Quote :

" MIAMI (WSVN) -- A known burglar lost his life, as he tried to escape through a ventilation fan while trying to escape after he robbed a store. http://www1.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/MI49845/"

6/1/2007 10:21:58 AM

Quote :

""Police say an 18-year-old man suffered serious burns while spray painting graffiti inside an electrical substation in northwest Santa Fe. The Associated Press reports that the man has been identified as 18-year-old Aaron Vigil and that he is in critical condition at a Phoenix burn center. The man called 911 from his cell phone after 50 to 70 percent of his body was burned. Assistant Fire Chief Ted Bolleter says he was burned both from the electrical shock and from his clothes catching fire.""

and his cell phone SURVIVED this? Impressive.

6/1/2007 1:18:33 PM

Quote :

"A German "spit for distance" aficionado's attempt to go that extra foot has ended in tragedy. Trying too hard to gain extra momentum, he fell off an apartment balcony, sustaining life-threatening injuries."

http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,486078,00.html

6/1/2007 9:13:32 PM

Quote :

"A sophomoric prank put a 15-year-old Valhalla boy in a legal pickle after he was arrested for allegedly urinating into a ketchup dispenser in the Valhalla Middle/High School cafeteria. Mount Pleasant Police Chief Louis Alagno said the 10th-grader was arrested Thursday as a juvenile delinquent. He faces a misdemeanor charge of second-degree tampering with a consumer product, after being questioned by Detective Martin Greenberg, the department's youth officer. The teen, whose name is being withheld by The Journal News because of his age, was released without bail to his parents and the case was referred to Family Court. Interviewed at his home yesterday, the boy was full of remorse. "I'm extremely sorry for what happened,'' said the boy. "I don't know what came over me. I guess I was just trying to impress my friends. I feel very embarrassed and ashamed. It was the dumbest thing I ever did.''"

http://www.thejournalnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070602/NEWS02/706020330/1023/NEWS07

[Edited on June 3, 2007 at 1:49 PM. Reason : ICK!]

6/3/2007 1:49:15 PM

Quote :

"An overworked policeman stabbed himself in the stomach so he could get time off, investigators in Japan have said. The truth came out after detectives launched an attempted murder investigation but could not find any suspects matching the alleged victim's description."

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30200-1268897,00.html

6/4/2007 3:26:44 PM

Quote :

"A known burglar lost his life, as he tried to escape through a ventilation fan while trying to escape after he robbed a store. "

Crikey. That's some great grammar!

6/4/2007 3:36:57 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sK3AqFYAWQ


OWNED

6/4/2007 7:54:46 PM

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,278775,00.html

Quote :

"DURHAM, N.C. — A teenager drowned after jumping into a lake to get a cell phone he dropped during a fishing trip. The teen, Eddie Allen, 16, of Durham, was fishing Wednesday in Falls Lake with Garrick McCollum, 24. McCollum jumped in after Allen and started struggling. Another fisherman helped McCollum, but couldn't help Allen. Witnesses said Allen tried to climb a concrete embankment at the fishing area but couldn't get out because it was slick with algae. Wake County Sheriff Donnie Harrison said he believes the drowning was accidental. Also Wednesday, a 41-year-old man drowned in Sheboygan, Wis., after getting stuck in a storm sewer trying to retrieve a cell phone, police said. The man weighed more that 300 pounds and was wedged with his head and shoulders underwater in a vertical storm drain in front of his home, said police Lt. Tim Eirich. Neighbor Chris Van Erem said he saw the man kneeling over the sewer before he fell in. Police said the man pulled the iron gate off trying to get the cell phone. Then, a child from the neighborhood ran toward Van Erem frantically. Van Erem said he then saw the man's feet sticking up out of the grate. "I ran over and tried to pull him on out," Van Erem said. "Absolutely helpless was the feeling. I couldn't budge him." Van Erem had the child call 911 as he continued to try to free the man. "I could see his head and his shoulders were completely under the water," he said. "His legs weren't moving. He was completely unresponsive." Van Erem said it ultimately took six firefighters to pull the man from the sewer. Sheboygan County Coroner David Leffin ruled the man's death as an accidental drowning. The man's cell phone was later found at the bottom of the sewer, police said."

