^^yes. because usually a first date is just drinks or something simple like that. Hell paying the tab for a first date is usually less than my tab would be alone.

^eh, sushi is a win win since i love it too.




also, if you seriously just called it the K-Close you need to quit reading dating tip websites. Jesus

5/1/2013 9:24:19 AM

Quote :

"do you guys always pay on first date, even if she turns out completely different from profile ( ugly, boring, etc.)"

I let this girl pay for her own drink when she showed up looking nothing like her pics. I will be damned if I reward dishonesty.

5/1/2013 9:30:23 AM

Quote :

"do you guys always pay on first date, even if she turns out completely different from profile ( ugly, boring, etc.)"

Sure. Basic manners.

5/1/2013 9:47:38 AM

Quote :

"do you guys always pay on first date, even if she turns out completely different from profile ( ugly, boring, etc.)"

No. The first date sets the stage for the relationship if there's going to be one. If you're going for the "traditional" relationship (male provider, female baby-maker/home maker), then sure, it makes sense to pay. As a male, you're trying to establish yourself as a provider, and the female wants to understand that you have the means and willingness to provide.

Personally, that traditional relationship paradigm doesn't work for me. I want an equal or a partner, which is what I got, and in my current relationship we split the bill and continue to split the bill unless it's inconvenient to do so.

From a more "pick up"-y standpoint, I think there are strong arguments to not pay on the first date. Even though plenty of women say that the man paying is mandatory, not everyone feels that way.

5/1/2013 9:55:12 AM

personally, i think splitting the bill is ridiculous...especially if you are in actually in a relationship...

i prefer "you pay this time...i pay next time" or vice versa...


i try to always pay when i'm the one who initiates the date/outing/whatever...unless he's adamant about paying...


i'm not saying you're ridiculous...i just have always thought that was silly when it comes to "dating"...

it makes it seem like it's not even dating because nobody is providing anything "special" for the other party...you're more or less just hanging out with your buddy...

[Edited on May 1, 2013 at 10:04 AM. Reason : adfd]

5/1/2013 10:03:56 AM

^ Pretty spot on.

5/1/2013 10:06:26 AM

^awwwwwww

5/1/2013 10:07:02 AM

People in their 30s are so old fashioned.

Quote :

"it makes it seem like it's not even dating because nobody is providing anything "special" for the other party...you're more or less just hanging out with your buddy..."

If the something "special" you're providing is paying for dinner, then there are problems. I'm not opposed to a relationship feeling like "hanging out with your buddy", personally.

[Edited on May 1, 2013 at 10:10 AM. Reason : ]

5/1/2013 10:08:08 AM

yeah i'm not one for the whole going dutch on everything plan. if you are in a good relationship it all equals out in the end. perhaps the girl picks up the groceries for the week and does the cooking. but going 50/50 on everything seems like more work. Do you guys order from the same tiers and have the same amount of drinks and courses to keep everything weighted evenly?

the one plus about my ex was that she always had cash from being in the service industry herself. and she liked to tip more than me. So i'd always pick up the bill but she'd handle the tip.

5/1/2013 10:10:17 AM

and people in their 20s are selfish...

Quote :

"I want an equal or a partner"

if making her pay for herself for everything is what it takes to be equal partners then there is also a problem



see...i can make broad generalizations too

[Edited on May 1, 2013 at 10:12 AM. Reason : asdf]

5/1/2013 10:10:39 AM

I generally paid on the first date, although as others have said it was usually something casual and cheap. There were a few that just turned out to be terrible and then I only split if they offered to.

5/1/2013 10:11:54 AM

People in their 20s are poor... (I'm actually still barely in my 20s...)

And with a few exceptions, I've always made more than more than my date/significant other. Splitting the bill would put more hardship on them than me. And now that I'm engaged and live with her, it's all going to the same end result anyways. Why be a pain in the ass to the waiter/bartender when you can just switch it up anyways.

I did date a few older women that were extremely well off...but in that case, I think them footing the bill would have made it look like they were my sugar momma. So me paying kind of diffused some awkwardness.

5/1/2013 10:14:52 AM

Yeah in general I pay for meals out but she pays for a good majority of the groceries and stuff so I figure it basically evens out in the end.

5/1/2013 10:17:29 AM

I too have a disdain for profiles deactivated in the midst of good conversation.

I think I'd rather pay for a shitty first date and avoid the awkwardness of going dutch and I certainly pay if it was a good date. Like someone said above I pretty much always do drinks, so it's not crazy expensive or anything. Even the most liberal/feminist women I know like guys to pay on the first date.

