feels like I'm out west... it is so cold in the AM, yet I know by the PM it will be perfect out (but get cold again as soon as the sun sets)

3/21/2014 9:21:43 AM

For me, that's my favorite time of year.

3/21/2014 2:00:10 PM

5 days. Weekends don't count. Even though they kind of do this weekend.

3/21/2014 5:01:32 PM

fuck. you. body.

3/21/2014 5:13:49 PM

I watched a 2 year old eat chalk today.

3/21/2014 6:24:10 PM

It's such an interesting texture, so I can't really blame them. I've seen children eat far worse

3/21/2014 6:25:15 PM

yea there are far worse things a kid can eat, just thought it was funny because he ran off with the only yellow, and all the kids were like "wtf where is yellow"

and then I heard a teacher shouting the kids name "Take that out of your mouth that is not edible"


yellow chalk all down his shirt, coating the entire inside of his mouth and he swallowed some, and the teacher had to put gloves on and do a recon mission of sorts..... and then I told the kids that "the chalk won't be yellow anymore "

3/21/2014 6:29:16 PM

When I was like 4 I ate the blue Easter egg dye pellet. I went to the bathroom to take a piss and started freaking out. My dad came in to check on me and he started freaking out. Took him a minute to realize why my piss was bright blue

3/21/2014 10:10:27 PM

I thought yellow and blue makes green

3/21/2014 11:16:26 PM

That makes me want to eat a dye pellet.

3/22/2014 12:06:09 AM

Why am I up?!?

3/22/2014 7:13:59 AM

If I dont spend the entire day outside, I've done it wrong

3/22/2014 7:56:33 AM

meh. It may have been green. That was a long time ago. I don't recall if I was dehydrated or not.

3/22/2014 10:08:42 AM

still blown away that i got my passport in under two weeks - and didn't even check my mail for two days, so it may have come earlier.

3/22/2014 10:21:17 AM

Where is my fucking rebate, Sprint? Rebates should be against the law.

3/22/2014 12:00:52 PM

this should probably be in the confessions thread but ill put it here.

for the past 4 nights i've been doing some consulting work with a black woman. shes 43, but looks like shes 31 maximum. shes definitely attractive, i wont lie.

most of my family hate blacks. and i tease them constantly because i tell them i would love to date a black girl (and i have dated/hooked up with black girls in the past). so im totally in a weird bind because i want to hit on this woman and hang out with her, but dont want to have my family screw me over by being so racist.

3/22/2014 7:27:20 PM

You introduce all your bang buddies to your family?

3/22/2014 8:23:22 PM

dyne already thinking about wifing this girl

3/22/2014 8:38:44 PM

aww, how precious.

3/22/2014 8:41:34 PM

I totally thought dyne was a chick

3/22/2014 9:13:04 PM

"31. When you shave a guinea pig it looks like a little hippo."

http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/facts-that-will-make-you-feel-incredibly-happy

3/22/2014 9:36:50 PM

We are pretty sure we heard some kind of animal mating when we were in our backyard. The thing that weirds me out is we honestly couldn't tell if it was frogs or birds or raccoons or something else.

3/22/2014 11:28:55 PM

buzzfeed is insidious.

3/22/2014 11:39:50 PM

wow, my new approximation gives accuracy to within 5% at

n= 6475319625000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

I love being an asymptotic theorist

3/23/2014 4:09:17 PM

lazy sunday

3/23/2014 4:11:18 PM

bedtime

3/24/2014 1:03:52 AM

I feel like somebody beat the shit out of me with a baseball bat.

3/24/2014 1:17:45 AM

^7

When you cook a guinea pig, it looks like a big rat.





I wanted to try guinea pig ("cuy") in Peru, but prepared whole like that was the only way I could find it, and I just couldn't get past the mental block. I settled for trying alpaca.

3/24/2014 1:40:28 AM

3/25/2014 4:44:17 AM

I have been awake for 27 hours and with the movers coming today, there will no nap time.

3/25/2014 8:31:28 AM

...

3/25/2014 8:44:11 AM

i haven't felt this emotionally drained in a long time. and so so singular.

3/25/2014 8:47:53 AM

That video made my entire week

3/25/2014 2:11:39 PM

good luck amos!!

3/25/2014 2:14:45 PM

Tonic water is just not as good without gin in it

3/25/2014 4:09:10 PM

This blue velvet (vanilla) cake mix is prettyyyyy and delicious.

3/25/2014 4:38:13 PM

what about a little lime, minka?

3/25/2014 4:38:57 PM

I hope no one ever volunteers me to do something again

Because damned if I do and damned if I don't.

3/25/2014 7:00:35 PM

Yay or nay?

3/25/2014 7:10:03 PM

sux that the Wii WFC is shutting down in May

3/25/2014 11:07:31 PM

good date tonight going out again this weekend

3/25/2014 11:08:13 PM

wtf

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/men-are-putting-their-penises-in-socks-on-instagram-for-canc

Not a prude, but better way for cancer awareness.

3/25/2014 11:12:01 PM

some days weeks I just want to bury my head in the sand...

3/26/2014 3:29:55 PM

Bury your head in whiskey with me on Friday!

3/26/2014 5:58:57 PM

temp job already offered me a promotion (on my 3rd day). I don't know if I want to take it because I want this to be a temp job and I don't want to put myself in a situation where it will fuck them if I leave.

3/26/2014 6:18:19 PM

^^ I will be there!!

3/26/2014 10:17:11 PM

2 days then it's all over! (For now)

3/26/2014 10:48:29 PM

not even 24 hours left! woooooooohoooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

3/27/2014 7:52:22 PM

Feels like this week has flown by

3/27/2014 8:46:48 PM

Far Future World is here!

3/27/2014 9:11:24 PM