Quote :

"whod you go through?"

thad and sarah lawrence (2+3 photography: http://2and3photography.com/), though since sarah had their baby with her, she ran the photobooth and sarah's sister krista (km photography: http://kmurrayphotography.com/) was our second photographer

it wasn't very expensive and it served as our favors...people LOVED it

[Edited on February 26, 2011 at 7:32 PM. Reason : .]

2/26/2011 7:31:20 PM

we're going through shutterbooth

pretty much the same reasons that you did it...we want to keep a copy of the pics to serve as a "guestbook" of sorts, and (as most people know we are obsessed with camera and photos in general) AND for favors.

it just worked out.


im glad to hear that its a good investment

2/26/2011 8:28:02 PM

^^ I think that I've mentioned this before but I went to HS with Sarah, we were friends back in the day but lost contact over the years but the occasional fb message.

2/27/2011 3:24:11 AM

so. it's pretty much decided....
our wedding party consists of three people.


my attendants:
robert (my bro) is man of honor
ariel (my cousin) is maid of honor

cody's:
kelsey (his sister): is best woman


and thats it.
it's not even but we dont care.
we talked abotu it and we feel dumb asking someone just to make the numbers even.
we have all we need for the party.

my bros gonna be pimp escorting two ladies down the isle

2/27/2011 8:55:37 AM

^^ you did...we've actually kept in contact with krista since she likes to backpack and camp

2/27/2011 9:08:22 AM

Divababy, we're going with Michael Moss Photography.
http://michaelmoss.com/blog/

Samwise, I have a matching vase to your goblets if you'd like to borrow it! We'll be using it on our cake/dessert table in our wedding in October. It may look nice on your sweetheart table or wherever you'll be toasting!

2/27/2011 9:23:19 AM

^holy crap that is GORGEOUS!

2/27/2011 9:37:03 AM

^2 I would LOVE to borrow that!!! I'm collecting/borrowing all different types of vases so that would be fantastic thanks!!

[Edited on February 27, 2011 at 1:16 PM. Reason : .]

2/27/2011 1:15:40 PM

The bf and I have been seriously talking about marriage. Last night he started talking about what our wedding would be like. I started crying, and not good tears. I'm excited at the thought of being his wife. But the thought of an actual wedding scares me so much. Ideally, I'd want to just do it at the courthouse and maybe have a casual get-together with friends to celebrate ... Like a BBQ or pig pickin in the backyard. Unfortunately, I think he wants something a little bigger. And the thought of that gives me severe anxiety.

So, anyone else dealing with a disconnect between what the bride wants and what the groom wants? How does one find a happy compromise?

Also, for brides who deal with social anxiety, how do you deal with wedding day anxiety? I may need Xanax to get through a wedding with more than 6 people. The idea of a wedding is terrifying.

Also terrifying: the price tag. What are y'all spending on your weddings?

2/28/2011 12:02:40 AM

Quote :

"I'd want to just do it at the courthouse and maybe have a casual get-together with friends to celebrate ... Like a BBQ or pig pickin in the backyard."

i wouldn't say this was my "ideal" situation, but i suggested it pretty heavily for the same reasons you probably want it...cheaper, easier, more relaxed, smaller crowd

my wife's family is all local, though, and aside from the fact that i think she wanted a "traditional" wedding, it wouldn't have gone over well had we only had a small crowd...our wedding was 200 guests

Quote :

"So, anyone else dealing with a disconnect between what the bride wants and what the groom wants? How does one find a happy compromise?"

fwiw, i absolutely loved our wedding and, despite my original thoughts, i would do it over again in exactly the same way...i don't know what makes you the most anxious (being the center of attention for so many people?), but i don't think it would be as overwhelming as you might think...and it really was awesome to have so many people there because they ARE all of friends and family...we got some great pictures and video that we'll always treasure and since most of my family lives halfway across the country, that's actually pretty important to me (now, anyway...i didn't think about it until it actually happened)

Quote :

"Also terrifying: the price tag. What are y'all spending on your weddings?"

