pttyndal WINGS!!!!! 35217 Posts user info edit post |
6 7/2/2009 12:04:03 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
oh man i have a good one on the line 7/2/2009 1:27:17 PM |
EdFurlong All American 677 Posts user info edit post |
me too! i have a new e-girlfriend. dont judge us 7/2/2009 1:33:55 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
ok, this one is kind of long so you have to stick with it:
Quote : | "Stranger: soo Stranger: should I stop jerking off? You: why would you? Stranger: because its addictin? Stranger: addicting* You: a dickting even Stranger: lol Stranger: so Stranger: should I? You: if i had one I would play with it all the time Stranger: lol Stranger: same, but with pussy and tits Stranger: You: true. asl? Stranger: mhmm Stranger: 22 m uk You: 15 f usa You: ? Stranger: soo... Stranger: what shall we do now? You: i dunno, what do people usually do on here? Stranger: chat Stranger: but I dont know what should be chat about Stranger: ya got any ideas? You: i'm up for anything really Stranger: you're up for.... anything? Stranger: You: yup Stranger: mhmmm *evil smile* Stranger: so Stranger: do you believe in god? You: nope You: do you? Stranger: nope You: do you like younger girls? Stranger: maybe.... You: maybe? Stranger: maybe, as in "omfg do you even have to ask" You: just not sure, some guys don't Stranger: I suppose you like older boys? boys with big... things You: mmmhmmmm Stranger: that means yes? You: of course You: "omfg do you even have to ask" Stranger: hehehehe Stranger: soo... you start talking about something... about anything You: i am bad at this. you start Stranger: okay... Stranger: 1,1,2,3 Stranger: whats the next number? You: 5 Stranger: nice Stranger: or you just guessed lol You: then 8,13, 21......shall I continue? Stranger: or you just googled that Stranger: but it doesn't matter You: are you saying I'm not smart? Stranger: nope Stranger: I still have to determine that Stranger: how about You: i'm pretty damn smart for my age You: damn cute too Stranger: 1,11,21,1211, 111221 Stranger: whats the next number? You: no clue on that one Stranger: hmm you indeed seem to be smart You: and cute Stranger: since you're bragging about your cuteness all the time... how about you show me a pic? You: what kind of pic. Stranger: picture of you, your face Stranger: and/or your body You: and what do I get in return? Stranger: what would you like in return? You: what do you think? Stranger: the same thing I wanted? You: lower Stranger: then my requests increase too You: of course Stranger: since we both want to see each others.... lower halfs, how about we start with faces first You: I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline. Why don't you go ahead and take a seat over there? Stranger: ...? You: I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline. Why don't you go ahead and take a seat over there? Stranger: you're gonna disconnect now wont you..? Stranger: lol You: Did the stranger tell you she was a 15 year old girl? Stranger: lol Stranger: actually, she didn't You: You: true. asl? Stranger: mhmm Stranger: 22 m uk You: 15 f usa Stranger: oh no... you've caught me... please dont put me in jail! You: You are free to go at any time. Just walk out that door. Stranger: lol Stranger: so Stranger: what do we do now? You: You are free to go Stranger: so are you You: I promise there are no cops with tazers outside the door Stranger: so do I Stranger: so how long will we stay here trying to outsmart each other? You: I'm not the pervert trying to see naked pictures of a 15 year old Stranger: neither am I You: lol. good luck dude Stranger: same You have disconnected." |
7/2/2009 1:40:56 PM |
EdFurlong All American 677 Posts user info edit post |
Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hi You: hey Stranger: do you have any funny stories? You: yeah Stranger: you want to share one? You: yes me first Stranger: ok You: one time i was hittin it from behind.. then i spat on her back to make her think i came.. so she turns around and i came in her eye!! WOOOO! oh and another time i did the same trick.. spat on her back and she turned around while i came in my hand and totally spider man webbed her in the face!! Stranger: you never did that You: dont judge me stranger! You: its your turn Stranger: alright Stranger: one time i woke up in a cave Stranger: had no idea where i was You: in a cave Stranger: rolled over and there was a girl next to me You: right Stranger: so then i crawled out of the cave Stranger: right into the middle of campus Stranger: it was a fountain by the library they had drained for the drought You: oh Stranger: then we went to my apartment and had happy time You: how is that more believable than my web sling story Your conversational partner has disconnected. 7/2/2009 1:45:22 PM |
