I don't particularly care if she's sleeping with the dude or not. Not my business. But she's obviously invested in this thing either physically or mentally (or both) and is concerned that he could just as easily do without her, or else she wouldn't be snooping around trying to figure out what might be pulling him away.

But I'm pretty confident her concern isn't whether or not he still cares about the ex. She's concerned that he doesn't care about her. The ex is not the issue. It's the status of the confessors "relationship" that is the issue. Bringing up the ex in conversation is just an incredibly transparent and roundabout way of forcing a relationship mile-marker and reeks of insecurity and will certainly give him an excuse to bail if it's already on his mind. Seriously, don't go this route. It'll just make the confrontation more about the confessors neediness and problems and give the guy an excuse to avoid his own indecision.

Be upfront. Make your demands. And be prepared to leave if you don't like the answer.

Just make the fucker straight up tell you if he wants to love you forever (oh oh oh).



Alright. I just quoted paula abdul. Time to log off for like a month.

[Edited on December 23, 2014 at 8:15 PM. Reason : ]

12/23/2014 8:10:57 PM

Of course, it's transparent. It's not supposed to be a trick or something.

But, whatevs, y'all go about demanding status updates on your relationships and dumping people because that's obviously the "adult" way to handle things.

12/23/2014 8:26:32 PM

I'm not sure I really understand why this is bothering you.

She can go your route and roundabout bring it up and give him the impression that she's insecure, jealous, and needy while unwittingly framing the discussion around her deficiencies.

Or she can face it head on and make him actually respect her.

12/23/2014 8:36:22 PM

?

It's not roundabout to use the precipitating issue to start a conversation about it. And if you're insecure and/or jealous, which a lot of people are, it's okay to let on.

I mean, you're espousing brutal honesty while simultaneously suggesting that she hide stuff and take some hard ass take-it-or-leave-it tactic two months in.

I'm not wildly opposed to what you're suggesting, but you're obviously working off some kind of doctrine that need not always apply. You're also making a bajillion assumptions about our confessor and what it is that she wants. It kinda undermines everything.

12/23/2014 9:36:14 PM

The other chick is most certainly NOT the precipitating issue.

Our confessor didn't just happen across the ex's facebook page and then "accidentally" discover her partners flattering comments toward her. That's not the order of events, and I'm kind of sad that you're so willing to take her for her word on that.

That's not what happened. Her partner got distant first. Then our confessor looked up little ms. pretty to confirm her initial suspicion. That's the actual order of events, and it's a little ridiculous to expect us to believe otherwise. So this little thought experiment where our confessor wants us to believe that she innocently came across this information is some busch league jedi mind shit and is designed to conceal her true concern: is that sorry son-of-a-bitch stringing her along?


I'm not working off of any doctrine. Unless self-respect is a doctrine.


Anyway. To the confessor: look, lady. Do as you please. I'm a little embarrassed that I've allowed myself to care as much as I already have. I'm rooting for ya!

[Edited on December 23, 2014 at 10:20 PM. Reason : ]

12/23/2014 9:56:04 PM

Confession update!

Quote :