i think you'd be surprised how much this varies...i read somewhere that the average wedding cost in raleigh is $25k, which is ridiculous...obviously, it all depends on what you want, how much of it you want, and where you want it, but there are a lot of folks here that are doing (what sounds like will be) a great wedding for $8-10k when it's all said and done (and there are more than are doing it even cheaper)

great wedding != expensive wedding

for example, if you have an early afternoon wedding, your reception could consist of hors d'oeuvres instead of a full meal...every one i've been to that was like that was great...skipping the alcohol will significantly cut down on your cost, but you could also supply some $2/3-buck chuck and a keg for pretty cheap (if you're at a place that will allow you to bring your own alcohol)

instead of a DJ, rent or borrow some decent speakers/mic and use a computer or an ipod with a trusted friend who will be responsible for checking up on it now and then

instead of a professional photographer, pass out disposable cameras to the guests and have them take pictures throughout the event (you could have bridal/engagement portraits done separately for about $250 if you wanted some formals before or afterward)...you likely have a friend or two who has a DSLR and would be honored to be your "official" photographer for free

personally, once you have the biggest decision down (deciding to get married), the rest is pretty easy (and, fwiw, i was an integral part of planning our wedding...i just didn't sit back and let/make my wife do it all)...if he wants a big(-ish) wedding and you want a courthouse, try meeting in the middle with a smaller wedding of just close friends and family OR get married at the courthouse with immediate family and friends and then have a faux ceremony and/or reception for everyone else

one of the best weddings i went to was down in charleston...friends rented a huge beach house and got married on the beach in december (off-season, so really cheap and still warm)...afterward, we had the reception (50 people, tops) in the house with food provided by the mothers/grandmothers/aunts...the wedding party all stayed in the house and everyone else just had hotel rooms 10-15 minutes away...incredibly cheap for the couple, beautiful wedding, and you limit how many people can/will come because of the location

[Edited on February 28, 2011 at 8:14 AM. Reason : .]

2/28/2011 8:09:56 AM

For those interested in a photobooth, check out one of today's groupons: http://www.groupon.com/deals/magnolia-photo-booth-raleigh

2/28/2011 8:14:40 AM

^ that's not too bad...our photobooth was significantly less than that, but that was probably because our photographers were the ones to set it up, they didn't have any props, and we didn't get a hardcover book of all the pictures...also, ours was only offered for 3 hours

2/28/2011 8:18:09 AM

If anyone wants to go to the Cary Magazine Elegant Weddings Gala on March 10, put in code CMAGGUEST at https://www.signup4.net/Public/ap.aspx?EID=ELEG11E and you can get in free. Just don't enter CC info and it'll apply the code when you hit register. You can do multiple people, but you have to register each one separately instead of hitting a higher number of tickets at the top.

2/28/2011 9:43:49 AM

Just purchased our tickets for the honeymoon, two tickets to Reykjavik for 562$ each

2/28/2011 10:05:43 AM

Quote :

"instead of a professional photographer, pass out disposable cameras to the guests and have them take pictures throughout the event (you could have bridal/engagement portraits done separately for about $250 if you wanted some formals before or afterward)...you likely have a friend or two who has a DSLR and would be honored to be your "official" photographer for free "

I would advise against this unless you really don't care about pictures. Pictures from disposable cameras can be really crappy...and you may have some guests who take pictures of random things (e.g., my brother used the whole roll on taking pictures of one friend)...and you still have to pay for all of the pictures, regardless of if they're blurry, dark, etc. Pictures are the best memory you'll have from your wedding and you don't want to skimp on them. Even "hiring" a friend to take pictures won't be the same as having really nice, professional pictures. Look around for deals (i.e., Groupon, LivingSocial, WeddingChannel Deals) and even try Craigslist. I found our photographer on there. Only consider photographers with a portfolio online and references you can contact. You may also want to try a bridal expo. We "won" a free engagement session with an 8 x 10, even though I'm sure anyone who entered with that vendor won, too. Regardless, we saved lots of money that way.