Sweden All American 12295 Posts user info edit post |
Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: HI MALE 20 WITH WEBCAM NEED HORNY GIRL WITH MSN WEBCAM You: oh ok Stranger: ok Your conversational partner has disconnected. 7/2/2009 1:50:55 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Stranger: ¨hi You: sup Stranger: where are you from? You: tomorrow You: you? Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
Quote : | "Stranger: hi You: hello Stranger: Stranger: where you from? You: whats that You: tomorrow You: you? Stranger: huh? You: are you stupid? Stranger: wad you talking? You: im recruiting people You: i dont need stupids though Stranger: huh? You: whats your IQ? You: and your address Stranger: huh? You: you heard me stupid Stranger: where you from? You: tomorrow You: where do you live? Stranger: wad tommorow Stranger: you shut up Stranger: stupid asshole You: dont talk like that to me Stranger: go and die You: sounds like you are too stupid Stranger: and eat my shit! Stranger: idot You: to be recruited to my special project Stranger: crazy! You: you will die in 48 minutes Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
Quote : | "Stranger: hi You: hello You: whats new You: HEY FUCKER You: ANSWER ME BITCH Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
Quote : | "Stranger: Hey! You: yo You: how are you?! You: ive missed you! Stranger: i'm great thank you Stranger: and you ? You: youre welcome! You: im fantastic! You: except Stranger: =) You: well except my dick is bent You: AT 90 DEGREES You: You: can you help me???????????? Stranger: hmmm Stranger: why not Stranger: what do you prefer ? Stranger: my hot pussy ? Stranger: my ass ? Stranger: my mouth ? You: surgery money actually Stranger: my throat ? You: i want donations You: whats your paypal?? Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
[Edited on July 2, 2009 at 2:01 PM. Reason : lol]7/2/2009 1:57:13 PM |
abbradsh All American 2418 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "You: herro? Stranger: hello You: o rrry? Stranger: 21 f japan hello You: azn? Stranger: what means Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
lolz7/2/2009 2:05:42 PM |
MovieGuru23 All American 1283 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "You: hi Stranger: hello You: tww? Stranger: what? You: its a website You: the greatest website Stranger: yeah You: you on it? Stranger: yes you too i guess You: i am Stranger: where u from? You: the birthplace of tww Stranger: no idea You: bwn?" |
7/2/2009 2:13:50 PM |
Fail Boat Suspended 3567 Posts user info edit post |
anyone rickrolling? 7/2/2009 2:15:07 PM |
SaabTurbo All American 25459 Posts user info edit post |
Aww, I didn't know Kiwi's dick got bent 90 degrees too son.
(I'm just messin witcha son) ] 7/2/2009 2:16:14 PM |
abbradsh All American 2418 Posts user info edit post |
this site sucks
nothing but asians and random french dudes 7/2/2009 2:19:50 PM |
SaabTurbo All American 25459 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "You: Hallum my son You: HALLUM Stranger: Do you like candy? You: Yes son You: YES You: CANDY SON Stranger: Was that a curse? You: Naw son You: Naw You: NAW Stranger: How old are you? You: You first my son You: you first You: Age You: son Stranger: 45 You: Well, then this is gonna get weird You: cause I'm 23 son You: and I'm calling you son son Stranger: You're too old for my taste You: It might get even more weird if you were a female son You: Yeah, I figured son, like em pre-puberty eh? Stranger: Yep You: I know how it is son You: I know how it is You: Well, you have a good day hunting for children to fondle son You: I'mma hit up some other folks and call them son son Stranger: What does hallum mean? You: It means hello my son Stranger: Cool Stranger: Wait! You: waiting my son Stranger: I'm really 18 Stranger: I'm a guy Stranger: And I like people my age You: SCUMBAG! You have disconnected." |
Wow, this one was actually quite a bit of fun. ]7/2/2009 2:21:36 PM |
BEU All American 12512 Posts user info edit post |
second conversation ever
