all true and wise words spoken since my last post. I shall heed to your advice.


still wanna motorboat some boobies though.

page 4.

[Edited on November 15, 2010 at 3:31 PM. Reason : DD]

11/15/2010 3:31:21 PM

^^I've gone down that road, and it worked for like a week or two, and then the whole thing detonated in my hands out of nowhere.

No matter how good the bwn, not worth it.

11/15/2010 3:50:20 PM

After work today I hit the gym for my workout plan that I've started, and I have to say, even though I'm sore as fuck, I'm feeling AWESOME!

Definitely a lot better than yesterday and the preceding days.

So I think I'm gonna go ahead and sell the engagement ring tomorrow am.

Tomorrow early am is my run, gonna do an easy 3 miles, just kinda jog it out in the early morn.

11/15/2010 9:03:07 PM

^^ agreed.

they always try to rekindle feelings and start spending the night too damn much. find a new booty call.

11/15/2010 9:05:09 PM

yeah don't need anymore drama.

11/15/2010 9:11:19 PM

yep, so I sold the engagement ring today.

11/16/2010 6:58:39 PM

did you make a profit?

11/16/2010 6:59:16 PM

How did you sell it? pawn shop? I've been half assedly looking to sell mine for well over a year now.

11/16/2010 7:04:39 PM

I didn't really want to spend a lot of time going all over the place to get rid of it, I just wanted it gone. I took it back to where I bought it, and got a refund of a little over 60% of the purchase price, which is still a pretty good slice of cash.

11/16/2010 7:15:43 PM

checkin in:

Things are getting better. The dog seems to be doing better too. I'm transitioning the townhouse from "our place" to "my place".

I'm working out everyday (run in the am, lift in the pm) and that's making me feel awesome.

just doin that "movin on" thing, you know.

11/19/2010 9:30:25 AM

Quote :

"Wow, same thing! I dropped like 13lbs within 2 months of being married (I'm about 115 now, so you can imagine how gross I looked.) I coudln't eat, always felt sick to my stomach, sleeping issues. This went on for about 4 months. A week after we split and decided it was over, my stomach cleared up. I haven't had issues since!"

Pretty amazing how our brains can make us feel sick when stressed/upset. I've heard of it happening to a few people since I experienced it.

11/19/2010 9:45:54 AM

update:

She came by the place in Apr, very emotional and was definitely obvious that she was having more of a hard time with it than I was.


Saw her today, again, obvious that I'm dealing with it better than her; but she just looks better. She looks like she did when we first started going out. (as an fyi, she was sick for the last 10 months that we were together, and the health issues caused more stress for her).
Pretty much told me today that walking out was a mistake, and just kinda left that hanging there.



So now I'm @ home, drinking a little bit, for some reason I have Nicki Minaj - Super Bass song stuck in my head. (I like the boom badoom boom part lol no homo).

its just got me thinking, though I should note that I have been chilling with this other girl now for about 2 months, and we've been bangin it out, and I have no idea what it is, but the sex with this girl is just fucking insane and I"m not giving that up for a while. But maybe me and the ex were both wrong - her for walking out, and me for not stopping it (or not even trying).

[Edited on July 1, 2011 at 11:26 PM. Reason : info]

7/1/2011 11:24:20 PM

I, too, am drinking a cold beer over a recently traumatic event.

Cheers!

7/1/2011 11:28:20 PM

Re-reading this thread, and remembering how I felt when she left, honestly its got me a little teary eyed, but then again, I never really mourned the end of the relationship.

I started working out like a fiend, in the am, lunch, and pm. I've filled my days with gym/work/gym/work/gym/chillin with friends.


The thing is, I know that she knows she made a mistake, and her health issues are fixed (they were also causing hormonal shit that fucked with her sanity) but that doesn't make me want to put in the work to get it started again. There has been times that I've missed her, and I really think we had a chance, but we just didn't handle the problems effectively.

