i'm glad this week is over...

it's been very emotional and draining....with quite a bit of fun thrown in...

i made some very poor decisions regarding someone i love very much this weekend....and for that i'm devastated....i can't change what i did...or, rather, what i didn't do....i wasn't thinking and ended up doing something very selfish....even though that wasn't my intent....i know how it has affected me and now i hope to be able to rectify it...i know he'll forgive me...but i can't live with myself if i think i have contributed to the potential train wreck that could come from this entire situation...

earlier in the week i was in the position of being the one that was hurt badly by someone i care about very much...i may be very wrong...but i think that person felt all the things that i am feeling now even though the situations are very different...

maybe it's all about balance....maybe i needed to feel what the other person was feeling...maybe i needed a wake up call that i need to reprioritize my life...and re-evaluate why i do some of the things i do...i ride a very high horse and i think it was time for me to fall off and realize that we're all human and fallible....i'm just as capable of hurting someone i love as i am of being hurt by someone i love...

if nothing else...i'm going to practice what i preach...i'm going to think about the repercussions on the lives of other people when i do things and act more carefully because of it...


i know tww is not a blog...but i had to put my thoughts in writing in order to sort them out....

4/26/2009 9:23:03 AM

Much better morning today....

4/26/2009 9:51:16 AM

i think things will be alright

4/26/2009 10:07:33 AM

I've got too much stuff going on right now but am looking forward to escaping Charlotte at least the next 2 weekends!

4/26/2009 10:11:50 AM

another day of moving in 90 degree weather

wtf april?

4/26/2009 10:12:06 AM

awesome weather

4/26/2009 11:25:34 AM

my mom is still crazy and controlling. she wants me to live at home for an entire year and commute to raleigh everyday for work and does not want me getting my own place.

bat shit insane

4/26/2009 12:02:01 PM

tell her you need a new car to make the drive


and that you need gas money

4/26/2009 12:16:18 PM

tina come get some ham!

[Edited on April 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM. Reason : ]

4/26/2009 12:29:22 PM

i can't bring myself to study...

4/26/2009 12:56:23 PM

i can't bring myself to study...


going to the park later

4/26/2009 1:23:07 PM

I don't need to study.

i know everything

I'm Big Business and i approved this message.

4/26/2009 1:24:16 PM

Quote :

"GoldenGirl All American 3341 Posts user info edit post my mom is still crazy and controlling. she wants me to live at home for an entire year and commute to raleigh everyday for work and does not want me getting my own place. bat shit insane "

she's only doing this because you cant get a job and support yourself... even with a masters in whatever bullshit topic you did. ... i think it was poli sci ?

4/26/2009 1:28:38 PM

Is there anything I can do with someone from out of town that's at least a little Raleigh-ey after 6 p.m. on a Sunday?

4/26/2009 2:03:34 PM

^^ looks like it runs in the family

I'm Big Business and i approved this message.

4/26/2009 2:04:38 PM

4/26/2009 3:15:46 PM

Quote :

"Is there anything I can do with someone from out of town that's at least a little Raleigh-ey after 6 p.m. on a Sunday?"

What the crap is Raleigh-ey?

4/26/2009 3:19:40 PM

are you really having a hard time putting it together?

lack of identity is raleighs identity.


take them to the barn.

4/26/2009 4:01:56 PM

i am watching a bbq special on the travel channel

and i'm making spaghetti for supper

4/26/2009 4:10:10 PM

Mark Sanchez sounds incredibly white

4/26/2009 4:13:26 PM

Have ourselves a cool one at the Flora-Bama, yeah!

[Edited on April 26, 2009 at 4:23 PM. Reason : haha just looked and this is mullet toss weekend. i'll go down there one day...]

4/26/2009 4:14:34 PM

Quote :

"i'm glad this week is over... it's been very emotional and draining....with quite a bit of fun thrown in..."

yikes your post made me and i don't even know what any of it means. but i wanted to say at least you looked purrrrty on friday night!!