"Thanks everyone for responding to my confession. Many of you guys are posting some things that I have considered myself already and some of you are posting new things for me to consider. To start with: I honestly did not go on her page looking to find some evidence that he was talking to her. I was actually surprised to see it. She has the same first name as a good friend of mine, so now that I looked at her page the first time, her name comes up when I type my friend's name in to go to her page. It's not like I'm checking her page every day. I look at it like once a month. I had never seen a post from him on her page before, so it's not like I was expecting to see one now. I got the impression that he doesn't facebook much and I don't really either anymore so I didn't see much of a reason to add him. I thought that his being distant was either because he is really stressed about his job right now or because I had done something wrong. I never guessed it had to do with him having feelings for someone else. When we started dating, I made it clear to him that I was looking for more than just a physical relationship and he said he was too. I was just seeing where it went and hadn't felt the need to press the issue quite yet of what exactly the relationship between us was. We seemed pretty into each other so I didn't want to put pressure on us by having what seemed to me to be an unnecessary conversation about commitment. Maybe I watch too many romantic comedies or something, because I always have this deep fear that asking a guy for a relationship will scare him away. That's dumb, but I do try to minimize the possibility that I'm going to be more into someone than they are to me. I know there's nothing wrong with that and it's bound to happen, but I do find it to be embarrassing as JesusHChrist said. This quote is pretty dead on: "But I'm pretty confident her concern isn't whether or not he still cares about the ex. She's concerned that he doesn't care about her." After thinking more on it, it really isn't him calling her beautiful that bothers me the most. I feel like that's more of a symptom that things aren't going well between us. It's the fact that he is barely communicating with me but pretending nothing is wrong when I contact him. And now that I saw that, I can't keep pretending that it's work stressors that are wrong with him. My instinct right now is just to be like "fuck this, dude doesn't care about me" and just break up with him. But I guess that's the kind of thinking that leads me to still be clueless about how to maintain relationships. So I'm gonna talk to him about, but I'm waiting until after Christmas so I don't fuck up anybody's holiday."

12/23/2014 11:43:17 PM

Quote :

". My instinct right now is just to be like "fuck this, dude doesn't care about me" and just break up with him. "

Trust your instinct! If he's still not that into you in two months, and you are already cautious about the whole thing, I wouldn't keep giving him your time.

Sounds like you made up your mind, but are staying in this to keep from having a breakup of some kind.

12/24/2014 4:20:36 PM

well this was in my inbox this morning

Quote :

"I think marko's drawings suck"

12/31/2014 8:27:51 AM

^LOL

I've got one I'm ashamed to share: once in a blue moon, HUR is relatable.

1/4/2015 12:08:41 PM

A new confession:

Quote :

"I've dated my girlfriend for 5 years. She moved to DC in November. I have just been offered a position in my job field in DC so I can move in with her... only I'm finding myself not excited at all about the idea of moving to DC. I've lived in Raleigh almost all my life and just hate the idea of leaving the city/family/friends I love... but at the same time I hate the idea of leaving her. Shit sucks. I don't know what to do."

1/4/2015 9:44:09 PM

Damn bro

Had you guys discussed her moving to DC?

1/4/2015 9:47:05 PM

maybe he and Restricted can do a Wife Swap

1/4/2015 9:57:27 PM

Taking confessions

4/9/2015 7:47:24 PM

Quote :

"well i slept with a married woman this weekend. i clearly have no morals left."

6/9/2015 11:48:53 AM

Spoiler alert. It was with his/her own wife

6/9/2015 9:17:05 PM

I, too, will receive your confidential proclamations of debauchery.

6/10/2015 7:45:39 AM

I, too, will receive your confidential proclamations of debauchery.

6/10/2015 7:45:39 AM

If she hadn't slept with you, she probably would have just slept with someone else instead.

6/10/2015 9:20:57 AM

bttt

Send me your confessions, children

7/28/2015 1:38:09 PM

Quote :

"I told my boss that I had to leave early today because my girlfriend was in a car wreck. I had to leave work to go to a job interview"

7/28/2015 11:34:41 PM

Quote :

"I have been hooking up with a 21-year-old for kinky sex/bedroom stuff. He's 10 years younger than me. No regrets! "

8/17/2015 6:28:57 PM

MOAR!

8/19/2015 1:30:14 PM

Quote :

"I have considered BridgetSPK a friend on TWW for years. But I'm still kinda pissed that she forced elkaybie off of this TWW machine. Never before has a user's posts made me question so severely the smell of their nethers."