6/7/2007 2:42:17 PM

Quote :

"An apparently intoxicated 52-year-old male resident, saying he "always wanted to jump," took a leap off the Joshua Chamberlain Bridge on Thursday evening, according to Bangor police Sgt. Jim Owens. The man, whose name was not released, was pulled from the water and treated for minor injuries. "He jumped from the bridge, and he did it on purpose," Owens said. "He said he always wanted to jump. He didn’t want to hurt himself." Eyewitnesses to the incident, which occurred around 10:15 p.m., said the man was on the ledge of the bridge for about 10 minutes before the plunge, which Bangor fire officials confirmed Friday. "The guy jumped in to get cooled off," Assistant Fire Chief Vance Tripp said. "He ended up staving up his face a little bit and doing some bodily injury, but he’s OK. It was just a little bit higher than what he thought it was. "I guess he did a nice belly flop," he said. Low tide was at 10:52 p.m. Thursday. Fire crews were the first to arrive on the scene. "From what I understand, they threw him the rope three times … on the third try he grabbed it," Tripp said. The man, a First Street resident, came out of the water shirtless and with blood running from his face, according to the witnesses. He was able to walk to the rescue vehicle and was taken to Eastern Maine Medical Center for evaluation, police said."

http://www.bangordailynews.com/news/t/news.aspx?articleid=150796&zoneid=500

6/11/2007 8:57:29 AM

this is like a Darwin Awards thread

6/11/2007 8:59:09 AM

Quote :

"Gulfport, Florida - A 14-year-old Pinellas boy found out it's a bad idea to make a random phone call to try and sell drugs and it's even worse if the person at the other end of the line is a cop. Gulfport Police say that's what happened Sunday night when 14-year-old Shaquille McKinney dialed a wrong number, calling the home of Gulfport Police detective Matt Parks. Parks told McKinney he had the wrong number, but before he hung up, investigators say McKinney asked the officer if he wanted to buy some drugs."

http://www.tampabays10.com/news/local/article.aspx?storyid=56634

6/12/2007 1:16:01 PM

Quote :

"Ranger: Bay Area teen seriously injured faking fall for a MySpace.com photo A 17-year-old Livermore boy was seriously injured Monday night in Mt. Diablo State Park when he tried to fake a fall for a camera and then actually fell 75 feet onto rocks, a park ranger said Tuesday. The teenager was on Sentinel Rock, a vertical formation near Rock City popular for its views, when he moved outside the handrail, lost his footing and fell into a crevice and became wedged between rocks, San Ramon Valley Fire District Battalion Chief Mike Brown said. Friends of the boy, who is hospitalized with multiple traumatic injuries, told rescuers he had been trying to stage a photo of a fake fall for a MySpace Web site when he slipped and fell for real, said Dan Stefanisko, supervising ranger at Mt. Diablo State Park."

http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_6123439?source=rss

[Edited on June 13, 2007 at 9:48 AM. Reason : title]

6/13/2007 9:47:37 AM

Quote :

"LAKELAND -- An 18-year-old woman was killed Wednesday when she pulled her sport utility vehicle around a railroad crossing gate and was hit by an Amtrak passenger train, the Florida Highway Patrol said. None of the 150 passengers and 10 crew members was injured in the 2:10 p.m. collision, FHP spokesman Larry Coggins said. The train had most recently stopped in Jacksonville on a run from New York to Tampa. Coggins said the Lakeland woman, whose name was being withheld until her family could be located, drove her Jeep Cherokee around a lowered crossing gate arm and was hit by the westbound train. She died on the scene. The train, which stopped about 300 yards beyond the crash site, resumed its journey to Tampa shortly before 4 p.m., Coggins said."

