page 6 of teh awesomeness.

2/11/2008 8:01:45 AM

Feb 12 1554

The sixteen year old Lady Jane Grey, puppet Queen of England for nine days, beheaded in the Tower of London. Questions arose as to where to bury this semi-queen, until it was decided to place her among the beheaded former wives of Henry VIII.

Feb 12 1789

Ethan Allen dies in a drunken sleigh accident while crossing the frozen Lake Champlain, reminiscing with friends and rye. Much of the circumstance remains a mystery.

Feb 12 1967

Police in London arrest Keith Richards, Mick Jagger, and Marianne Faithful after they discover amphetamine pills, cannabis resin, and Marianne scandalously naked but for a fur rug. The two Rolling Stones received jail sentences which were successfully appealed.

Feb 12 1976

Actor Sal Mineo killed in the carport of his West Hollywood home. There were rumors of a gay crime of passion but in 1979 it turned out to be a routine mugger who stabbed him for his money.

2/12/2008 1:45:37 PM

Quote :

"Feb 12 1554 The sixteen year old Lady Jane Grey, puppet Queen of England for nine days, beheaded in the Tower of London. Questions arose as to where to bury this semi-queen, until it was decided to place her among the beheaded former wives of Henry VIII. "

Wow, I was thinking of Lady Grey this morning in the shower. It was so involved that I couldnt remember if I washed my hair yet... that is so weird.

2/12/2008 2:28:00 PM

Feb 13 1917

Mata Hari is arrested for spying.

Feb 13 1945

An estimated 135,000 people, mostly women and children, die in the firebombing of the 13th-century city of Dresden, a revenge bombing that had no real military justification.

Feb 13 1953

Transsexual Christine (formerly George) Jorgenson arrives in New York with much fanfare. She had had sex change operations performed in Denmark by Dr. Christian Hamburger, becoming the first successful surgical transgender. Upon return, she becomes a cabaret actress.

Feb 13 1959

The first Barbie Doll is introduced by Mattel in California.

Feb 13 1985

Japan's New Amusement Business Control and Improvement Act comes into effect. The law brings an end to Japan's innovative sex businesses (i.e., glory holes, strip bars, and public bondage), while protecting the traditional brothel industry. That's an improvement?

Feb 13 1990

Male prostitute Kevin Lee Kite accuses Rev. Bruce Ritter, founder of Covenant House (a place for wayward boys) and a respected member of the Meese commision on Pornography, of paying for homosexual sex. An internal investigation by Covenant House reveals a pattern of sexual misconduct with underage boys going back 20 years, and revealed a relationship with a 15 year old boy going back 14 months. Superiors at the Franciscan Order had been aware of Ritter's behavior patterns for some years, but did nothing.

2/13/2008 12:41:01 PM

"February 13, 1937 — Redskins owner George Preston Marshall gets approval from the NFL to move the franchise from Boston to Washington. They would go on to win a championship their first year in the nation's capital."

2/13/2008 7:54:03 PM

Feb 14

The eve of the Roman feast of Lupercalia. Naked youths would run through Rome, anointed with the blood of sacrificed dogs and goats, waving thongs cut from the goats. If a young woman was struck by the thong, fertility was assured. Pope Gelasius I decided this was a bit too much, and co-opted the Roman holiday to be the Feast of St. Valentine in 484 A.D.

Feb 14 1779

English explorer Captain James Cook and some of his crew are slaughtered by angry Hawaiian islanders, after he tried to take a Hawaiian chief hostage over a dispute regarding a stolen boat.

Feb 14 1929

The Capone gang kills six members of the "Bugs" Moran gang and one other person at the S.M.C. Cartage company in Chicago, in an event known as the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Bogus police officers were used so that it appeared to be a routine police bust. Except for all the bodies.

Feb 14 1979

Walter Carlos, the musician who created "Switched on Bach" and the score of "A Clockwork Orange", reveals to the world that he has had a sex change operation and is henceforth to be referred to as Wendy.

Feb 14 1989

Ayatollah Khomeini issues a takfir against Salman Rushdie, for his writings in the Satanic Verses. The act propels the otherwise uninteresting book into a bestseller.

2/14/2008 3:37:54 AM

It's actually pretty interesting.

2/14/2008 7:56:55 AM

Feb 15 1898

The battleship U.S.S. Maine blows up in Havana Harbor, commencing a splendid little war against Spain that ends with the United States owning a colonial empire and Cuba under martial law.

Feb 15 1933

An unsuccessful attempt on FDR's life by Joseph Zangara in Miami leaves Chicago mayor Anton Czermak dead. Zangara is electrocuted the following month.

Feb 15 1936

At a speech in Berlin, Hitler confronts German industry with the challenge of creating the Volkswagen. Thus Ferdinand Porsche designs the Beetle which is now widely seen as the final solution to fahrvergnugen. But neither Hitler nor Porsche would have the foresight to realize how groovy the Beetle would be, man.

Feb 15 1954

Ronald Reagan opens his stand-up act at the Las Vegas Ramona Room with the "Honey Brothers", a wacky slapstick troupe. His show was a smashing success.

Feb 15 1961

The U.S. figure skating team is obliterated when their Sabena Airlines 707 crashes in Belgium.

Feb 15 1988

Surely you're dead, Mr. Feynman.

Feb 15 1992

Jeffrey Dahmer sentenced to fifteen consecutive life terms for the murder of fifteen young and mostly ethnic boys. He completed his sentence when he was beaten to death in the shower by other inmates.

