Quote :

"People seem to think that she did this by accident. You would think a woman would know the difference between taking a .5 pound dump out her ass, and a 7 pound dump out of her vagina. I would expect that it would feel different, no? Like try to imagine this as if she really didnt know she was giving birth… Woman: “OMG! I never had to shit so bad! It almost feels like its coming out of my vagina!” 2 hours later… Woman: Woah Mamma! Now thats how you take a shit! It was so big that it feels as if my Vagina is torn! I am not even slightly curious at looking at the size of this dump, or why there is so much blood and mucus on the toilet paper after I wipe, or why there is a long cord coming out of me as I put my pants on, or why my shit seems to be crying. I am just going to blindly flush now……….. WHOOPS! HELP! Yeah, that seems possible…"

lol

im fucking dying right now

[Edited on February 12, 2008 at 1:26 PM. Reason : quote]

2/12/2008 1:25:14 PM

Quote :

"i dont understand why women would choose to have a c-section. doesn't it leave a big scar?"

I didn't choose to have a C-section. I was extremely upset that I had to have a C-section because I was prepared for natural childbirth. I did not want any medication because I am difficult to intubate due to fused cervical vertebrae and I'm not a great candidate for any sort of spinal anesthesia. Unfortunately, Silas was breech and refused to get into the right position. The C-section itself was fast, simple, and recovery was easy. The spinal was an entirely different story, but I'm a unique case.

As for the scar, I was prepared for some ugly Britney Spears-esque C-section scar. In reality, it looks like someone took a fine tipped red pen and drew a 6 inch line right above my pubes. It was neat and clean enough to show off to my curious friends less than 2 weeks later.

2/12/2008 2:57:36 PM

yeah i get why some people HAVE to get one, just not why some people choose that route....

2/12/2008 4:26:46 PM

oh i dont know

PERHAPS SO YOU DONT PUSH A BABY THROUGHT SOME PLACE I'D LIKE TO CONTINUE ENJOYING, THNX

2/12/2008 4:28:48 PM

So we are staying for night 2 it appears...

2/12/2008 4:33:12 PM

i'm gonna talk to my fetus baby all about the joys of the vagina and how its necessary that when its time for him to come he comes out like an olympic diver as not to stretch my woman's vag.

2/12/2008 4:34:15 PM

good luck dude

2/12/2008 4:34:38 PM

Has her water broke? Pitocin? FRED I NEED ANSWERS! Go sneak her some food dammit!!!

2/12/2008 4:34:57 PM

they tried to break her water 3 times today but she is still at 0 cm

2/12/2008 4:37:53 PM

that baby doesn't want to come out quite yet.

2/12/2008 4:41:55 PM

jeepin, you just have to let the doctor know about the 'daddy stitch'

2/12/2008 4:44:17 PM

2/12/2008 4:57:25 PM

go for feb 29th

2/12/2008 5:04:34 PM

baby COME OUT

2/12/2008 5:54:56 PM

go for feb 29th

2/12/2008 5:59:09 PM

You've got my prayers, man. Good luck to you both.

2/12/2008 6:05:03 PM

i could not imagine someone trying to pop my water and my man posting about it

2/12/2008 6:09:03 PM

^don't worry, i'd be too busy video taping it.

2/12/2008 6:14:08 PM

It's more of a prick than a pop. Don't look when they do it Fred! It looks like they popped a V-8 filled water balloon.

2/12/2008 6:15:37 PM

so we just realized that our dog turns 1 tomorrow. Maggie and Maya are gonna be bff!

2/12/2008 7:41:12 PM

reach in there and pull it out

we have a time table to keep here

alternately, hold it in for another day and make a valentines baby

you're gonna be fucked trying to one-up her valentines day gift though

2/12/2008 8:10:11 PM

I dunno I think I did pretty good. I got her a 6-pack. Yes?

[Edited on February 12, 2008 at 8:13 PM. Reason : dat 190% not-pregnant-anymore DRANK]

2/12/2008 8:12:30 PM

I might be kind of late to the game, but do you two already have a godfather picked out?


cause ummm, uhh, I.......

