page 4

wow.

Sucks about the Kindle, is there no way to get a replacement shipped to you?

I really love this thread. Hopefully the boredom lifts up a bit though

3/11/2013 4:38:25 PM

Haha, yeah, I do bitch a lot because it's sort of a key component to PC culture. You bitch about the host country. If you rave about it, you get funny looks.

But no, I'm not looking for a way out, and for the most part I AM really happy. Shit happens here that is so bizarre that I can't help but love it, even when it is bizarre or frightening. I got charged by an elephant last week (admittedly in a nature preserve). How often does that shit happen back home? Pretty much never. My village has a talking haystack that does magic tricks. There are forbidden voodoo forests five minutes away from my house. If I so choose, I can see my dinner go from clucking merrily in the yard to my plate in the course of an afternoon. I routinely eat new and absurd things (OK, most of these are terrible, but goat intestines are my new favorite). The bush taxis are unpleasant but they're always good for a story. I can talk to people back home about shit that is, to me, completely mundane, and have them respond with awe. On the flip side, there are people here who have the same response when I explain a washing machine or the fact that France is not, in fact, between South Africa and the United States. There are about five hundred kids in my neighborhood who practically burst at the seams with joy every time I walk by, just because I wave at them. I got my first dog here. Also my first rabbit (I didn't want the rabbit, and it was subsequently stolen and eaten, but still).

No, the only way I'm leaving here before September 2014 is on a stretcher and against my will.

^A kindle can be sent with a volunteer coming back from a home visit (we wouldn't trust it in the mail -- the postal service here is not, ah, unimpeachable). The main issue is money; I have none back home, and get paid next to nothing here. With any luck my tax returns (I had some shit jobs in 2012 before I left) will be enough to buy one, but for now it's the godawful selection at the library.

[Edited on March 11, 2013 at 4:47 PM. Reason : ]

3/11/2013 4:45:21 PM

could we not send you something?

i know you said the mail sucks but surely they wouldnt steal books, magazines or coloring books.

3/11/2013 4:51:03 PM

Quote :

" My village has a talking haystack that does magic tricks. "

???

3/11/2013 4:59:20 PM

TWW, let's find a way to get this dude a Kindle

3/11/2013 5:04:45 PM

Quote :

"could we not send you something? "

You certainly could! Care packages are the only thing more important to volunteers than gossip and malaria prophylaxis.

My address is:

Corps de la Paix
01 BP 971
Cotonou, Benin
Afrique de l'Oeste (NOT l'Queste, as many people put and which seems to confuse someone along the way)

Magazines and books are great for me, coloring books and other little things for kids are great for my friends and neighbors, and of course nobody ever turned up their nose at nonperishable snacks (packages routinely take two or three months to make it to the office, letters and large envelopes -- like the kind you could put magazines in) are quicker.

And if I'm going to play the beggar -- and I am -- all of the volunteers benefit from jump drives with movies or TV shows on them. We put 'em on a hard drive at the workstation. People with electricity (like me) bring them back to post, others (especially those here for long periods of time due to illness) watch them here.

That last bit may make us seem a bit spoiled, but you can't be out doing things all the time. Going out at night is ill-advised for a number of reasons. And when it rains, absolutely nothing happens in Benin. They treat rain like old North Carolinians treat snow and ice, but worse. All activity ceases. And during the rainy seasons -- about half the year -- it rains for at least an hour EVERY DAY. During that time it wouldn't matter if you were handing out free malaria medicine and blowjobs, nobody would come get them.

And pilgrim, if you want to see the haystack, do a google search for "zangbeto."

One more thing on packages -- if you are so good as to send one, only use US mail. DHL and others charge $100+ on delivery. That's more than half what I make in a month, so unless you're sending me stacks of money it's going to be a losing proposition here in spite of all best intentions.

[Edited on March 11, 2013 at 5:14 PM. Reason : ]

3/11/2013 5:11:07 PM

What kind of "back home" foods are you craving/missing?

People can send me paypal $$$ and then I'll buy stuff for grumpy to enjoy

Looks like the international flat rate boxes to Benin run about $80

[Edited on March 11, 2013 at 5:18 PM. Reason : f]

3/11/2013 5:15:11 PM

Chips. They don't do "crispy" here. Most foods are boiled into as mushy a consistency as possible.