Feb 15 1995

The most wanted computer hacker in history, Kevin Mitnick, is arrested in Raleigh North Carolina for various offenses, one of which was breaking into security specialist Tsutomu Shimomura's computer.

2/15/2008 3:42:04 AM

Feb 16 1923

Lord Carnarvon opens King Tut's tomb, revealing one of the most well-preserved treasures from the ancient world. While it has been frequently reported that a curse killed 13 of the 20 people present at the opening of the tomb, there was no curse and no unusual death patterns occurred.

Feb 16 1959

Failed baseball player Fidel Castro is sworn in as President For Life of Cuba. During his first year of rule 500 are put to the firing squad, an RBI record any dictator would be proud of.

Feb 16 1978

The first computer bulletin board system goes live on an S-100 motherboard and CP/M, and a Hayes 300 baud modem. Ward Christensen and Randy Seuss's Computerized Bulletin Board System still kinda runs to this day, but the Internet has taken the place that BBS's used to have. And this is why you have no social life, loser.

Feb 16 1988

Richard Farley, a man obsessed with the lovely and petite Laura Black, entered his former workplace in Sunnyvale, California, and killed 7 employees as he made his way towards Laura's office. A hearing was scheduled regarding her restraining order against him for the following day. Farley fails in his attempt to kill her, leaving Laura critically wounded.

2/16/2008 4:35:40 AM

Feb 17 1600

Italian philosopher Giordano Bruno burned at the stake at Campo di Fiore in Rome, likely because ecclesiastical authorities were alarmed at his rambling and somewhat insane ideas, coupled with rejection of accepted authority. Exactly what the charges against him were are lost to history, but likely involve theological heresies rather than astronomical.

Feb 17 1974

Forty-nine people trampled to death at a soccer stampede in Cairo, after crowds tear down entry barriers to the Zamalek vs Dukla game.

Feb 17 1989

The cinematic masterpiece "Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure" starring Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter opened in theaters. Pictured above, Bill and Ted's Excellent Breakfast Cereal.

Feb 17 1993

An overcrowded ferry carrying up to 1,500 people sank off Haiti. Only 285 people were known to have survived.

Feb 17 1994

The decomposing corpse of Zviad Gamsakhurdia, first president of the Republic of Georgia, is exhumed from a temporary grave in Djikhaskari. His wife refuses an autopsy, but western journalists note a bullet wound in the side of Zviad's head. Officially listed as suicide, the wife also claims he was murdered. Another government minister oddly states the death was by cancer with the head shot administered post-mortem.

2/17/2008 11:07:19 AM

Feb 18 1933

Yoko Ono born.

Feb 18 1967

J. Robert Oppenheimer dies.

Feb 18 1991

Killer/Cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer strangles a 19-year-old man, marking his tenth (of 17) victims. Jeffrey dismembers the body and keeps the skull in his Milwaukee, Wisconsin apartment.

Feb 18 2001

During the Daytona 500, NASCAR phenom Dale Earnhardt crashes into the wall and dies instantly. His widow later files a lawsuit to keep his autopsy photos sealed, and Florida subsequently passes a law to prevent them from ever being released.

2/18/2008 11:55:27 AM

Feb 19 1942

Roosevelt signs E.O. 9066, the internment order permitting Japanese Americans to be held in concentration camps for the duration of the war.

Feb 19 1969

Marianne Faithfull was found in a coma after a suicide attempt in Australia.

Feb 19 1983

Benjamin Ng and Willie Mak kill 13 in a Seattle robbery attempt.

Feb 19 1995

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee married. Watch for the video.

Feb 19 1998

Lt. Col. Larry Wayne Harris (Aryan Nations) and William Leavitt are arrested in Henderson, NV for possession of the biological toxin anthrax, military grade, enough to kill an entire city. Their Mercedes is hermetically sealed by authorities and brought to Nellis Air Force Base in Nevada for hazmat.

2/19/2008 12:55:03 PM

5 months left till Mr. Joshua leaves us via sepiku.

2/19/2008 1:13:31 PM

Better to burn out than fade away.

This thread will be the Dark Knight to my Heath Ledger.

2/19/2008 6:05:54 PM

too bad you forgot one of the more important ones.

February 19, 1980 - AC/DC singer Bon Scott found dead in a car outside a London night club from acute alcohol poisoning.

Five months later, AC/DC released "Back in Black" with a new vocalist, Brian Johnson, as a tribute to Scott.

2/19/2008 6:23:57 PM

You do understand that I just copy and paste this from rotten.com, right?

and bon scott >>>>>>> brian johnson

[Edited on February 19, 2008 at 7:25 PM. Reason : .]

2/19/2008 7:23:58 PM

Ooooooooooooooooooh.

2/19/2008 11:57:43 PM

2/20/2008 12:12:01 AM

Feb 20 1947

A chemical mistake at the O'Connor Electro-Plating Co. in Los Angeles causes a huge explosion, killing 17 and leaving a 22 foot crater. Four city blocks suffer severe devastation, with over 100 buildings damaged.

Feb 20 1971

An erroneous warning is emitted on the Emergency Broadcast System causing a number of stations to go off the air, and others to completely ignore the alert (thus pointing out that many key stations would not react to any emergency broadcast over the system.)

Feb 20 1980

After some heavy drinking, Bon Scott, vocalist for heavy metal band AC/DC, is found in a friend's automobile choked on his own vomit.

