tippin on 4 vogues

8/10/2011 11:31:02 PM

Quote :

"did they continue the trend of making the chat even shittier than before? "

Yes.

8/10/2011 11:32:45 PM

it appears it's not quite as shitty as it was yesterday

at least now i can scroll through my online friends

8/10/2011 11:33:47 PM

[Edited on August 12, 2011 at 11:49 AM. Reason : Credit: CollegeHumor]

8/12/2011 11:49:17 AM

Is this the new WWJD?

Quote :

"Ok next question. If Jesus is your facebook friend would He "like" your status?"

8/12/2011 11:55:53 AM

I like how Katie knew when to cut and run after her first comment. I wouldn't have had that kind of self control.

8/12/2011 11:59:09 AM

yeah, Melanie needs to go die in a fire.

8/12/2011 11:59:34 AM

zomg. i would have had to delete Melanie if she were my friend.

8/12/2011 12:02:36 PM

BOOM ROASTED

[Edited on August 12, 2011 at 12:05 PM. Reason : So is Kevin for real?]

8/12/2011 12:05:05 PM

^^ i'd have to delete melanie and most probably her bf kevin

[Edited on August 12, 2011 at 12:06 PM. Reason : moar]

8/12/2011 12:06:32 PM

This one has been showing up on my news feed a LOT lately:

Quote :

"Think about it~~~If you cross the North Korean border illegally, you get 12 yrs. hard labor. If you cross the Afghanistan border illegally, you get shot. If you cross the U.S. border illegally you get a job, a driver's license, food stamps, a place to live, health care, housing & child benefits, education, & tax free business for 7 yrs. No wonder we are a country in debt."

Really? People want to look to North Korea and Afghanistan as our moral compass?

And I can't just de-friend. These people are my family.

8/12/2011 12:09:46 PM

block feed?

8/12/2011 12:12:31 PM

OMG I hope Melanie never gets cancer

wtf

8/12/2011 12:12:59 PM

^^ That's the weapon of choice more often than not.

8/12/2011 12:18:03 PM

Quote :

"What my Mom taught me: Religion - "You better pray that comes out of the carpet" Logic - "Because I said so, that's why" Irony - "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about" Wisdom - "When you get to my age you'll understand" Justice - "One day you'll have kids, I hope they turn out just like you!!" Re-post if your mom taught you"

8/12/2011 3:32:50 PM

I'm going to continue my bitching about young mothers on facebook here because it's the only facebook thread I see

It's always like

Stay at home shithead mom: Here's a picture of my stupid shithead kid sitting on our stupid shitty floor

And they post that shit like 10 times a day

And there's always a gaggle of other stupid fucking moms swooping in to talk about how their stupid shithead kid ALSO sits on the floor! What a coincidence! Let's talk about babies babies babies

As soon as someone posts the first mirror shot of them holding their stupid pregnant belly, they're getting unfriended. If they abort, I'll consider readding them on a provisional basis.

Unrelated, qf and punchmonk's kid showed up in my suggested friends. That's pretty weird, but she looks like a cool kid.

8/12/2011 3:39:03 PM

I really thought at the end Kevin was going to be like

"Nah im just playin, shut the fuck up Melanie."

8/12/2011 3:43:01 PM

Quote :

"ALL THE PHONE NUMBERS IN YOUR PHONE are now on Facebook. go to the top right of the screen, click on ACCOUNT, click on EDIT FRIENDS, left side of screen and click CONTACTS. you will see all phone numbers from your phone (FB friends or not) are published that you have stored in your mobile phone. TO REMOVE, go to RIGHT column, click on "this page" Please re-post this on your status, so your friends can remove their numbers and thus prevent abuse if they do not want them published."

8/12/2011 3:59:29 PM

^^^ amen to all of that

i may have been friends with those women once, but if you ceased to exist as an individual when you had a baby, then it's not possible to be your friend

8/12/2011 4:11:35 PM

^^ That actually did piss me off.

