The asshole in the office who thinks everyone gives a fuck that TWC hasnt fixed his internet at home!

11/16/2008 4:52:01 PM

I BET THEY'D CARE ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A SELF PROCLAIMED KINGPIN DRUG DEALER THOUGH SON.

11/16/2008 4:52:57 PM

I AM DRUG FREE SON!

11/16/2008 4:55:14 PM

I somehow arrived early and no one was here to witness it!

11/17/2008 9:36:09 AM

people suck here...they aren't doing their fucking jobs. i walk in everyday convincing myself that hitting one of them would be a really bad idea

11/17/2008 9:38:17 AM

I have to write 700 words about the results of one of our local awards categories and how they differ from last year. Except they are all exactly the same as last year aside from one runner-up. Filler, here I come.

11/17/2008 2:33:20 PM

when i'm stuck with the work van that has a shorted out reverse alarm... so instead of sounding like i'm backing up, I sound like i'm on fire and about to explode.

11/17/2008 2:34:25 PM

workinggg

11/17/2008 2:56:40 PM

employees coming to work wearing the exact same clothing day in day out

seriously, there's a tally my co-workers and I keep

11/17/2008 3:01:52 PM

Marcus, the antisocial graphic design dude, and myself get along pretty well. We have random whacko conversations in which we joust and take turns at either grossing out or shocking each other into the inability for retort (he usually wins, he's got a strange mind).

He also tends to put calls on speaker phone while he's working.

These two do not mix... we got on the topic of my parents euthanizing the family dog, and he was in the middle of saying something along the lines of, "Well, tell your parents that when they get old, they have to be euthanized too-" when the lady he was putting me in touch with picks up and instead of saying hello, just listens. She knows Marcus so we all got a good laugh, but wtf, have a little common curtesy.

11/18/2008 3:45:46 PM

ACTUAL WORK

11/18/2008 3:46:19 PM

Quote :

"employees coming to work wearing the exact same clothing day in day out"

How, exactly, do you keep track?

If I find something I like that fits well and is made well, I buy multiples. I have four of one of my favorite shirts.

I'm not the only woman who does this

11/18/2008 3:48:19 PM

if i tell you my boss isnt here dont call over and over and ask for him and if i tell you he will call you back.... wait for him to call you back dont call 5 times a day

11/18/2008 4:03:45 PM

^ I am guilty of this

11/18/2008 4:17:25 PM

Then you're an asshole.

11/18/2008 4:22:55 PM

An asshole who gets shit done

11/18/2008 4:23:21 PM

Motherfuckers who download screensavers and mouse pointer icons.

You deserve the viruses.

12/2/2008 12:38:46 PM

In Word when you are tracking changes and type "4th" or something and it converts the letters to superscript automatically, it tracks that change. I don't know why that annoys me but it happens to me almost every day.

12/3/2008 4:49:23 PM

like you need to turn off the setting??

12/3/2008 4:56:27 PM

There is a reason the receptionist asked everyone what kind of bagel to get for them. The everything was mine

12/5/2008 9:12:29 AM

my office mate

12/5/2008 9:26:53 AM

when two people in my office decide to play the office snitch role and start taking notes on what everyone else is doing, and lets it be known that they are doing it, and then a few hours later both of them are sleeping at their desk (for about 3 hours).

guess what fuckers, EVERYTIME YOU GO TO SLEEP I TAKE PICTURES OF YOU SLEEPING AT WORK HAHAHAHAHAHA

I know the boss will be less happy with you sleeping than he will be with me doing homework at work. Especially since he said I could.

HAHAHAHA.

12/8/2008 12:00:11 PM

Im all for going above and beyond and helping out and all that jazz, but Im not your goddamn secretary. You are in a different department for fuck's sake. Do you own damn work!

12/8/2008 12:07:36 PM

Screen touchers.

Keep your grubby fingers the fuck off of my screen.




My boss is the main transgressor so I can't even call him out.

12/8/2008 12:10:06 PM

^on a related note, screen lurkers.

the mofos who walk around and pop in, tryin to see what's on your screen.

12/8/2008 4:09:36 PM

^ that is my paralegal

12/8/2008 4:14:12 PM

People that wait until 4pm to tell you they need a 1500 page document printed and bound and shipped out via FedEx when they knew about this last week.