Feb 20 1984

Ballerina Julia Pak marries the ghost of Sun Myung Moon's dead son, Heung Jin Moon, in a tasteful necro-ceremony. The couple were engaged to be married, but a car accident in December intervened. Unfortunately in the Moonie religion, only married couples may enter Heaven, hence the need for this awkward rite.

Feb 20 1987

A paper bag at a Salt Lake City computer store explodes, injuring store owner Gary Wright. It is the second time the Unabomber has used the old "paper bag in the parking lot" trick.

Feb 20 1997

Victor Willis, the "cop" in the Village People is charged in Nevada on drug possession (45 grams of cocaine), possession of drug paraphernalia, and strong armed robbery. The events occurred February 15. Willis, 45, listed his occupation as "unemployed" and generously gave approval for his hotel room to be searched.

Feb 20 2003

A fire at a West Warwick, R.I. performance of eighties hairspray legends Great White caused by the band's indoor pyrotechnics leaves 100 dead. The pyrotechnics were illegal in that nightclub venue, and use of them by the band had been forbidden by other local venues. Guitarist Ty Longley is among the dead, his last journal entry containing the words: "I say we send a bunch of bands, food, artists, strippers, bartenders, proctologists, psychologists and lots of love over to Iraq and North Korea for a big party!"

2/20/2008 12:18:00 PM

Feb 21 1803

Edward Despard and six co-conspirators were hanged, drawn, and quartered at Horsemonger Lane Gaol for plotting to assassinate England's King George III and to destroy the Bank of England. He is the last person to suffer this punishment.

Feb 21 1885

America's greatest phallic symbol, the Washington Monument, is dedicated by President Chester A. Arthur. The shaft towers over 555 into the air, and sports an aluminum foreskin.

Feb 21 1916

Start of the Battle of Verdun, which in nine months yielded 975,000 casualties and almost no change in the front line. It is the bloodiest battle in history, and often the one remarked as having the "highest density of dead per square yard."

Feb 21 1931

The first attempted hijacking of an airplane occurs when revolutionary soldiers in Peru seize a Ford Tri-motor and demand pilots drop propaganda leaflets over the capital, Lima.

Feb 21 1965

Malcolm X assassinated in a Manhattan ballroom, probably by fellow black muslims.

Feb 21 1972

Nixon visits Red China, fulfilling the Vulcan proverb.

Feb 21 1988

Television evangelist Jimmy Swaggart of the Assemblies of God, with tears streaming down his face, confesses sinning with a prostitute in a Louisiana hotel room. A second scandal with yet another prostitute emerges in 1991, further killing his evangelical career.

2/21/2008 2:06:23 PM

Feb 22 1987

Andy Warhol dies of complications after gallbladder surgery, though the details are hazy. The official cause was listed as cardiac arrhythmia, but speculation includes his fear of hospitals as well as possible Cefoxitin allergy. Warhol's death brings him a bonus 15 minutes of fame.

Feb 22 1993

The United States Supreme Court rejects a move by singer Chuck Berry to move his case to Federal court. Various women sued Berry alleging he videotaped them going potty in his St. Louis restaurant.

Feb 22 1994

CIA agent Aldrich Ames charged with conspiracy to commit espionage. His betrayal, starting in 1985, resulted in the executions of a good number of important undercover agents within the Soviet Union. The CIA knew without doubt there was a mole in its ranks. And though by 1989 Ames had acquired unexplainable wealth from his spying and did very little to conceal the spying, he somehow managed to evade being caught for five more years.

Feb 22 1997

The first cloning of an advanced mammal, a sheep known as Dolly, is announced in the news media. Dolly was cloned from a mammary cell, her name being taken from the topheavy Dolly Parton, star of the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. [Editor's note: You can never have too many sheep.]

2/22/2008 1:17:59 PM

Feb 23 303

Roman Emperor Diocletian issues an edict to suppress Christianity, "to tear down the churches to the foundations and to destroy the Sacred Scriptures by fire". Further edicts require that church officials engage in animal sacrifice to appease traditional Roman gods.

Feb 23 1885

The British hangman at Exeter Gaol tries three times to hang John Lee of Devonshire, for the murder of Emma Keyse. The trap refused to open. His sentence was commuted to life, and he was eventually released.

Feb 23 1915

Nevada enacts a law reducing the "quickie divorce" residency requirements down to six months, a figure further reduced in 1931 to six weeks.

Feb 23 1942

The first Japanese attack on the U.S. mainland occurs when an I-17 submarine fires 13 shells at an oil refinery near Goleta, Southern California. $500 damage was inflicted. It was not clear why this target was chosen until much later, when it was found that the commander of this particular submarine had visited the site in the 1930's and stumbled into a field of prickly pear cactus. Captain Nishino never forgave the ridicule he received from his American hosts that day.

Feb 23 1981

Right wing members of the Civil Guard storm the Spanish Parliament with machine guns, taking every important elected official in the country hostage. The coup collapsed 18 hours later.

Feb 23 1996

The "Freeway Killer" William G Bonin executed at San Quentin. For his last meal he chose two pepperoni and sausage pizzas, three coffee ice creams, and fifteen cans of Coca Cola totalling a rather unhealthy 6391 calories.

2/23/2008 1:31:27 PM

Feb 24 1868

President Andrew Johnson impeached for High Crimes and Misdemeanors, which is fancy talk for removing Secretary of War Stanton. This remains an honor not bestowed again until the blowjob years of the Clinton Administration.

Feb 24 1921

Abe Vigoda's birthday. Not dead yet!