I wasn't open about my previous (years ago) financial problems (I had to learn living on a budget & credit the hard way); about how actually angry and resentful I was that my mother abandoned me when I was 11 and the effects it had on me to trust women (I wasn't even honest to myself about that, also, my stepmom was borderline abusive); she was upset that there military stuff (war things) that I wouldn't talk about; and that I didn't like to admit my faults and mistakes when I made them.

Those are all things that I've worked out now, and I'm even cool with my mom now.

As a frame of reference, her family is very close, they talk about everything all the time, there literally are no secrets in that family; whereas mine - well if I don't talk to my family for 3+ months its no big deal to them. Those 2 extremes of what is normal for each other was also a source of conflict.

7/1/2011 11:51:02 PM

It takes a lot of "balls" (if you will) for a girl to physically stop by and see you. Especially after a break up. Now you see her again and shes dropping bombs, could be some underlying issues or she just straight up misses how things were.

I've gotten back with a few old ones, after a few weeks, it was right back to the same ol shit. Could be the case with her, but hell it's worth a try.

[Edited on July 2, 2011 at 2:11 AM. Reason : v]

7/2/2011 2:10:38 AM

ugh. imo that kinda sucks. after this long, something like that just opens old wounds. stay strong, brother.

7/2/2011 2:33:22 AM

So...uh...can we get a move to Chit Chat or what?!?!?

[Edited on July 2, 2011 at 3:18 AM. Reason : ]

7/2/2011 3:05:31 AM

my own experience (and likely the experience of many people) is that getting back together with an ex is a bad idea...she's an ex for a reason, right?

that said, time can bring maturity and if maturity was a big part of the problem, then you've got that

i don't remember much about your thread, and i'm not going to go back and read it, but if trust was ever an issue, don't go back...i'm sure someone, somewhere, is able to just start over with a clean slate and pretend that the trust issues never happened, but i've yet to meet one who can really do it in the long run

7/2/2011 8:03:42 AM

i would agree getting back together with a ex is a bad idea.

comments above are correct, they are an ex for a reason.

7/2/2011 8:21:39 AM

yeah, I'm not going back (or taking her back), I was just a little bit drunk and way too reminiscent last night.

7/2/2011 9:42:28 AM

Well sounds like you are a better person after all that went down. We will just consider her your "practice run"

7/2/2011 10:02:54 AM

^LOL thanks bmel.

7/2/2011 10:42:21 AM

practice run, bullet dodged

7/2/2011 10:51:31 AM

^

7/2/2011 10:55:00 AM

Quote :

"We will just consider her your "practice run""

7/2/2011 11:56:43 AM

wow, I was reading through your thread... this is the first meaningful/useful thread I've found on TWW in a while

sorry about your situation, but it seems that you've worked it out well.

I wouldn't get back with an ex either. I could never justify the "maybe it will be different this time" idea. While people can make small changes, they're still mostly the same. I don't see how she could have broke up with you because you didn't share your full past. I am a bit of a recluse and I am not as close as most of my gf's have been with their families, but that's not a reason to break up.

none of my ex's ever want to remain friends when we break up. Does it have anything to do with the fact that I've initiated all the break ups? I'd be curious to see someone weigh in on this.

7/2/2011 12:57:20 PM

Quote :

"wow, I was reading through your thread... this is the first meaningful/useful thread I've found on TWW in a while"

Quote :

"Registered : 10/23/2002 (3173.8 days ago)"

I also don't buy that the problems were simply due to you not opening up your past. I'd imagine there's some things that are incredibly hard to open up no matter how well you know or love the person (looking at your war and mom stuff), and if she couldn't accept to let you deal with those privately and to accept who you are now, then something else was up.

7/2/2011 1:10:39 PM

oh it wasn't solely due to that, there were other things that were causing conflict, but she listed that as the #1 reason.

and I typically don't speak to my ex girlfriends.

7/2/2011 2:14:38 PM

so she called me up the other day, well actually called, emailed, texted, called my office phone (essentially sent out a broadcast message).

