Quote :

"I'm sorry that you have not read the teachings of the prophets or have not read McConkie's Mormon Doctrine. It is there in black and white. It is unavoidable."

And it's not scripture or official.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_R._McConkie#Mormon_Doctrine

2/23/2007 9:35:30 AM

what about the general conference sermons? Seriously though, one would assume that the teachings of an apostle would not be so willingly thrown out the window. Especially when it is published by the publishing wing of the mormon church.

2/23/2007 9:36:55 AM

Hell is when humanity one day looks at the stars and sees only heaven.

2/23/2007 9:43:09 AM

what?

2/23/2007 9:45:08 AM

Quote :

"I never heard this. The highest degree of the celestial kingdom requires you be sealed/married in the temple."

Request for clarification. In order to enter the highest degree, you must be married in temple? So, anyone who dies without being married can not enter this highest degree?

2/23/2007 9:46:50 AM

^4 Meh. Maybe that is something that will be clear one day. For me there really isn't a point to worrying about it now. I'm too busy trying to stomach the milk of trying to live a good life in the here and now to concern myself with things that may or may not happen after this life. I figure if I live a good life I'll worry about what comes next when it's time to worry about what comes next. Until then it's a pointless activity. Why look beyond the mark?

^vicarious sealings/marriages are also performed in the temple. My wife and I can go to the temple and be sealed in behalf of our ancestors. Our ancestors retain their agency and are free to accept or reject that ordinance.


[Edited on February 23, 2007 at 9:53 AM. Reason : -]

2/23/2007 9:50:47 AM

Quote :

"Before coming to this earth we lived as spirits in a "pre-existence", during which we were tested"

Just want to say that though I don't remember the details, my cousins are mormon, and when I was about 12 I went to their church after spending the night on a saturday. They showed us a video about these kids before they were born living in "pre-existence." So that's definitely a mormon faith. I don't remember if there was any kind of test, but there were two of them, a boy and a girl, who were told they would fall in love in their next existence.

2/23/2007 9:57:14 AM

^I don't think I'd derive any Mormon doctrine from "Saturday's Warrior," but yes... we believe in a pre-existence.

http://www.ericdsnider.com/theater/saturdays-warrior/

Quote :

"B-"

Ha! Who rates these things? Probably huge fans of Michael McLean.

[Edited on February 23, 2007 at 10:32 AM. Reason : -]

2/23/2007 10:29:15 AM

Quote :

"^vicarious sealings/marriages are also performed in the temple. My wife and I can go to the temple and be sealed in behalf of our ancestors. Our ancestors retain their agency and are free to accept or reject that ordinance. "

But what about people who don't marry before their death? Do they have no hope of attaining that highest level?

2/23/2007 10:59:29 AM

I want some attention mofos. Go back and read my shit and say something. What's the matter: can't handle anything outside your frame of refrence?

[Edited on February 23, 2007 at 11:14 AM. Reason : sic]

2/23/2007 11:11:55 AM

1) I'm impressed that this thread has some meat to it, and that it has stayed (largely) on track for 5 pages. Learned a lot and what not.

2) Something that interests me (along these lines) is the theory of Memes*. Mormonism is clearly a break-off strand of Christianity . . . why does it take root and other branches fail? What made Christianity and Islam take off when (likely) many other prophets failed.

Not sure that this needs to be addressed in this thread, but its worth a thought.

*good definitions here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meme and here: http://www.memecentral.com/

2/23/2007 11:30:40 AM

I'm still waiting on the nudes...

2/23/2007 11:34:41 AM

I'm still waiting on the nudes...

2/23/2007 11:35:41 AM

Nudes arent gonna happen. Sry guys.

2/23/2007 11:49:53 AM

^^^ as for christianity taking off, it was due to the romans, primarily Constatine during the Roman Empire where there was an uprising of Jesus Followers and since Constantine was seeking to unify Rome and to gain support from the vast masses of christians in the Roman empire he converted and started converting... while at the same time taking lands from the west and the greeks and converting the agnostics and athiest.


But basically... Jesus started it all

[Edited on February 23, 2007 at 11:52 AM. Reason : .]

2/23/2007 11:51:55 AM

Quote :

"1) I'm impressed that this thread has some meat to it, and that it has stayed (largely) on track for 5 pages. Learned a lot and what not."

Well, it sorta went from being a venting from skank into a slight tangent discussing Mormonism. The discussion has been pretty interesting.

Quote :

" I want some attention mofos. Go back and read my shit and say something. What's the matter: can't handle anything outside your frame of refrence?"

I don't know wtf you were talking about with that story about plurals. There, happy?

2/23/2007 11:54:26 AM

Well, I will say that the thread title should have been "Don't ever date a morwoman."

2/23/2007 12:35:29 PM

No doubt...

I dont think a mormon guy would ever data a non mormon girl and get all engaged and stuff and then be like, no sry, we cant get married because I want to in the temple.

In the end, this is just a case of a girl being a girl, and her excuse happened to be that she was mormon...