Feb 24 1988

Jerry Falwell loses his appeal to the Supreme Court, regarding an outrageous parody published by Hustler magazine. Falwell was shown as an incestuous drunk. As long as the material is not presented as factual, public figures may be sniped upon.

Feb 24 1990

Bisexual businessman Malcolm Forbes dead.

Feb 24 1992

In a very special episode of Geraldo, daytime talk show host Geraldo Rivera has fat cells removed from from his ass and injected into his forehead.

Feb 24 1998

A man "on a mission from God" hijacks a Turkish Airlines jet with 68 on board, claiming to have a bomb in his teddy bear, and attempts to divert it to Iran. Passengers put an end to his plans.

2/24/2008 11:32:08 AM

Feb 25 1922

Henri Landru, the notorious French serial killer known as "Bluebeard", guillotined for murdering ten women, and one boy. His motive was purely financial; by placing classified ads Landru lured selected women into his clutches, married them, and disposed of their bodies without a trace. While denying guilt to the end, a drawing given to his attorney had written on the reverse, "I did it. I burned their bodies in my kitchen oven".

Feb 25 1932

Austrian Adolf Hitler granted German citizenship, to meet a "minor" technical requirement in order to run for president.

Feb 25 1983

Playwright Tennessee Williams found dead in his New York hotel room after he choked on a bottle cap during the night.

Feb 25 1986

Egyptian Military Police enter four luxury hotels near the Pyramids, setting fires and looting. Hotel guests were terrorized. The police were upset over tours of duty that were being extended.

Feb 25 1994

Baruch Goldstein fires on Palestinians at the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hebron, slaughtering 29 of them. Goldstein, born and raised in Brooklyn New York, was a follower of Rabbi Meir Kahane and had been plotting acts of violence for two years.

Feb 25 1996

Dr. Haing S. Ngor, the Cambodian who won the 1984 Best Supporting Actor Oscar for The Killing Fields, shot during a robbery attempt in the carport of his Los Angeles apartment.

2/25/2008 2:13:17 PM

Feb 26 1815

Napoleon Bonaparte slips past guards and escapes from his exile on the island of Elba, returning to France meeting very little resistance. One Hundred Days of rule follow, culminating in his defeat at Waterloo.

Feb 26 1918

Grandstands at the Hong Kong Jockey Club collapse and burn, killing 604 spectators. It is the worst disaster in sports history.

Feb 26 1974

A U.S. Senate report reveals Ford Motor's involvement in Nazi Germany's war efforts, for which CEO Henry Ford received the Grand Cross of the German Eagle from Adolf Hitler himself. After the war, the car company was paid nearly $1M reparation by the U.S. government to compensate for one of its plants that was bombed within the Reich.

Feb 26 1985

A federal grand jury brings a fifteen count racketeering indictment upon members of "The Commission", a body consisting of all of the major Mafia families in New York City. The indictments were largely made possible by a bug planted in the dashboard of Tony "Ducks" Corallo's black Jaguar.

Feb 26 1991

Iraqi forces fleeing Kuwait on the "Highway of Death" are caught in a turkey shoot of falling explosives and aerial strafing. It is impossible to say how many people in this column of over 1000 vehicles were killed, but in all as many as 450,000 Iraqis were buried in Kuwait after the war.

Feb 26 1993

A bomb explodes on level B2 of the World Trade Center, creating a five story crater and leaving six dead and over 1,042 injured. According to the New York Times, the FBI knew in advance this was going to happen.

2/26/2008 3:22:49 AM

great job, Mr. Joshua
thanks for keeping history alive

2/26/2008 3:35:29 PM

Feb 27 1859

Congressman Dan Sickles of New York shoots and kills Philip Barton Key, the son of Francis Scott Key (who wrote the Star Spangled Banner). The younger Key was having an affair with the congressman's wife. Sickles later pleads insanity and is acquitted.

Feb 27 1937

The Reichstag conveniently burns. A mad Dutchman who was arrested at the scene, Marinus van der Lubb, may have been partially responsible but if this is so, he is likely someone's patsy. The Nazi Party benefitted greatly from the subsequent crackdown, and it's suspected that SA stormtroopers set things up for van der Lubb.

Feb 27 1977

Rolling Stone Keith Richards arrested in Toronto with his girlfriend Anita Pallenberg for possession of heroin. Found guilty at trial over one year later, he manages to get off with a suspended sentence plus benefit concerts for the blind.

Feb 27 1982

Freelance photographer Wayne B. Williams found guilty of two counts of murder, though he is suspected of killing 22 other Atlanta area black boys. Williams was caught dumping a suspicious load from atop a bridge in the middle of the night.

Feb 27 1991

Mitchell brother Jim shoots and kills Mitchell brother Artie for reasons that aren't exactly clear. The brothers had built up a San Francisco porn empire centered around the O'Farrell Theater, and were responsible for one of the best-selling porno films of all time: Behind the Green Door, starring Marilyn Chambers and John Holmes.

Feb 27 1992

Trying to get the lid off her McDonald's coffee to add cream and sugar, 79-year-old Stella Liebeck accidentally splashes the 180-degree liquid on herself, causing third-degree burns to the thighs, genitals, and buttocks. After skin graft surgery and weeks of recuperation, Liebeck asks McDonald's to turn down the temperature of their coffee and pay $20,000 to defray her hospital bills. McDonald's tells the old lady to fuck off, as they had done for a decade of similar burn claims. Ultimately, a jury awards Liebeck $2.9 million in the resulting lawsuit, which immediately triggers a renewed call for legislative tort reform.