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/southwest/orl-bk-train061307,0,2895298.story

6/14/2007 12:35:43 PM

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6752515.stm

Quote :

"'Cologne cocktails' killing men Russian men are risking death by drinking aftershave and cleaning agents, a study has suggested. UK researchers estimated that half of all deaths in working age men in the country are due to hazardous drinking. The products, which also include herbal tinctures sold in pharmacies, are widely available, cheap and contain up to 97% alcohol, the Lancet study says. It was found that they contain very few toxins but are deadly simply because of the extreme alcohol levels. Russian men have an "exceptionally low" life expectancy of 59 years, compared with 72 years for women. Men of working age are three-and-a-half times more likely to die than men in Britain. "

6/14/2007 9:15:23 PM

Quote :

"SELDEN, N.Y. -- A 38-year-old Long Island man is under arrest after he accidentally set fire to four cars at an automotive shop while trying to steal gasoline from one of them. Suffolk County Police said that the Selden man was using a cordless power drill to bore into the bottom of the gas tank of a car parked at Sunrise Automotive in Islip when the fuel ignited. The man was able to get from under the car unscathed, but the gasoline continued seeping out, spreading flames. Police said three cars were destroyed and a fourth damaged. Police have charged the man with criminal mischief, petty larceny and possession of burglar's tools."

http://www.wnbc.com/news/13519316/detail.html

[Edited on June 18, 2007 at 11:05 AM. Reason : fix]

6/18/2007 11:05:02 AM

http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/13581147/detail.html

Quote :

"A 70-year-old golfer is dead after being struck by lightning at the Rogell Golf Course in Detroit Wednesday afternoon. "

Also ... a Texas gun trifecta!

http://www.courier-gazette.com/articles/2007/06/26/mckinney_courier-gazette/news/fnews03.txt

Quote :

"According to Collin County briefing reports, a 46-year-old man from Blue Ridge accidentally shot himself on Friday and a 21-year-old man from Lucas and a 20-year-old woman from Lavon both accidentally shot themselves on Sunday. The first accident call came into the Collin County Dispatch Center at approximately 10:17 a.m. Friday. Lt. John Norton of the Collin County Sheriff’s Office said the 46-year-old man identified as Mark Sirkel of Blue Ridge was loading a .22-caliber rifle in his living room at his home in the 9500 block of County Road 501 when the weapon discharged and a bullet struck him in the left knee. He called 9-1-1 and an ambulance transported him to Medical Center of McKinney for treatment. The second accidental shooting, in Lucas, occurred sometime before 12:20 a.m. Sunday. Norton said a 21-year-old man identified as Denny Davidson of Lucas showed up at the MCM emergency room with a gunshot wound to his left hand and thigh. Davidson told officers he was sitting on his couch at his home located in the 1800 block of Country Club Road cleaning his .22-caliber Beretta handgun. He was putting the gun back together when the gun discharged and the bullet went through his left index finger and struck him in the thigh. He drove himself to MCM for treatment. The third accident occurred less than four hours later in Lavon. The Collin County Dispatch office received a call at approximately 3:40 a.m. from a mother who said her 20-year-old daughter, identified as Jennifer Rose of Lavon, accidentally shot herself at their home in the 500 block of Lincoln Avenue. Norton said Rose put a magazine into a .22-caliber pistol when it discharged and the bullet struck her in the leg. It is not known which leg was injured in the accident."

[Edited on June 28, 2007 at 11:05 AM. Reason : fixed]

6/28/2007 11:05:13 AM

Be safe tonight and please don't end up in this thread ... like this woman:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/04/fireworks.death.ap/

Quote :

"A powerful firework exploded in the face of a woman trying to set it off, killing her as her fiance and 8-year-old son watched, police said. Danialle Barse, 27, was unfamiliar with the commercial-grade aerial firework she was using Monday night, said Mike Welch, a police detective in this Detroit suburb. "She basically killed herself in front her children and her fiance," Welch said. Barse and another woman were trying to set off a 3-inch mortar bomb in the parking lot of the car wash where Barse worked when it went off as she had her head over it, Welch said. "

Notes:

1. Setting off commercial grade fireworks if you are not familiar with them is a bad idea.
2. Putting your face over a mortar tube is an equally bad idea.