12/8/2008 4:21:16 PM

^ psh tell them you'll try but they shouldnt wait untill the end of the day

12/8/2008 4:26:52 PM

Female co-workers that decide to have lengthy conversations near your office, but do not include you in them because you aren't a female even though you can recite the gossip word for word.

12/8/2008 4:31:01 PM

The guy who walks around the office depressed and pissed off all day just because he wants someone to ask him whats wrong!

12/11/2008 10:25:48 AM

^That's a general life annoyance, not work annoyance

Quote :

"^on a related note, screen lurkers. the mofos who walk around and pop in, tryin to see what's on your screen. "

HOLY SHIT YES

Motherfucker, if I wanted you to see my screen, I'd call you over and show you shit. Oh, wait...I already do.

Screen lurkers are right up there with peripheral passive-agressive pansies: the ones who stand just barely in my peripheral vision (I'm at a front desk, and there's a good 270* of places for people to come and stand), won't say anything, stare me down, and are uncooperative as hell when I try to help them.
"Ma'am, can I help you?"
"ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...Uhm...I, uh....ummmmm...is there a courtesy phone?"
"yes, ma-"
"And I wanna do long distance"
"Then, no maam, there's not one available - it's local only"
And then she sits and stares for a few more moments.

[Edited on December 11, 2008 at 10:47 AM. Reason : words]

12/11/2008 10:44:05 AM

Solicitors. We get a few of these each month, random people just busting in trying to sell us coupons or wooden roses or what have you. No one here has ever bought anything from any of them.

12/11/2008 10:45:23 AM

^^the guy who is angry and depressed is also a screen lurker!!!!!

Mofo walks by and spots an email i got from my VP , then proceeds to get more angry and depressed because he never gets emails from VP's.



[Edited on December 11, 2008 at 10:46 AM. Reason : .]

12/11/2008 10:46:10 AM

lol, that guy is pwnt.


fuckin screen lurkers. hate 'em!

12/11/2008 1:50:05 PM

People who are more interested in being social than actually getting their shit done.

People who change plans for the whole office without consulting anyone.

12/11/2008 1:52:39 PM

My office just laid off 2 coworkers who are smart and I really enjoyed talking to throughout the day

but we're keeping on people who can't remember how to spell their own last names

12/11/2008 2:52:34 PM

Quote :

"People who change plans for the whole office without consulting anyone."

signed

12/11/2008 2:53:12 PM

i know my lunch smells good

if it smelled like shit, i wouldn't be eating it

12/11/2008 3:07:47 PM

Quote :

"the mofos who walk around and pop in, tryin to see what's on your screen. "

don't be a dick. share your good porn with everyone.

12/11/2008 3:14:51 PM

when new people think that they're your superior and order you to do things - why?

12/11/2008 3:20:47 PM

Superintendents who think they are Project Managers

12/16/2008 11:00:42 AM

finding out you do have to work next tuesday

12/16/2008 11:08:17 AM

Why would you not have to work on a workday?

12/16/2008 11:14:04 AM

Quote :

"employees coming to work wearing the exact same clothing day in day out seriously, there's a tally my co-workers and I keep"

why do you and your coworkers care so much? as long as they come to work wearing clothes that are clean and appropriate for their job, then who cares if they wore the same thing recently? unless you work at a fashion company or something....

12/16/2008 11:57:09 AM

it's not wearing it recently

it's wearing the same thing, exactly, for weeks at a time. and they know it's the same thing because he's spilled things on it before and continued wearing it for days on end.

12/16/2008 12:00:37 PM

well in that case...

12/16/2008 12:01:35 PM

haha we have this lady that has 4 dresses/outfits she cycles through which means one gets worn twice in the week.

12/16/2008 12:02:08 PM

^ lol only four?

12/16/2008 2:30:00 PM

Quote :

"I somehow arrived early and no one was here to witness it!"

And you couldn't think of anything to e-mail your management about? Sending management an e-mail at 7:00 a.m. is the electronic equivalent of saying "HAY LOOK AT ME I'M HERE EARLY."

Quote :

"Screen touchers. Keep your grubby fingers the fuck off of my screen."

For real.
I can think of one person who touched my screen several times so I always made it a point to touch his whenever he had to show me something. Sometimes I would wipe my finger at that point where my nostril meets my face to get a little bit of oil on it while he was talking and then touch his screen in revenge.

[Edited on December 16, 2008 at 2:51 PM. Reason : l]

12/16/2008 2:48:32 PM

tdub being slow when work is boring me

12/16/2008 2:58:59 PM