push 'em out

2/11/2008 7:04:41 PM

GOOD LUCK!!!

2/11/2008 7:05:41 PM

You know what the worst part about someone having kids is? It's all the stupid fucking stuff they tell you about the kid, like they're the first people ever to have a child (nothing against you guys personally, this is just something I dislike) and their kid is so fucking amazing because it just shit its pants for the first time, or because it picked its giant melon up off the ground on its own. Believe me, no one but you is amazed by your child. Odds are it's ugly as shit, it's not artistic, and it's sure as shit not some kind of baby genius.

But you know, congrats and all, just don't make your friends look at baby pictures or hear about every "incredible thing that xxxxx did yesterday."

2/11/2008 7:08:28 PM

will this be the first official TWW baby?

2/11/2008 7:09:30 PM

YAH GOTTA SEE THE BAHBAY

2/11/2008 7:09:46 PM

^^ nah there's plenty of parents on tdub already

2/11/2008 7:15:53 PM

A BAY-BAY!

2/11/2008 7:32:03 PM

Wooo!

Doesn't this make TWW baby #3 within as many months?

I didn't believe it before I had Silas, but you're going to forget all about the sucky parts of pregnancy and delivery shortly after seeing your baby. Mommy amnesia is mother nature's way of preserving the human race.

2/11/2008 8:03:32 PM

yay! can't wait for maya to make her appearance!

2/11/2008 8:34:44 PM

Quote :

"and their kid is so fucking amazing because it just shit its pants for the first time"

2/11/2008 8:38:55 PM

bttt?

2/12/2008 7:44:35 AM

Quote :

"I hope your snatch and asshole aren't ripped into one giant gaping septic mess while you scream, curse and push a human with a disproportionately huge head out of the opening. Enjoy puking through a surgical mask while trying to maintain eye contact with your wife while you watch the price of a new Ferrari come ripping out of Punchmonk. Yes, the miracle of life truly is a disgusting thing. "

hahahaha

2/12/2008 7:46:52 AM

Amna's doing well, contractions have been 2-4 minutes apart all night

2/12/2008 8:40:52 AM

imo, the waiting around seems to suck the most.

2/12/2008 8:41:43 AM

The ILL crew is proud of you and my mom's praying for you all.

Me and Chichi will be there when it's time for diapers.

2/12/2008 8:54:10 AM

push 'em out, shove 'em out, waaaaaaaaaaaaaay out!

/cosby

2/12/2008 9:12:44 AM

april 1st, is this thing coming a bit late?

2/12/2008 9:14:13 AM

the first iteration was an april fools joke


THEY JINXED THEMSELVES HARD

2/12/2008 9:16:33 AM

<--- d'oh



and i forgot, didn't qntmfred set up a tww account for this baby?


[Edited on February 12, 2008 at 9:19 AM. Reason : baby sounds better than guy]

2/12/2008 9:18:42 AM

prlly

2/12/2008 9:22:46 AM

i'll give you $5 if you name it megatron

doesn't even have to be the first name, could be the middle if you'd like

plus, you'd have a cool story to tell them when they grow up

2/12/2008 9:28:08 AM

If any of you guys have seen your girl give birth, what did you think the placenta looked like? I thought it looked like a 12 oz. Ribeye. I couldn't believe all of the blood loss....

My wife got called out by the doctor because he could tell she was trying not to poop when she was pushing. She pushed 9 total times and pooed twice.

2/12/2008 10:18:18 AM

that's the part they always leave out in the movies haha

2/12/2008 10:19:56 AM

lucky for me there was no poop involved in my wife's labor.

2/12/2008 10:20:27 AM

fucking gross man

If the lady thats having my baby takes a dump whilst she delivers, then theres no way I could ever fuck her again

[Edited on February 12, 2008 at 10:23 AM. Reason : but what do they do with the poop? Scoop it up and throw it in the garbage?]

2/12/2008 10:22:34 AM

dude it happens...

its part of birth.

just hope nothing rips and the holes connect.

2/12/2008 10:23:48 AM

^^The hospital bed has a hole near the crotch and the girl lays over it. They put a hazmat bag underneath-you only see the log for a split second. My wife's looked like a hickory chip.

2/12/2008 10:29:39 AM

theres no way in hell im ever watching that.

2/12/2008 10:30:56 AM

eh, it happens

for those of you that are grossed out by it, consider the fact that you were probably born into a pile of shit too. The doctor probably smeared a little bit on your upper lip too....

2/12/2008 10:32:58 AM

I held her leg up while she pushed. I looked for a split second and then saw the crowning. Then I couldn't stop looking-it was like gawking at a multi-fatality car crash.