Quote : | "Stranger: egg Stranger: ?! You: cheese Stranger: egg cheese Stranger: hmm Stranger: maybe You: bacon Stranger: bacon egg cheese You: MUST HAVE BACOn Stranger: I agree You: bojangles Stranger: BACONSTRIPS FROM BRANDOG You: mm good Stranger: BACON BACON BACON You: MUCH HAVE BACON Stranger: MUUUUUUUST HAAAAAAAVE BAAAAAAACON You: OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY ITS BACON! You: nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom Stranger: NOOO ITS BACONSTRIPS MADE BY BRANDOG FROM PRANDERIA Stranger: DOGS DONT KNOW ITS NOT BACON You: because they dont have opposable thumbs sp? Stranger: true that You: good chat Stranger: peace. You: die Stranger: no u" |
7/2/2009 2:23:44 PM |
SaabTurbo All American 25459 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "You: HEY Stranger: EGG You: FUCK YOU Stranger: OMFG You: YOU BASTARD Stranger: YOU AGAIN\ Stranger: GTFO You: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE SOn You: NO You: YOU DIE SON You: DIE Stranger: THE GAME You: TDUB SON You: TDUB You: WHICH ONE ARE YOU SON? Stranger: YOU LOST IT SIR You: YOU KNOW ME SON You: I DON'T KNOW YOU SON Stranger: B4U? You: NAW You: NAW You: NAW You: NAW You: NAW Stranger: EGG You: CHS You: BCN Stranger: ... You: CHEESE BACON You: CHS BCN Stranger: ugh. need mcdonalds halp You: Naw, get bojangles son You: McD is gross son Stranger: PSHYCOFAG You: Naw son You: NAW Stranger: the singer. You: haha Stranger: GTFO -sparta kick. Your conversational partner has disconnected." | ]7/2/2009 2:31:16 PM |
abbradsh All American 2418 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Stranger: IH You: I'M BILLY MAYS You: FROM TEH HEAVENS Stranger: DUDE IM MICHAEL You: NO YOU ARE ANTHONY SULLIVAN Stranger: CAN I TELL A SECRET You: YES MAYBE Stranger: MY BALLS STILL BLACK You: you need to get that checked out You: CHECK OUT THIS MED WEBSITE, IT WILL GIVE YOU A DIAGNOSIS You: http://bit.ly/18uStU Stranger: FUCK U Stranger: MOTHEFUCKA" |
rickrolled like a bitch7/2/2009 2:32:13 PM |
Jeepin4x4 #Pack9 35774 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Stranger: hi You: Hi Stranger: where are u from? You: usa You: you Stranger: iran You: and iran You: iran so far away Stranger: yes You: OMG you like flock of seagulls too!? Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
[Edited on July 2, 2009 at 2:41 PM. Reason : whoops]7/2/2009 2:41:38 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "You: fuck you You: !!!!!!!!!! Stranger: :'( Stranger: lol You: asshole You: NO LOL Stranger: oki You: NO LAUGHING TIME You: fuck you son Stranger: lol i'm i girl though bye Your conversational partner has disconnected" |
7/2/2009 2:58:11 PM |
dustm All American 14296 Posts user info edit post |
^^ lol
Quote : | "You: die Stranger: no u"" |
lol
[Edited on July 2, 2009 at 2:59 PM. Reason : d]7/2/2009 2:58:34 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
lol that made me giggle too 7/2/2009 3:00:51 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
ahhhh ha ha ha ha. This one's a classic.
Quote : | "Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: Hi Stranger: what time is it? You: 2 of Stranger: ?? You: 2 of Stranger: I don't understand you You: you asked what time it is. it is 2 of Stranger: 2 of what? You: DEEZ NUTS! Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
7/2/2009 3:05:44 PM |
bassjunkie All American 3093 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: Well.. You: I am lactating Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
7/2/2009 3:21:23 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: 5 You: 4 Stranger: 4 Stranger: 3 You: 3 You: 2 You: 1 Stranger: 0 Stranger: -1 You: 1 You: 2 You: 3 You: 4 Stranger: -2 You: 4 You: 5 You: 6 You: 7 You: 7 You: 8 You: 9 You: 0 Stranger: 2-3- You: - Stranger: 4 Stranger: 4 Stranger: 4 Stranger: 4 Stranger: 4 Stranger: 4 Stranger: 4 Stranger: 4 You: 111111 You: 1 You: 1 You: 1 You: 1 You: 1 Stranger: 4 You: 1 You: 1 Stranger: 4 Stranger: 4 You: 1 You: 1 You: 1 Stranger: 44 You: 1 Stranger: 4 You: 1 You: 1 You: 11 You: 1 You: 1 You: 1 You: 1 Stranger: 44444444444444444444444444444444 You: 11 Stranger: 4 You: 1 You: 1 You: 1 Stranger: 4 You: 1 You: 1 Stranger: 4 You: 1 Stranger: 44 You: 1 You: 1 Stranger: 4 You: 1 Stranger: 4 You: 1 Stranger: 5 You: 1 You: 1 Stranger: 5 You: 1 Stranger: 5 You: 1 Stranger: 5 You: 1 Stranger: 6 Stranger: 6 You: 1 Stranger: 66 You: 11 Stranger: 7 You: 1 Stranger: 7 You: 1 You: 1 Stranger: 7 Stranger: 8 Stranger: 8 You: 1 Stranger: 8 You: 1 Stranger: 8 You: 1 You: 1 You: 1 You: 1 You: 2 You: 3 You: 34 You: 4 You: 5 You: 6 You: 6 You: 7 You: 78 You: 8 You: 98 You: 9 You: 90 You: 0 You: 0 You: 0- Stranger: race war! You: - You: 3 You: 3 You: i win You: cause im white You: and youre black Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
7/2/2009 3:22:10 PM |
lopezlisa All American 540 Posts user info edit post |
This one is quite long... But I enjoyed it.