5/1/2013 10:17:46 AM

Haven't signed on in months and I've got six messages. Only one out of the six is hot

I shall be messaging her back.

5/1/2013 10:20:10 AM

^she's already moved on man.



whoever a few pages back made the comment about searching for newest member first was exactly right. apparently the girl i've been talking to had only been a member for less than a day when I contacted her. it definitely makes you front and center as opposed to just another in a long line of failed meets or ignored messages. A+ advice, will read again.

and i swear women have a sixth sense about men who are seeing someone. it seems like my profile has blown up with more winks and messages in the last week than in the last month combined.

5/1/2013 10:22:11 AM

Quote :

"Even the most liberal/feminist women I know like guys to pay on the first date."

BUT THEY WANT TO BE YOUR EQUAL!!!!!!!

5/1/2013 10:23:14 AM

Generally paid on the first (get drinks, do food or something else on the 2nd).. offer to bounce to another bar for beer / dessert if you think its going well.

I'm fine on doing every-other on dinners though. I think a good rule is you pick, you pay, then let them pick the place next time. Can say something like 'I picked the place I'll get it.. next time why don't you pick', only I'm not that smooth, but it somehow works out.

5/1/2013 10:24:22 AM

Quote :

"yeah i'm not one for the whole going dutch on everything plan. if you are in a good relationship it all equals out in the end. perhaps the girl picks up the groceries for the week and does the cooking. but going 50/50 on everything seems like more work. Do you guys order from the same tiers and have the same amount of drinks and courses to keep everything weighted evenly? "

We don't split 50/50 on everything, we just use common sense. The point is that I'm not paying for everything all the time.

Quote :

"if making her pay for herself for everything is what it takes to be equal partners then there is also a problem"

I don't make her pay for everything. Like I said, we use common sense, but in general we try to keep it equal.

On the first date with my current girlfriend, I planned to split the bill, and she actually suggested it first, so there wasn't anything awkward about it. I don't think this is an ironclad rule or anything, but I don't think paying for the first date is mandatory or even preferred.

Quote :

"Even the most liberal/feminist women I know like guys to pay on the first date."

That's because they don't believe in equality, they just want life to be easier for them.

[Edited on May 1, 2013 at 10:31 AM. Reason : ]

5/1/2013 10:29:05 AM

It's def preferred.

5/1/2013 10:30:58 AM

Quote :

"but I don't think paying for the first date is mandatory or even preferred. "

It might not be mandatory...but it's definitely preferred.

5/1/2013 10:35:50 AM

So if you go on a date with someone you met online and you (guys) do pay, but aren't interested in seeing her again, how do you let her know that? If a guy didn't pay for me on a first date I'd assume he wasn't interested.

5/1/2013 10:42:38 AM

Quote :

"...you're more or less just hanging out with your buddy..."

some people want that in a relationship

if my reputation is tarnished because i didn't pay for her meal, i probably wouldn't want to date that person anyways

the only reasonable argument i've heard is that whoever does the inviting should pay

5/1/2013 10:43:16 AM

Just fucking tell her and don't be a pussy. I think it's a dick move to ask a girl out on a first date and make her pay for her half. You asked her. She would be sitting at home or doing something else if you didn't ask her out on the date. So don't make her pay for something she wouldn't be doing if you didn't initiate the date.

On the flip side...I've seen girls pay for their half when they weren't interested. I.E.: date is going shitty, dude sucks...so the bill comes and the guy offers to pay for the whole thing and the girl is like..."no, no...that's okay, I've got mine." Sorry buddy...not gonna happen.

5/1/2013 10:45:57 AM

omg im falling in love with LP all over again... again

i bet she giggles during sex too. omg so adorable

5/1/2013 10:46:18 AM

Quote :

"So if you go on a date with someone you met online and you (guys) do pay, but aren't interested in seeing her again, how do you let her know that? If a guy didn't pay for me on a first date I'd assume he wasn't interested."

There are so, so many ways of letting a girl know you are interesting in moving things forward without paying for their food.

If I'm not interested, I just don't follow up with them. It's pretty simple, and it's usually obvious at the conclusion of the date. I know it's cliche, but "chemistry" on a date is real.

Quote :

"Just fucking tell her and don't be a pussy. I think it's a dick move to ask a girl out on a first date and make her pay for her half. You asked her. She would be sitting at home or doing something else if you didn't ask her out on the date. So don't make her pay for something she wouldn't be doing if you didn't initiate the date."

This simply doesn't apply to online dating. You're both looking to go on dates. Yeah, the guy usually has to ask, but you were both planning to meet other people (presumably in real life) when you started using the service.