8/12/2011 4:57:30 PM

Quote :

"And there's always a gaggle of other stupid fucking moms swooping in to talk about how their stupid shithead kid ALSO sits on the floor! What a coincidence!"

lololol


and facebook thinks me and their kid should also be friends

8/13/2011 8:09:27 PM

Quote :

"TO ALL MY FELLOW NUTS - I mean friends...I just realized...We sit and stare at a screen...We talk to ourselves. Laugh our butts off. We have imaginary friends and vineyards, cities and fake animals. We cook imaginary food in imaginary bakeries...We poke people and think it's ok. We even write on walls. Think about it.....Facebook is a mental hospital...and we are all...patients... Feel free to steal this...I just did!..Party in my ward : ) lol 5 minutes ago · Like · "

8/14/2011 8:37:04 PM

ugh, that is so lame. I guarantee some 45 year old housewife wrote that shit

8/14/2011 8:43:42 PM

8/14/2011 9:04:31 PM

that's very long

8/14/2011 9:11:06 PM

omg that stephen hawking thing killed me

8/14/2011 9:13:27 PM

just about every single girl on my FB has a pic of their feet in the sand at the beach.

[Edited on August 14, 2011 at 9:31 PM. Reason : d]

8/14/2011 9:31:01 PM

ew feet

8/14/2011 9:31:46 PM

Do not post pictures of your pregnant body covered in vaseline

8/14/2011 9:42:09 PM

Quote :

"Really? People want to look to North Korea and Afghanistan as our moral compass? And I can't just de-friend. These people are my family."

That, and the Af-Pak border is porous like a sonofabitch, anyway. I mean, Afghanistan borders Pakistan's Federally Administered Tribal Area (commonly, "FATA"), which is Pakistan's wild west that they largely don't even try to govern.





and Melanie is one stupid hooker.

8/14/2011 9:50:04 PM

I hated the new Facebook chat thing but now it makes 100% complete sense, like most of their changes do... Facebook Messenger is about to make chat into the new SMS system, more or less, so they want people's name to be there whether they are online or not because it doesn't matter. It's like texting someone. Now if you turn on Facebook Messenger on your phone you get a little phone symbol next to your name... in case you haven't tried it.

8/14/2011 9:57:24 PM

yes, but google huddle beat them to the punch with a better interface

8/14/2011 10:09:28 PM

^^ I never make myself available on fb to chat. I'm usually on there for 5 minutes or less per day, so I don't want people bothering me while I scan the page for interesting news feeds.

8/14/2011 10:43:30 PM

just saw this one...

Quote :

"SINGLE or NOT put this as your status & see how many INBOXES you get. Green: I want a relationship with you. Blue: I like you a lot. Orange: I wanna kiss you. Yellow: I miss you. ............Pink: We should get to know each other. Red: Your a cutie. Purple: i love you. Black: i want you but cant have you. Grey: im stupid for leaving you"

8/14/2011 10:49:36 PM

Quote :

"PLEASE post this as your status if you know someone who has been eaten by Penguins. Penguins are nearly unstoppable and, when hungry, also breathe fire. 71% of people won't copy this into their status because they have already been eaten by Penguins. Another 28% won't because they are hiding in their showers with fire extinguishers awaiting the coming Penguin apocalypse. The remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post"

8/16/2011 4:35:55 AM

lol at the last one

8/16/2011 12:46:09 PM

seriously. i cannot stand the extra letter thing goin on


i've been known to do it once in a while but now im trying to stop it completely.



*** *****: & lleeettttt's goo! I got a house & a keyyy & a permitt..but that wont do me much good getting there hah!


***** ******: girl i gotta licenseee

*** *****: justttt leeemmmmee know babyy! (:

[Edited on August 17, 2011 at 9:00 PM. Reason : ooops]

8/17/2011 9:00:07 PM

^ agreed

OMG SO CUTEEEEEEEEE

it looks like the writer had a stroke at the end of each sentence, which is what i hope happens

8/18/2011 9:48:23 AM

A pregnant facebook friend posted pictures for a "Gender Reveal Party"

8/26/2011 3:21:49 PM

Quote :

"If you hate me, delete me. if you think im nice, like my status. if you think im a good friend, comment on this status. if you ever liked me, poke me i won't tell. if you like me now, inbox me a smiley face. if you want to date me, inbox me a heart i won't tell seriously. if you are brave put this as your status"

8/26/2011 4:21:01 PM

ha!