Quote : | "Stranger: I can only carry 50 chickens at a time!!! You: Oh no!! You: Can you make two trips? Stranger: But.... he's got a bucket on his head!!!! You: Put them in the bucket!! You: Efficiency is key! Stranger: Good idea! You: Why thank you! Stranger: But I can only carry one bucket at a time! You: I can carry one as well! You: double the chicken carrying! Stranger: But there's only one! You: NOOOOOO!!! You: Can I go buy one? You: Wait!! You: What if I turn the chickens into a bucket? Stranger: You can do that?! You: I CAN TRY!!!!!!!!!!!! You: *feathers flying* Stranger: Do it, man! We're losing chickens! You: CHICKENS!!! MAKE ME A BUCKET!! You: *chickens have made themselves a bucket* You: There you have it. You: When life gives you too many chickens, make a bucket Stranger: But wait! now there are no chickens to carry! You: No, now there is a chicken-bucket. You: Original recipe Stranger: I like the way you think Stranger: But I prefer Extra Crispu Stranger: *y You: WHAT?! You: How dare you. You: I challenge you to a duel! Stranger: Choose your weapon! *holds out two chickens* You: aah... uh... ummm.. You: I choose a chicken? Stranger: I slap thee across the face with the rear end of my chicken!' You: Chicken shit! Well played You: I am shamed... Stranger: Relinquish your chicken! You have no right to carry it any longer! You: I am on my knees in fealty to you!! Please, accept my chicken AND their bucket! Stranger: I take the bucket and shove your head into it. Stranger: I name thee Sir Buckethead and slap your shoulder with the chicken in my hand You: *I breathe in feathers, choking* You: Thank you sir You: .... You: Now what? Stranger: Now, World War 5 starts. You: Great balls of fire! You: Quick, battle stations! Stranger: I slip on a cup of spilled coffe on the floor and black out You: Well fuck. Now we can't run our battle stations. You: I drink the coffee off the floor. You: MMmm. Guatemala. Stranger: I wake up and jump up. WHO WHAT WHERE WHEN WHY AND HOW You: ME! COFFEE! FLOOR! JUST THEN! I SPILT IT! YOU CAN'T WALK?! You: I'm sorry, that last one was rude. Stranger: I can't walk.... But I can run! Rouse the chickens! Empty the coops, double time! It's the end of days! You: The end is nigh!!! COME BUCKET-O-CHICKENS!!! You: Tell the cocks I'm sorry for stealing their women, but it is time. You: I hope I will return! SIR BUCKETHEAD AWAY!!! Stranger: Quickly! To the escape coop! You: I slip on a cup of spilled coffee on the floor, the same one. And black out. Stranger: The shit has officially hit the fan Stranger: I pick you up and throw you into the escape coop You: *I am jolted awake* You: !! Am I dead??? Stranger: Brace the doors! Strap yourselves in! Break out the happy snacks! You: OH!! HEAVENS!!! Happy snacks, happy snacks, more fun than a pillow fight! Stranger: We have no fuel in the escape coop's engines! You: Use the chicken-bucket You: Bio-fuel! Stranger: Our only chance is to use the Happy Snack's explosive components to BS our way into outer space! You: NO!!! Stranger: Chickens aren't explosive enough for it! You: I love happy snacks.... You: oh FINE. Stranger: It's.... all we can do, Sir Buckethead You: *I stuff allll the snacks into the tank* You: HOLD ON!!! Stranger: I grab the nearest chicken and alternate between praying and cursing Stranger: Punch it, Chewie! You: HUUUUUULLLLLLLGLGGGGGGHGHHHHHHH!!!! You: *punches it* Stranger: Not literally! You've broken the ignition system! You: Damn... wookiepowertricks don't always work. You: Very well. I'll have to put YOU in the tank! Stranger: Nonononononoooo! Don't! You: I'm sorry... You: But I don't want to die Stranger: Do you think I do!? You: DO YOU? You: HA! You: You hesitated. Stranger: Of course I do! You: Ah well then You: Get the hell in there! Stranger: But not as fuel!!!! You: Ahah, too late, you're fuel! Stranger: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Stranger: *asplodes into fuel* You: I sail away peacefully into the veiled abyss of space You: The End." |
7/2/2009 4:05:20 PM |
dustm All American 14296 Posts user info edit post |
short but sweet:
Quote : | "You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: shoop shoop da woop Stranger: tu pue de la raie Stranger: FIRIN MAH LAZOOOOOOR Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