2/12/2008 10:33:10 AM

^^probably so, but that doesnt mean i want to watch it again.

2/12/2008 10:35:13 AM

as a side note, I plan on being the over jealous husband that punches the doctor in the eye for looking at my wife's snatch.

2/12/2008 10:35:38 AM

My wife had her snatch cut a little and sprayed the docs glasses with blood. Serves him right.

[Edited on February 12, 2008 at 10:37 AM. Reason : with blood lol]

2/12/2008 10:36:40 AM

hahahahahahahahahaha

2/12/2008 10:37:26 AM

yikes. how long did that take to heal?

2/12/2008 10:38:35 AM

I thought you meant sprayed like Cytherea lol

If I was a girl I'd probaly go C-section all the way

2/12/2008 10:39:30 AM

HELL YEAH

VAGINAL BIRTHS ARE JUST NOT THE WAY TO GO

CAN YOU REQUEST A C-SECTION FROM THE GET GO

2/12/2008 10:40:05 AM

What would really be baller was if you could train the fetus to just bust out on his own, Alien-style

That way you get to see something really cool

Yeah, the woman dies as a result, but wouldn't it be worth it?

[Edited on February 12, 2008 at 10:42 AM. Reason : x]

2/12/2008 10:41:31 AM

Yup, the only way I'm having a kid is if my trophy wife goes C-section or via surrogate mother.

2/12/2008 10:44:13 AM

i think we need to do some research at pure gold

those girls all seem to be pros at getting blessed for having a c-section

[Edited on February 12, 2008 at 10:46 AM. Reason : e]

2/12/2008 10:46:41 AM

sexy c-scars, mmmm

2/12/2008 10:47:24 AM

The little cut was less than an inch long. They cut it so it doesn't tear during birth.

From what I have heard about C-sections, as a dude you probably don't want to have to deal with it. It is minor surgery, but the woman can't do anything for like two weeks because they don't want to agitate the wound. They can't climb stairs or ride in a car and stuff and need more attention than they arguably deserve.

2/12/2008 10:51:06 AM

and that means you'll be taking all the care of baby too. yeah, go ahead and push that thing out of your vag. then get your energy back, go to the gym, tighten that thing back up, and suck my dick






jk womenz

2/12/2008 10:53:37 AM

^^I had a C-section for my son 4 weeks ago and I was riding in a car and climbing stairs 4 days later. I didn't even have my prescription pain killers filled.

Once you get past the first two days, a C-section is not that bad. At least I didn't have my crotch stitched up or hemorrhoids from a long labor. And within two weeks, I felt like nothing had ever hapened other than being a little more easily tired out.

I think that some women are just wimps about healing from a C-section. I didn't have the luxury of laying around, popping pain pills, and whining about how much I hurt.

2/12/2008 12:35:34 PM

I think it depends on the woman. A lot of women won't do C-Sections unless absolutely necessary. My wife wanted to do the vag delivery, gave birth at 7:15 PM and and we went home by 1:00 PM the next day. She took no pills and was walking the dogs the next day.

2/12/2008 12:39:07 PM

i dont understand why women would choose to have a c-section. doesn't it leave a big scar? i don't want an ugly scar when i'm wearing a bathing suit. i'd rather deal with short-term pain.

2/12/2008 12:49:40 PM

http://www.weirdasianews.com/2007/12/11/baby-accidentally-flushed-at-birth/

2/12/2008 12:55:42 PM

Quote :

"For real u are funny as hell. I would love to talk to u. email me sometime socalprncess@gmail.com. i need a madhookup too. Hit me up."

^


.....wtf

2/12/2008 1:11:35 PM

I NO RITE

I love this dude's comment:

Quote :

"People seem to think that she did this by accident. You would think a woman would know the difference between taking a .5 pound dump out her ass, and a 7 pound dump out of her vagina. I would expect that it would feel different, no? Like try to imagine this as if she really didnt know she was giving birth… Woman: “OMG! I never had to shit so bad! It almost feels like its coming out of my vagina!” 2 hours later… Woman: Woah Mamma! Now thats how you take a shit! It was so big that it feels as if my Vagina is torn! I am not even slightly curious at looking at the size of this dump, or why there is so much blood and mucus on the toilet paper after I wipe, or why there is a long cord coming out of me as I put my pants on, or why my shit seems to be crying. I am just going to blindly flush now……….. WHOOPS! HELP! Yeah, that seems possible…"

2/12/2008 1:13:57 PM

GOOD LUCK!!

2/12/2008 1:21:23 PM