2/28/2011 10:19:24 AM

^ oh, i agree with you completely...pictures were by far the single most important aspect of our wedding and we met with more than a dozen before choosing our photographers

some people don't care, though, and some amateurs can do a decent job...decent enough to pass on the cost of a professional

we also had a laptop and card reader set up so that people could copy their digital pictures before they left, which was awesome...so you could probably skip the disposables and do that, instead

[Edited on February 28, 2011 at 10:26 AM. Reason : .]

2/28/2011 10:23:01 AM

I've heard so many sob stories from personal friends when they decided to completely cheap out on their photography that I knew I needed to set aside some cash for the photos. Not saying you have to spend thousands of dollars, but you do need to spend time doing lots of research I think.

Hell, one girl I know spent $3000 having an acquaintance of hers take photos and they came out TERRIBLE. I felt so bad for her but she just assumed because the guy worked as a newspaper photographer he could do wedding photography too

2/28/2011 10:41:04 AM

yeah, i went to a friend's wedding where they had cheaped out on "professional" photographer...i had brought along my DSLR and took pictures and gave them to the couple afterward...they said they were so much better than what they got from their pro...save for a couple of formal pictures, all of those hanging up in their house were ones i took

i'm not at all saying i'm great, because i'm not...just pointing out that a cheap isn't always best

that said, some people REALLY don't care and the photographer is just an expense they don't want

2/28/2011 11:02:01 AM

Quote :

"one of the best weddings i went to was down in charleston...friends rented a huge beach house and got married on the beach in december (off-season, so really cheap and still warm)...afterward, we had the reception (50 people, tops) in the house with food provided by the mothers/grandmothers/aunts...the wedding party all stayed in the house and everyone else just had hotel rooms 10-15 minutes away...incredibly cheap for the couple, beautiful wedding, and you limit how many people can/will come because of the location"

This idea is awesome! Ceremony followed by oyster roast and fish fry on beach. That could be really nice!

2/28/2011 11:43:34 AM

Quote :

"we also had a laptop and card reader set up so that people could copy their digital pictures before they left, which was awesome...so you could probably skip the disposables and do that, instead"

I really like this idea!

For our guest book, I'm having everyone get their pictures taken and then printing them out using my Polaroid Pogo printer. I bought an Adesso guest book specifically made for pogo prints and then they're going to sign below their pic. I just always thought regular guest books where people just sign their name is such a waste. I wouldn't care to look at that over and over again.

2/28/2011 11:50:39 AM

^We are doing something very similar. We bought a polaroid camera (well newer type of polaroid.. cant think of the name) and are going to just have everyone take pictures as they come in and sign in the guest book.

2/28/2011 11:57:14 AM

Quote :

"This idea is awesome! Ceremony followed by oyster roast and fish fry on beach. That could be really nice!"

it WAS really nice...i was very impressed

they also had a "free" photographer - a student they found on craigslist who wanted to build up her portfolio...they ended up paying her a little something as a gift of thanks, anyway, but since their wedding was so short and their reception so small, she didn't stay but a couple of hours...her pictures were great

2/28/2011 12:34:45 PM

that does sound freaking awesome



and fwiw if you do things your way and that you like and just make sure the guests are comfortable it's gonna be awesome.
i mean you are surrounded by family and friends!


(ps i<3:kisses:...you are going to make a KICKASS bride one day)



[Edited on February 28, 2011 at 3:03 PM. Reason : ^i dont think ive ever seen any of your pics. im curious ]

2/28/2011 2:53:40 PM

sorry for the double post but i have a question....

i will not be changing my name (no, its not a feminist thing )

but....


1. should we be announced as Mr and Mrs cody clark shipman? i dont care (like a i said this decision is based on apathy more than anything ahahaha) but i feel really awkward to be announced as mr cody shipman and mrs joie lubbers...it just seems odd. i dont mind AT ALL being announced as the first one, but it seems just as odd to me because i wont be taking his name. maybe they can just say "cody and joie"

2. checks. for those of you who are already married, did you ever get a check with your new name written on it. if we get a check with "Joie Shipman" how would i approach this?



i guess it basically boils down to i feel like we should let the guests know that im not (for present/cards/ checks etc) but im not sure how to go about doin that.


maybe im worrying too much about nothing though...