2/23/2007 1:40:40 PM

more questions

2/23/2007 2:21:55 PM

Quote :

"Mormonism is clearly a break-off strand of Christianity . . . why does it take root and other branches fail?"

because of a new american identity that needed a new american religion, thats all mormonism is

2/23/2007 7:25:11 PM

Quote :

"Well, it sorta went from being a venting from skank into a slight tangent discussing Mormonism. The discussion has been pretty interesting."

Point taken, but it has yet to devolve into a "your religion sucks", "no, your religion sucks", "you're a bigot", "you're a zionist" etc. etc. Thats saying a lot for TWW, but it was probably saved by never having been in TSB.

Quote :

"as for christianity taking off, it was due to the romans, primarily Constatine during the Roman Empire where there was an uprising of Jesus Followers and since Constantine was seeking to unify Rome and to gain support from the vast masses of christians in the Roman empire he converted and started converting... while at the same time taking lands from the west and the greeks and converting the agnostics and athiest."

Fair enough, I've got some thoughts but we'll keep this particular thread on track.

2/23/2007 8:34:38 PM

Quote :

"Point taken, but it has yet to devolve into a "your religion sucks", "no, your religion sucks", "you're a bigot", "you're a zionist" etc. etc. Thats saying a lot for TWW, but it was probably saved by never having been in TSB."

in all fairness mormonism does suck. it sucks more than most religions. don't get me wrong, every religion sucks, but this is 2nd behind scientology on the level of suck.

2/23/2007 10:22:19 PM

^ ftw

2/23/2007 10:49:39 PM

Quote :

"in all fairness mormonism does suck. it sucks more than most religions. don't get me wrong, every religion sucks, but this is 2nd behind scientology on the level of suck."

i dont' know. I think the christian scientists and snake handlers suck more. at least mormonism never put my life at risk.

2/24/2007 3:04:48 AM

last i heard, christian science and snake handlers didnt engage in systemic brainwashing techniques.

but yeah, they suck too.

2/24/2007 3:08:52 AM

I think they do.

2/24/2007 3:11:59 AM

Quote :

"last i heard, christian science and snake handlers didnt engage in systemic brainwashing techniques."

There have been a lot of more or less cults that have started as Christian extremes that were just run by one nutjob or a small number of them. Last one I heard of started as a Southern Baptist with a crazy minister. Definitely involved a lot of brainwashing.

2/24/2007 7:45:16 AM

Like Islam lolz!1!!@

2/24/2007 10:12:41 AM

Quote :

"t's just another cult that is trying to get as many people as they can to go to hell with them."

Because obviously your cult is the right one.

2/25/2007 1:55:25 PM

Anything with so many secrets and pressure is considered cultlike. I dont want to feel like I am going to hell immediately if I stray from the path.

2/25/2007 1:57:48 PM

Quote :

"Anything with so many secrets and pressure is considered cultlike. I dont want to feel like I am going to hell immediately if I stray from the path."

that's the best part about mormonism. There is no hell.

2/25/2007 2:03:06 PM

And no bees! I can't stand religions that use bees to scare you. Fucking bees.

[Edited on February 25, 2007 at 2:06 PM. Reason : ]

2/25/2007 2:06:20 PM

huh?

2/25/2007 2:07:47 PM

I just don't like bees OK? It's just one of those things that turned me away from the catholic church- their use of hell and bees.

[Edited on February 25, 2007 at 2:09 PM. Reason : ]

2/25/2007 2:08:19 PM

Quote :

"that's the best part about mormonism. There is no hell."

I guess its hell enough being a mormon on earth.

2/25/2007 2:13:50 PM

gfuckingg

2/25/2007 2:19:02 PM

Quote :

"the catholics were christian first but now the new kids claim christianity and say the OGs are fakes childish, isnt it? Oh and they just wanted divorces "

well divorces and 94 other things.

Mormons thrive on people who aren't quite sure what they believe. They tell the story of how the church was founded and make those people feel like they are at home and they fit in because most the people who join the church are confuse with their faith.

However the church doesn't welcome you as much as they want you to believe.

If a girl gets pregnant before marriage the mormon church will excuminicate her.
I know in my church if a girl gets pregnant before marriage they will be there for her and welcome the child into the world and welcome the child into the family of the church. My church will baptize the child and God will welcome the child into the Kingdom of Heaven.


There are so many things that the mormon church won't tell you when they are trying to convert you because so many things they believe conflict with the Christian church.


The Christian church welcomes all into the sanctuary. We will not turn anyone away or make people wear certain undergarments to be modest. If you haven't been baptized you are still welcomed.

Quote :

"that's the best part about mormonism. There is no hell."

Then what is the point of living such 'pure' lives?


And for all the people who say that all mormons they know are so wonderful, meet my roommate or a friend of mine from high school.



[Edited on February 25, 2007 at 2:33 PM. Reason : ]

2/25/2007 2:28:35 PM

And who the fuck takes communion with water?


Also, I kinda wish my ex had been excommunicated, I am really starting to believe this is what kept her away from me, they levied a threat against her.

