dear absolutapril's lips,

Come on over this way...I've got a couple of friends you might like

Love,

9/21/2004 1:12:38 PM

4^

9/21/2004 1:13:03 PM

dear computer,

please install XP faster.

thanks,
-Brian-

9/21/2004 1:14:06 PM

dear tuesdays,

why must you suck so bad?
i hate you now!!

Betsy

9/21/2004 1:27:06 PM

Is the TV an inanimate object when there are pictures that move and people that speak?

9/21/2004 1:30:49 PM

dear this thread

thanks for coming back
i've thought of several letters i needed to write, but never bothered to look you up...

welcome back

your pal

9/21/2004 1:32:56 PM

Dear XP,

Thanks for being done.

-Brian-






Dear AutoCAD 2k4,

Please be like XP and install without problems.

Thanks,
-Brian-

9/21/2004 1:42:53 PM

Dear Hot Dog Buns,

Thanks for finally making those commie meat hot dog bastards put 10 wieners in instead of 8.

Regards,
Eric

9/21/2004 1:51:41 PM

Dear search engine,
Please find me a job. Maybe 70k a year, 3 weeks vacation, crazy benefits and a company car.
Ignore my pathetic degrees. Or just find me money to open my own business.

Brian

9/21/2004 1:53:32 PM

Dear Five-star pencil holder,

thank you for coming back to me. You had all my pencils and nifty shit. I decided I needed a better solution than reaching my hand into the bottom of my backpack through compasses and pocket knives to find a pencil 6 times a day. Your disappearance mocked my sudden stab of organization, but your return has been followed by efficiency. No more accidental stabs yet. yay!
dan

9/21/2004 2:00:05 PM

Dear UT Firealarm,

Die. Die of gonorea and rot in hell.

Your pal,
Andy

9/21/2004 2:02:43 PM

dear bottled wa

why do you make me dizzy? what did I do to you?

9/22/2004 1:19:21 AM

Dear Doritos,

Thanks. You're wonderful.

Love, Ronny.

9/22/2004 1:20:38 AM

dear motivation,
where have you gone? my work's not gonna do itself ya no

i miss u,
chris

9/22/2004 1:22:30 AM

Dear beer in my fridge, please multiply for me so that I don't have to drive to the store tonight.

Much luv

9/22/2004 1:24:39 AM

Dear clock,

Is it really 1:24 am already?

fuck

9/22/2004 1:25:01 AM

dear clock,

can we speed things up to ... maybe Friday night?

sincerely,
katie

9/22/2004 1:25:04 AM

^haha

great minds, think kind of alike

9/22/2004 1:25:51 AM

Dear unnecessarily hard saddle...
I did not enjoy no-stirrup work today

9/22/2004 1:26:15 AM

yeah that was pretty crazy we both wrote a letter to a clock. not good

9/22/2004 1:26:31 AM

Dear Alarm Clock,
I am sorry I threw you aganist the wall this morning but I was hung over. I hope the duct tape I used to hold you togeter makes up for me breaking you in half. Have a nice day and try not to be so loud in the morning.

Love,
easymac

9/22/2004 1:28:52 AM

dear annoying tigger alarm clock,

as stupid and irritating as you are...
please decide to go off tomorrow morning
sleeping through class is not good.
preciate it.

luv,
katie

9/22/2004 1:31:05 AM

Dear Spicy Chicken Burrito of Taco Bell,

Why the HELL do you give me diarrhea whenever I eat you out?!

Oh well, it's okay. I love you and I'll eat you again tomorrow.

9/22/2004 1:36:18 AM

Dear bed,

please allow me to sleep comfortably so i can be rested for the long day of work tomorrow.

Thanks,
-Brian-

9/22/2004 1:39:30 AM

Dear Car,

Thanks for getting me back and forth to work each day. I promise to get you a tune up soon.

9/22/2004 1:40:25 AM

dear easy mac,

why cant i make you right?
i dont think ur really sposed to
put 2/3 cup water...

9/22/2004 1:46:28 AM

dear lil jon's sunglasses,

hide his eyes...he is an ugly mofo

9/22/2004 9:18:42 PM

dear quia homework,
you speak too fast and i hate you

9/22/2004 9:19:30 PM

Dear Shellfish,
I realize stealing a bite of you from my sisters wasnt the nicest thing, but did you really have to make me sick? It's day #2 and the doctors think I'm allergic to you. The benadryl is nice and all, but I much prefer not feeling as bad as I do.

