Quote :

"ALSO - still having toilet seat issues! should i even bother asking anymore?! i think NO"

I live with the toilet seat down. Not so much for any girl that might stop by in the middle of the night and is too stupid not to sit on a completely open bowl, but more because I don't want to drop my toothbrush in there. Or drop something in there. I just use toothbrush as the example.
And so any dogs who wander in don't drink from it.

[Edited on January 16, 2012 at 5:37 PM. Reason : page 4!]

1/16/2012 5:36:36 PM

^^^

I don't disagree...but I just don't think it's necessary.

Quote :

"i think moving in with an SO is the only real way to see if you could tolerate and hopefully enjoy living with them for the next 60 years or til whenever one of you dies"

I'm with my girlfriend all the time anyways. Unless one of us is out of town, we spend every night together. We have breakfast together, go to work, then we're together again after we both get off work. We just switch houses on different days. I don't need to live with her to know that I CAN live with her. I don't understand how people start living with someone they've dated for a long time and all of a sudden things start going wrong because they noticing things they don't like

IMO, they were either not paying attention prior to the move-in or they are making excuses for a relationship that wasn't going to work out anyways.

I would like to move in for convenience...which is not a good enough reason.

1/16/2012 5:37:59 PM

Quote :

"i think the exact opposite i think moving in with an SO is the only real way to see if you could tolerate and hopefully enjoy living with them for the next 60 years or til whenever one of you dies "

There was a study done about this recently, and there was no real correlation with cohabitation before marriage and success of the marriage.

1/16/2012 5:41:00 PM

to each their own I guess

if you've dated for awhile you know someone's bad habits, you know how clean they keep their bathroom, etc...you can stay over at somebody's place or vice versa numerous times, you can go out of town with them for a week and enjoy every minute of it

but i don't think thats a substitute for seeing someone every morning for 6 months straight and really knowing if that person is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with

but whatever works

1/16/2012 6:29:12 PM

Quote :

"but i don't think thats a substitute for seeing someone every morning for 6 months straight and really knowing if that person is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with"

Did you even read my post? This has already happened.

Again...I'm not against living with someone before marriage. I'm indifferent towards it. I do, however, see a lot of people moving in with each other after only dating for a few months. Usually that ends in fail. I think it's a good idea to be engaged, or at least have a set plan for future marriage before moving in together. But to each their own.

1/16/2012 6:35:30 PM

1) Date for a good while
2) Live together for a good while
3) Be engaged for a good while
4) Then get married

No one path is for everyone, but I think generally increasing levels of commitment make sense.

TreeTwista10

Quote :

"i think living with someone for at least 6 months is a must in order to learn if you would want to spend the rest of your life living with them"

I read that as don't skip step 2.

jbrick83

Quote :

"I do, however, see a lot of people moving in with each other after only dating for a few months. Usually that ends in fail."

I read that as don't skip step 1.

I think both are fair points.

Quote :

"I think it's a good idea to be engaged, or at least have a set plan for future marriage before moving in together."

Committing to life together before committing to a 6 or 12 month lease together seems like just as much skipping a step to me, as would moving in together without really dating much as you had described.

Quote :

"But to each their own."

Basically the whole thread comes down to that. While some general practices might work better for more people, no two relationships or couples are alike. And jbrick83 is right on with that, to each their own.

1/16/2012 10:48:42 PM

Quote :

"There was a study done about this recently, and there was no real correlation with cohabitation before marriage and success of the marriage. "

Interesting. I know back about ten years ago the studies I read said that living together before marriage was detrimental to the marriage. I guess things are changing.

1/22/2012 9:44:58 PM

That just proves that studies aren't shit... the only time they hold any weight... is if you're in corporate or college.

Anyone who cites studies regarding matters of life is only admitting that they themselves have not experienced anything but still wish to carry weight in a conversation.

And if you're in corporate, you're pretty much selling or bs-ing your way out of something.

1/23/2012 2:45:10 AM

It all comes down to people wanting to make it work.

If both do, it does.

If one doesn't, it won't.

No other factors play a part.



and for the record, moving in with my girlfriend was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

1/23/2012 2:52:42 AM