yes

Quote :

"Quote : "I don't understand how this is even a question. Girls who flirt are disrespecting the relationship, and disrespecting their partner - period." Or, it's like everything else, and what works for one couple doesn't for another. If both people in a relationship are OK with casual flirting, that doesn't affect you and your relationships. Different strokes."

8/15/2013 1:59:24 PM

I'll finally agree with a Terp post for the first time ever

8/15/2013 2:01:15 PM

That being said, if you find yourself flirting or otherwise seeking out the attention of others because you aren't getting something you want from your relationship, that's probably going to cause some issues down the road.

8/15/2013 2:02:30 PM

Quote :

"actually i was implying that you are wrong"

I knew that.

Apparently you didn't see what I did there.

8/15/2013 2:12:28 PM

I get that there are different strokes for different folks, I mean some people go so far as to be polygamous, cuckold, etc. but in a traditional arrangement I just don't think it's acceptable, but then again I'm pretty conservative about things like that.

I see flirting as showing one of two things:

Being unhappy in their relationship / actually trying to get with the person they are flirting with.

or..

I feel like girls who have a need to flirt are trying to get male attention and that's the way they feel recognized, wanted, accepted, etc. This is also a hallmark of somebody with deep daddy issues in my experiences.

8/15/2013 2:20:08 PM

Quote :

"I feel like girls who have a need to flirt are trying to get male attention and that's the way they feel recognized, wanted, accepted, etc."

ding ding ding


I've been there

8/15/2013 2:26:53 PM

why is most of this thread against women who flirt and not men who flirt?

8/15/2013 2:27:24 PM

flirting is great. come on. i love a good flirt sesh.

8/15/2013 2:29:10 PM

pretty sure everyone itt is defining "flirt" differently

8/15/2013 2:29:13 PM

Generally speaking, if a girl flirts with a dude, the dude is thinking about sleeping with her.

If a dude is flirting with a girl, the dude is thinking about sleeping with her.

8/15/2013 2:32:14 PM

Quote :

"why is most of this thread against women who flirt and not men who flirt?"

Not to be sexist, but men naturally are there to spread the seed while women want to protect the egg. It's not that it's any less wrong for a man in a relationship to flirt, it's just the gender roles that society has put into place traditionally. Gender roles are obviously changing in society, and that's why there is a lot of discussion on these types of issues.

When I have a girlfriend, I do not flirt with other women and it makes me feel guilty when they flirt with me because even if I don't engage them, I feel like I'm hiding something from my SO and bringing it up that somebody flirted with me would do more harm than good I think. Some men in relationships flirt with girls just to see if they "still have it". A lot of those same guys end up cheating on their girlfriends as a result.

My viewpoint is that trust and respect are paramount in a relationship and if both people are happy, you shouldn't exhibit anything publicly that may infer that you are available, dissatisfied with your partner, etc. because it's publicly disrespecting the bond that you have.

8/15/2013 2:37:31 PM

^
how do you define flirting?

8/15/2013 2:46:42 PM

if i go into a store or restaurant and some cute female employee is like "hi! welcome to (so-and-so)" with a smile on her face, i assume she is flirting with me, and generally whip my dick out

8/15/2013 2:48:29 PM

I'd like to know too.

8/15/2013 2:48:52 PM

^^i bet you think about sleeping with her

8/15/2013 2:49:34 PM

i tease my friends girlfriends sometimes. and they tease back.

i also think they're attractive and i'd def hit it if they weren't dating my friends.

does that mean i'm flirting with them?

should i constrain our relationship to handshakes and small talk?

8/15/2013 2:51:51 PM

My viewpoint is that trust and respect are paramount in a relationship and if both people are happy, you shouldn't be worried your SO is going to cheat on you because they flirt with someone else occasionally.

8/15/2013 2:53:24 PM

^^ You can extend beyond small talk and still not flirt. This isn't rocket science. Just be a civilized human being.

^ Why flirt? What's wrong that would make you want to flirt?

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 2:54 PM. Reason : ]

8/15/2013 2:53:39 PM

Quote :

"^ Why flirt? What's wrong that would make you want to flirt?"

why watch porn when you can fuck your girlfriend

8/15/2013 2:55:57 PM

Flirting is something that people enjoy and its not cheating. There's nothing wrong with attraction.

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

8/15/2013 2:57:40 PM

Nothing is wrong. It's not that I go out and say "hell yeah, I'm going to flirt so hard tonight."

I just don't think it's a horrible, inexcusable thing for people in relationships to do from time to time.

8/15/2013 2:58:24 PM

Go away Krallum, I don't see how a virgin could add any valuable substance to the discussion that we are having here.

8/15/2013 2:59:23 PM

^
rude

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 3:02 PM. Reason : .]

8/15/2013 2:59:45 PM

How is flirting rude?

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

8/15/2013 3:01:39 PM

I just don't understand why flirt.

The jacking off comparison is ridiculous.

You don't get an orgasm from flirting.