Please dont look so tasty if you're bad for me,
Misha

9/22/2004 9:22:17 PM

Dear chem book,
Could you diffuse all your knowledge into my brain please? I'd only need it for a few hours.
Thanks

9/23/2004 12:38:33 AM

ditto

9/23/2004 12:39:29 AM

Dear Ilegally Acquired Firearm,

The last time you came around
you crippled my style
stole my first child
your barrel was broke
you aint spray right
didn't give a fuck who you hit
as long as the drama was lit
next time, jam in your owner's hands

9/23/2004 12:43:16 AM

dear page 4,
i never thought i'd see you.
who knew people would be bored enough to write letters to inanimate objects?
well, i'll talk to you again tomorrow

9/23/2004 2:30:25 AM

dear september 23rd,
Please be a good day for me and my friends in all the new things that we try to overcome.
-Dennis

9/23/2004 2:45:06 AM

Dear Kroger
Thank you for being open 24 hours, unlike all those other pussy stores that close at 2 AM, and allowing me the opportunity to eat this delicious Stoufer's pizza. I'll see you tomorrow; homework is being very bitchy this week.

9/23/2004 3:15:49 AM

Dear Foyer Floor,
I'd appreciate it if you tell the carpet
guys to go ahead and get those 2 feet
carpeted, tonight, when I busted my
ass, if it had not been for that guy
standing there, I would have died.
Also, tell Andrew I'm angry at him for
being a bad manager and making fun
of my fall.

I'm upset,
Sam

9/23/2004 4:25:16 AM

dear sucky microwave,,
why did you have to fuck up so
i couldn't finish cooking my ramen noodles
i hate you, and now you WILL be replaced
you suck

Betsy Ann

9/23/2004 7:48:34 PM

Dear HTML and Beer,
I love you both

9/23/2004 7:55:52 PM

dear new laptop,

i love you
your 17 inch screen is everything i dreamed of and more
i will never go back to my old ibm
dont worry

i love you forever
or atleast until you become obselete and i want a new toy

xoxoxoxox
jessica

9/23/2004 7:57:21 PM

Dear Wireless Networking,

In the Library, you rock my face off. In Daniels you can suck my balls.

Love,
Eric

9/23/2004 7:58:52 PM

dear ramen noodles,
i'm sorry i had to throw you in the
trashcan. i will try to cook another
pack of you when my microwave gets replaced
until next time, i'll miss you

Betsy Ann

9/23/2004 8:02:48 PM

dear trackball,
please start working again. using the computer without you or a mouse is really hard. i promise to treat you better.

thanks,
-Brian-



dear computer,
please recognize the E: drive. i need some stuff and cna't get to it if you dont recognize it.
hurry please.

thanks,
-Brian-

[Edited on September 23, 2004 at 8:12 PM. Reason : ad]

9/23/2004 8:10:48 PM

dear E-40's style,
why do you suck so bad? cheat on him and head to a rapper with talent.

Love,

Deez Nuts

9/24/2004 12:35:47 AM

dear friday,
please go away. i dont want to have to do bloodwork
early in the morning. damn my psychiatrist.

ps. can u tell NEXT friday to come really really soon?
i want my brother and sister in law to leave my house
like fucking NOW. im tired of their dumb asses invading
my space. and their stupid cat too.

9/24/2004 12:40:09 AM

Hi Friday. I'm glad I have nothing to do.
Hi Saturday. Ditto, except that damn 8 AM meeting.

9/24/2004 12:41:05 AM

dear headache,

bother me when i have a real reason to have one....say after sat. nite

luv

juan

9/24/2004 12:41:41 AM

Dear orange soda,

I love you. More than Kel loves you.

~Superdude

9/24/2004 12:47:30 AM

Dear Hurricane Jeanne

Please don't come to North Carolina......you will fuck everything up, including the nice streak of weather we've been finally enjoying. Also, if you do come, please make sure the university is closed on Wednesday so I will not have to take my exam or present my project

9/24/2004 1:11:35 AM

dear english book,
where are you, cause i need to read you before a quiz tomorrow

9/24/2004 1:12:59 AM

Dear Air Conditioner,
it's bloody cold in here. Good job!

9/24/2004 1:13:33 AM