[Edited on February 28, 2011 at 3:22 PM. Reason : dfrdf]

2/28/2011 3:22:00 PM

I stalled for the longest time before changing my name (almost 2 years after getting married)

I signed up for http://www.missnowmrs.com. It's an online service that helps you change your name after you get married. You fill out a couple forms and from those forms, it fills out the DMV forms, the SS forms, the passport forms etc. Tells you where to mail them and all the rules and such. It was like $35.

I ran into problems after my wedding b/c people started to send me checks made out to "Samantha Leach" and I hadn't changed my name yet. Luckily, I went to the bank and explained the situation to them and they told me that I just needed to sign my maiden name and my new name and I could deposit the check. It might not be the same policy everywhere and I know the people who work at my bank pretty well (its the same bank that my work uses)

I think for the reception, its ok to be introduced as "Mr. & Mrs. Cody Clark Shipman".

I still have a few things to change my name on (my AMEX card and my Passport being the two big ones) but once I started changing my name with Social Security, everything else was pretty easy. I would suggest not going to the SS office b/c its always a zoo and just mailing everything in. I was able to change my name on my Driver's License and my voter's card at the same time. I was able to request a new Citi Bank card, VS card and Kohl's card online. The only one that required any sort of proof of marriage was AMEX and I lost the form they sent me and I've been too lazy to ask for another one.

2/28/2011 3:32:29 PM

my wife did change her name (almost 6 months later), but we both didn't want to be announced as mr. and mrs. anything...she knew she was going to change her name, but we were introduced and first name and first name last name (no mr. and mrs.)

2/28/2011 4:10:17 PM

Dear iheartkisses,

I do not want a wedding and I think peter does. I tell him on a weekly basis that I am not having a wedding. I believe the social anxiety from it alone would be enough to kill me. The only way I would consider it is if he agreed to do most of the planning and hired a wedding planner. Wedding.s never interested me much and I certainly have no desire to spend my hard earned money on it. Maybe he will never propose so it won't be an issue. I mean the state considers you married after living together for 7 years right?

2/28/2011 4:15:23 PM

Quote :

"If anyone wants to go to the Cary Magazine Elegant Weddings Gala on March 10, put in code CMAGGUEST at https://www.signup4.net/Public/ap.aspx?EID=ELEG11E and you can get in free. Just don't enter CC info and it'll apply the code when you hit register. You can do multiple people, but you have to register each one separately instead of hitting a higher number of tickets at the top."

yay thanks for this info!

Also thanks for all the photographer suggestions! It's really helping the process a lot

One of these days I'll get to plan my own wedding...but for now I'm enjoying helping with others haha

2/28/2011 9:11:52 PM

Quote :

"2. checks. for those of you who are already married, did you ever get a check with your new name written on it. if we get a check with "Joie Shipman" how would i approach this? "

lots...and though I had been banking with the SECU since I was very young and I added Justin to MY account, they wouldn't take it. I had to wait until I changed my name (so I had ID to go along w/ it) to deposit those. It was very frustrating and unnerving to have checks lying around. If I wasn't going to change my name, I dunno what I would've done (asked to speak with a manager? asked the relative to write another one? I dunno)...but since I was, I just waited it out.

It's why I now give CASH for wedding gifts.

And we were introduced as Mr & Mrs at the ceremony, but Justin & LK ___ at the reception. I say do whatever you want to do

2/28/2011 9:28:03 PM

Quote :

"2. checks. for those of you who are already married, did you ever get a check with your new name written on it. if we get a check with "Joie Shipman" how would i approach this? "

Bank of America never gave me issues about this- and we've received checks (not just as wedding gifts) with a variety of names on them. (I go by both my first and middle name, and with the new last name in the mix, there are six different ways of addressing me.) Wachovia was also cool with the oddities associated with my name, but that was back in SC.

If they ask, just explain. If they still fuss over it, I think having a copy of the marriage certificate would serve as enough evidence that you are the person the check is intended for. (though I imagine that can be annoying to carry around just to deposit a check.)

3/1/2011 6:03:41 AM

Quote :

"I think having a copy of the marriage certificate would serve as enough evidence that you are the person the check is intended for"

great idea


thanks guys!

