^You got sent out for that? That isn't exactly fair... that kinda stuff happens randomly all the time to middle/high school kids.

11/25/2008 2:51:08 PM

Quote :

"that kinda stuff happens randomly all the time to middle/high school kids everyone."

11/25/2008 2:55:06 PM

You belt it, man

You belt it

11/25/2008 2:56:26 PM

9th grade honors biology teacher taught us how to make moonshine. It was actually the very first thing we did in biology, iirc. Each group had an empty milk jug, packet of yeast, molasses and some other stuff I don't remember. We checked on it every day until "it smelled right" and then distilled it several times using a bunsen burner, beakers, condensation tube, etc.

All this with lectures everyday on fermentation, lab equipment/procedures, etc. We also never knew what happened to all that moonshine after we made it though, I think he said he had to test the alcohol content.

Dude was cool though, he'd fill up an entire chalkboard with notes, then wash it with a wet rag and read a book/let us goof off until the board dried. Although, we only had 4 classes/semester so we had ~1.5 hours per class, so this was necessary and should have been a rule in every class.

[Edited on November 25, 2008 at 2:59 PM. Reason : ]

11/25/2008 2:58:23 PM

8th grade

We had a warning system set in place for talking, acting up in class, etc. 3 warnings and you went to in school suspension for the remainder of that class. During the course of one day, I managed to get sent out of 3 different classes. I was wearing my Dennis Rodman jersey that day and proceeded to take it off and throw it into the "crowd" much like a Dennis Rodman ejection during each trip out of the classroom, which earned me a couple more class periods in the slammer as well.

11/25/2008 3:00:27 PM

if there wasn't any corn, then it wasn't true "moonshine"

[Edited on November 25, 2008 at 3:03 PM. Reason : nnnnnnnnnnnnn]

11/25/2008 3:02:57 PM

If true, that Dennis Rodman story is classic




And about boners, you gotta either "belt it" as stated by my esteemed colleague Slave Famous or some people call it the North Pull

Either way, you risk a just-the-tip sticking out the top, which would be epic for a school story

Big risk wearing gym shorts or sweatpants around those years

[Edited on November 25, 2008 at 3:19 PM. Reason : fhjgvhj]

11/25/2008 3:16:04 PM

My junior year, a group of people with access to the media center (it controlled the slides, video, etc that came onto the two projection screens in our cafeteria) snuck in and put on a hardcore interracial porno. This was all during breakfast before school started..

.. It took over seven or eight minutes for a cafeteria worker, teacher, or adult to notice or be tipped off.

[Edited on November 25, 2008 at 3:20 PM. Reason : .]

11/25/2008 3:17:32 PM

Classic indeed

Only way to top it would be to strip all the way like in Juwanna Mann

11/25/2008 3:17:36 PM

It's legit, I can't remember if Nighthawk was in my classes in that grade or not, but if so he can verify.

11/25/2008 3:25:36 PM

12th grade geography class, someone dared me to stick a foil gum wrapper into a power outlet, so i did, pushed it in with my shoe. it made a loud "POP" and it made a small flare. it smelled like smoke the rest of the class. end of the period the teacher called up all the class trouble makers and asked who did it, i immediately confessed. so he led me down the hall (walk of shame/glory) to 2104 (the discipline room). they made me call my mom and tell her what she did, she was like "oh you did? haha whatever", so they ended up giving me 2 days of lunch detention and said i'd have to pay for a new outlet replacement (never had to).

11/25/2008 3:28:27 PM

I remember my 7th grade history teacher only had 3/4ths of one lung left after surgery to remove cancer. she had asthma pretty bad too. anyway, one day someone sprayed some pepper spray in her room. she almost died from not being able to breathe. she cancelled class that day, and we all went outside to play that day while the room aired out.

11/25/2008 3:34:50 PM

I had a teacher for ap us history that had to have been a stoner. One time we walked into his room and he had pushed a few desks together in a line and he was laying down on top of them.

Then another day, we caught him just laughing at his Beziers screen saver

11/25/2008 4:01:26 PM

In 4th or 5th grade there was this kid named Lionel in my class who never had to do homework and got different versions of tests and stuff. It always pissed me off he got all these special privileges, and I would pick on him constantly, at one point until he cried. It never occurred that the reason he got all the privileges was because he was actually learning disabled, and really was extremely stupid...

Anyway, at the end of that year, Lionel came up to me and admitted that he had always looked up to me and that he "wanted to be like me" (i'm pretty sure he used this exact phrase) because I was one of the smart kids in the class. I don't remember my response, but I do know that still to this day, I really feel like the worst kind of asshole for picking on him and making him cry, and would make up for it if I knew how.