Candy is always a win. I rarely ate it back home but here it is not only delicious, it forms a sort of PC currency. Like cigarettes in prison. (You could also replace "candy" with "beef jerky" in that sentence)

Spices, seasonings, mixes -- these are almost always good news. Even crystal lite and gatorade powder are welcome. On my budget, I can afford water and the local moonshine, which tastes like death. But crystal lite covers a multitude of sins. As to seasonings, etc., most of my meals are going to center on spaghetti (wildly popular here for some reason) or rice. I can do a lot with spaghetti and rice, but there's a limit to the range of flavors available here. The main additive consists of insanely hot peppers, which are great but don't provide much variety. Also tomato paste. This country is built around tomato paste.

3/11/2013 5:20:49 PM

do you eat a lot of rice? when I was in China I was craving some regular old Kikoman soy sauce (the stuff they have there is like syrup).

Good hearing from you though, you've got more guts than I'll ever have doing a two year stint like that

3/11/2013 5:39:33 PM

OK, thats it. we are going to plan a care package drive to send to you and all of your little homies in the jungle.

3/11/2013 5:42:32 PM

i'm in

3/11/2013 5:49:35 PM

Kikoman soy sauce (and others like it) is one of the things I can get in the city "supermarkets" (they have about the size and selection of a decent convenience store in NC). I'm not entirely sure why, though it may have to do with the growing Chinese influence here. I'd read about this, of course, and my pseudo-thesis was even on the topic, but it is another thing to see firsthand. There are some suspiciously prominent Chinese buildings here, and their influence is visible even in many villages. How they ply this influence, I don't know. The next person to meet a Chinese worker/volunteer here who speaks French or local language will be the first.

And I should point out by way of honesty that there is one store in Cotonou that is basically like Target, except you can also get porn there. It's called Erevan, out by the airport and where all the embassy bigwigs live. I've been to it and even bought a couple of things (nonstick frying pan, thank Christ, and a pillow that doesn't feel like it's filled with cat skulls). Unfortunately, things there have more or less American prices. I do not have an American wage. I make about six dollars a day. In village, you can live in reasonable comfort on this, and in fact can save up a little for things like my recent trip to the nature preserve up north. I could probably eat like a total villager for a little more than a dollar, but then, a lot of them are malnourished so I'll pass.

You are all far too kind and it is much appreciated.

[Edited on March 11, 2013 at 5:59 PM. Reason : ]

3/11/2013 5:58:56 PM

dude i would totally shop at Erevan

http://www.erevanbenin.com/

3/11/2013 6:10:01 PM

can people just send you money, or are you trying to get the real experience? I'm assuming they probably have a western union or similar nearby.

3/11/2013 6:10:23 PM

There's quite a few Western Union places around, though I confess I don't know how they work and hear that they eat up quite a lot in fees. There are volunteers that use them, though.

In general my problem isn't want of money -- though that may come up later this year when I try to make a trip to Ghana to see the town where my dad was a volunteer in 1972-1974 (and, OK, also Accra, which has movie theaters and a KFC).

No, the problem is mostly lack of things to buy. Even if I could afford a shopping spree at Erevan, I would come back mostly with overpriced food, and even that would not include a decent fucking bag of chips. Erevan has French chips. They are appalling.

I have been impressed with how little I feel like I need here. If my laptop died tomorrow (a real possibility, the thing is ancient -- even the keyboard is failing -- but it still plays movies, and that's what matters), I could live with it. The only objects I'd call really central to my happiness are my fan, my reading material, and my cheap African cell-phone that lets me text other volunteers.

3/11/2013 6:20:56 PM

i will be glad to supply your village with a weeks worth of

3/11/2013 6:21:09 PM

We've got that. Pork's just a bit pricey, which is odd when you think about how half the town won't eat it (Muslim) and there are pigs all over.

3/11/2013 6:23:03 PM

OK,
Here is a summary, so far, of the things you would enjoy:

Items should be sent to:

Corps de la Paix
01 BP 971
Cotonou, Benin
Afrique de l'Oeste (NOT l'Queste, as many people put and which seems to confuse someone along the way)

only use US mail. DHL and others charge $100+ on delivery - (packages routinely take two or three months to make it to the office, letters and large envelopes -- like the kind you could put magazines in) are quicker.

• Magazines and books



• coloring books and other little things for kids are great for my friends and neighbors



• nonperishable snacks



• Chips



• Candy is always a win.



• crystal lite and gatorade powder are welcome.



• Spices, seasonings, mixes -- these are almost always good news.