[Edited on July 2, 2009 at 4:08 PM. Reason : ^ haha damn]7/2/2009 4:06:26 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89771 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Stranger: i wish i were an oscar meyer weiner You: well, I wish you were an oscar meyer weiner too Stranger: your so sweet asl You: too old/m/ny Stranger: k 35 f Sc You: hot You: what part of SC? Stranger: coastal You: gotcha. I used to live in Charlotte, NC You: I miss the south a little bit Stranger: its to damn hot You: ha ha ha. I sure wasn't complaining about that this past winter when it was -7 degrees up here in NY Stranger: i miss the old white stuff You: it's ok for a while I guess. It gets old quick though You: so, 35 eh? wow, you're even older than I am! Stranger: yeah married with 4 kids You: 4?! oh wow. you must have started early Stranger: one being my husband You: aha You: I'm 27, no kids Stranger: want one you can have my husband Stranger: no charge You: no thank you You: he seems like a douche :-/ Stranger: no he just likes video games to much You: well, honestly, if I didn't have to work all the damn time, I would probably play xbox a lot more too... You: but maybe I was too quick to judge the guy. he's probably not a complete douche Stranger: no he is rich too got rich in the oil business You: I mean, not to be a dick or anything....but if my wife pushed 3 kids out of her dusty old vagina, I probably wouldn't want to spend as much time with her either Stranger: wat You: ಠ_ಠ Stranger: im still tight as ever bitch You: ahh, ok. my mistake You: you know...I just naturally assumed that at age 35, your vagina lips hang like sleeve of wizard...and that you are basically a barren wasteland of a whore by this point Stranger: my husband waits on me hand and foot i just dont like his games You: I didn't mean to offend...please don't think ill of me You: oh well, he does sound like a very nice gentleman You: how long have you two been married? Stranger: your an ass just cause im im older my tits are still perky too You: I'm sorry you feel that way. It's not my intention to come off as an ass You: I'm sure your breasts are nice and perky as ever Stranger: just to cum in one You: Again, I apologize....I think that we just got off on the wrong foot Stranger: weve beem married for 10 yrs and dated for 4 more You: oh man, that's awesome. it's nice to see a marriage that has some hope of lasting. I hope you two love each other very much! Stranger: suck up You: me? no, I'm no suck up. I hope to be married one day myself Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
I cannot believe she disconnected from me ]7/2/2009 4:07:55 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
hahahaha
Quote : | "You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: ho! Stranger: helllllllllllllllo You: good day! You: to you! Stranger: good evening Stranger: sir You: what is up! Stranger: the sky You: how original! Stranger: which is where i am im really fucking stoned, You: Why were you stoned? WHAT CRIME HAS THOU COMMITED? Stranger: no, silly, stoned as in im high, smokin the hurb etc You: I'm sorry? Please explain! What is hurb? Stranger: weed, marujana You: Ah, now that you've admitted it don't try to run. This is Chief Johnson with the Police Department Stranger: lol Stranger: where are you? You: I have your IP address and will shortly be knocking on your door. Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
7/2/2009 4:17:52 PM |
Shadowrunner All American 18332 Posts user info edit post |
I'd like to declare lopezlisa the winner of this thread. 7/2/2009 4:22:42 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Stranger: hi You: hello Stranger: hows it goin You: Not bad you? Stranger: can't complain, just enjoying my day off You: Word You: My wife just left me You: Life is great Stranger: you partying? You: Not yet, transferring all my account so she can't get my hard earned money, the bitch You: accounts* Stranger: good idea, then you party lol You: Exactly You: Say are you American? Stranger: yeah i am, you? You: Sure am, I'm looking for a place to drop some big money for a while. You: Everyone wants me to go oversears, I don't trust those damn terrorists Stranger: put it in a swiss account You: I'd rather keep a low profile, if you know what I mean. You: Are you a pretty upstanding citizen? Stranger: bury it lol Stranger: and yeah, have to be to stay a soldier You: Ah yes! The American dream! You're perfect! Stranger: for what? You: Listen, do you think I could deposit some of my money into your account for a little while? I will give you a cut for your help! Stranger: sure, give it to me face to face, and i'll be more than happy to sit on it You: Ok, but first I need to know I can trust you. You: Follow this link for a brief questionaire I put together http://tinyurl.com/5m3oyf Stranger: nice lol Stranger: rick roll'd!!!! You: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You: ok bye" |
lulz
Quote : | "Stranger: Do you like horror-core music? You: only in the butt Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
[Edited on July 2, 2009 at 4:30 PM. Reason : lrha]7/2/2009 4:25:45 PM |
Fail Boat Suspended 3567 Posts user info edit post |
rofl
this chick says this is her
http://www.heymarklove.piczo.com/?cr=6
hmm, maybe it was her, she took the trouble to actually take it down
this is all I snagged
and this
[Edited on July 2, 2009 at 5:11 PM. Reason : .] 7/2/2009 5:07:47 PM |
lopezlisa All American 540 Posts user info edit post |
lulz.