I missed some drama apparently

8/27/2015 9:33:39 AM

I'll take confessions

8/27/2015 9:36:55 AM

Quote :

"I had a fantastic first date last night! We met for drinks at a bar, walked next door a little later and ate a nice dinner. Afterwards we didn't really want to end the date, so we took a walk through some of historic Raleigh parts, talked on a park bench for a bit, had sex on the park bench, and then we both said our goodbyes. This may be my favorite date scenario now."

8/27/2015 10:37:34 AM

I call bullshit. there's hobos all up in those parks sleepin on those benches. you didn't fuck on no park bench

8/27/2015 10:42:55 AM

dtownral finally embracing Moore Square

8/27/2015 10:44:09 AM

Maybe they're both bums. (I don't think there are hobos in Raleigh. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE GODDAMMIT)

8/27/2015 10:44:30 AM

whatever I'm just saying I don't think there was a free park bench just available for casual sex in the park

also I've been updated on the drama from above. I already didn't like BridgetSPK, but now she's officially down as a raging cunt beast.

8/27/2015 10:46:39 AM

coming from ddk, that's a compliment

8/27/2015 10:48:28 AM

Was the confessor a male or female? For some reason I'd be much more likely to believe this if it was a female confessor.

8/27/2015 10:49:17 AM

^ It's a secret, BigMan157 can send me a pm if he wants you to know his gender



[Edited on August 27, 2015 at 10:51 AM. Reason : a]

8/27/2015 10:51:24 AM

Quote :

"There's a lot more cousin-fucking in my family history than I'm comfortable with. I'm talking about people who would've been born between the 60s and the 80s. My dad was introducing me to people at our family reunion and he kept explaining how people are "double-kin" and it just squicked me out. I'm like "Can we just pick one way they're related to us and just never mention the other one? Geez.""

8/27/2015 11:10:23 AM

ew ew ew

8/27/2015 11:19:47 AM

8/27/2015 11:20:18 AM

8/27/2015 11:28:51 AM

sounds like most of the people i went to elementary school with.

like 75% of my class were related to each other in some way. then they grew up and dated.

8/27/2015 11:32:21 AM

Im going to touch justinh524's bootyhole

[Edited on August 27, 2015 at 11:41 AM. Reason : Whoops, wrong thread]

8/27/2015 11:41:16 AM

not to white knight or anything, but I think anonymous confessions of the form "I don't like Wolfwebber X because blah" are just cowardly bullshit.

if you don't have the guts to talk shit to somebody from behind a basically anonymous screen name, then don't talk shit to them at all.

8/27/2015 11:43:23 AM

Quote :

"I don't like JeffreyBSG because he's a whiny little bitch."

8/27/2015 11:47:12 AM

Lol...say that without hiding behind EMCE, you lily-livered vagina.

8/27/2015 11:48:59 AM

Quote :

"I think JeffreyBSG is a dirty cock hungry slut bucket"

8/27/2015 1:17:01 PM

Taking more confession!

8/27/2015 5:01:53 PM

^^^^^It's not anonymous. EMCE is the only who talks that way about me.

And I didn't run anyone off of here, but if necessary, I'll own up to being the proverbial straw.

I did make a really terrible post.

8/27/2015 6:57:53 PM

hey, you're right, that is EMCE's style...now I feel silly. I should have chosen a better opportunity to make my stand against this practice in question (of shit-talking via this thread)

still, I was a big fan of the referenced post, and my reading comprehension sucks. so.

8/27/2015 7:34:26 PM

Quote :

"I did make a really terrible post. "

You did, but no one is perfect. We all make mistakes.

8/27/2015 10:53:58 PM

sometimes terrible threads call for terrible posts

8/27/2015 11:01:44 PM

what post I miss

8/27/2015 11:16:45 PM

Mentioned something about, "when soandso's baby dies, we'll take pictures". I'm pretty sure I'm way off...but I think it involved talking about someone's baby dying.

8/28/2015 8:48:05 AM

IIRC, it was "I'm going to murder everyone's babies, take pictures of them, then eat them".

8/28/2015 9:06:18 AM