dear soul,

seriously, wtf

nick

10/7/2004 5:47:08 PM

dear foxfire,

why the fuck would you start out with a par 5..that's just fuckin evil

10/7/2004 5:48:10 PM

Dear 6pm,

Please arrive a little faster.

thanks
-Brian-

10/7/2004 5:50:36 PM

dear garage door opener,

rot in hell

sincerely,

BoobsR_gr8

10/7/2004 5:50:39 PM

dear hello kitty happy meal toy
why are you just sitting there on top of my pc, glaring at me like that. you don't have to act like such a cunt bitch.
love, duck

10/7/2004 5:51:46 PM

dear 480 paper

you are causing a lot of fuckin stress on me for no reason

sincerely,
jodi

10/7/2004 5:52:42 PM

dear Full Metal Jacket:
you appall me. and make me cry for private pyle.

D

10/7/2004 5:55:57 PM

480 sucked

10/7/2004 5:56:01 PM

dear nov 3rd

my love, hurry up and get here...i miss you

10/7/2004 6:00:31 PM

dear webmail trash folder,

FUNCTION PROPERLY BEFORE MY INBOX GETS TOO FULL AND EVERYTHING GETS F'ED UP



katie

[Edited on October 7, 2004 at 6:07 PM. Reason : t]

10/7/2004 6:07:01 PM

dear partypoker.com,

FUCK YOU

How fucked up can one site be? You are more worse than a child pornography website. You've fucked me over more times than an anal-centric homosexual in Sing-Sing. The odds of me having that many shitty hands and losing with my few good hands are much lower than the odds of a person getting struck by lightning while winning the lottery. But seriously, there is something very sketchy about you. What insurance is there that these cards aren't fixed?

[Edited on October 9, 2004 at 12:52 AM. Reason : Now I know how Phil fucking Helmuth feels.]

10/9/2004 12:43:03 AM

dear fire alarm in harrelson,

Thanks for the early release into the weekend

your best friend,

Josh

10/15/2004 3:26:37 PM

dear ryan
get a grip man

10/15/2004 3:29:51 PM

Dear map quiz,

I don't like you very much. Please don't let me fail you tomorrow!

Sincerely,
Kyle

12/3/2004 1:00:55 AM

Dear MP3 player,

When I put you on shuffle, why do you manage to play some songs twice or even THREE TIMES in one day, but never play others?

Best regards and fuck you,

antonio

1/14/2005 9:40:12 AM

Dearest Eli Lilly Scholarship Application Essay,

Why do you have to be so constricting... so straightforward and yet so difficult. Had you been open ended I'd be done with you by now. Goddamn you straight to hell.

P.S. Please give me money.

Sincerely yours,

Nick Snewf

1/14/2005 9:42:35 AM

They call these apostrophe's, so you know, kthx.

1/14/2005 9:43:03 AM

Dear Black NC State hat,

How the fuck do you still smell this terrible? Every time I wash you you just get more faded and floppier but never less stinky. What up with that. Best get your act together before I permanenly replace you with my USSR hat in the hat rotation.

Sincerely,

Kurtis

1/14/2005 9:45:37 AM

dear new toothbrush,

your handle is too fat so you won't fit in my toothbrush holder
b/c of you my toothbrush holder is sad that it's no longer a use to me
and now you'll just have to sit on the counter like everything else

~LK

1/14/2005 9:47:18 AM

dear tww... please add a post to my post count when i hit post reply...

thanks in advance

1/14/2005 9:51:51 AM

dear shower bar soap,

why must you be covered in pubic hairs all the time? i really shouldn't have to be CLEANING a bar SOAP

ok bye

1/15/2005 6:58:18 PM

zzz

[Edited on January 15, 2005 at 7:01 PM. Reason : z]

1/15/2005 6:59:27 PM

dear mp3 player,

you've been broken for about a year and a half now. don't you think it's time you learned to fix yourself? i don't have time for your shit. get it together.

~Brit

1/15/2005 7:02:05 PM

Dear bedroom,

Please clean yourself up sometimes. I am busy and don't have time to pick up your shit.

~ Matt

1/15/2005 7:03:17 PM

Dear bedroom,

Please clean yourself up sometimes. I am busy and don't have time to pick up your shit.