Quote : | "Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: tittys? You: *titties Stranger: titties? You: Well done. You: balls? Stranger: nuts* You: nuts? Stranger: NITZ?!?!? Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
7/2/2009 5:22:00 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
7/2/2009 5:26:23 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
oh damn, I have a REAL perv on here now. He is 28, thinks I am 16. This will be a good one 7/2/2009 5:38:45 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
OK, this one is REALLY REALLY long, but I am going to post the whole thing so you can see how I set this motherfucking pervert up. His fat, computer programming ass is probably sweating bullets right now.
Quote : | "Stranger: hi You: hi Stranger: How u doin? You: pretty good, just got off work You: asl? Stranger: 28m Stranger: u? You: 16/f/us Stranger: wow, young lady :-) You: not really You: it's not like I'm 12 Stranger: 16 is fairly young if your 28 :-) Stranger: Fair enough! Stranger: What work do you do? You: i work at GAP You: just a summer job Stranger: The Fashion store I pressume :-) You: yes You: i take it you are not in USA Stranger: Enjoying it? Stranger: Nope You: it's gas and beer money, so I can't complain Stranger: Im in South Africa Stranger: Of European descent You: what do you do? Stranger: Software developer Stranger: Do you plan on studying after school? You: yes. I want to major in Biology You: i graduate high school next year Stranger: Yeah, you must be excited! You: you have no idea You: i want to go to college as far away from here as possible! Stranger: Why is that? You: my mom's boyfriend is an asshole Stranger: That sucks Stranger: Why is thaT? You: not only do I have to listen to them having sex all the time, but he always walks in on me when I am in my underwear. Like it's an accident. YEAH RIGHT! Stranger: I agree Stranger: Thats just wrong You: not that I don't like showing off, but not for him that's for sure Stranger: And I can think of nothing worse than listening to your parents having sex Stranger: hehe Stranger: If you have it flaunt it :-) You: that's my motto Stranger: Do you have a boyfriend? You: ha ha ha, nope. guys my age are WAY too immature You: what about you? have a girlfriend? Stranger: Nope, single Stranger: But that will change when it must :-) You: true. i just want to have fun at the moment You: can't be tied down when I go away to college Stranger: True that! Stranger: Exactly Stranger: You can get a boyfriend/friend with benifits there :-) You: or several! You: god, i sound like a slut Stranger: haha Stranger: I wouldnt say that You: but you are a stranger so I guess it doesn't matter Stranger: Stranger: Your just someone enjoying there youth! You: exactly You: i have an older sister and she is married with 2 kids, and absolutely miserable You: that won't be me Stranger: How old is she? You: 22 Stranger: When did she marry? You: 19. but she was dating the guy since high school Stranger: Stilll.... Very young You: NO SHIT! Stranger: lol You: he is the only guy she has ever been with. what a waste Stranger: Well, that depends Stranger: If you've only been with one guy, there's no comparison You: well she hears the stories of all her single friends, and even me Stranger: StorieS? You: so I know she wishes she could experience that Stranger: Experience what? You: i mean, most of her friends are still in college or just graduated. so they tell her about all the hot guys they have been with Stranger: ahhhh, i see Stranger: I assume you've been with more than one guy too? You: 3 Stranger: Any regrets? You: not at all. i am still cool with all of them Stranger: Impressive :-) You: what about you old man? Stranger: lol Stranger: Still a virgin You: really? Stranger: Ya, just worked out that way I guess You: wow. so is there a religious reason, or just haven't found the right one? Stranger: My girlfriends have been fairly conservative Stranger: At this point in my life I think I would bang a sheep lol You: WHAT FLATTERY! You: lol Stranger: hehe Stranger: Being horny 24/7 sucks! You: i know the feeling Stranger: Whish I could get a switch to turn of my libido Stranger: Your horny 24/7 ??? Stranger: Every man's dream hehe Stranger: Marry me!! You: hell yes Stranger: Like I said, every man's dream! You: you like younger girls? Stranger: Yes, I would say so Stranger: And your thoughts on older men? You: DUH! The best! You: I told you that guys my age suck Stranger: How old was the older guy you where with? Stranger: oldest I mean You: the guy i lost my virginity to was my age, bf. the other two were older. both