• jump drives with movies or TV shows on them - all of the volunteers benefit from jump drives with movies or TV shows on them. We put 'em on a hard drive at the workstation. People with electricity (like me) bring them back to post, others (especially those here for long periods of time due to illness) watch them here.

3/11/2013 6:33:33 PM

I'm glad you're still alive

3/11/2013 6:39:47 PM

That sounds about right, yessir.

I guess "airplane bottles" goes without saying, considering the company. The whiskey here has an ingredients label (disturbing enough), and it reads: "Water, 43% alcohol, whiskey aroma." The results are predictable.

3/11/2013 6:40:37 PM

is this thread about bootleg movies?

for shaaaame

3/11/2013 7:24:12 PM

Someone send this guy a CJL cancer AIDS biscuit.

3/11/2013 7:29:42 PM

i can send you a thumbdrive

[Edited on March 11, 2013 at 7:39 PM. Reason : .]

3/11/2013 7:39:24 PM

Tell us a story of something crazy happening!

3/11/2013 10:52:02 PM

OK. Well, a few months ago my boss showed up at my house at 7 in the morning and told me we were going to a funeral. I go to a lot of funerals here. After they bury the dead guy (frequently under the floor of the house), there's a party. The Beninese don't have a firm grasp on some things but they know how to do a funeral.

Well, unfortunately this one is in another town a couple of hours away, so I throw some necessitities in a bag and get shoved into a bush taxi. The funeral party was mostly what I'm used to -- tents set up, DJ blasting music from randomly placed speakers, beer and food that is free for me.

Then as the sun goes down, four or five zanbetos -- the afforementioned haystacks -- came out. This is unusual. The zangbeto, like all purportedly supernatural entitites in Benin, talks with the voice of Fat Albert. They come with handlers, just dudes in street clothes who assist them by, among other things, tapping them with sticks when they get too close to obstacles. (The dude inside the haystack has a tiny screen to see through, accidents happen.) The handlers also help perform a variety of demonstrations to prove that there's nobody actually inside the zangbeto, which most people very sincerely believe is supernatural.

Then they danced around and performed miracles. The latter takes the form of a handler placing an object on the ground so that the zangbeto can climb over it, shake for a minute, and step back to reveal that he has transformed the object. A stone is turned into candy, for example. The least impressive trick involved a bottle of water being turned into a bottle moonshine, except they look identical and nobody was allowed to do a taste test, so it looked like he did...nothing. And sometimes they just randomly produce something -- a turtle, a puppy, etc.

So it was pretty cool and trippy and genuinely African. Unfortunately, after they left it became obvious that my boss had no plans for sleeping. Well, that's not true. His plan was "just kind of sleep on the ground wherever." Meanwhile, it's dropped to 77 degrees farenheit, so he thinks its freezing and has put on a parka so heavy that he looks like a live-action black version of Kenny.

Well, about three in the morning I got hit with my first bout of diarrhea in Africa. I had brought toilet paper just in case. It had been stolen. We were in an open field with no broad-leafed plants. The latrine itself had a broken door and a pile of human shit on the floor a good six inches away from the hole. I had to tear apart my underwear and use that.

It was a long night. The next day my boss begrudgingly agreed to send me home, even though I would miss more zangbeto shenanigans. Unfortunately he did not let me look for a taxi, he put me on the back of his cousin's motorcycle. These are dangerous enough under normal circumstances, but they are really bad when you put an exhausted and delerious person on them for two hours. And the motherfucker broke down. I slept on a mechanic's floor for hours.

3/12/2013 2:54:25 AM

You've posted a lot of things here and on facebook, that's not on your blog...

is that because you don't have time to blog them, or you don't want them on your blog (like the $2 prostitutes thing).

I'd volunteer to put them on your blog if it's a time thing, but... i wouldn't censor much.

3/12/2013 3:02:34 AM

Dear Grumpy,

I love you and still think of you
I remember all of the times that we shared at skinny house
the wisdom that you bestowed upon me
and oddly enough, all of the stories that you told me of your brother

I hope that we can hang out again, but until we do
enjoy the African cuisine my friend. You have earned it.

-Banjo

3/12/2013 3:22:46 AM

There are probably things I say on here that I wouldn't want on the blog, which -- at least in theory -- someone from PC reviews occasionally. They probably already don't like it very much.

But some things I just forget. I did, incidentally, mention the prostitutes (though maybe not the price, exactly). And the above zangbeto/pooping story appeared in much longer form on the blog.