However, in 7th grade, there was another kid named Chris B., who was likewise extremely stupid but they put him in the AG class for some reason (I guess it was an experiment or something), and I picked on him too (he happened to be fat AND dumb) to the point he cried. I never felt sorry about him though, because he was extremely arrogant, and deserved all my insults.

[Edited on November 25, 2008 at 5:43 PM. Reason : ]

11/25/2008 5:42:51 PM

11/25/2008 5:46:35 PM

moar

11/25/2008 10:10:39 PM

This thread is epic. I'll dig into the memory banks and post a few gems from my formative years later on in the thread.

100/10 A+++

11/25/2008 11:23:19 PM

i liked that time i counted to 12,345,678!

11/25/2008 11:23:44 PM

I was a very boring person in grade school I remember funny things other people did though.

11/25/2008 11:32:36 PM

Quote :

"this kid was trying to give me a shoe weggie one time under the lunch table"

wtf is a shoe wedgie?




when i was in 7th grade i had to stay behind for a feild trip b/c i had gotten into trouble the quarter. so our teacher leaves the room and naturally people are cutting up and what not. well this guy starts talking trash a/b me and saying that things had happened b/t us (vomit). anyways, so our desks are in one big circle, i hear this and i march from my desk to his, slap the shit out of him, and turn around and walk back to my desk. everyone in there (mostly boys) is like ooooooooooo and stunned. our teacher hears and walk in and is like "what just happened in here?' and this one kid is like "candace just slapped the beJEZUS out of Terry." So he calls me out to the hall and asks if its true, and i say "yes sir it is." well, he says good job and reaches out his hand for me to shake. it was awesome.

11/26/2008 12:15:32 AM

when i was in 8th grade this 7th grade mexican girl offered to blow me. She had a rep for being a slut so I declined.


in high school, some kids i knew put some laxative in this freshmans drink. The kid ended up shitting himself because the teacher wouldnt let him go to the bathroom.

11/26/2008 12:21:37 AM

in second grade me and this girl were having a competition to see whose pencil was sharper. she sharpened hers and pushed it on my index finger. not going to be bested by some future housewife, i promptly sharpened mine to a needle point, and did the same to her. i drew blood, and was sent home for the day. the next day she kissed me on the cheek. stupid b!tches.

also, senior year my buddy shit all in his pants on a band bus trip. it was epic.

11/26/2008 1:12:34 AM

In 9th grade, we had this hot-assed substitute for a week and a half. she left her purse in the room one day after class and I took it to the bathroom, jizzed into it, and put it back.

11/26/2008 1:22:27 AM

oh man

too many to type out right now, i gotta get to bed

i'll start a few though

in 9th grade spanish 1, we had the most fucking awesome teacher ever. she was crazy as fuck and either liked you a lot or hated the shit out of you. luckily she liked my group of friends and me. this class was first period, we always used to roll in like an hour late with breakfast from somewhere, but we'd always bring her some and she'd start chowing down on it while she was teaching and we were eating our breakfast too, everyone else looked at us like "wtf?"

same teacher, she said that if you had an A or better in the class you didnt have to take the final, well i think i had like an 80 something because i was never there, i didn't have to take the final and i ended up with a 95, haha... many more stories from this class

10th grade apush, we had it as a 7am class (0 period)... teacher was also the football coach and gave all the athletes "preferential treatment" (haha)... he'd do shit like curve our exams crazy amounts, give us a "practice exam" the night before that was the same as the actual exam... it was awesome... he would also frequently peace out and go play golf in the morning, he had most of our cell phone numbers so he would just send out a massive text message to all of us that he was playin golf so not to bother to come, so we all got to sleep late while everyone else went for nothing, haha

10th grade spanish 3, our teacher was this pretentious fatass who thought she was the shit... she wore shit like the chanel logo bracelet and earrings and shit, and she always wore black... every single fucking day... she also didn't really know spanish very well and would make mistakes all the time... two of my friends at the time were fucking pissed at her because she failed them the previous semester so they posted her house (with pictures) up on a real estate site and put her school # as the contact number so her phone didn't stop ringing for like a week... they also posted her picture and shit on a dating website and put her school # as the contact number... same thing... shit was hilarious, they got expelled for it though.

same teacher in the same class - one of my really good friends and i knew spanish reaaaally well... we started taking turns calling out her mistakes in front of the class, we'd just talk louder than she was... also, she would teach something and then all the ppl around us would ask us how it really was supposed to work, she got really pissed off and told us to stop talking, my friend bitched her out, i forgot what she (my friend) said but it was fucking hilarious... and during the final exam, she didn't bother to show up (we later found out she was drunk as shit) so one of the other spanish teachers came in (who liked me) and proctored the exam... bethany (aforementioned friend) and i kept finding mistakes in like every other question... and finally the other teacher gave us a red pen and said to mark every mistake we found... it ended up being around half the questions. when we got our exams back, they had been curved like 47 points because of that...