in their 20s You: which now that I think about it, was probably illegal Stranger: yup Stranger: How old were you? You: 15-16 Stranger: How was the sex? Stranger: Ahhh You: good I guess. not mind blowing or anything Stranger: your ultimatefantasy? You: getting it in the ass Stranger: My ultimate fantasy is giving it in the ass You: actually. getting it by 3 guys. one in each hole You: the bigger the better Stranger: wow, kinky You: now I REALLY sound like a slut Stranger: You ever get it in the ass? You: nope Stranger: Nope, not a slut Stranger: One should always be a FREAK in the bed You: south africans hate black people, right? Stranger: I don't mind them Stranger: I'm not black by the way You: i'm not black if that's what you are referring to Stranger: Was referring to myself You: I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline. Go ahead and have a seat over there. Stranger: huh? You: talking about anal sex with a 16 year old. tisk tisk Stranger: lol You: you are a virgin for a reason Stranger: ever heard of entrapment? You: fat, hairy, south african computer programmer You: lol, entrapment You: the conversation would have ended once she said she was 16 if I were in your shoes You: what could you possibly have in common with a 16 year old? Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
7/2/2009 6:06:56 PM |
dbmcknight All American 4030 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Stranger: asl You: 22m Stranger: l? You: NC Stranger: im 20f nc You: bull shit Stranger: chapel hill You: you go to UNC? Stranger: university of nigger cooking? You: not from chapel hill then Stranger: university of north carolina and no You: good. damn tarholes Stranger: i got to usc but i live in nc You: south carolina You: ? You: or southern cal You: ha Stranger: so cal Stranger: lol You: long way from home Stranger: ikr You: cool deal You: you could drive thirty minutes and we could hang out You: i'm in raleigh Stranger: NICE You: hahaha You: /creepy Stranger: ya You: nah, i actually just got married two weeks ago You: that probably wouldn't fly You: lol Stranger: lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Stranger: my tits are wet You: spill something? Stranger: no jizz Stranger: im having sex as we speak You: then how are you typing so well? Stranger: with my pussy You: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha You: amazing Stranger: whats cum? You: what isn't? Stranger: POOpie You: truth Stranger: i like to poop on mens chests You: aaaaaaaand you lost me Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
7/2/2009 8:15:01 PM |
EdFurlong All American 677 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hi You: whats up Stranger: nothing You: well good. ttyl You have disconnected." |
7/2/2009 8:19:01 PM |
dbmcknight All American 4030 Posts user info edit post |
this is too much fun
Quote : | "You: hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Stranger: heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy You: well played You: what's you're position? You: damn You: your You: not you are Stranger: hahah Stranger: my position is bed You: cutting right to the chase are we? Stranger: yea You: how old are you? Stranger: im 16 Stranger: u? You: 22 You: m or f? Stranger: f You: is this djeternal? Stranger: djeternal Stranger: what is that You: hahaha You: nm You have disconnected." |
[Edited on July 2, 2009 at 8:22 PM. Reason : .]7/2/2009 8:21:58 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
^ hahahahahahahaha 7/2/2009 8:27:28 PM |
dbmcknight All American 4030 Posts user info edit post |
shout out, yo
[Edited on July 2, 2009 at 8:31 PM. Reason : i was kinda hoping it was you, that would have been cool] 7/2/2009 8:29:51 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: hi2u Stranger: hi Stranger: how are you? You: good, how about you? Stranger: same here You: want to have sex? Stranger: well Stranger: yea Stranger: but You: ............ Stranger: u have to be a female You: 1 for 1 You: is there an age requirement? Stranger: nope You: is this dbmcknight? Stranger: no =\ Stranger: how old are u ?> Stranger: got msn ? You: is this jackleg? Stranger: yes You: fuck you then You have disconnected." |
7/2/2009 8:32:41 PM |
dbmcknight All American 4030 Posts user info edit post |
hahahahahahaha i love it
new one:
Quote : | "Stranger: hi. i have a 9.3 inch dick. im 16 and not gay You: i'm a dude and i'm not gay either. You have disconnected." |
[Edited on July 2, 2009 at 8:35 PM. Reason : .]7/2/2009 8:34:00 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
^ here you go. I got a chuckle on this one. you gotta read the ending.