2/12/2008 8:13:06 PM

She's gonna be on prescription painkillers most likely, it'll only take one of those beers. Y'know you can bring champagne to the hospital to drink after the baby is born, right?

I just wanted Subway. No more microwaved sandwich meat ftw.

2/12/2008 8:15:06 PM

if you were a truly horrible person

i'm talking like ann coulter level of horrible here

you'd macho man elbow drop onto her belly

and yell LOLOL MADE YOU WASTE THE LAST NINE MONTHS

i'm going to be an awesome dad

[Edited on February 12, 2008 at 8:15 PM. Reason : dibs on being internet godfather, or at least internet buddahuncle]

[Edited on February 12, 2008 at 8:18 PM. Reason : i'd also really appreciate this not being the last post in this thread afore minifred squirts out]

2/12/2008 8:15:15 PM

Maya is a pretty name

2/12/2008 8:40:13 PM

hey we think so too thanks

2/12/2008 8:43:09 PM

send me updates!!! I dont have your number ken but I have amna's do you have her phone? lol

2/12/2008 8:56:47 PM

what's the middle name?

2/12/2008 8:57:25 PM

shit, I'd be Maya's godfather.

a. i'm italian, but more importantly, b. i'd like the chance to be a spiritual model for a kid (which is what a godparent is )

2/12/2008 8:58:19 PM

amna has her phone with her sonali. we've been doing contractions all day and maya's not even close to making her way out. we'll keep ya updated

her full name is Maya Khalil

[Edited on February 12, 2008 at 9:05 PM. Reason : ^ you can role model for maya any time you want ]

2/12/2008 9:03:47 PM

a. i'm more italian than chembob , but more importantly, b. i'd like the chance to be a gangster ass role model for a kid (which is what a godparent should be )

2/12/2008 9:07:23 PM

maybe she's waiting for valentines day

but that would suck for amna to do that for 2 days eek

2/12/2008 9:08:52 PM

ohhh pretty name

2/12/2008 9:09:17 PM

I like that name, as well. Is there any meaning behind it?

2/12/2008 9:12:42 PM

we both like it, haha. we had to pick out names way before she even got pregnant cus we knew it would take forever to find names we both like

though after we picked it we realized that Maya is the mother of Buddha, and Amna's name means mother of Muhammad. yeah we're both christian, but that's just how we roll

2/12/2008 9:16:26 PM

Maya's being named after my people. I'll teach her to eat the hearts of unsuspecting tourist college kids.

2/12/2008 9:20:18 PM

man, i love that movie ~

2/12/2008 9:22:17 PM

so a second night of cervodil didnt do much. This child is comfortable right where she is

2/13/2008 7:43:59 AM

it set up a base camp

2/13/2008 7:47:36 AM

well, this kinda sucks. i'm sure neither she nor you wanted to spend a whole day doing this. your kid will be nothing if not persistent and headstrong.

2/13/2008 7:48:44 AM

if she's born today, she would have the same birthday as me.

2/13/2008 8:06:35 AM

yay hbd hgtran

2/13/2008 8:17:58 AM

this is why i think i'm opting for a c-section

ps- i'm keeping both of you in my thoughts

[Edited on February 13, 2008 at 8:29 AM. Reason : ]

2/13/2008 8:19:10 AM

so still no progress so we are gonna csection that kid out in 2 hours

2/13/2008 12:41:35 PM

awesome, good job on keep the vag the same

2/13/2008 12:43:55 PM

good luck with the operation!

http://www.photobasement.com/8-good-examples-of-what-happens-when-geeks-have-children/

2/13/2008 12:44:12 PM

good luck! hope all goes well! welcome little maya!

2/13/2008 2:03:59 PM

^^oh shit i'm SO dressing up my baby as Cthulhu!

2/13/2008 2:32:39 PM

^
lol it looks more like a walrus than Cthulhu

2/13/2008 2:35:51 PM