3/12/2013 3:23:45 AM

I think that it was great.

Just be sure to wrap it up.

3/12/2013 3:35:07 AM

Post your blog URL

3/12/2013 6:43:25 AM

As moron posted on the last page, my blog is http://www.voodoobatman.com

3/12/2013 6:58:46 AM

Thanks for the link to the blog. And I really like Grumpy now just because he likes the Aubrey/Maturin series. I got so into it a few years ago I bought a couple of companion books that help you understand the nautical terms. They were a great way to understand all about the rigging, different types of weapons, sails, etc. Although after just having finished The Dark Tower series, I was seriously considering reading Under the Dome. Hmmm.

[Edited on March 12, 2013 at 9:18 AM. Reason : ]

3/12/2013 9:17:19 AM

if tdub is sending a care package, i want in

Grumpy you are our hero

3/12/2013 9:37:08 AM

so far we have settledown, Fhqwhgads and myself willing to pitch in a TWW care package.

dtownral said he has a thumb drive he can send

Fhqwhgads ... can you be in charge of getting the stuff at maximum low prices with your extreme coupon cutting/using skills?

[Edited on March 12, 2013 at 10:01 AM. Reason : dtownral]

3/12/2013 9:39:49 AM

HAHA YES

3/12/2013 9:44:41 AM

You are all very good people and I appreciate it.

Quote :

"And I really like Grumpy now just because he likes the Aubrey/Maturin series."

The loss of this series is the thing I hate most about losing the kindle. I could probably just re-read those books over and over for two years if it came down to it.

3/12/2013 9:58:26 AM

when I go to the blog url I get a virus notification pop up.... anyone else having that problem or is it just me

3/12/2013 10:10:12 AM

I added a couple of pictures to my gallery here, but for some reason this computer won't let me follow the necessary operation to post them in this thread, so...sorry. And there's many more on facebook but I gotta hop in another goddamn bush taxi soon.

And I dunno about the virus thing. It wouldn't surprise me. I have to post on it from cyber cafes a lot, and those are used mostly by guys sending Nigerian prince e-mail scans. I shit you not, I have stared at their computer screens and that's what they are doing.

Alright, time for me to go, I don't want to chance being in a bush taxi at night. On the plus side I wouldn't see the thing that would definitely kill me, because bush taxis and headlights don't always go together.

I'll talk to you all next time I have internet, thanks again and enjoy food, cool weather, eventually air conditioning, etc.

[Edited on March 12, 2013 at 10:31 AM. Reason : ]

3/12/2013 10:13:58 AM

If someone sets up a Paypal I'll throw in $zebulon.

3/12/2013 11:00:31 AM

^ i will contribute....lets do this tdub!

3/12/2013 11:05:43 AM

we can use my paypal acct

syleach1@gmail.com

I have a ton (and I mean a ton) of toothpaste, floss, toothbrushes, deodorants etc that I can send.



[Edited on March 12, 2013 at 11:16 AM. Reason : updated with pic of toothpaste/toothbrushes]

3/12/2013 11:08:06 AM

lol you cant post a picture from your email

3/12/2013 12:05:01 PM

wow. what a fail. and from a veteran user.

3/12/2013 12:07:27 PM

i'm sorry

i am so ashamed.



[Edited on March 12, 2013 at 12:24 PM. Reason : eeeeh]

3/12/2013 12:24:42 PM

Do you keep your supplies in an unlit cave?

3/12/2013 12:26:06 PM

LOL

the light is not good in that room. its my stockpile room

3/12/2013 12:27:03 PM

I'm really curious why you keep tubs of unorganized supplies? Is this a preppers thing?

3/12/2013 12:28:06 PM

That tub is full of toothpate/toothbrushes

Then I put the tubs on shelves.

Its not a preppers thing. I get it all for free using coupons. So its a couponing thing

I have tubs for shampoos, bodywash, deodorant, razors etc

3/12/2013 12:29:53 PM

That's how honeybooboo started...

but, what are you doing about shipping? packages take forever, envelopes get quicker.

We doing both? Sending an envelope with sweets/flash drives, then a package of "things" for the kiddies?

3/13/2013 7:24:11 PM

I'm obsessed with watching YouTube videos of zangbeto.

I now love talking haystacks that do magic tricks.

[Edited on March 13, 2013 at 10:50 PM. Reason : Zangbetofatalbert]

3/13/2013 10:48:47 PM