2/27/2008 12:37:03 PM

Feb 28 1574

Two impenitent heretics are burned at the stake in Mexico at a spectacular auto-da-fe comparable to those in Spain. The two are the first victims of the Inquisition in the New World, dying for their heretical crimes of... Lutheranism.

Feb 28 1968

Singer and early 60's heartthrob Frankie Lymon is found dead from a heroin overdose next to his syringe, in his grandmother's New York City apartment.

Feb 28 1986

Prime Minister of Sweden Olof Palme assassinated as he left a movie theater in Stockholm. It is unknown who the assailant was, though some suspect a South African death squad.

Feb 28 1993

Agents of the Bureau of Alcohol, Firearms and Tobacco use armed force attempting to serve Branch Davidian leader David Koresh with a search warrant (one with no actual evidence of any illegal activity whatsoever), in what the BATF viewed as a publicity stunt to improve their image. While the agents carefully coordinated the raid with eleven different media outlets, something apparently tipped off Koresh and things do not go well: six Davidians and four ATF agents were killed. The warrant instead could have been served peacefully, while Koresh did his daily morning jog.

Feb 28 1995

Members of the group "Patriot's Council" in Minnesota are convicted under the Biological Weapons Anti-Terrorism Act of 1989, for manufacturing quantities of the ricin toxin. The substance is nearly indetectible when used as a poison, but is difficult to administer.

2/28/2008 1:40:02 PM

Feb 29

Leap Year Day.

Feb 29

St. Tibbs Day, inserted between 59 Chaos and 60 Chaos, on the Discordian calendar.

Feb 29 1692

Sarah Good & Tituba, an Indian servant, was accused of witchcraft in Salem.

Feb 29 1960

An Earthquake killed 1/3 of Agadir Morocco population (12,000) in 15 sec. Also that day, it was hit with a tidal wave and a fire.

Feb 29 1960

Melvin Purvis, the G-Man who led the raids when John Dillinger and Pretty Boy Floyd were slain, committed suicide with an automatic revolver.

Feb 29 1996

A Peruvian commercial jet caught fire and crashed into remote Andean mountain canyon five miles from its destination, killing all 123 people on board.

2/29/2008 4:40:27 AM

Mar 1 1815

Jesse Sharpless is convicted in Pennsylvania of exhibiting a "certain lewd, wicked, scandalous, infamous and obscene painting, representing a man in an obscene, impudent and indecent posture with a woman" in his own house. It is the first obscenity trial in the United States.

Mar 1 1932

A man climbs a makeshift ladder to the 2nd floor of Charles Lindbergh's New Jersey home and snatches his twenty-month-old son, Charles Jr. Whoever took the baby left behind a poorly-written ransom note demanding $50,000 in small bills.

Mar 1 1954

Four Puerto Rican nationalists open fire on House of Representatives from visitors' gallery, wounding five representatives. All four captured by security guards.

Mar 1 1954

The first hydrogen bomb is detonated at Bikini. Even though the bomb was hundreds of times more powerful than the atomic bomb exploded there in 1946, no islanders were evacuated this time. Almost 300 people suffered radiation exposure.

Mar 1 1969

While performing with the Doors, Jim Morrison asks the audience "Do you wanna see my cock?" then exposes himself briefly on a Miami stage. For thus showing his peepee Morrison received a sentence of six months hard labor.

Mar 1 1971

The radical group Weather Underground explodes a bomb in a restroom of the U.S. Capitol building, causing significant damage. The bomb exploded after an intensive search of the building yielded no results. Nobody is ever convicted of the attack.

Mar 1 1978

The body of Charlie Chaplin is stolen for ransom by Galtcho Ganav (Bulgaria) and Romnan Wardas (Poland) from a cemetery in Corsier, Switzerland. The actor's corpse is recovered two months later.

Mar 1 1999

Eight tourists at the Buhoma Homestead (including two Intel executives), in Uganda to visit wild mountain gorillas, are kidnapped and hacked to death with machetes by Rwantan Hutus.

3/1/2008 1:16:36 PM

Mar 2 1939

Howard Carter dies of King Tut's curse.

Mar 2 1944

A train of mixed military/civilian passengers stalls inside a tunnel outside Salerno, Italy, asphyxiating 426 from fumes.

Mar 2 1968

Syd Barrett leaves Pink Floyd, after melting his mind with various extremely dangerous drugs. He spends the following years mumbling about pork chops and refrigerators.

Mar 2 1982

Science fiction author Philip K Dick dies of a stroke in Santa Ana, California. Since 1974 the author had been possessed by a superalien who arrived in his head via a beam of pink light.

Mar 2 1997

1st Monkey successfully cloned (1997)

(That first one completely contradicts Feb 16th)

3/2/2008 2:18:17 PM

Mar 3 1863
The National Conscription Act is signed, forcing all men between 20 and 45 years of age into the draft lotteries. Except for rich bastards, who could buy their way out for $300, or hire another man to serve in his place. The inevitable result is the week-long New York Draft Riots.

Mar 3 1931

An English beer drinking song becomes the National Anthem of the United States.

Mar 3 1934

John Dillinger escapes from an escape-proof jail in Crown Point Indiana, using a wooden pistol he carved himself. It's his second escape.

Mar 3 1967

The Berkeley Barb reports that banana peels can make you high. Apparently lots of people can be fooled into thinking that the resulting "bananadine" extract is a hallucinogenic Mellow Yellow.