2/25/2007 2:35:09 PM

Quote :

"f a girl gets pregnant before marriage the mormon church will excuminicate her."

not true. I just read the latest version of the CHI. She'll be disfellowshiped and encouraged to give the child up for adoption to either a parent, family member, or someone else .

Quote :

" Then what is the point of living such 'pure' lives?"

To live with god in the celestial kingdom.

Quote :

"And who the fuck takes communion with water?"

because joseph smith couldn't account for why alcohol was banned, but wine was used in the sacrament.

2/25/2007 2:37:37 PM

We use grape juice, the first time I had the water I bout spit it out.

2/25/2007 2:47:41 PM

Quote :

"We use grape juice, the first time I had the water I bout spit it out."

haha, you actually took the bread and water.

although, I have to say, the best part about preparing the sacrament was eating the extra pieces of bread.

2/25/2007 2:48:41 PM

Quote :

"If you claim to believe in christ, but also subscribe to a contradiction his teachings, you don't really believe in Christ, you're just living a lie."

The big problem I see with this is that we are putting a lot of faith in believing that we really know and understand Christ's teachings. We only have written history (as far as proof or documentation), and everybody knows written history can be rewritten, and was not necessarily accurate in the first place.

2/25/2007 2:59:00 PM

Quote :

"haha, you actually took the bread and water. although, I have to say, the best part about preparing the sacrament was eating the extra pieces of bread."

Was I not supposed to? I mean, at my church we have open communion.


Best time ever was when we had just done the deed beforehand and I didnt wash my hands so I had that condom grease on them and it smeared on the tray.

[Edited on February 25, 2007 at 3:03 PM. Reason : ]

2/25/2007 3:03:02 PM

Quote :

"Was I not supposed to? I mean, at my church we have open communion. "

technically not. In reality though, I stopped taking it. It was my act of defiance.

It is probably best that you did, other wise people would have gosipped about you two.

Quote :

"Best time ever was when we had just done the deed beforehand and I didnt wash my hands so I had that condom grease on them and it smeared on the tray. "

worry not, there is probably some lotion still on the priests hands when he broke it up from his pre sacrament masturbation fest.

[Edited on February 25, 2007 at 3:12 PM. Reason : .]

2/25/2007 3:12:03 PM

Man all this talk about communion gives me a craving for some jesus wafers. Anyone know where you can buy the jesus crackers they use at mass at places like catholic churches? I'd love to bring those to work and make little mini peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches out of them and say "mmmm, these are sacrilicious!"

Think this site is legitimate?

http://www.christianstuff.biz/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=RW70&Category_Code=cb

[Edited on February 25, 2007 at 3:36 PM. Reason : ]

2/25/2007 3:32:18 PM

Quote :

"We were engaged to be married, not married yet. Things were on track then this came out of the blue. Its weird, people basically forcasted this ending but I wouldnt believe. She has dreamed of a temple sealing all her life and has been drilled with their mantra so thats what she thinks she has to have to be happy, therefore I am not on the path to happiness for her."

You should watch the MTV show "Engaged and Underage". The episode tonight (i think it comes on at 9:30) deals with a Mormon girl marrying a guy that became Mormon b/c of the girl. His whole family could not go to the temple wedding b/c they were not Mormon. And the girl had dreamed of having a temple wedding all her life and wasn't going to change her mind. She was even against a ring ceremony so that his family could come.

2/26/2007 11:27:56 AM

I saw that, I dont think I can take watching it. Still trying to close those wounds she left.

2/26/2007 12:07:49 PM

Quote :

"jesus wafers"

Christ chex?

This thread makes me want to watch Orgazmo again.

Oh, and to be relevant, my high school crush was a hot mormon girl.
And three of my high school friends are on mormon mission trips now.
(not very close friends, but still, it's lame not seeing or hearing from them for 2 years)

3/8/2007 2:26:24 PM

^yeah ... it sucks to not see your friends for a few years ...

You should write them a letter if you really want to hear from them. Most people are too lazy to do it, but they would appreciate it.

BTW, you dont get excommunicated if you get pregnant as a mormon teen. Thats bogus. I am pretty sure that they encourage your parents to discuss the options of putting the kid up for adoption though.

3/8/2007 3:16:51 PM

Quote :

"^I don't think I'd derive any Mormon doctrine from "Saturday's Warrior," but yes... we believe in a pre-existence."

Haha. Saturday's Warrior. I still remember half the words to all the songs--haven't seen it in years.

This thread is hilarious. I love how those that aren't mormons like to say what I believe. I'm quite an open-minded mormon and not as active as I probably should be. I also married a non-member that I dated for a little over 4 years before we married in July. No one tried to pressure me out of it, in my family or church, and to top it off, he's black too (i'm white). Everyone loves my husband and has always treated him with the greatest respect and no one has tried to talk him into joining the church. Yes, you have hardcore families, but you do in any religion. I'm certainly not one of them and really don't know any that are. Most of them are wonderful people, but we have our disturbed ones too. We had quite a few "sluts" in my ward, one or two to get pregnant before they were married (and hmm, not excommunicated, can you believe that?). We have our share of drama.

This stuff is funny to read, keep it coming.

3/8/2007 5:25:57 PM