Well she finally caught me off guard and I answered my office phone. She says I'm "the only person I can trust" (wtf) and that she wants me to hack her parent's computer because her mom thinks her dad is addicted to porn.

so I wrote her an email, so that it would be in writing saying that I'm not getting involved in any way shape or form.

and I also wrote her this

Quote :

"I agree and understand that you need someone to talk to about these issues, but that someone is not me anymore. I understand that you need someone to be there for you emotionally, but that someone stopped being me the moment you put the ring in my hand and walked out the door. "

because this isn't the first time she's had some sort of crisis or issue, and each time she's called me up. Well I think its fucking ridiculous for her to expect that 9 months after her walking out on me that she would think I would be there 'emotionally' for her.

And then she asks for my discretion in not telling the world about this issue, when after the split she exercised none at all, telling the real estate agent, and pretty much anyone else I had dealings with all my business that they didn't need to know.


Fuck all that noise, this bitch is crazy, she still thinks that things can get worked out. But I think that what I wrote her will fix that.

7/29/2011 10:15:14 AM

Quote :

"She says I'm "the only person I can trust" (wtf) and that she wants me to hack her parent's computer because her mom thinks her dad is addicted to porn. "

seems like a weak crisis.

7/29/2011 10:30:50 AM

^^

awesome.

you handled that perfectly.

7/29/2011 10:38:13 AM

Thank you sir, I rather enjoyed sending that to her.

7/29/2011 11:30:08 AM

I was going to say, maybe give her another chance b/c as a woman I know hormones can be a fucking bitch and a half and she probably wasn't in her right head the last months yall were together.

But she's wanting you to come rescue her, and wanting you to get involved in family drama ( OH NO'S! Daddy's looking at porn!! ), that sounds pretty evil and manipulative. Good for you for staying out of it.

7/29/2011 11:44:23 AM

I'll agree that her head wasn't right in those last few months, and I tried like hell to keep things together. I told her though, you put the ring in my hand and walk out, there's no going back, ever. And she still left.

Now she needs to face that fact and cop to the fact that she lost the best thing that ever happened to her, and she needs to move the fuck on.

7/29/2011 12:01:36 PM

Question which i hope you give an honest answer: Do you still love her/ have feelings for her.

If no, then you need to cut her out completely from your life, change your phone number or block her and all forms of communication and move on with your life.

If you do...not saying to disregard what she did to you...but give it another chance at a very slow pace.

I mean it seems she knows she fucked up but she wants you to ask her back b/c she still cares/ has feelings to you.

she wouldn't just ask you for help all these times if she didn't. She's reaching out even for that possibility that you'd forgive her and ask her back.

7/29/2011 12:26:13 PM

^ completely disagree.

he spoke his peace in the last email and that should be that.

7/29/2011 12:27:36 PM

Well it needs to be black and white and not the grey bullshit. either man up and take her out of your life 100% or man up and do the other.

Either way Grey isn't healthy for him or for his ex. and even though she did a very very shitty thing she is still human after all and you have to be a cold heartless bitch for not eventually forgiving her.



[Edited on July 29, 2011 at 12:43 PM. Reason : obviously its apprent that she is still in his life in a bad way]

7/29/2011 12:42:24 PM

no, forgiving people for fatal mistakes is a fatal mistake.

She made the fatal decision of ending the relationship, he must never forget that.

If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.

7/29/2011 12:45:17 PM

you are also assuming that forgiving and forgetting are one in the same and they are not.

I never said he should forget.

7/29/2011 12:46:58 PM

Consistency builds reliability. If he forgives her for something this major, she knows in her head she can do something even worse and get forgiven for it.

7/29/2011 12:50:15 PM

so he can't forgive her and break ties with her.....hmmmm....

7/29/2011 12:56:43 PM

i'm not forgiving and not forgetting. I've moved on, I'm seeing a few different girls right now, and her added drama isn't something that I want anymore. Which is why I said my peace to her.