[Edited on July 4, 2007 at 2:00 PM. Reason : b]

7/4/2007 1:59:53 PM

can i post your obituary in here when you die of aids from being a fag?

just wondering

7/4/2007 11:55:35 PM

zing!

7/5/2007 12:56:52 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfySGyBJxok

embed

no rickroll

7/5/2007 10:51:51 PM

^^^^ Wow they have an 8 year old kid and still ain't married?!

7/6/2007 2:18:12 AM

could have been with ex-husband, another bf, etc

7/6/2007 4:30:09 AM

Quote :

"A middle-aged man drowned and another was seriously injured when they jumped into the sea off a pier in Essex, in a stunt known as "tombstoning". The two men - both believed to be in their 40s - were found face-down in the sea by lifeboat crews after jumping off a pier at Clacton, Essex, on Saturday. Emergency services were alerted at about 1830 BST when five men, fully clothed, reportedly leapt in. ... 'Not getting message' The pair were flown to hospital. One died and the other is now in intensive care. Tombstoning - the practice of jumping off cliffs, piers, harbour walls or other high points into the sea - has claimed a number of lives across the UK in recent years."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/essex/6281396.stm

7/8/2007 10:25:27 PM

Quote :

" Bumbling petrol thieves used their cigarette lighter to see what they were doing - and you can guess what happened next. ... The Eltham Fire Brigade arrived at 2.50am yesterday and took just 10 minutes to douse the blaze. Among the remains were a discarded can, a lighter and two siphon hoses. "They must have been trying to siphon petrol, couldn't see, flicked on the lighter too close to the filler cap and it went up," Mr White said."

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/4124374a4560.html

7/12/2007 9:11:26 AM

Quote :

"BAYOU BLACK, La. --Stolen gunpowder went up with a bang when a teenager flicked cigarette ash near the open bottle, according to the Terrebonne Parish Sheriff's Office."

http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2007/07/11/teens_cigarette_sets_off_stolen_powder/

More (funny) details in article ....

7/13/2007 9:57:25 AM

Quote :

"Detectives say six armed robberies overnight is normal for a weekday evening, but what's not normal, or even safe, is the victims catching the bad guys on their own. The suspects hit businesses and people on the streets, some of them in the southwest part of the Las Vegas Valley where police have seen a rash of armed robberies in the recent months. But one of the suspects had the tables turned on him by a tourist. A black eye was not the kind of souvenir Air National Guardsman Evan Skinner planned to take back to Oklahoma. Evan Skinner explained, "When he pulled the gun out he just had it right to my forehead and said, 'Hey give us all over your cash.' And I was like we don't have very much. And he just went like that quick and clocked me. And I was like okay, that's fine." But it wasn't fine for one of Evan's friends who didn't want the suspect to get away with it. The suspect started to leave with a mere $30, that's when Evan's friend tackled the 21-year-old suspect. Skinner continued, "Frank had his right arm under control. James is laying on top of him. He had his forearms on the guy's throat and I'm laying on his left arm and just punching him." The suspect continued to fire his gun. James Wolff said, "Above all I think we got really lucky. Police told us the gun jammed after the second shot." In this case, it was suspect Anthony Westby's luck that ran out. "He was bleeding out of his nose, his eyes, his mouth. They had to put him on a stretcher in a neck brace," Skinner described."

http://www.klas-tv.com/Global/story.asp?S=6782289&nav=menu102_2

HELL YEAH!!

btw ... the link has (bloody) pics of the robber.

7/15/2007 1:18:45 PM

haha pwnt

[Edited on July 15, 2007 at 11:48 PM. Reason : .]

7/15/2007 11:47:32 PM

they'll probably say they used excessive force to subdue the suspect, and he was a victim

you watch, he'll either get a lighter sentence, or will get some money because they beat him more than was needed

7/15/2007 11:54:38 PM

joakim noah should be ashamed of trying to rob a store, what with his nba career just starting

7/16/2007 6:42:52 AM

http://www.koat.com/news/13729397/detail.html

Girl sets herself on fire while playing with a lighter at a gas station ...