8/26/2011 4:22:23 PM

INBOX ME?

wtf?

8/26/2011 4:26:09 PM

i won't tell seriously

8/26/2011 4:27:19 PM

Ernie, the gf and I just got an invite for a gender reveal party. We were astounded that it was a real thing. What the fuck is wrong with our generation.

8/26/2011 4:36:13 PM

That Steven Hawking thing was a such a letdown. I wish somebody would have set her/them straight. It's alright though I'm sure Melanie will make a fine hairdresser stylist one day and maybe even a fingernail painter lady esthetician if she really stays at it!

I HATE when people on FB post profile pictures in this order:

1 - Sonogram picture
2 - Mom holding giant belly
3 - Baby daddy (usually not husband/fiancee) kissing said giant belly
4 - Picture of nasty newborn alien looking baby
5 - Baby pictures from then until I delete them (usually including constant baby status updates)

Classless.

8/26/2011 4:42:57 PM

another one of those "don't tell the boys" thing must be going on


i keep seeing "__ weeks and craving ____"


^ not gonna lie-i see myself doing the first two. maybe not the first one...but more than likely the second. but just because i think its cool that im going to have a fucking HUMAN BEING growing inside of me.

[Edited on September 1, 2011 at 7:00 PM. Reason : ]

9/1/2011 6:58:30 PM

If you blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah then post this as your status.

9/1/2011 6:59:55 PM

^^http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=200432236691196

not sure if you have to be invited to see it or not

Quote :

"Ok PRETTY LADIES.. It's that time of year again in support of Breast Cancer Awareness! We all remember last years game of writing your bra color as your status? or the way we like to have our handbag handy? Remember last year so many people took part that it made national news and the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we're doing this and helped raise awareness! ......DO NOT tell any males what the status' mean, keep them guessing And please Broadcast this to all ur female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year I did my part... So now its YOUR turn! The idea is to choose the month You were born and the day you were born. Pass this on to the girls only and lets see how far it reaches around. The last one about the bra went round the world. So you'll write... I'm (your birth month) weeks and I'm craving (your birth date) !!! as your status Example: Feb 14th= I'm 2 weeks and craving Choclolate mints!! January-1week Febuary-2weeks March-3weeks April-4weeks May-6weeks June-8weeks July-10weeks August-12weeks September-13weeks October-14weeks November-16weeks December-18weeks Days of the month: 1- Skittles 2- Starburst 3- Kit-Kat 4- M&M's 5- Tomatoes 6- Ice Cream 7- Dairy Milk 8- Lollipop 9- Peanut Butter Cups 10- Meat Balls 11- Twizzlers 12- Bubble Gum 13- Hershey's Kisses 14- Chocolate Mints 15- Twix 16- Cheese 17- Fudge 18- Cherry Jello 19- Banana's 20- Pickels 21- Chicken Wings 22- Skittles 23- Gummy Bears 24- Gummy Worms 25- Strawberry Pop Tarts 26- Starburst 27- Mini Eggs 28- Kit-Kat Chunkie 29- Double Chocolate Chip Chrunchy Cookies 30- Smarties 31- Chocolate Cake"

it's ridiculous. You want to make a difference, create awareness? Actually talk about the disease and it's symptoms or help raise money for research. People just want something to act cute about and it pisses me off

9/1/2011 7:05:05 PM

yeah i pretty much agree.

and even if youre even gonna promote awareness you can at least let people know what your talking about and not some cryptic message.

[Edited on September 1, 2011 at 7:07 PM. Reason : sdfdfd]

9/1/2011 7:07:30 PM

btw, I'm 8 weeks and craving mini eggs



I have no idea what mini eggs are

9/1/2011 7:09:22 PM