4/26/2009 4:16:43 PM

Quote :

"she's only doing this because you cant get a job and support yourself... even with a masters in whatever bullshit topic you did. ... i think it was poli sci ? "

no she is doing it b.c everyone in her family lived at home until they were 30 or left b/c of marriage. its something you white people would not understand.

[Edited on April 26, 2009 at 4:33 PM. Reason : k]

4/26/2009 4:27:46 PM

lexington nc on the travel channel bbq special

4/26/2009 4:30:07 PM

Quote :

"What the crap is Raleigh-ey?"

Yeah ... part of the problem. I don't know. But if they're coming to "see the city" I feel like I should at least be able to come up with something. Meh.

4/26/2009 4:37:29 PM

if they're coming here to "see the city" they've already set themselves up for disappointment

4/26/2009 4:39:40 PM

I don't think that was the real reason.

4/26/2009 4:41:20 PM

^^^^thanks chick....and you were cute as ever

4/26/2009 4:51:41 PM

yay for a lazy day!

4/26/2009 4:54:11 PM

shower then walk to the bar?

likely.

4/26/2009 5:00:26 PM

i feel bad but i really might kill my dad this summer. honestly. i don't know how i'm going to survive. he is annoying the shit out of me.

4/26/2009 5:01:22 PM

think I ate too much

4/26/2009 5:35:32 PM

FUCK YOU!
I hate your lack of motivation, I hate your lack of responsibility, I hate your dirtiness, I hate how you go about your life and tread through mine. I loathe your attitudes and your demeanor. I'm disgusted by your laziness and your habits. I'm fucking sick of it all.
What few goals you have claimed to hold as your own you cannot even begin to achieve. Your need for someone to hold your hand and your blatant criticism of how I lived years ago is beyond hypocrisy. The years pass, you grow older, and yet you live with an unhealthily immature view for life. I know you’re better than that, or at least thought you were.

So fuck you. Fuck you for projecting that on to me, and for not taking steps yourself to prevent what was set in motion. I’m sorry for what I’ve done and what I will inevitably do. But believe you me… I have stayed in the position I am now for years struggling to try and stay and help.
And believe you me, I’m about fucking done.

/blog of what i'm thinking about at this very moment.

4/26/2009 5:50:57 PM

you could have just sent me a message if you were that upset by me

4/26/2009 5:52:57 PM

And sounds like you have a lot of built up tension you need to let out. bwn?

4/26/2009 5:53:13 PM

^ lol. no thanks, i'll run it off.

4/26/2009 5:54:40 PM

someone buy my shit....

4/26/2009 5:57:14 PM

post a pic of the armoire!

4/26/2009 6:03:06 PM

slow ass day at werk

4/26/2009 6:07:43 PM

the sun got me good during tennis this afternoon


now i just wanna lay around and watch the canes game! GO CANES

4/26/2009 6:09:09 PM

^^^haha as soon as i get the camera over here


maybe john kruk will let me use his...

4/26/2009 6:12:05 PM

ughhhh. i mowed like almost half of the lawn and i think i broke the lawn mower because i ran over a stupid piece of string/rope. ugh ugh ugh. now it won't start.

4/26/2009 6:42:04 PM

would be nice if people that care too much about music would stop talking about music all the time to people that could care less about music

4/26/2009 6:42:51 PM

Two squares
married on 4/25 - two more squares.

Two pairs of squares

hellooooooooooooooooo annual beach trip

4/26/2009 6:46:08 PM

woe is me. i do nothing right. i try to be a good little servant girl and mow the lawn, but i break the lawn mower.

seriously, world. SERIOUSLY!!!??? what have i ever done to you

4/26/2009 6:48:41 PM

You've been a stupid bitch your whole life.

4/26/2009 6:51:14 PM

takes one to know one, right?

4/26/2009 6:51:59 PM

I guess, you don't know me though.

4/26/2009 6:54:30 PM

stop exaggerating...you didnt break the lawnmower

4/26/2009 6:55:01 PM

interesting point you made there

3585

[Edited on April 26, 2009 at 6:55 PM. Reason : .]

4/26/2009 6:55:22 PM