lots more, i'll type them out later

11/26/2008 2:04:47 AM

this one is just for evan

I had one teacher who always put his name on these study guide packets like in the top lefthand corner....and one time for whatever reason I was in a bad mood before class one day and I wrote "is a fagot" directly after his name....and when he returned the worksheet he circled "fagot" and told me that I spelled it incorrectly....I lolled on the inside

11/26/2008 2:11:21 AM

In 3rd grade, I was wearing a sweatshirt and got hot in the room and wanted to take it off. I was sitting in front of the overhead, which was in use, and I didn't want to get in the way so raised my hand and asked if I could get up to move and take it off. Teacher said NO. So when she wasn't looking I shot her the bird. Most of the other kids laughed, except for the one guy who had to tell on me. Got sent to the office and the parents got a phone call...

Same class different day- after lunch we usually got to go outside to the playground for a little while. Apparently we were behind in class and weren't going to get to go. So we're all out in the hall when she tells us this and I blurt out "this sucks!" Apparently I shouldn't have said that, and she flipped out and made me go to the office and tell the principal what I'd done. I didn't understand what was so wrong. My mama ended up coming to the school and chewing out the teacher and principal for acting so dumb over the situation.

It's funny though, I still see this teacher around town when I'm at home. She's fairly cool now.

11/28/2008 1:18:54 AM

When I was in kindergarden my art teacher (old man) used to always give all the kids hugs on their way out of the room. Thinking back on it thats really sketch and pedophileish. But anyways, one day he had a fancy new art smock that he was showing off. When I went to leave the classroom I had put my hand under a table and apparently got paint on my finger, when I gave him a hug I got paint on his art smock and he flipped out. I got sent to the principals office and they called my parents.

11/28/2008 9:34:19 AM

Quote :

"In 9th grade, we had this hot-assed substitute for a week and a half. she left her purse in the room one day after class and I took it to the bathroom, jizzed into it, and put it back"

Wins

11/28/2008 10:01:59 AM

^was that DNL? I haven't read the thread yet

11/28/2008 10:08:56 AM

After the columbine shooting, the local news interviewed my friends and I in the parking lot after HS, they asked if we thought a school shooting would happen at our school and if we felt safe. We were like "if some kid treid to shoot up the school, he wouldnt make it too far before other students returned fire, so we feel pretty safe!" The reporter just starred at us like we were crazy. That was not on the 6 o'clock news.

11/28/2008 10:49:32 AM

my brothers senior year, his class did an amazing prank. see their school was in the middle of bfe and almost everyone there either had a farm or worked on one. so one weekend my brother and some of his friends go to this guys house in the middle of the night and steal 4 cows and let them loose in the school. they chased the cows up the stairs up to the third floor and left enough food and water for the cows until class came back in session on monday. well heres the nifty thing about cows, they will go up stairs but they wont come back down. so when the staff comes in on monday they are overwhelmed by the stench of cow shit and realize there are cows in the fucking school. they had to call animal control to tranquilize the cows and carry them down the stairs and return them to the guys farm. it was epic.

11/28/2008 4:31:01 PM

Quote :

"I got paint on his art smock and he flipped out."

Isn't that the point of a smock

11/28/2008 8:22:29 PM

Quote :

"In 9th grade, we had this hot-assed substitute for a week and a half. she left her purse in the room one day after class and I took it to the bathroom, jizzed into it, and put it back. "

11/28/2008 8:25:40 PM

Quote :

"However, in 7th grade, there was another kid named Chris B., who was likewise extremely stupid but they put him in the AG class for some reason (I guess it was an experiment or something), and I picked on him too (he happened to be fat AND dumb) to the point he cried. I never felt sorry about him though, because he was extremely arrogant, and deserved all my insults."

oh lord jesus, you just reminded me

they put some of the dumb (they called them Chapter 1) kids in our AG homerooms to better acclimatize them to other people in 7th grade.

I had this one kid named Nikee (no shit, his name was Nike + an extra e) Grantham.

7th grade was when Notorious B.I.G. first got popular, and when Ready to Die came out. Around that time, some of the kids started calling Nikee "Zeus" - I cant recall exactly why.

Nikee came up with this song, on the fly, sung to "Big Poppa":


I hate it when you call me big Zeus-y
throw your hands in the air
and slap the dummy


needless to say, that kid was called Zeus until graduation day

11/28/2008 9:29:49 PM

Lol, I didn't go to a single friday class in the second crappy spanish teacher that evan talked about...