7/23/2007 10:52:07 AM

Quote :

"they shoulda never let women out of the kitchen"

7/23/2007 10:57:43 AM

Quote :

"GALVESTON — Bryan Connelly, convicted of forgery charges, is accused of making an unusual choice in seeking a hit man to kill the prosecutor: the judge who sentenced him. Galveston County District Court Judge David Garner said Connelly, 34, of Santa Fe, was among those defendants who "think outside the box" for allegedly writing a letter offering him $5,000 to kill former prosecutor Donnie Quintanilla, now in private practice in Galveston. Connelly wrote a second letter to his defense attorney, Houston lawyer Jonathan Cox, offering him $5,000 to kill Garner, special prison prosecutor Alice Gregg said. "I want Judge David Garner dead and I want you to kill him for me," the letter to Cox read, according to Gregg. "If you decide not to kill Mr. Garner for me, I will kill him myself after I kill you.""

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/nb/bay/news/5042589.html

8/11/2007 11:16:18 AM

Quote :

"Robbery is a serious problem for retail stores across our region. But the employees of Shamrock Liquors in Ashland, Kentucky, can't stop laughing about what happened last Friday at the store along 13th street. Police say Kasey Kazee walked in to the store with duct tape wrapped around his head to conceal his face. Fortunately, store manager Bill Steele had some duct tape of his own. Steel had a wooden club wrapped with duct tape that eventually sent the suspect fleeing the store. Store employee Craig Miller says he chased Kazee to the parking lot, tackled him and held him in a choke positiion until police arrived. An unidentified customer also helped. Kazee said in a jailhouse interview today police got the wrong man and Kazee says he has no memory of going in to the liquor store. He also says he has no memory of police removing the duct tape. We asked Kazee how he could deny being the duct tape bandit even though police have photos showing Kazee with the duct tape on and then a photo where Kazee's face is revealed. Kazee looked straight at the camera and said, "Do I look like the duct tape bandit to you?" "

http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/9129056.html

The link has photos AND video ... definitely a "must see"

8/14/2007 9:26:18 AM

Quote :

"A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival. The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it. "There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage," zoo director Vuk Bojovic said. Local media reported that police found several mobile phones inside the cage, as well as bricks, stones and beer cans. "

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22277402-5001028,00.html

Quote :

"A 24-year-old Magna man is hospitalized after shooting himself in the groin while fleeing from Sandy police officers. Police attempted to pull over the man's vehicle about 3 a.m. Saturday when he fled from officers at a Maverik convenience store at 450 W. 90 South, said Sgt. Victor Quezada. After ditching his vehicle, which was reported stolen, the man shot himself in the groin after jumping a fence, Quezada said. In addition to the stolen car, police allegedly recovered methamphetamine, burglary tools and stolen checks. "

http://www.sltrib.com//ci_6661545

8/20/2007 4:10:47 PM

Haha, that Duct Tape Bandit has a great video.

8/21/2007 10:59:14 AM

doesn't quite fit - but interesting article

http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/08/20/father.100.reut/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

8/21/2007 10:59:55 AM

Quote :

"An explosion last night killed a man in northwest Iowa. It happened outside of 915 Hayes Street in Hull, Iowa. 21-year-old Ryan Meerdink of Hull was taken to the Sioux Center Hospital where he died. Investigators say a potato lauching device was filled with an explosive powder and blew up when it was ingnited. They say the explosion was an accident. "

http://www.keloland.com/NewsDetail6162.cfm?Id=0,60509

9/2/2007 12:22:32 PM

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004092008,00.html

9/2/2007 6:13:19 PM

^6

Quote :

"Miller says Kazee also had a t-shirt pulled up around his head during the robbery attempt. Miller says it reminded him of the "Cornholio" character from the "Beavis and Butthead" cartoon."