[Edited on May 1, 2013 at 10:50 AM. Reason : ]

5/1/2013 10:47:28 AM

Quote :

" if you go on a date with someone you met online and you (guys) do pay, but aren't interested in seeing her again, how do you let her know that? "

Usually I'll just stop texting her.

5/1/2013 10:49:06 AM

Quote :

"if my reputation is tarnished because i didn't pay for her meal, i probably wouldn't want to date that person anyways"

I don't think anyone is really saying that. Someone turned this argument into a "I ALWAYS SPLIT BECAUSE I'M A MODERN MAN AND WE'RE EQUAL...RAWR RAWR."

Regardless of whether you think relationships have change in the 21st century and that this isn't the 1950s anymore...if you ask a girl out on a date, you should pay. If she insists on paying for half..then fine, let her pay. And if you guys start dating and you both agree to split bills or pay for every other meal...then fine as well.

But it's also not chauvinistic to always offer to pay...especially if you make more money and/or share finances anyways. And again...if you iniate, then pay up.

5/1/2013 10:49:09 AM

it all boils down to this...

if you expect me to touch your penis on a regular basis...you better pay for at least half of the stuff we do together

that's pretty much the only thing that gives you that privilege over any other person i spend time with

5/1/2013 10:54:21 AM

Overthinking this.

It's not like you set a lifelong precedent by offering to buy drinks on your first date.

5/1/2013 11:06:18 AM

^ I think it should be based on who is asking. If a guy asks me out to dinner, I expect him to at least offer since he is asking for my company. (I always insist on paying my half, but I like the etiquette). Flipside, if I ask someone out, I offer to pay since I was the one asking. When we're actually seriously dating, then yeah...50/50 or whoever feels like paying.

Besides...if you ask someone out, you are requesting their company and trying to impress them. Not even offering to pay seems kinda tacky to me.

5/1/2013 11:16:47 AM

how about a years supply of MREs , Livinproof?

I'd still pay for dinner most of the time but the MRE stockpile should technically cover any slack right?

Well I have good news you giggling love-muffin

Now what is the first step in the path to penis touching?

Till now I've relied on booze making me into an uninhibited genital conveyance device.

This "sober dating" thing has me interested

5/1/2013 11:17:28 AM

sorry boo...

i currently have someone paying for half my meals

5/1/2013 11:19:00 AM

we can still go out to movies though. i'm sure of it

5/1/2013 11:21:46 AM

as long as you can stay awake through the entire thing!

5/1/2013 11:22:35 AM

shouldn't be a problem since I will be choosing the movie

5/1/2013 11:26:04 AM

fair enough

5/1/2013 11:26:32 AM

LP how many dates did you make this guy pay for before you touched his penis?

5/1/2013 11:27:36 AM

All I had to do was pay for your diet soda and occasional food? I even gave you a free cheese stick!

5/1/2013 11:29:07 AM

sweet

pick me up at 7. literally any day of the week. I'll work on the movie thing en route

5/1/2013 11:29:50 AM

^^^i just said he's paying...i didn't say i was penis touching

^^but you wouldn't be getting married if that had happened

^k...i'll be there sometime

5/1/2013 11:37:52 AM

Yeah:

Quote :

"like girls you were talking to just disappear off the site"

5/1/2013 11:41:12 AM

Doesn't that usually mean they blocked you?

5/1/2013 11:45:52 AM

Ah yeah. It could. Or they deactivated.

LP is a tease. Better put out or be shut out.

5/1/2013 11:57:19 AM

You can't block people on here. You can only hide them from your search

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

5/1/2013 11:59:02 AM

I really wish LP was touching penis.

It would make me feel better.

So go touch some penis.

5/1/2013 12:02:02 PM

Practice makes perfect.

5/1/2013 12:09:22 PM

Jesse I wish you lived in Raleigh.

5/1/2013 12:40:46 PM

Quote :

" I think it's a dick move to ask a girl out on a first date and make her pay for her half. You asked her. She would be sitting at home or doing something else if you didn't ask her out on the date. So don't make her pay for something she wouldn't be doing if you didn't initiate the date."

That was my philosophy even when I was in a LTR. If I asked Jordan to do something then I paid for her, if the event/outing was her idea then i would let her pay. Although she was also in school still so I never expected it to even out.

I usually pay for the 1st date and if they want to pay I offer to let them get next time or the next round of drinks (if we are switching venues.)

5/1/2013 12:46:54 PM

Quote :

"On the first date with my current girlfriend, I planned to split the bill, and she actually suggested it first,"

this if often a trap. women will offer to pay and then talk shit about you to her friends if you accept.

the guy should pay for the first date especially if he asked her out

5/1/2013 5:23:35 PM