~ Matt Greg

1/15/2005 7:04:30 PM

Dear bedroom,

Please clean yourself up sometimes. I am busy and don't have time to pick up your shit.

~ Matt Greg Steve

1/15/2005 7:04:53 PM

dear beer
please start repelnishing yourself
thanks

1/15/2005 7:05:08 PM

dear laundry,

why the fuck do you have to get cleaned all the time

1/15/2005 7:05:14 PM

Dear Snow's music career,

Do you really think you helped Queen Latifa by having her rap in Informer?

PS. You are a losed

1/15/2005 7:47:55 PM

dear stats webassign,

maybe if i complete you so well high you should get high and try to complete me or some shit

2/15/2005 2:43:51 AM

dear dishes

when are y'all ever going to learn to clean yourselves?

your user,
Jason

2/15/2005 2:51:14 AM

Dear Harrelson Building,

Within the infinite insanity that is the apparant roundness of your halls, there lies a great evil of Calculus 2... please vanquish it and purge it from the campus and spare me a lot of grief, lest the guys in this comic crush you with a demon. http://blacktapestries.keenspace.com/d/20050210.html Thank you.

~ Canis of the House of Lupis


Dear Dorm Room,

Science has shown that the universe is constantly expanding... GET WITH THE PROGRAM!

~ Canis Lupis

[Edited on February 15, 2005 at 4:26 AM. Reason : ]

2/15/2005 4:24:09 AM

Dear engineering lab

I don't care about thermo couples... Fuck you

~ Bill

2/15/2005 11:59:59 AM

Dear cock,

plz to grow an inch or two

Jason

2/15/2005 12:01:08 PM

dear clock...hurry up and say 6pm

thanks in advance
-Brian-

2/15/2005 12:08:50 PM

Dear Roses,
Please live for a long, long time. You are all very pretty to look at and you smell nice, too.
Love,
Leann

2/15/2005 12:10:30 PM

Dear Brand New Leather Office Chair

I picked you out on Friday and I love you dearly...the crappy chair I have now hurts my back and is ugly...plz to get here soon, I long for the day when you arrive

Love,
April

2/15/2005 12:31:32 PM

Dear Condom,

if you break later today, i will kill your family

THXUBYE
Daniel

2/15/2005 12:38:46 PM

Dear Staple Remover thing

You are so cool, you're not like the other staple remover things.
Your method of removing staples is more basic, more primal. While the other staple remover things use teeth and are fun to play with when i'm not working, you get the job done much faster just with a simple shiv-like utility

I know you are not mine, you belong to one of the women in my office, but staple remover thing; I'd like to keep you

--Woodfoot

2/15/2005 12:39:05 PM

Dear Test Today,
Please do not be challenging to me, I have studied today and plan to study some more.
love Greg


Dear Zixxer,
please get me to class safely today, I don't want to crash anymore. It hurts, and it's somewhat embarrasing also.
Love, Me

2/15/2005 12:40:54 PM

dear bank account,
please increase yourself
take money from other accounts if you must

poor Aaron

2/15/2005 12:41:04 PM

dear internet

thanks for helping me be lazy and not do work

2/15/2005 12:41:14 PM

Dear Red Stapler

why have you forsaken me
i-i-i-i-want-m-my-my red stapler back

2/15/2005 12:42:10 PM

dear time,

incorporate daylight savings every day


wearily yours,

Rooney

[Edited on February 15, 2005 at 12:52 PM. Reason : i swear i didn't see the one ^^^]

2/15/2005 12:49:53 PM

Dear laundry,
please clean yourself or find someone to do it for me.

much,
-Brian-

2/15/2005 12:51:18 PM

dear stomach,

SHUT THE HELL UP YOU WHINING BITCH
i'll feed you later

sincerely yours
Daniel

2/15/2005 12:55:14 PM

dear tp
please dont do me wrong
dont make me ich, cover my finger in shit, or run out in the middle of the job

2/15/2005 1:11:49 PM

dear iPod,

if i should ever lose you, i would surely slit my neck open

admirer

2/15/2005 1:14:16 PM

dear sonic lemon berry slushie,

i love you.

2/15/2005 1:16:29 PM

dear weed,

hurry up and get here so i can smoke you.

love, jason

2/15/2005 1:17:13 PM