I LOL'd

9/3/2007 2:01:39 AM

sweet shit, im going to dance on you motherfuckers' graves when you kick it because you totally deserve it

9/3/2007 5:40:06 AM

Quote :

"But Leonard Adkins was already dead, electrocuted Monday while trying to steal electricity by using jumper cables to tap into a utility line and direct power to his soon-to-be rental home. The unemployed couple had planned to move in a rush Labor Day weekend after being evicted from their home on Cecil Street in Detroit because they couldn't pay the rent"

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007709050329

9/5/2007 5:48:27 PM

Quote :

"A MAN who lived in his own “zoo” of lizards and insects was fatally bitten by a pet black widow spider — then eaten by the other creepy-crawlies. Police broke in to Mark Voegel’s apartment to find spider Bettina along with 200 others, several snakes, a gecko lizard called Helmut and several thousand termites had gorged on his body. Neighbours alerted police after becoming alarmed by the stink. "

black widows do not ever make good pets.

9/5/2007 10:15:29 PM

how have i never noticed this thread?

good stuff

9/5/2007 10:16:38 PM

Quote :

" PITTSBURGH - A 17-year-old boy accidentally shot himself in the leg while standing in line at a McDonald's restaurant and now he faces an illegal weapons charge. The boy was fiddling with the .25-caliber pistol tucked in his waistband when it fired, wounding him in the upper thigh shortly before 9 p.m. Wednesday, city police Sgt. William Gorman said."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070913/ap_on_fe_st/odd_unhappy_meal;_ylt=AllbD7ahtws5oRAOf1Rct5HtiBIF

9/14/2007 9:38:58 AM

http://www.local10.com/news/14138122/detail.html?rss=mia&psp=news

9/18/2007 4:18:58 PM

Man Nearly Dies After Putting Pet Rattlesnake Down Throat

http://www.local6.com/problemsolvers/14139408/detail.html

9/19/2007 1:53:16 PM

Quote :

"how have i never noticed this thread? good stuff"

9/19/2007 2:19:59 PM

^^

Quote :

"Man Bitten After Putting Snake in Mouth Posted: Sep. 19 4:38 p.m. PORTLAND, Ore. — Snake collector Matt Wilkinson of Portland grabbed a 20-inch rattler from the highway near Maupin, and three weeks later, to impress his ex-girlfriend, he stuck the serpent in his mouth. He was soon near death with a swollen tongue that blocked his throat. Trauma doctors at the Oregon Health and Science University saved his life. "You can assume alcohol was involved," he said. Actually, not just beer. It was something he called a "mixture of stupid stuff." Calls from cable network television stations poured in Tuesday, when he still had sore muscles and nerves from the venom. It happened at a barbecue with friends. Wilkinson, 23, had downed a six-pack and his ex-girlfriend asked him for a beer. He handed her one, not realizing the snake was also in his hand. "She said, 'Get that thing out of my face,'" Wilkinson said. "I told her it was a nice snake. 'Nothing can happen. Watch.'" So he stuck the snake in his mouth. "It got a hold of my tongue," he said. He was having breathing problems when his ex-girlfriend drove him to the hospital. "She was the only one sober," Wilkinson said. En route, they spotted a police car and asked for help. His next memory, he said, was waking up at the hospital. Doctors could not get a breathing tube down his throat. Dr. Richard Mullins cut a hole in Wilkinson's neck to insert the breathing tube. Physicians started giving antivenin, moved him to intensive care and kept him sedated until the swelling went down. The Poison Control Center sees about 50 people a year with snake bites, usually hikers. Deaths from rattlesnake bites in Oregon are extremely rare. Wilkinson, who works in construction, has yet to return to work. His three Western diamondback rattlers have been removed from his home. He says co-workers have been pretty blunt. "They were like, 'What the heck were you thinking?'" Wilkinson said. The answer? "It's my own stupidity.""

http://www.wral.com/news/strange/story/1836832/

9/20/2007 3:12:30 PM

OJ is finally going to prison

9/22/2007 6:55:13 AM

5

9/22/2007 10:12:19 PM