Mar 3 1991



Los Angles Police officers are filmed beating black motorist Rodney King with nightsticks. Television news stations repeatedly air the film nationwide. Four whites are charged with the beating on March 15, and when they are found not guilty, Los Angeles erupts in riot.

Mar 3 2006

British glam rocker Gary Glitter is sentenced to three years in a Vietnamese prison for molesting two girls, 10 and 11. His sentence also includes mandatory deportation and payment of 5m Vietnamese dong (about $315.00) to the girls' families. 61-year-old Glitter denies all wrongdoing and claims to be the victim of a tabloid newspaper conspiracy

3/3/2008 12:13:51 PM

Mar 4 1861

The "Stars and Bars" is formally adopted as the flag of the Confederate States of America.

Mar 4 1966

John Lennon claims that The Beatles are "more popular than Jesus", and that "Christianity will... vanish and shrink".

Mar 4 1991

The U.S. Army destroys an Iraqi bunker holding 7 tons of sarin nerve gas. It is later determined that 24,000 troops in the 82nd Airborne may have been adversely affected by this toxin release.

Mar 4 1994

Obese comedian John Candy dies.

3/4/2008 3:06:37 AM

Mar 5 1770

The Boston Massacre leaves five colonists dead when British soldiers open fire.

Mar 5 1930

Danish artist Einar Wegener undergoes a sex change operation in Berlin, making him a soprano. He assumes the identity of Lili Elbe, and has ovaries implanted. However it is speculated that Wegener was actually a hermaphrodite, and the credit for first sex change usually is given to Christine Jorgenson.

Mar 5 1953

Josef Stalin, born Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili, dies of a brain hemorrhage at age 73.

Mar 5 1959

Twenty-one Negro Boys are killed in a fire at the Arkansas Negro Boys Industrial Reformatory, Little Rock AR.

Mar 5 1982

John Belushi found dead at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood from a cocaine and heroin overdose. A sketchy woman, Cathy Smith, is later charged with administering the fatal injections.

Mar 5 1989

Michael Anderson Godwin, previously on death row for murder but with sentence commuted to life imprisonment, dies in a toilet-related accident at the Central Correctional Institution in South Carolina. Godwin, sitting on a stainless steel toilet, bit into headphone wires that were connected to his television. He was immediately electrocuted. [Moral: use a porcelain toilet.]

Mar 5 1998

David Asimov, the unemployed son of science fiction author Isaac Asimov, arrested in Santa Rosa, California for felony possesion of child pornography. Over 4,000 videos and other items were seized from his residence. Police were alarmed at the quantity he had accumulated, but do not believe he was distributing the material.

3/5/2008 6:31:01 PM

Mar 6 1836

Alamo seized by Santa Ana, 3,000 versus 147 not being a fair fight. The holdouts sufferered unnecessary deaths, disobeying direct orders by remaining, and losing their arms and cannon to the Mexicans.

Mar 6 1918

The US naval vessel "Cyclops" vanishes in the Bermuda Triangle.

Mar 6 1978

Larry Flynt, publisher of the fine magazine Hustler, is shot and paralyzed.

Mar 6 1983

Cheryl Araujo is gang raped atop a pool table at a tavern in New Bedford, Massachusetts. Other men in the establishment applauded the spectacle. Four men are convicted of the crime in a trial that attracts nationwide attention.

3/6/2008 1:43:11 PM

Mar 7 1945

Gen. George Patton urinates in the Rhine after the U.S. Third Army takes the bridge at Remagen.

Mar 7 1981

Anti-government guerrillas in Colombia executed kidnapped American Bible translator Chester Allen Bitterman, whom they accused of being a CIA agent.

Mar 7 1981

Eighteen year old Mel Yorba is stabbed to death at Disneyland, near the Matterhorn ride. He made the fatal mistake of grabbing at James O'Driscoll's girlfriend. O'Driscoll apparently retaliated with a sharp and pointy knife, and was found ninety minutes later hiding in Tomorrowland shrubbery. A jury trial ended in deadlock over his second degree murder charge.

Mar 7 1988

Tubby transvestite actress Divine, who appeared in several John Waters films, dead from sleep apnea.

Mar 7 1990

The CIA stages a fake satellite explosion of a KH-11 spy satellite code named Misty which was in low earth orbit. Both American and Russian sources reported Misty's destruction, but amateur astronomers have shown that this was a deception to allow it to achieve a higher, less detectible orbit.

3/7/2008 1:12:36 PM

Quote :

"Mar 6 1983 Cheryl Araujo is gang raped atop a pool table at a tavern in New Bedford, Massachusetts. Other men in the establishment applauded the spectacle. Four men are convicted of the crime in a trial that attracts nationwide attention."

Damn that's fucked up.

3/7/2008 1:41:39 PM

Mar 8 1968

A Soviet submarine sinks in the Pacific Ocean, killing all 97 crewmembers aboard. Later in the year a U.S. submarine secretly retrieves an encryption machine, codebooks, and nuclear warheads from the Soviet vessel. A further bold attempt is made in 1974 to bring up the entire submarine using the CIA ship Glomar Explorer, built by Howard Hughes. That mission supposedly fails, and is made public by the Los Angeles Times to the great embarrassment of the Agency.

Mar 8 1973

Paul McCartney is fined 100 UKP for growing marijuana at his farm on the Mull of Kintyre.

Mar 8 1997

Chad Lamansky and Daniel Myers, a pair of teenagers in Davis County, Iowa, slip into an animal shelter at night and beat 16 cats to death with a baseball bat. A jury later determined that the cats had a value less than $30 each, ruling out the possibility of a felony conviction.