Quote : | "Stranger: whale You: penis Stranger: i am a whale You: i am the walrus Stranger: im in the ocean You: um, me too You: we should totally do it Stranger: i love you You: awwwwwww, you are making me blush You: you are so sweet You: so I haven't talked to you in a while, how have you been? Stranger: im on my last legs You: sorry to hear that. how many legs did you start with? Stranger: its maleria i caught it in nam You: i thought you were a whale. what were you doing in Nam? Stranger: secret weapon You: a tropical whale. BRILLIANT Stranger: useful in the jungle You: tough to hide though You: must have taken a shit load of camoflage Stranger: id hit em with my tail You: so you have had maleria for 40 years? sucks man Stranger: better than the other You: herpes? Stranger: full on herpes You: i can imagine. those Vietnamese hookers were pretty nasty Stranger: i was a gay whale You: You didn't happen to serve under Major D.B. McKnight did you? Stranger: he died well poor man You: you know that D.B. really stood for douche bag, right? You: I am so glad he got the TWW medal before he passed, he served his internetz well Stranger: all right i was glad to see him go You have disconnected." |
7/2/2009 8:45:39 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Stranger: hi You: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Stranger: hay bale? You: no, stupid Stranger: Oh, you mean "hey". You: you're mean to me Stranger: sorry You: does tww mean anything to you? Stranger: no, should it? You: good You: 4CHAN You: egg You: lol Stranger: eh? You: hi You: want to ave sex? Stranger: Ah, you're the third person to ask me that! Everyone on here is so generous with their bodies... You: sex is hotness You: you know Stranger: sounds philosophical. Are you sure? You: sure You: sex is a ttemple of all that is good Stranger: can't argue with that You: ok now lick my penis Stranger: so, no chatting me up first then? You: whats the point? youre just a cum basket amirite? Stranger: Now that sort of attitude won't get you anywhere. Stranger: Did you mean STW earlier?or TTW? You: why not You: my dad told me that women are toy You: s You: no tww Stranger: Your dad's a bit of a prick then, isn't he? You: no hes a ladies man You: and gets the sex You: now bend over! Stranger: I doubt that somehow. Maybe he imagines he's a ladies man and gets sex. Why don't you bend over? Little experimentation never hurt anyone. You: are you gay/?>> Stranger: No, but I know that some guys I've slept with like a finger or two up the poop shoot for thrills. You: wow nasty You: so gross You: dude You: thats not cool Stranger: Have you tried it? You: yes You: but dont tell anyone Stranger: Did you enjoy it? You: what state do u live in? You: yes You: i like fists You: too Stranger: See, it's not gross.Just good fun. You: my daddy's fist fits best Stranger: great. Have a nice afternoon! You: why You: homophobe Stranger: because tomorrow may never come for you... Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
7/2/2009 8:48:58 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: im not a chick so if you wanna leave now, go ahead You: can I give a shout out to a few people real quick? Stranger: sure You: acraw acroyear ALkatraz ambrosia1231 Ansonian Apocalypse bcvaugha beergolftile bjwilli2 BoBo bobster brainysmurf Brass Monkey BRAVEHEART22 CapnObvious catzor CharlieEFH cheerwhiner chocolatervh Chop clayguevara Cold-Viper crazywolf96 dagreenone dakota_man Dave DaveOT dbmcknight dharney djeternal dustm Dynasty2004 eahanhan EdFurlong elkaybie EMCE EuroTitToss Fareako FeebleMinded fishicus flagator17 fleetwud Førte FroshKiller Fry ggBro hollister HUR ilopan86 IMStoned420 inSTAALed j_sun JeffreyBSG john kruk KartRaceKid kcon keanyewest keeeeler29 Kiwi Kodiak lafta LivinProof78 MarkE08 maverick31 maxmatias mcaflo melanndelyn mellocj mildew Motiak Mr Grace Mr. Joshua nastoute ncsu31sb ncsuGALxcPaC ncwolfpack Nerdchick Nighthawk not dnl Optimum optmusprimer Picaflora princesslia pttyndal qntmfred Quinn rhinosponge rich roberta RollPack sarijoul ScHpEnXeL scm011 ScubaSteve Senez ShawnaC123 simonn skokiaan SMILEY MAN Spontaneous state2285 stategurly85 steviewonder Talage tartsquid TaterSalad Thecycle23 thegoodlife3 themayor tracer TuTuLaRoo vinylbandit WolfAce Wolfey wolfpackgrrr xvang zorthage zrwearne zxappeal You: that should do it You: thanks Stranger: sorry who r they? You: my peeps You have disconnected" |
[Edited on July 2, 2009 at 8:49 PM. Reason : a]7/2/2009 8:49:25 PM |
EdFurlong All American 677 Posts user info edit post |
hahahah comedic gold 7/2/2009 8:50:21 PM |
dbmcknight All American 4030 Posts user info edit post |
my life finally has meaning 7/2/2009 8:53:12 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "You: oh hi Stranger: hi.... You: ok You: so You: why are the cops after me?? Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
7/2/2009 8:54:19 PM |
dbmcknight All American 4030 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "You: hi Stranger: whats your favorite country Stranger: in the world You: USA! USA! USA! You: you? Stranger: iraq =/ You: hahahahahahaha You: well played You have disconnected." |
7/2/2009 8:55:27 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Stranger: Hey You: hi Stranger: asl? You: fuck off Stranger: wow Stranger: how rude You: no You: you are Stranger: have fun living in your mothers basement You: too nosy Stranger: and jerkin off You: LOL Stranger: the rest of your life You: I GET MORE SEX THAN U Stranger: with your hand Stranger: yes You: with my teddy bear You: hes hot Stranger: anyone who has to use CAPS You: doesnt ask me asl Stranger: is pathetic You: no u Stranger: and a waste of my time You: dont waste mine! You: assface! Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
7/2/2009 8:57:03 PM |
TheBullDoza All American 7117 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: what up!!!! Your conversational partner has disconnected." |
7/2/2009 9:15:51 PM |