It's just a stupid way to fuck up a relationship.

Mind your fucking manners.

8/15/2013 3:02:38 PM

Quote :

"You don't get an orgasm from flirting."

wut. orgasms are not the only means to personal satisfaction

8/15/2013 3:03:27 PM

I was responding to the jacking off comparison. It's right there a few posts above. Jeez.

8/15/2013 3:04:37 PM

Quote :

"It's just a stupid way to fuck up a relationship. Mind your fucking manners."

Not everyone is as insecure as you are about your relationship.

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

8/15/2013 3:06:05 PM

what if flirting and attention whoring is isolated to the virtual world only?

i have def been guilty of this even though i'm completely happy with my marriage. i'm just a narcissistic attention whore. i'm trying to work on that.

8/15/2013 3:06:24 PM

Quote :

"I was responding to the jacking off comparison. It's right there a few posts above. Jeez."

i know. you asked why people flirt. you get harmless personal gratification from flirting. you get harmless personal gratification from porn. you're just assuming that flirting always leads to fucking.

8/15/2013 3:08:21 PM

^^ Well that's not flirting, that's just joking around.

^ No I'm not. I explained this before. I'm not saying flirting always leads to fucking. I'm saying those flirting girls have made themselves available for fucking.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 3:11 PM. Reason : ]

8/15/2013 3:08:32 PM

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 3:13 PM. Reason : .]

8/15/2013 3:10:32 PM

^ or it's only flirting when in person?

8/15/2013 3:11:13 PM

Quote :

"what if flirting and attention whoring is isolated to the virtual world only?"

it's the exact same thing

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 3:11 PM. Reason : .]

8/15/2013 3:11:16 PM

except if you are flirting with someone 2,000 miles away its a lot less likely that you will cheat then if it was a co-worker that you are playing grab ass with amarite?

8/15/2013 3:17:39 PM

You should be smart enough to not flirt with anyone that you're around often.

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

8/15/2013 3:19:46 PM

I think you're constantly aiming to get aroused or arouse someone else who is not your SO then it might be an issue. I playfully flirt online but I'm not looking to necessarily get aroused or get the person aroused.

8/15/2013 3:20:07 PM

Quote :

"except if you are flirting with someone 2,000 miles away its a lot less likely that you will cheat then if it was a co-worker that you are playing grab ass with amarite?"

it's not the act of flirting that's all that bad, it's the intentions you have for doing so. you said it yourself: you're seeking validation. while it's probably less likely to lead to actual fucking, it could if you pursued it enough. flirting can lead to sexting, phone sex, or whatever and then you could easily book a weekend away to fuck someone. this shit happens all the time actually. putting yourself in that situation really isn't any different than getting hammered and going to a bar and chatting it up with strangers.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 3:21 PM. Reason : .]

8/15/2013 3:20:13 PM

yeah, no. flirting online is quite different than flirting with a co-worker.

8/15/2013 3:23:15 PM

Whats wrong with wanting a little confidence boost?

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

8/15/2013 3:24:26 PM

i disagree.

if you're flirting online with someone you really want to fuck and putting lots of effort into it, it can easily happen.

it's the LEVEL of flirting and how bad you want to fuck them that matters most.

8/15/2013 3:24:54 PM

Yeah some people are making 'attention whoring' or 'validation' out to be some sort of pathology.

I'm sure when all of you go out, you're not trying to look so messy either. It's the same thing.

8/15/2013 3:27:39 PM

Quote :

"I'm sure when all of you go out, you're not trying to look so messy either. It's the same thing."

Wait... what?

8/15/2013 3:29:29 PM

If you're single, I say you should go ahead and seek out all the validation you want, however the fuck you want it. Post all the selfies you want on FB and flirt with anything that walks. You're not beholden to anyone, so go nuts.

When you're committed to someone, you should cut that shit out for your own sake and your better half. It makes you look desperate and your SO pathetic for having to put up with it, or foolish for not seeing what a pig you are.

[Edited on August 15, 2013 at 3:32 PM. Reason : .]

8/15/2013 3:31:12 PM

blah blah blah all this stuff should be handled between you and your SO anyways. it's different for everyone.

8/15/2013 3:33:48 PM

of course it's different for every couple. the problem is a lot of people don't really discuss this shit or their views change during the relationship.

8/15/2013 3:39:17 PM

Sucks for them?

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

8/15/2013 3:40:42 PM

monogamy/fidelity is pretty fucking difficult. it takes a lot of self control and effort, and a lot of people don't feel like doing the work. i think if more people admitted that they really don't want to be monogamous, their lives would be easier.

8/15/2013 3:45:58 PM

Yeah, I told my gf that I wasn't down with monogamy, but she didn't like the idea of me being promiscuous. And then she suggested that she would be promiscuous too, and i was like "Oh hell no, this only applies to me".

8/15/2013 3:52:47 PM

"Let's try monogamy until something better comes along!"

8/15/2013 3:58:39 PM