Mar 8 1998

In Ladson, South Carolina, Daniel Rudolph -- brother of Olympic Games bombing and abortion clinic bombing suspect Eric Rudolph (a fugitive) -- videotapes himself severing his own hand with a power saw in order to "send a message to the FBI and the media". Mmmm, inbreeding?

Mar 8 1999

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

3/8/2008 1:18:27 PM

Mar 9 1170

In Essex, a UFO is spotted over St. Ostwyth, manifesting itself as a "wonderfully large dragon ... borne up from the Earth through the air". The craft kindled the air and destroyed a house.

Mar 9 1556

David Rizzio, the secretary to Mary, Queen of Scots, stabbed 56 times by a gaggle of Scottish nobles. Her husband Henry Lord Darnley had orchestrated the murder with Mary witnessing, hoping to precipitate a miscarriage.

Mar 9 1967

Josef Stalin's daughter, Svetlana Alliluyeva, walks into the U.S. Embassy at New Delhi and asks to defect.

Mar 9 1989

Photographer/homosexual Robert Mapplethorpe dead from AIDS. His bullwhip will be missed.

Mar 9 1995

Jon Schmitz (straight) kills Scott Amedure (gay) three days after an appearance on the trashy Jenny Jones TV talk show, where Amedure admitted having a crush on Schmitz. Allegedly the two men had an affair that evening after the show, but the backlash from their rural community was going to be so severe that Schmitz panicked to defend his manlihood, filling his admirer with buckshot. Amedure's famly later sued the Jenny Jones show for $50M.

Mar 9 1997

Notorious B.I.G. (Christopher Wallace) killed in a drive-by outside the Soul Train Music Awards in Los Angeles. The murder has never been officialy solved, though an ongoing feud with Death Row Records may have had something to do with it.

3/9/2008 12:39:20 PM

Mar 10 1948

Czech foreign minister Jan Masaryk thrown from a window at his apartment in Prague under mysterious circumstances. His death was ruled "suicide" and later by the communists, to have "fallen accidently while sitting in a yoga position on a window sill to combat insomnia". But most likely he was suffocated first, judging from the fact that he had lost control of his bowels.

Mar 10 1974

Second Lt. Hiroo Onoda of the Imperial Japanese Army surrenders to Philippine authorities. He believed World War II was still underway and continued a 30 year guerrila battle with other islanders. His final capitulation came when his senior officer, Maj. Taniguchi, ordered his surrender. Upon return to the Japanese homeland, Onoda was treated as a hero, but had difficulty coping with his "postwar" life.

Mar 10 1977

Roman Polanski gives a thirteen-year old girl Quaaludes and has sex with her during a photo shoot at Jack Nicholson's home. He later flees the country to avoid statutory rape charges.

Mar 10 1987

Jeffrey Dahmer is convicted of lewd and lascivious behavior for urinating in front of several children. He was sentenced to one year's probation for the incident. Jeffrey would go on to kill eighteen young men in Milwaukee.

Mar 10 1988

Highly insipid rock vocalist Andy Gibb dies of heart trouble at age 30. He put a lot of drugs into his body, primarily cocaine.

Mar 10 1997

The Yorkshire Ripper, Peter Sutcliffe, is stabbed in both eyes during an altercation with another inmate at Broadmoor Hospital. Peter is serving a sentence for killing 13 women.

3/10/2008 9:08:31 PM

Mar 11 1669

After a series of premonitional earthquakes near Mount Etna, the largest volcano in Europe spectacularly erupts, destroying the Sicilian town of Nicolosi and killing 20,000 people.

Mar 11 1938

Germany enters Austria in the "Anschluss", to annex it as part of Grossdeutchland.

Mar 11 1958

A B-47 bomber drops a nuclear bomb in the town of Mars Bluff in South Carolina. While it did not detonate a nuclear explosion, conventional explosives within the bomb left a 75 foot crater, destroying one house and damaging five others.

Mar 11 1970

Actress Suzanne Somers arrested (and strip searched!) for writing bad checks. She was not prosecuted.

Mar 11 1990

Vice President Dan Quayle sends a Secret Service agent proxy into a Chilean tourist shop to purchase a wooden male, anatomically correct "peekaboo" statuette.

Mar 11 1993

"We can't be so fixated on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans." (Bill Clinton showing his true colors, quoted in USA Today)

Mar 11 1998

The town of Cicero, IL agrees to donate $10,000 towards the printing of KKK literature to be mailed to its residents, in return for the Klan not holding a scheduled rally.

3/11/2008 12:12:56 PM

Mar 12 1888

The massive and unexpected Blizzard of 1888 strikes the East coast of the United States, paralyzing New York and many other cities and leaving at least 400 dead. Snowdrifts fifty feet high were reported, and New York received over 40 inches of snow.

Mar 12 1928

The two-year-old St. Francis Dam north of Los Angeles fails catastrophically just before midnight, unleashing 52 million tons of water on the city of Santa Paula. 437 people are killed by the torrent, including 19 families with no survivors whatsoever.

Mar 12 1945

Anne Frank dies at Auschwitz.

Mar 12 1964

Malcolm X withdraws from the Nation of Islam after he finds out that Elijah Mohammad has been porking his secretaries.

Mar 12 1980

A Chicago jury finds John Wayne Gacy guilty of the murders of 33 men and boys. The next day, he is sentenced to death; after years on death row, Gacy is finally executed in May 10, 1994.

