4!!!!!!!!

TO BRASKY!

10/5/2004 5:05:15 PM

Jean Rodenbury got the idea for "Star Trek" after hearing Bill talking in his sleep

10/5/2004 5:39:10 PM

Oh God I love this story
AND ID LOVE TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE

10/5/2004 5:41:24 PM

haha

10/6/2004 9:59:59 AM

10/6/2004 10:21:16 AM

i don't like that man, but i respect him

10/6/2004 10:28:47 AM

Not many people know this, but Bill Brasky wrote Michael Jackson's entire Thiller album using only a harmonica and a dead racoon.

10/6/2004 10:44:32 AM

He did all the makeup on the 'Planet of the Apes' movie

10/6/2004 10:50:37 AM

He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health.

10/6/2004 10:57:18 AM

Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8 months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I prefer gin.

10/6/2004 10:59:02 AM

He sweats Gatorade

10/6/2004 11:00:34 AM

The Pope told him it was ok to have a mistress

10/6/2004 11:01:00 AM

i'm the father of every kid in my town

10/6/2004 11:10:07 AM

His favorite movie is 'One on One' with Robby Benson.

10/6/2004 11:10:47 AM

Bill Brasky was the high bidder on the Louisiana Purchase, but dropped out at the last minute; he spent the money on donkeys and cheap whiskey.

10/6/2004 11:24:29 AM

He grew a 3rd arm and kept it in a vault.

10/6/2004 11:25:04 AM

Brasky wrote "Catcher in the Rye" Not the one by J.D Salinger. Brasky's was a story about the time he trapped famed Cleveland Indians catcher Jim Hegan in a giant bottle of Rye!! And I'll be damned if it didn't end with Brasky drinking that bottle, catcher and all!!!

10/6/2004 11:31:10 AM

Brasky's pants were on fire for seven days before he even noticed, he thought the heat was just from his burning loins!

10/6/2004 11:37:14 AM

Bill Brasky convinced Charles Bronson to grow a mustache

10/6/2004 11:40:10 AM

Brasky spent two years underwater looking for Atlantis before someone told him he was in Charles Bronson's hot-tub, but I'll be damned if he didn't find it out of spite and then hide it again out of malice!

10/6/2004 11:41:03 AM

Bill Brasky has a nonsexual crush on Martin Sheen

10/6/2004 11:47:50 AM

When Bill Brasky was CEO of Nabisco he waged war on three continents against the Keebler Elves.

When he finally defeated them, he placed the survivors in his pants

Three of the Elves are still there, to this day

10/6/2004 11:55:03 AM

His child support bill is more than the national defence budget! And I'll be damned if he doesn't pay it every month

10/6/2004 12:00:04 PM

Bill Brasky is the only one who knows what the word Hoosier means, and he's taking it to the grave with him.

10/6/2004 12:11:56 PM

Brasky went fox hunting at 5 a.m. in July wearing only snow boots and a scarf. He ran straight through the state of Montana to catch this one fox, and I'll be damned if he didn't run smack into an Indian Reservation. They made Brasky chief and all the men begged Brasky to have sex with their wives. He never caught that fox.

10/6/2004 12:22:44 PM

I played Satan in Scrabble and won with the word "pancake".

10/6/2004 12:23:54 PM

Brasky was the inspiration for the film "Every Which Way But Loose" based largely on his private and taboo sexual encounters with Clint Eastwood.

10/6/2004 12:24:13 PM

my urine is made of selenium and kryptonite

10/6/2004 12:26:52 PM

I introduced a bill changing the national anthem to the theme from the A Team. When it looked like it would be challenged I just shook his fist and said "I pity the foo who don't vote for my bill!" It was unanimously passed!

[Edited on October 6, 2004 at 12:28 PM. Reason : oops!]

10/6/2004 12:27:22 PM

Brasky once made me wear a colander on my head for two years straight during high school, saying it would cure my greasy hair. I got bullied daily and all the male teachers came on to me, but I'll be damned if he wasn't right, all my hair fell out by graduation.

10/6/2004 12:30:57 PM

One day Brasky found out he had stomach cancer. Well not the kind to take this lying down, Brasky put his whole arm down his esophagus and punched the cancer into submission. He let it live but gave it the added humiliation of leaving through the back door!

[Edited on October 6, 2004 at 12:34 PM. Reason : dfgdfg]

10/6/2004 12:33:40 PM

It is rumored that Brasky orchestrated the collapse of the Beatles by dressing in drag as a Japanese woman.

10/6/2004 12:33:47 PM

I invented the platypus just so I could watch and laugh as all the other animals in the world shunned it.

10/6/2004 12:35:26 PM

Bill Brasky was the one who made Steve Guttenburgh a star.

10/6/2004 12:38:17 PM

Bill Brasky created the Incan civilization on a vacation when he got the runs from some bad tacos and the local water.

10/6/2004 12:40:07 PM

Bill Brasky keeps the metric system out of the U.S. because it reminds him of an Asian schoolboy.

10/6/2004 12:41:13 PM

Bill Brasky coined the term "WMD" in 1974 but it originally meant "Whiskey Making Device."

10/6/2004 12:42:53 PM

Whiskey in Brasky's hands IS a weapon of mass destruction. You guys remember when he and those two russian parapalegic whores won the superbowl?

10/6/2004 12:44:18 PM

Bill Brasky keeps the testicles of his childhood pet Sparky in his pocket. The rest of the animal was sold to Columbian slave traders for a fifth of tequila and a box of crackers.

[Edited on October 6, 2004 at 12:44 PM. Reason : fds]

10/6/2004 12:44:33 PM

Do you guys remember Brasky's bachelor party? Anyway, the party was thrown by Bob Guccione and was a month long. So Brasky shows up on the last day, covered in human blood. Then he says "What is this a funeral?! Lets get this party started" Long story short the party caused 4 national blackouts, irradiated half of New Mexico, killed Orson Welles, and only 12 out of 45,000 survived. Still its considered by all the greatest month of their lives.

10/6/2004 12:45:54 PM

Bill Brasky peed on me and I loved it.

10/6/2004 12:48:27 PM

Bill Brasky had sex with his own mother, no wait, it was my mother

10/6/2004 12:49:18 PM

Brasky was the original Blair Witch

10/6/2004 12:49:51 PM

Bill Brasky created the character "Max Headroom" in the 80's when he sneezed on a Commodore 64.

10/6/2004 12:50:00 PM

i'm a convicted sex offender.

10/6/2004 12:51:33 PM

Bill Brasky invented his own Cheerios by mixing equal parts benadryl, cesium, homemade bauxite, and wheaties - and damn if they aren't the tastiest cold cereal ever

10/6/2004 12:52:19 PM

Brasky adopted a Mexican boy. He dresses him up in a little uniform and makes him stand perfectly still out in the front yard as a lawn jockey

10/6/2004 12:53:04 PM

Bill Brasky invented honey-mustard 40 some-odd years ago
But it took an act of Congress to get the recipe from him.

10/6/2004 12:54:33 PM

Bill Brasky managed to get his Lawn Gnome elected to the U.S. Senate for 24 consecutive years.

10/6/2004 12:55:23 PM

I VOTED FOR IT TWICE

best representation i've ever had, that gnome

10/6/2004 12:56:18 PM