(this is joie)

3/1/2011 7:42:02 AM

Dear bmel,

I share your sentiment! Unfortunately, common law marriages aren't recognized by all states.

I'd love to just see a justice of the peace. But when the groom is an only child, apparently his folks want a real wedding. Beach house may have to do.

3/1/2011 11:55:06 AM

Quote :

"Beach house may have to do."

doesn't sound too awful!

3/1/2011 11:56:24 AM

3/1/2011 12:00:13 PM

^^ first world problems!!!

3/1/2011 2:24:22 PM

Quote :

"I'd love to just see a justice of the peace. But when the groom is an only child, apparently his folks want a real wedding. Beach house may have to do. "

We're having our friend be our officiant for our non-denominational wedding

3/1/2011 4:43:31 PM

^as are we!

3/1/2011 7:43:44 PM

I just found out today that my uncle is not allowed to do my wedding (he's a methodist pastor and the bishop won't give him approval) so...we may legally get married at the courthouse the day before and then see if my uncle can still perform the ceremony To be honest, the ceremony is not one of our top priorities and local officiants want several hundred dollars for about half an hour's work. Not worth it!

3/2/2011 12:12:23 PM

^ That's exactly what we're doing. So much less stress doing it that way imo.

3/2/2011 1:04:12 PM

i was the bridesmaid in a greek wedding yesterday.


it was freaking AWESOME.

the ceremony was almost an hour long but included crowning, the ceremonial walk, chanters etc etc. and there were no vows.

when me and me counterpart groomsman left we had to bow to the crowd, every thing was incredibly cool.

and then at the reception there was greek dancing and the father of the bride (he is from greece) threw money in the air so everyone could dance on it (yet another tradition).


everything was so awesome.

[Edited on March 7, 2011 at 9:53 AM. Reason : theres more i cant remember right now ]

3/7/2011 9:53:03 AM

^ That sounds like so much fun

I ordered the lanterns for our reception hall today. All of their paper lanterns are on sale right now: http://www.paperlanternstore.com/

I'll let y'all know how they look when they come in.

3/7/2011 12:50:34 PM

Have received back half of my RSVPs! Now if everyone else would stop being lazy and RSVP that'd be great

3/8/2011 1:34:59 PM

^ahaha awwwww, mine are being made as we speak! (the design is at least, our friend is making it )


buttt i just got word from meschantes my first mock-up fitting is saturday!

3/8/2011 2:15:53 PM

You know, you'd think online RSVPing would mean people would be faster about it, but they're not. And some of them are people I know are coming, but they're being lazy sods and not going onto the website to RSVP. Maybe I'll just go in and edit their RSVPs for them lol.

3/8/2011 3:41:48 PM

^lol. are they older people?


cody and i thought about that too but realized a lot of my family (older members) dont have the much access to internet much less know how to use it ahah

3/8/2011 6:58:13 PM

Engagement photos shot this weekend in the Windy City!




Waiting for the CD to come in the mail.

3/8/2011 8:42:15 PM

OMG I LOVE THEMMM!!!

3/8/2011 9:00:07 PM

^^^ that's the weird thing, it's mostly people my age being lame. My grandparents have already rsvped lol.

3/8/2011 9:16:32 PM

Question: For our Honeymoon, we really need help for the expenses. His mom wants to help financially, but it seems she wants to help more with the wedding and those activities rather than the honeymoon. So basically, my parents are willing to help with some, his mom is willing to help with some, and that 3rd part we’re up in the air on how to pay for it. So, rather than having a normal registry at 2 or 3 different places, we’re thinking of having one normal one at Bed, Bath and Beyond or Target, and one through a travel agency (probably AAA). That way people can either give us traditional gifts or buy us gift cards for AAA for our honeymoon expenses. What do you all think?

3/9/2011 10:03:21 AM

I have a honeymoon registry through Traveler's Joy. It was actually my aunt's suggestion!

Oh hey they have a bunch of sample ones that are better than mine

http://www.travelersjoy.com/realmembers/registries/

[Edited on March 9, 2011 at 11:04 AM. Reason : s]

3/9/2011 10:36:59 AM