Mar 12 1993

A series of bomb explosions rock western India. The first kills 50 at the Bombay Stock Exchange, and many other explosions target theaters, offices, and shopping areas. It is suspected that the acts were intended to destabilize India's government.

Mar 12 2000

Pope John Paul II asks God's forgiveness for the many wrongs committed by the Roman Catholic Church. The pardon he requested divided into seven categories of Church sin, including sins against the Jews, against native peoples of the world, the crimes of the Inquisition, and general crimes against humanity. This pardon was requested only for past sins, and apparently does not apply to the Church's many ongoing sins.

3/12/2008 1:07:45 PM

boy i cant wait to see what happened on my bday, march 18th..

3/12/2008 1:08:36 PM

Mar 13 1881

An anarchist from the radical group People's Will throws a bomb which disrupts Czar Alexander II's motorcade. After he thanks God for his deliverance, the anarchist yells "It is too early to thank God" and throws a second bomb, causing injuries from which Alexander bleeds to death.

Mar 13 1923

Twenty-two persons killed in a poison rice episode, China. Five cooks are blamed.

Mar 13 1964

At 3:15am, bar manager Catherine "Kitty" Genovese is raped and stabbed to death outside her apartment building in Queens, NY. None of her 38 neighbors who witness the 32-minute ordeal even bothers to call the cops. Later in court, several testify hearing her scream: "Oh my God! He stabbed me! Please help me! I'm dying!"

Mar 13 1996

Salim and Ruksana Patel find the arabic word for Allah spelled in the seeds of an aubergine (a Persian eggplant variant) which they intended for a casserole at their home in Bolton, England. Their local mullah declares it a miracle.

Mar 13 1997

Hassan Abdullah's wife accidentally severs her husband's penis while she was "dreaming about strangling him". Luckily for Abdullah doctors in Malaysia were able to successfully reattach his endangered manhood, but not so lucky is the fact that he sleeps with a woman who keeps a knife in bed and dreams about strangling her husband.

3/13/2008 8:44:46 AM

Quote :

"Mar 13 1964 At 3:15am, bar manager Catherine "Kitty" Genovese is raped and stabbed to death outside her apartment building in Queens, NY. None of her 38 neighbors who witness the 32-minute ordeal even bothers to call the cops. Later in court, several testify hearing her scream: "Oh my God! He stabbed me! Please help me! I'm dying!""

thus the Boondock Saints are created.

3/13/2008 9:02:29 AM

Quote :

"1997 - The Phoenix lights were seen over Phoenix, Arizona, & were seen by hundreds of people, & millions on television. "

3/13/2008 9:07:25 AM

Mar 14 1883

Karl Marx dies of bronchitis in London.

Mar 14 1932

George Eastman, the founder of Kodak Corporation, kills himself after a long illness. His suicide note states "To my friends: My work is done. Why wait?"

Mar 14 1945

"I am going to jump into my grave laughing because the knowledge that I have the deaths of millions of people on my conscience is a source of extraordinary satisfaction to me." Adolf Eichmann.

Mar 14 1967

Nine German executives of the manufacturer of thalidomide, Grunethal, are charged with breaking their country's drug laws. Thalidomide, a sedative, caused over 12,000 babies in late 1950's Europe to be born with flippers instead of limbs.

Mar 14 1968

Nerve gas leaks from the U.S. Army Dugway Proving Ground, near Skull Valley Utah. The gas killed 1600 sheep on the Goshute indian reservation and made hundreds more sick. Dugway is a test center for chemical and biological agents.

Mar 14 1997

A tank illegally stored at the federal government's Hanford nuclear facility in Washington state explodes, causing the release of 30,000 gallons of plutonium into the environment. The government tried to cover up the incident, going so far as having the Department of Energy deny the release of any contamination.

3/14/2008 12:32:43 PM

Mar 15

Beware the Ides of March.

Mar 15

Today is the International Day Against Police Brutality, first observed in 1997 after Swiss police beat two children age 11 and 12 to death.

Mar 15 44

Julius Caesar, already warned to be wary on this the Ides of March by the astrologer Spurinna, assassinated with pointy knives by a group of Senators at the Pompey theater.

Mar 15 1812

Luddites attack Frank Vickerman's wool processing factory at Taylor Hill in West Yorkshire, resulting in general destruction and attempted arson. The rampaging Luddites were incensed because his machines replaced workers, but Vickerman was primarily targeted because of involvement in an Anti-Luddite committee.

Mar 15 1894

Jean Pauwels is killed walking into the Madeline church in Paris, when a bomb in his pocket suddenly goes off. The Belgian anarchist is later determined to have been responsible for two other explosions in February, one of which killed a pedestrian.

Mar 15 1937

H P Lovecraft dies from cancer and Bright's disease in Rhode Island.

Mar 15 1998

White House aide Kathleen Willey claims on the trashy TV tabloid program 60 Minutes that President Bill Clinton kissed her, touched her breasts and made her touch his "no-no place." Clinton of course denies this version of events.

3/15/2008 12:45:24 PM

Quote :

" Jean Pauwels is killed walking into the Madeline church in Paris, when a bomb in his pocket suddenly goes off. The Belgian anarchist is later determined to have been responsible for two other explosions in February, one of which killed a pedestrian."

I've sung at L'église de la Madeleine in Paris, very beauitful!!

3/15/2008 1:01:29 PM

Mar 15 2008

All the lightweights go out drinking and fuck up Mr. Joshua's saturday night.

3/15/2008 1:07:36 PM