1. Woman orgasming when man is on top
When having sex, I'm all about getting the girl off. That's my goal, really...for whatever reason, I dunno, maybe I'm altruistic, maybe I'm insecure, but whatever, I want the girl to cum.

But ladies, do you even EXPECT to cum when you're on the bottom? And what's the most effective way for a man to get the woman off when he's on top? Hard thrusting? Deep thrusting? Steady, rhythmic thrusting? Clitoral contact? Just having a big fucking dick? Does it vary based on the woman's vaginal architecture and/or the man's penis size? Is there a good universal strategy for this?

2. Woman coming when she's on top
Usually, when a girl cums with me, I'm just lying on my back, not even moving, and she's flailing around on my cock. I never cum from this position, but it's a way for her to get off, so I'm totally content with it.

I dunno, though...I guess where I'm getting at with this point is, it seems quite a shame that the position that's most pleasurable for the girl does next-to-nothing for me, and the position that does most for me (missionary) does least for her. I guess this is a fundamental attribute of sex, to some extent; but I don't know how rigid it has to be.

3. How long should a man last
Usually, if I'm on top, I can contrive to last about, like, 60-120 seconds, say. If I'm just thrusting all-out, I can cum a lot faster than this, but I've learned to draw it out. (P.S. Actually, lately my anti-anxiety meds have affected my ability to ejaculate, so I can pretty much thrust forever without cumming, which is kind of awesome but also kind of terrible.)

But I wonder, what's the standard period for a man to last, if he's on top? What do you expect, women? And if the man pulls out or takes a breather so he doesn't cum, is that permissible?

4. Second rounds
Usually, after 15-30 minutes or so, I'm ready to go again, but my wanker is never as rigid as it was the first time. Usually in this case the girl can cum if she gets on top of me, but I can never bring myself to spluge again, from any position. So is it even worth doing this?

5. Fingering
I fucking suck at fingering...I have a very crude, heavy touch. Just the other night, I tried to finger my girlfriend, and failed. (I've never successfully fingered a woman, actually.) I infer that clitoral contact is key in this pursuit, and I've even heard that the clit is so sensitive that you have to just BARELY touch it, you can't go smearing it. But anyway, what's the best technique here (if such a complicated, participant-specific question can be answered in such generality)?

Also, I fear that fingering (and to a lesser extent, sex in general) requires a "knack," a certain spontaneous and intuitive knowledge of where to touch, how and at what moment and in what succession, which is very hard to acquire if you don't already possess it/aren't born with it. But maybe that that's not correct: maybe sexual prowess is a thing that can be learned to some degree. (I'm a terrible, terrible dancer, incidentally, if that matters. I have no innate sense of rhythm.) Thoughts?

6. Eating out
Same considerations as 5, basically.

Everybody please feel free to chime in on all these things.

By the way, I always wear Trojan Enz Lubricated condoms.

Feel free to ask your own questions, or offer your own theses or observations. But this is the Lounge, bear in mind, so please don't attack my sexual prowess or lack thereof, or my inexperience (which is, admittedly, considerable...I've only had sex with three women, and my longest relationship has been like 3 months.)

Also, this is not meant to be a "Help djeternal improve his sex life" post..it's meant to be a "Discuss the nuances of sex and help everybody get better at fucking" post. So indulge your own discussions, too, you fucking nymphomaniacs.

2/19/2014 11:16:11 AM

I have never heard of anyone getting "Easter Monday" off work until today...

2/19/2014 11:21:34 AM

you'll be pleased to find out that it really has nothing to do with Easter! those fucking lazy state workers.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easter_Monday#North_Carolina

2/19/2014 11:23:50 AM

Duke used to have a designated holiday on Easter Monday when I started here...they've since swapped it over to MLK Day instead.

2/19/2014 11:26:30 AM

My GF gets Easter Monday off. But the owners of her company are British, so they LOVE finding reasons to take off work. She gets the entire week of Christmas off.

2/19/2014 11:33:44 AM

soooooo... are they hiring?^

2/19/2014 5:11:54 PM

Had to ask a nurse for KY Jelly today and didn't realize how awkward it would be until after I said it. I decided to just go with it and winked. She said I could keep the tube.

2/19/2014 8:17:17 PM

I remember 10 years ago, this piece of Last Measure lore carried much more punch than it does now...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Uj8p6GNIRY

2/19/2014 8:53:22 PM

fuck people

2/19/2014 11:31:34 PM

Kinda miss you guys . . .

2/19/2014 11:45:14 PM

omg Steve Snake is back on the Intarwebz: https://twitter.com/RealSteveSnake

He's the developer of Kega Fusion, the best old-skool Sega emulator ever, emulating everything from the SG-1000 through SMS/GG/Genesis and even Sega CD and 32X!

About 4 years ago he released the final version of Kega Fusion so far, saying he had to "pack everything away," but it looks like he might resume work on it; unfortunately it's closed-source, and all in assembly, so it's not like someone else could have just picked up where he left off...

2/20/2014 2:51:11 AM

wow how do I even respond to a nutty email from a coworker directed at me...
jesus christ

2/20/2014 9:45:22 AM

forward it to hr

2/20/2014 9:50:29 AM

If you receive a group text message, and you dont know everyone in the group, please don't reply all. And if you sent the message, please don't reply all to that person. Can't stand that shit, now my phone keeps vibrating. Also, not all of us have unlimited text messages

2/20/2014 12:38:51 PM

^^^respond with, "Are you being sarcastic?"

2/20/2014 12:58:14 PM

http://www.uproxx.com/up/2014/02/map-sex-time-states/


this article is saying that, on average, sex doesn't last over 7 minutes???


wait, what??

2/20/2014 1:12:27 PM

a lot of underperforming outliers

2/20/2014 1:13:36 PM

I think I just stumbled upon the best house hunters ever! Lol

2/20/2014 7:32:16 PM

^^^^^^ It's not quite like that. It's not a threat. This guy is super sensitive and super paranoid, he thinks I'm manipulating people to get him kicked out of the lab.

Which is ludicrous.

2/20/2014 9:48:30 PM