For some reason she LOVED me. Other people would have their parents called for being slightly tardy while I was sitting on the beach in a bikini starting my weekend early.


We killed a substitute teacher. He was the band sub and we were so horrible (who really only gets 1 sub for 90 kids though, seriously) that he walked out of the room and the vice principal came and sat with us the rest of the class. An hour later he had a heart attack and died. Almost the whole band went to his funeral.

There are a lot of band/theatre shinanagins, but I don't want to be that guy.

11/28/2008 9:30:09 PM

^ a band with discipline, that's who

our director would've killed us if we had acted like jackasses with a sub

hell, our drum majors would've done it before the director even heard about it

11/28/2008 10:43:42 PM

One time in weightlifting, we played catch with an anorexic girl. We quit after about ten minutes of throwing her.

True story.

12/3/2008 7:57:27 PM

In 6th grade i was sitting at lunch and some weird girl comes and sits beside me with her riptide rush Gatorade. I was crammed in talking to my buddies and she starts throwing the bottle up and catching it. I knew she was a spaz so i told her to stop since the bottle was 3/4 of the way full and i didn't want to wear any of it.

Well, despite my wisdom she doesn't stop, drops the bottle and the top catches the side of the table. Next thing i know, my balls are floating in 14 oz of Gatorade, pants and underwear soaked and sticky. So i was pretty pissed and called her a stupid bitch, but i never got up. She got the mop and cleaned up the floor. I was still furious.

She came back and sat down, beside me. I noticed i still had 1/2 of my Fruit punch Gatorade left. So i dumped it all over her white pants. It looked like she had a massive period.
I Never got in trouble.

True story.

12/4/2008 1:03:53 PM

That is the best story ever.

12/4/2008 1:06:47 PM

she never talked to me again.

12/4/2008 1:12:46 PM

Senior year in weightlifting, some days we'd get a free day or finish up early and get the rest of the class period to do whatever in the gym. Well most of our free days were usually spent playing "Headshots" in the small auxiliary gym. This game was essentially dodgeball with anywhere from 10 to 40 or more players (ref'd by the PE teachers mind you) but if you hit a person in the head/face then everyone who was out on your team got to come back in (unlike if you caught a ball w/o a bounce and got to bring 1 person back). We used anywhere from 2 to 6 these thick foam kind of balls, not like the red rubber kickball ones, but they would still hurt nonetheless. Well sometimes when the other gym classes like freshman PE or Rec. Sports had a free day some of them would join in (I played pretty much every chance I got from freshman year on).

On this particular day, a big black girl named Stormy decided to play. Stormy was not a nickname, it was her actual name and she definitely lived up to it, but I digress. She was the first and probably last girl to attempt to play the game. Anyways, there were 4 or 5 people left on my team and 2 other people left on the other team, including her. Well one of my teammates got her out just as I was throwing a ball at the other kids face. It was like slow motion, my ball sailing directly towards the other kid’s face and she, running to the sideline, came directly between him and the ball and happened to be about the same height... BAM! It laid her ass out and she ended up on her back, out cold. The entire gym was empty before the PE teacher even got to her and I was standing there in shock of what just happened. I walked over to the teacher holding Stormy’s bright-red face in her (yes this PE teacher was a woman) lap trying to wake her up. The teacher looked at me and said, “Get the hell out while you can,” or something along those lines. Stormy never even knew who threw the ball that hit her and the teacher wouldn’t tell her who did. I still ended up apologizing to her and telling her I did it. I think she got sent off to a remedial school or jail a few weeks later after she beat some girls face to a bloody pulp during that same class.

12/4/2008 2:00:57 PM

You guys had fun in school.

12/4/2008 2:03:40 PM

in high school the soccer team used to get hazed, pretty badly.

we would ride the bus with the seniors when we were freshman for a few games that were far away. seniors sat in the back freshman in the front. if you got a tap on the shoulder it meant go to the back, and the senior who tapped your shoulder sat in your seat, and you went to the back and sat where they were sitting. they would take cleats, put them in the bottom of long soccer socks, and beat the fuck out of you with them if you smiled, laughed, talked or moved, but really everyone got the shit beat out of them in the back. one kid got a wedgie and they held him up high so his head popped out of the emergency exit hatch on the ceiling of the bus. sometimes someone would piss in a huge gatorade bottle and screw the cap on very loosely, then they would throw it to the front so that when it landed piss would go everywhere, like a piss grenade. at the time i was probably scared but looking back on it, it was fucking hilarious.

[Edited on December 4, 2008 at 2:08 PM. Reason : .]

12/4/2008 2:07:14 PM