If she does try to contact me again, phone #'s will be changed, emails will be blocked, she'll be met with a wall of silence.

7/29/2011 1:04:55 PM

Quote :

"Well it needs to be black and white and not the grey bullshit. either man up and take her out of your life 100% or man up and do the other. Either way Grey isn't healthy for him or for his ex. and even though she did a very very shitty thing she is still human after all and you have to be a cold heartless bitch for not eventually forgiving her."

LOL WUT?

he has taken her out of his life. he said that she was blowing up his phone, email, etc and finally he answered her after she kept trying to contact him. and when she asked him to do her this "favor" (which was a ridiculous plea) he put it in writing that he wanted nothing to do with her little scheme and that she needed to stop trying to contact him.

from what raiden has said, he hasn't reached out to her. she has reached out to him a few times but he has never once given her the idea he wanted to get back together.

Quote :

"I was going to say, maybe give her another chance b/c as a woman I know hormones can be a fucking bitch and a half and she probably wasn't in her right head the last months yall were together. "

LOL sorry i'm a woman too and if i pulled that shit on my fiancee, i would NOT expect him to take me back. hell if i felt strongly enough to walk away from the relationship, then i knew it was something i was grappling for a bit.

and FYI, women need to stop blaming "hormones." i'm a woman, i have hormones and i do a pretty good job of keeping them in check. do i get emotional? sure but i also recognize i'm a bit over sensitive when it comes to things.

[Edited on July 29, 2011 at 1:08 PM. Reason : lol ]

7/29/2011 1:06:09 PM

Quote :

"then you need to cut her out completely from your life, change your phone number or block her and all forms of communication and move on with your life. "

if you read. the only thing he can't do is prevent her from driving to his house. which then i guess you call the cops.

7/29/2011 1:09:52 PM

I can see what GoldenGirl means.
I, for one, hate never seeing or talking to my ex bf's ever again. They were a part of my life for a reason, and I still care about (almost) all of them. NO, I wouldn't date any of them ever again, and there are a couple that I still actively despise and DON'T talk to.
So on one hand, raiden could be like one ex of mine that once he's done w/ a girl, he's done for good--all emotions are dead and gone and she's pretty much a stranger. If so, then yeah, cut ties.

If raiden still cares for her well being but doesn't want to ever be in a relationship with her, then I would say maintain very very casual communications. She hasn't moved on, so don't really give her much right now, but later on when she's started dating other people, then maybe communicate more frequently and in a completely platonic manner.

7/29/2011 1:14:49 PM

^ i agree with what you're saying and maybe i misread what raiden wrote, but to me i read it as that he hadn't communicated with his ex except for the couple of times this month she has tried contacting him. and this recent time he made it clear that she can't lean on him for emotional support anymore. she should have understood that that was a given but i commend raiden for making it clear to her.

my thing is - raiden shouldn't have to change his email, his phone number, etc just because he ended a relationship with someone. that's kind of ridiculous. but then again, if i was the girl, i would know that if i was walking away from the relationship that meant contacting my ex would be off limits.

7/29/2011 1:18:52 PM

Fuck that girl. She made her bed, now let her lay in it.

raiden wins. fatality.

7/29/2011 1:23:12 PM

Just to translate the last few female responses ITT:

sylvershadow

Quote :

"I watch my ex bfs through their windows as I lick the glass panes all night"

GoldenGirl

Quote :

"I am barely literate, and generally make shit up out of thin air that only makes sense to people who drool while they tie their shoes"

CassTheSass

Quote :

"I'm socially and emotionally well balanced and I'm not afraid to hide it"

[Edited on July 29, 2011 at 1:46 PM. Reason : .]

7/29/2011 1:46:40 PM

To translate for BobbyDigital

Quote :

"I can't get a relationship much less sex so I'm going to troll relationship threads and hate on all the womens cause they wouldn't touch me with a 10ft pole. "

7/29/2011 1:49:02 PM

clearly, that's me in a nutshell.

7/29/2011 1:50:06 PM